Well, my dear friends [and associates]
the end of the 00s is upon us.
After today, we can't say Oh-# to refer to the present year.
[I mean, you could say Oh-10,
but you'd just sound like a douche, right?]
We've sure been through a crazy decade, haven't we?
I mean, there's no way I can go through it all,
but to go through some that pop to mind:
9/11,we're at war!,we're still at war!,
we're in a recession,
MJ is gone,
Kanye,
50 Cent,
Beyonce,
Brittany,
Lady Gaga,
Chris Brown & Rihanna,
Lord of the Rings,
Harry Potter & Twilight,
Facebook & Twitter,
Hurricane Katrina,
fun times with Bush,
Obama!,
more songs telling us how to dance,
Virginia Tech,
Diddy runs everything,
Jay-Z retired and came back,
Chappelle Show,
The Boondocks,
and many other events and people.
Though I claim the 90s to the death of me,
the 00s is the first decade I can truly say I experienced all the way.
With this decade coming to a close,
everyone is saying that things will be different in the next decade:
Health care will get better.
We'll come out of the war.
We'll find better energy sources.
The recession won't turn into a depression.
Gay marriage will become more accepted.
Black people will become less ignorant. [my own]
On a smaller scale,people have their own personal goals:
I'mma lose this weight.I'mma find me a job.
I'm not gonna let people get in my way.
No more phony people in my life.
I'mma go back to school.
I'mma stop drinking.
I'mma stop cursing.
I'mma go to church.
I'mma find me a man/woman.
Well, whatever you say you gonna do,
whatever your big resolution may be,
follow through on it.
Don't let this be like every other year,
where you just said it to give yourself a goal and feel good about yourself.
Actually accomplish it.
That way you can truly be proud of yourself.
Make the 10s a decade of prosperity.
Word.
December 31, 2009
December 30, 2009
Uncle Gregory
It's been a long time since someone called me that.
As a few of you know,
I'm down in Fayetteville, NC
visiting my sister and her 3 kids:
2 boys (11 and 7), and a girl (4).
I haven't seen them since like...
Thanksgiving my freshman year.
So of course when me and my sister went to go get them from afternoon care last week
they all ran to me shouting "Uncle Gregory!"
[My mother's side of the family calls me by my middle name.
Most of us go by some sort of family nickname.]
I gotta admit,it felt good to be so missed.
I mean...
I am the fun/young uncle after all.
I'm the one they run to
when they get in trouble with their mother or grandma. Haha
I forgot what it was like to be an uncle.
The kids have been waking me up everyday.
Luckily, it's been at like 11 or noon.
I guess they know I stay up late.
Actually, I've gotten used to it
and I look forward to it now.
The lil girl is like a cute live action alarm clock.
Her ringtone: "Gregory, time for breakfast!"
:-) Haha.
After breakfast,
the youngest 2 ask for piggyback rides.
I be like "Wahn! I don't wanna."
And they be like, "Come on, Gregory."
So I give in and let them fight over who's first.
I also spin them around and make them fly;
I keep hold of their hands as they feet leave the carpet.
They really seem to like that,
but damn if it don't make me dizzy. Haha.
The oldest one...
He been gettin on my nerves.
We used to be cool when he was younger and when he was still up north,
but ever since he been down here,
he got that southern accent and he always got something to say.
It's probably just me.
We still aight though.
The younger 2 though,
they be crackin me up.
The 7 year old is just animated.
He's been following me around lately too.
He reminds me of myself a lil.
But he just got anger issues,
everytime he lose at a game
he get extra tight.
He gotta chill with that. Haha
And the lil girl,
she just hilarious.
A lot smarter than I thought she was too.
She be usin context clues to figure out words.
And she dress herself and be lookin fly.
Her mother taught her well.
We've been to the movies twice since
I've been here.
We saw Avatar.
Then we saw Alvin & the Chipmunks 2.
The second time, lil girl was lookin
at the Chipmunk display with 3 big statues of the Chipmunks.
It has this sign that says "Don't touch."
Then she looked at the big Percy Jackson display.
She walked over and got me.
She pulled me to the Percy display and said,
"Look, Gregory. No sign."
and went on and touched it.
Well, I just fell out. Haha
I gotta say it's been nice to see them all.
But I'm def ready to go back on my own.
Everytime I get on my laptop,
they wanna use it,
or look over my shoulder to see what I'm doin.
They can all read now,
which I often forget. Haha
So before they come back over and see I'm talkin about them,
I'mma go head and end this one.
Later my good friends [and associates].
Word.
As a few of you know,
I'm down in Fayetteville, NC
visiting my sister and her 3 kids:
2 boys (11 and 7), and a girl (4).
I haven't seen them since like...
Thanksgiving my freshman year.
So of course when me and my sister went to go get them from afternoon care last week
they all ran to me shouting "Uncle Gregory!"
[My mother's side of the family calls me by my middle name.
Most of us go by some sort of family nickname.]
I gotta admit,it felt good to be so missed.
I mean...
I am the fun/young uncle after all.
I'm the one they run to
when they get in trouble with their mother or grandma. Haha
I forgot what it was like to be an uncle.
The kids have been waking me up everyday.
Luckily, it's been at like 11 or noon.
I guess they know I stay up late.
Actually, I've gotten used to it
and I look forward to it now.
The lil girl is like a cute live action alarm clock.
Her ringtone: "Gregory, time for breakfast!"
:-) Haha.
After breakfast,
the youngest 2 ask for piggyback rides.
I be like "Wahn! I don't wanna."
And they be like, "Come on, Gregory."
So I give in and let them fight over who's first.
I also spin them around and make them fly;
I keep hold of their hands as they feet leave the carpet.
They really seem to like that,
but damn if it don't make me dizzy. Haha.
The oldest one...
He been gettin on my nerves.
We used to be cool when he was younger and when he was still up north,
but ever since he been down here,
he got that southern accent and he always got something to say.
It's probably just me.
We still aight though.
The younger 2 though,
they be crackin me up.
The 7 year old is just animated.
He's been following me around lately too.
He reminds me of myself a lil.
But he just got anger issues,
everytime he lose at a game
he get extra tight.
He gotta chill with that. Haha
And the lil girl,
she just hilarious.
A lot smarter than I thought she was too.
She be usin context clues to figure out words.
And she dress herself and be lookin fly.
Her mother taught her well.
We've been to the movies twice since
I've been here.
We saw Avatar.
Then we saw Alvin & the Chipmunks 2.
The second time, lil girl was lookin
at the Chipmunk display with 3 big statues of the Chipmunks.
It has this sign that says "Don't touch."
Then she looked at the big Percy Jackson display.
She walked over and got me.
She pulled me to the Percy display and said,
"Look, Gregory. No sign."
and went on and touched it.
Well, I just fell out. Haha
I gotta say it's been nice to see them all.
But I'm def ready to go back on my own.
Everytime I get on my laptop,
they wanna use it,
or look over my shoulder to see what I'm doin.
They can all read now,
which I often forget. Haha
So before they come back over and see I'm talkin about them,
I'mma go head and end this one.
Later my good friends [and associates].
Word.
December 29, 2009
Kwanzaa: It's... Real?
Created in 1966 by Ron Karenga,
Kwanzaa was meant to empower African Americans
during a time of great struggle in their lives.
It was an oppostition to Christmas and the white man's Christianity
but has since become an addition to black Christians.
Looking back at the time,
it is understandable why Kwanzaa would have been popular.
It was yet another way for blacks to come together
and celebrate themselves in the face of their oppressors.
But now, in the 21st century,such a need is no longer needed.
Kwanzaa was meant to empower African Americans
during a time of great struggle in their lives.
It was an oppostition to Christmas and the white man's Christianity
but has since become an addition to black Christians.
Looking back at the time,
it is understandable why Kwanzaa would have been popular.
It was yet another way for blacks to come together
and celebrate themselves in the face of their oppressors.
But now, in the 21st century,such a need is no longer needed.
Blacks have been able to live peacefuly among the whites.
Their struggles are not as promient as they were in the 60s, 70s, even 80s & 90s.
Nowadays, Kwanzaa just seems like a joke.
The 7 principles of Kwanzaa are not ludicrous-
Umoja (Unity): To strive for and to maintain unity in the family, community, nation, and race.
Kujichagulia (Self-Determination): To define ourselves, name ourselves, create for ourselves, and speak for ourselves.
Ujima (Collective Work and Responsibility): To build and maintain our community together and make our brothers' and sisters' problems our problems, and to solve them together.
Ujamaa (Cooperative Economics): To build and maintain our own stores, shops, and other businesses and to profit from them together.
Nia (Purpose): To make our collective vocation the building and developing of our community in order to restore our people to their traditional greatness.
Kuumba (Creativity): To do always as much as we can, in the way we can, in order to leave our community more beautiful and beneficial than we inherited it.
Imani (Faith): To believe with all our heart in our people, our parents, our teachers, our leaders, and the righteousness and victory of our struggle.
[taken from Wikipedia.org]
These principles are very empowering,
and if the 00s are different in anyway from the 70s,
it's that most blacks don't care about empowering anyone but themselves.
We only come together in times of oppression and family cookouts...
or for a crime scene that's down the block.
It would take another necessary Civil Rights movement
to get niggas to activitely celebrate Kwanzaa.
My family has never celebrated Kwanzaa.
Shit, for a while I thought it was a Muslim holiday.
We had Christmas,
Jews had Chanukah,
so why shouldn't Kwanzaa be the Muslims'?
I always figured it was the 3 main religions having their biggest celebrations all at the same time.
I mean... I was a kid.
Recently I've been tempted to celebrate Kwanzaa,
but it just doesn't feel right.
Plus, I'd have to explain it to all my white friends when I got back to school, hopefully this blog'll be enough. Haha.
Besides, it's admittedly on the decline,
possibly becoming obsolete as the world becomes a better place.
With that in mind,
I've created a song for Kwanzaa...
called the 7 days of Kwanzaa [like the 12 days of Christmas].
Um... for my black brothers and sisters,
you may get mad at me for this one,
but just know it's all just comedy, as usual.Enjoy.
[The last go around]
On the 7th day of Kwanzaa,
my black lover gave to me
7 food stamps
6 packs of menthols
5 fried chicken wings
4 spinning rims
3 40oz
2 packs of kool-aid
and a half eaten watermelon
It's fun to be both concious and ignit.
I feel like hip-hop and rap in one.
Haha.
Word.
Nowadays, Kwanzaa just seems like a joke.
The 7 principles of Kwanzaa are not ludicrous-
Umoja (Unity): To strive for and to maintain unity in the family, community, nation, and race.
Kujichagulia (Self-Determination): To define ourselves, name ourselves, create for ourselves, and speak for ourselves.
Ujima (Collective Work and Responsibility): To build and maintain our community together and make our brothers' and sisters' problems our problems, and to solve them together.
Ujamaa (Cooperative Economics): To build and maintain our own stores, shops, and other businesses and to profit from them together.
Nia (Purpose): To make our collective vocation the building and developing of our community in order to restore our people to their traditional greatness.
Kuumba (Creativity): To do always as much as we can, in the way we can, in order to leave our community more beautiful and beneficial than we inherited it.
Imani (Faith): To believe with all our heart in our people, our parents, our teachers, our leaders, and the righteousness and victory of our struggle.
[taken from Wikipedia.org]
These principles are very empowering,
and if the 00s are different in anyway from the 70s,
it's that most blacks don't care about empowering anyone but themselves.
We only come together in times of oppression and family cookouts...
or for a crime scene that's down the block.
It would take another necessary Civil Rights movement
to get niggas to activitely celebrate Kwanzaa.
My family has never celebrated Kwanzaa.
Shit, for a while I thought it was a Muslim holiday.
We had Christmas,
Jews had Chanukah,
so why shouldn't Kwanzaa be the Muslims'?
I always figured it was the 3 main religions having their biggest celebrations all at the same time.
I mean... I was a kid.
Recently I've been tempted to celebrate Kwanzaa,
but it just doesn't feel right.
Plus, I'd have to explain it to all my white friends when I got back to school, hopefully this blog'll be enough. Haha.
Besides, it's admittedly on the decline,
possibly becoming obsolete as the world becomes a better place.
With that in mind,
I've created a song for Kwanzaa...
called the 7 days of Kwanzaa [like the 12 days of Christmas].
Um... for my black brothers and sisters,
you may get mad at me for this one,
but just know it's all just comedy, as usual.Enjoy.
[The last go around]
On the 7th day of Kwanzaa,
my black lover gave to me
7 food stamps
6 packs of menthols
5 fried chicken wings
4 spinning rims
3 40oz
2 packs of kool-aid
and a half eaten watermelon
It's fun to be both concious and ignit.
I feel like hip-hop and rap in one.
Haha.
Word.
December 22, 2009
Grades
All my life,
I've been told to get good grades.
When I was younger,
if I had a C on my report card,
I was in trouble.
This and the need to get in a good college
motivated me to do well in school.
I was one of the smartest kids in elementary school.
I was valedictorian of my 8th grade class.
And I graduated with a 3.4 or 3.5 average from high school.
I always felt on top of the educational world.
I stood out cause I was smart.
But with each new school,
it got harder to stand out.
By the time I got to high school,
it wasn't like I was one of the only smart kids.
They were a whole mess of us.
Now I've finally made it to college.
I don't even know every one in my class.
I never will.I don't even know my friends gpas.
We never talk about that stuff,
maybe cause we're always back from when they come out.
In high school, we def ranked according to gpas a lil.
At the very least, it shaped the dynamics of things.
Smart kids actually had respect in my school.
Anyway
,without much talk about grades now,
not even from my parents really,
they hold less significance in my life.
There's no reason for me to really worry.
I never really entertained the thought of grad school.
I kind of do nowadays, but not really.
Grades now are only a gauge of if I'm failing or passing.
Sad. but really how sad?
Not much.
Grades aren't that important.
It's not like I'm gettin D's,
naw, I still got a scholarship to hold on to.
But I no longer freak out over a C or not gettin above 3.0.
2.7 and higher is fine.
Of course, I'm tryna do a little better,
cause I'm not sure if jobs look at your grades.
I doubt it.
But if they do,
I'll make sure to have other things to keep their mind off it.
Because experience beats a piece of paper 4 outta 5.
Word.
[...then again a combo of both is a killer. Hmm.]
I've been told to get good grades.
When I was younger,
if I had a C on my report card,
I was in trouble.
This and the need to get in a good college
motivated me to do well in school.
I was one of the smartest kids in elementary school.
I was valedictorian of my 8th grade class.
And I graduated with a 3.4 or 3.5 average from high school.
I always felt on top of the educational world.
I stood out cause I was smart.
But with each new school,
it got harder to stand out.
By the time I got to high school,
it wasn't like I was one of the only smart kids.
They were a whole mess of us.
Now I've finally made it to college.
I don't even know every one in my class.
I never will.I don't even know my friends gpas.
We never talk about that stuff,
maybe cause we're always back from when they come out.
In high school, we def ranked according to gpas a lil.
At the very least, it shaped the dynamics of things.
Smart kids actually had respect in my school.
Anyway
,without much talk about grades now,
not even from my parents really,
they hold less significance in my life.
There's no reason for me to really worry.
I never really entertained the thought of grad school.
I kind of do nowadays, but not really.
Grades now are only a gauge of if I'm failing or passing.
Sad. but really how sad?
Not much.
Grades aren't that important.
It's not like I'm gettin D's,
naw, I still got a scholarship to hold on to.
But I no longer freak out over a C or not gettin above 3.0.
2.7 and higher is fine.
Of course, I'm tryna do a little better,
cause I'm not sure if jobs look at your grades.
I doubt it.
But if they do,
I'll make sure to have other things to keep their mind off it.
Because experience beats a piece of paper 4 outta 5.
Word.
[...then again a combo of both is a killer. Hmm.]
December 21, 2009
Top 10 Reasons, EP5
With Christmas a surprising 4! days! away!
I've decided to make this weeks posts slighly Christmas themed.
So today's, we have top 10 reasons to fake liking a gift.
In truth, the top 10 will be kinds of gift.
In any case, enjoy.
10) A Gift Card
[You woulda been better off giving me cold cash. What I need a $50 gift card to American Eagle for? I'm a strictly Abercrombie moose kid!]
9) Something Expensive
[Coulda swore we set a $20 limit... Um.. thanks for the winter fur coat though. Enjoy your toaster.]
8) Gift in Your Name
[Hey. I wanted a gift I could hold. Not a damn star or a donation to a child in Africa. If I wanted to do that, I would have done that myself.]
7) Music/DVD
[Unless you talk the person on the regular, chances are they got you music or a movie you don't like... or already have. Regift?]
6) A Book
[Chances are you're a typical American who doesn't read unless they have to. But your black radical uncle (me in the future) wants you to feel empowered and wants you to recieve the best gift of all... an education. "Nigga, I wanted an Xbox, not X the book."]
5) Homemade gifts from a kid
[While it's cute and all, unless you're their parent, chances are you'll just put it in a pile somewhere. Have fun diggin it out when the kid visits you asks where your gift is.]
4) Soaps/Fragencies
[Guys, while you know your lady likes to smell good, chances are you'll get them the wrong kind or you'll offend them. "You tryna say I smell bad?!" Guess who's on the couch?]
3) Clothes
[Either they don't fit or it's not your style. Why can't people allow people to dress themselves?]
2) Homemade gifts from a grown up
[Dawg... you got a job. We said we were gonna exchange gifts. So why I get you DVDs of your fav show and you give me a paper crane you learned how to make from the how-to origami book I gave you last year?!]
1) IOUs or no gift at all
[You know what? I ain't even gonna be tight. I'm just gonna smile in yo face. And pull the same to you next year. "What comes around goes back around. I thought I told ya. Yeah." Thanks JT. Haha]
Haahaha. I crack myself up.
Hope you haven't bought this for anyone.
If you have... you still have 3 days left to chance that.
Haha
Word.
I've decided to make this weeks posts slighly Christmas themed.
So today's, we have top 10 reasons to fake liking a gift.
In truth, the top 10 will be kinds of gift.
In any case, enjoy.
10) A Gift Card
[You woulda been better off giving me cold cash. What I need a $50 gift card to American Eagle for? I'm a strictly Abercrombie moose kid!]
9) Something Expensive
[Coulda swore we set a $20 limit... Um.. thanks for the winter fur coat though. Enjoy your toaster.]
8) Gift in Your Name
[Hey. I wanted a gift I could hold. Not a damn star or a donation to a child in Africa. If I wanted to do that, I would have done that myself.]
7) Music/DVD
[Unless you talk the person on the regular, chances are they got you music or a movie you don't like... or already have. Regift?]
6) A Book
[Chances are you're a typical American who doesn't read unless they have to. But your black radical uncle (me in the future) wants you to feel empowered and wants you to recieve the best gift of all... an education. "Nigga, I wanted an Xbox, not X the book."]
5) Homemade gifts from a kid
[While it's cute and all, unless you're their parent, chances are you'll just put it in a pile somewhere. Have fun diggin it out when the kid visits you asks where your gift is.]
4) Soaps/Fragencies
[Guys, while you know your lady likes to smell good, chances are you'll get them the wrong kind or you'll offend them. "You tryna say I smell bad?!" Guess who's on the couch?]
3) Clothes
[Either they don't fit or it's not your style. Why can't people allow people to dress themselves?]
2) Homemade gifts from a grown up
[Dawg... you got a job. We said we were gonna exchange gifts. So why I get you DVDs of your fav show and you give me a paper crane you learned how to make from the how-to origami book I gave you last year?!]
1) IOUs or no gift at all
[You know what? I ain't even gonna be tight. I'm just gonna smile in yo face. And pull the same to you next year. "What comes around goes back around. I thought I told ya. Yeah." Thanks JT. Haha]
Haahaha. I crack myself up.
Hope you haven't bought this for anyone.
If you have... you still have 3 days left to chance that.
Haha
Word.
December 19, 2009
Failure to Launch
Welcome to a special Saturday edition of the Wacko Monologues.
This is the first post live from the new Facebook page
and also the first post I've written since finals started.
Well...this one is a personal story and a vent.
Okay, so I had a train at 9am today.
I had arranged with my friend that he would take me to the station.
I knew it was gonna snow,
but Baltimore usually freak out over a lil bit.
So I figured everything would be fine this morning.
I wake up this morning,
and the snow is comin down like I'm in Jersey.
I get dressed quickand check to see if my train is still on.
It is.
However, my ride informs me his pops his comin to pick him up.
He said he'd ask his pops if he would take me,
but pops didn't want to go into the city.
OKay, fair enough.
I call a cab a 7:30.
By 8:30 it hadn't got here.
Obviously I wasn't makin the train.
So I called momdukes up.
She was mad of course,
we made new reservations.
I'm leavin on Wednesday now.
One of very few still on campus.
Why a train so late in the week, you ask?
Mom wanted to make sure I could get to the station,
and since I didn't "call the cab company early enough"
she wanted to make sure it was clear enough for me to get there.
I got a call at 10:44am.
It was the cab company callin SEEING if I still needed a cab.
>.>
...Damn. Even if I had called them at... 6,
they woulda got here when the train was pullin off.
Baltimore, ya'll gotta learn how to operate in the snow.
But yeah...
now I'm stuck on campus
,and I have to pay momz back for the new ticket. :-/
I wasn't plannin on buy a train ticket for Christmas.
Luckily, a few peeps are still around.
So I'll hang with them today,
but I'm sure most will be gone by Monday
.Sigh. C'est la vie.
I swear,
if I added some fictional elements to this,
it could make a nice short story.
Maybe one day.
Word.
This is the first post live from the new Facebook page
and also the first post I've written since finals started.
Well...this one is a personal story and a vent.
Okay, so I had a train at 9am today.
I had arranged with my friend that he would take me to the station.
I knew it was gonna snow,
but Baltimore usually freak out over a lil bit.
So I figured everything would be fine this morning.
I wake up this morning,
and the snow is comin down like I'm in Jersey.
I get dressed quickand check to see if my train is still on.
It is.
However, my ride informs me his pops his comin to pick him up.
He said he'd ask his pops if he would take me,
but pops didn't want to go into the city.
OKay, fair enough.
I call a cab a 7:30.
By 8:30 it hadn't got here.
Obviously I wasn't makin the train.
So I called momdukes up.
She was mad of course,
we made new reservations.
I'm leavin on Wednesday now.
One of very few still on campus.
Why a train so late in the week, you ask?
Mom wanted to make sure I could get to the station,
and since I didn't "call the cab company early enough"
she wanted to make sure it was clear enough for me to get there.
I got a call at 10:44am.
It was the cab company callin SEEING if I still needed a cab.
>.>
...Damn. Even if I had called them at... 6,
they woulda got here when the train was pullin off.
Baltimore, ya'll gotta learn how to operate in the snow.
But yeah...
now I'm stuck on campus
,and I have to pay momz back for the new ticket. :-/
I wasn't plannin on buy a train ticket for Christmas.
Luckily, a few peeps are still around.
So I'll hang with them today,
but I'm sure most will be gone by Monday
.Sigh. C'est la vie.
I swear,
if I added some fictional elements to this,
it could make a nice short story.
Maybe one day.
Word.
December 8, 2009
The Blogger Revolution
Quite a few of my friends have started blogs recently.
It interesting to see what they have to say.
But it has me thinking...
this is the age of the bloggers.
I mean, it makes sense.
The computer and internet
has made everything,
and I mean everything,
readily available.
And our generation,
the now generation as my good friend calls us,
has adapted best to this availability.
With the rise of blogs on sites like
blogger, tumblr, wordpress, and even some independent sites,
everyone seems to have something to say.
Some are deal with fashion and it's latest trends,
keeping us all hot in the streets.
Some keep their ears to the speakers,
letting us know what's poppin in the music scene.
Some follow celebrities,
keeping us posted on their latest doings.
While others simple talk about their lives
or their opinion on different issues.
But this rise slightly worries me.
It makes me wonder if this is all just the latest fad,
having a website that you can kind of call your own,
where you say what you wanna say,
so off that you can actually say something of relevance.
That any kid with too much time on their hands starts a blog out od boredom.
I hope that this is not the case.
Now, I'm not coming at anyone in particular.
If anything, I coming at myself.
Cause I sure enough started the Wacko Monologues
because I had nothing else going on in my life.
Yet, even as I become busier,
I still blog on the regular.
It's only when I become less active
that I write less.
So,
may the blogger revloution march on.
May we bloggers grow in number.
And may we all prosper and spread our views in harmony.
Word.
P.S.
Check out a few of my fellow bloggers over there ->
They don't all post as frequently as I do,
but they have some good stuff to say.
It interesting to see what they have to say.
But it has me thinking...
this is the age of the bloggers.
I mean, it makes sense.
The computer and internet
has made everything,
and I mean everything,
readily available.
And our generation,
the now generation as my good friend calls us,
has adapted best to this availability.
With the rise of blogs on sites like
blogger, tumblr, wordpress, and even some independent sites,
everyone seems to have something to say.
Some are deal with fashion and it's latest trends,
keeping us all hot in the streets.
Some keep their ears to the speakers,
letting us know what's poppin in the music scene.
Some follow celebrities,
keeping us posted on their latest doings.
While others simple talk about their lives
or their opinion on different issues.
But this rise slightly worries me.
It makes me wonder if this is all just the latest fad,
having a website that you can kind of call your own,
where you say what you wanna say,
so off that you can actually say something of relevance.
That any kid with too much time on their hands starts a blog out od boredom.
I hope that this is not the case.
Now, I'm not coming at anyone in particular.
If anything, I coming at myself.
Cause I sure enough started the Wacko Monologues
because I had nothing else going on in my life.
Yet, even as I become busier,
I still blog on the regular.
It's only when I become less active
that I write less.
So,
may the blogger revloution march on.
May we bloggers grow in number.
And may we all prosper and spread our views in harmony.
Word.
P.S.
Check out a few of my fellow bloggers over there ->
They don't all post as frequently as I do,
but they have some good stuff to say.
December 7, 2009
Top 10 Reasons, EP4
I've been thinking of a few things for this week's edition,
but they either felt forced or it just wasn't the right time for them.
But I think I've finally landed on one.
This week's edition: To Stay in Bed
Because waking up is overrated.
10) Slept the wrong way.
[I'll just lay here until my leg decided to wake up too.]
9) You don't do mornings.
[You might as well be a vampire, cause the sun is not your friend.]
8) Sleep medication too effective.
[Maybe taking four Ambien was too much.]
7) Damn homework.
[You stayed up allnight, you deserve a few extra winks.]
6) You're roommate hasn't left yet.
[No need to get up yet if they're still in the shower, right?]
5) You like your alarm clock.
[Especially since it's your phone's ringtones. Lauryn Hill's To Zion? I'll sleep to that!]
4) You're sick.
[Unless I have to expel something, my body ain't budgin.]
3) You don't wanna go to school/work.
[130 days outta 135 is good enough, right? Cool. zzZZzz.]
2) That certain someone from last night is still in your bed.
[Why can't they catch a hint? Is literally kickin them slowly out of bed not effective enough?]
1) Intense dreaming in progress.
[Dreams should never be interrupted. Never!]
Have a Top 10 Reasons you want me to run down?
Obv, just let me know.
I'll prob be open to it.
Word.
but they either felt forced or it just wasn't the right time for them.
But I think I've finally landed on one.
This week's edition: To Stay in Bed
Because waking up is overrated.
10) Slept the wrong way.
[I'll just lay here until my leg decided to wake up too.]
9) You don't do mornings.
[You might as well be a vampire, cause the sun is not your friend.]
8) Sleep medication too effective.
[Maybe taking four Ambien was too much.]
7) Damn homework.
[You stayed up allnight, you deserve a few extra winks.]
6) You're roommate hasn't left yet.
[No need to get up yet if they're still in the shower, right?]
5) You like your alarm clock.
[Especially since it's your phone's ringtones. Lauryn Hill's To Zion? I'll sleep to that!]
4) You're sick.
[Unless I have to expel something, my body ain't budgin.]
3) You don't wanna go to school/work.
[130 days outta 135 is good enough, right? Cool. zzZZzz.]
2) That certain someone from last night is still in your bed.
[Why can't they catch a hint? Is literally kickin them slowly out of bed not effective enough?]
1) Intense dreaming in progress.
[Dreams should never be interrupted. Never!]
Have a Top 10 Reasons you want me to run down?
Obv, just let me know.
I'll prob be open to it.
Word.
December 4, 2009
The Toilet Seat Theory
I forget when, where, and who,
but a female friend was complaining about how guys leave the seat up after they go to the bath room.
You know, cause sometimes they don't look, so sometimes they fall in... .
..and nobody wants to touch toilet water in any way possible.
She explained that by probability,
the down position is the most reasonable start.
Because men only stand to piss, but sit to shit, a
nd women both pee and poop while sitting. [
Yes. Believe or not, they do dodo. Haha
Remember that one book, guys: Everybody Poops.]
That's a 3 to 1 ratio for the toilet seat being down.
She then went on to say
how her father complained about the toilet paper
running out faster when she came home from college.
It's her, her parents and a sister.
3 of those people are constantly using the TP when in the bathroom.
So yes, it makes sense that it would run out faster.
Seeing this, I proposed a theory or hypothesis if you prefer.
Regarding chromosomes,
you know how guys have a X and a Y
and the gals have two Xs.
Well, consider this:
Women
X - #1 - seat down - toilet paper used
X - #2 - seat down - toilet paper used
Men
X - #2 - seat down - toilet paper used
Y - #1 - seat up - toilet paper not used
I thought I was quite clever when I came up with this.
So, yes it all makes sense.
The seat should be left down,
or at least put back to that position.
But then, why is this often not followed?
Because.. well, men can be a little self-centered sometimes.
It's just more convienent. We piss more than we shit.
In a sense, sad to say,
men have to be trained.
That's how my mother did me.
She said if I didn't put it down I was in trouble.
It also helped that the seat was too padded to leave up,
it would fall down while I was peeing.
I would have to hold it up with a my hand or knee.
But I still needed a hold open the zipper and aim too.
It was difficult.
So much so that... yes...
I said fuck it and just pissed sitting down.
That's right I said it.
I piss sitting down... sometimes.
Not all the time, I'm growing out of it. Haha
What? I ain't feel like getting yelled at for peeing on the seat,
cause back then I was reckless and would leave it.
Once again, I've been trained to clean it up.
So women,
if you want your man to put the damn seat down,
slowly explain my theory to him,
how it's just easier for everyone,
and have a punishment in place if he doesn't comply.
Word.
but a female friend was complaining about how guys leave the seat up after they go to the bath room.
You know, cause sometimes they don't look, so sometimes they fall in... .
..and nobody wants to touch toilet water in any way possible.
She explained that by probability,
the down position is the most reasonable start.
Because men only stand to piss, but sit to shit, a
nd women both pee and poop while sitting. [
Yes. Believe or not, they do dodo. Haha
Remember that one book, guys: Everybody Poops.]
That's a 3 to 1 ratio for the toilet seat being down.
She then went on to say
how her father complained about the toilet paper
running out faster when she came home from college.
It's her, her parents and a sister.
3 of those people are constantly using the TP when in the bathroom.
So yes, it makes sense that it would run out faster.
Seeing this, I proposed a theory or hypothesis if you prefer.
Regarding chromosomes,
you know how guys have a X and a Y
and the gals have two Xs.
Well, consider this:
Women
X - #1 - seat down - toilet paper used
X - #2 - seat down - toilet paper used
Men
X - #2 - seat down - toilet paper used
Y - #1 - seat up - toilet paper not used
I thought I was quite clever when I came up with this.
So, yes it all makes sense.
The seat should be left down,
or at least put back to that position.
But then, why is this often not followed?
Because.. well, men can be a little self-centered sometimes.
It's just more convienent. We piss more than we shit.
In a sense, sad to say,
men have to be trained.
That's how my mother did me.
She said if I didn't put it down I was in trouble.
It also helped that the seat was too padded to leave up,
it would fall down while I was peeing.
I would have to hold it up with a my hand or knee.
But I still needed a hold open the zipper and aim too.
It was difficult.
So much so that... yes...
I said fuck it and just pissed sitting down.
That's right I said it.
I piss sitting down... sometimes.
Not all the time, I'm growing out of it. Haha
What? I ain't feel like getting yelled at for peeing on the seat,
cause back then I was reckless and would leave it.
Once again, I've been trained to clean it up.
So women,
if you want your man to put the damn seat down,
slowly explain my theory to him,
how it's just easier for everyone,
and have a punishment in place if he doesn't comply.
Word.
December 3, 2009
Dumb Products
As seen on TV,
you know em,
you wonder why the fuck they exist,
and you laugh about them uncontrollably.
The Snuggie
The blanket with sleeves!
Also known as the backwards robe.
The commercial is hilarious.
Especially when there's just a mob of people
at a football game in them.
If they weren't different colors,
I woulda thought they was the Klan.
Matter a fact... maybe they the gay chapter.
It could happen. Haha.
The straw that broke the camel's back
was when I heard they had it for dogs too.
Really though?
White people will buy anything, I swear.
Do you know the band Weezer is actually
in an edition of the commercial?
Legit. And you get a free copy of their new CD when you buy a snuggie.
Some bands just love to whore themselves.
But if you do buy it, I suggest the leopard print one. Haha
The Shake Weight
Oh My Gawd.
I died laughing when I first saw it.
Basically it's this dumbbell that you shake back and forth with both arms.
This product is for the ladies.
But.. the commercial....
It makes them look like they giving a handjob!
Did the marketers not realize this?
Or maybe they just thought the joke would make people buy it.
Yeah, that's a real workout for the forearms.
I'm sure those women make their men extremely happy.
Recently, no lie,
there's a commercial advertising it to men.
Even to me, I had to exclaim "Gaaaayyy!!!"
You have to see it.
Those are the two stand out products that come to mind right now.
But if I think of anymore, I'll add them.
Feel free to suggest some too.
I always enjoy a good laugh.
Word.
you know em,
you wonder why the fuck they exist,
and you laugh about them uncontrollably.
The Snuggie
The blanket with sleeves!
Also known as the backwards robe.
The commercial is hilarious.
Especially when there's just a mob of people
at a football game in them.
If they weren't different colors,
I woulda thought they was the Klan.
Matter a fact... maybe they the gay chapter.
It could happen. Haha.
The straw that broke the camel's back
was when I heard they had it for dogs too.
Really though?
White people will buy anything, I swear.
Do you know the band Weezer is actually
in an edition of the commercial?
Legit. And you get a free copy of their new CD when you buy a snuggie.
Some bands just love to whore themselves.
But if you do buy it, I suggest the leopard print one. Haha
The Shake Weight
Oh My Gawd.
I died laughing when I first saw it.
Basically it's this dumbbell that you shake back and forth with both arms.
This product is for the ladies.
But.. the commercial....
It makes them look like they giving a handjob!
Did the marketers not realize this?
Or maybe they just thought the joke would make people buy it.
Yeah, that's a real workout for the forearms.
I'm sure those women make their men extremely happy.
Recently, no lie,
there's a commercial advertising it to men.
Even to me, I had to exclaim "Gaaaayyy!!!"
You have to see it.
Those are the two stand out products that come to mind right now.
But if I think of anymore, I'll add them.
Feel free to suggest some too.
I always enjoy a good laugh.
Word.
December 2, 2009
What's War to Me?
Warning: this post comes from a completely ignonart stance.
I do not know the facts.
I am goin from overviews and hearsay.
Said, but true.
So, remember when I said I was gonna start with the current events?
Well, this is one of em.
So, here's what I know
.Obama is planning on sending 30,000 to Afghanstan,
thus tripling the troops over there when he first got in office.
Um... I thought he was tryna pull em out?
Is this like some weird math equation?
By adding 30,000 to x amount of current soldiers for y amount of time it equals zero troops in z months?
"We must reverse the Taliban's momentum. ... And we must strengthen the capacity of Afghanistan's security forces and government." -Obama
But um... shouldn't we let them worry about that themselves?
They're a developing nation.
They can handle themselves.
If not, the UN can step in with their... army? Never mind.
But you know,
as ignorant as I may be about this war (or these wars),
I don't think my generation know much more than I do.
I hope I'm wrong, but I don't know.
I was in my theology class today,and for some reason we were discussing the war in Iraq.
We were going through some of the criteria for just causes of war.
The teacher picked out like 5, and we had to agrue if the US checked yes or no in each category.
The yes side seemed to fill up fast.but the no time took more thought.
And the yes answers were vague at that.
It kinda scared me.
We're informed enough to know why we're over there,
but not enought to legitamently agrue against it.
It got me to thinking,
what if I got drafted?
The thought never came to mind.
The middle east is far away.
And I never considered myself a legit candidate to go over there.
Never even thought I'd know anyone over there.
But fact is, I have a few high school friends in the service.
And my sister is in the Air Force.
I guess things are just starting to become real to me.
And to think it only took 8 years or so for it to hit.
[But if I do get drafted, I'm punking out.
Sorry. Me write; me no fight. Haha.
I'd make my asthma act up something vicious.]
But yeah,
with all this said,
I'll def be paying more attention to what's goin on overseas.
Actually start listening to the reasons
instead of just being against it from the jump.
Cause that's just ignorant...
isn't it?
Word.
I do not know the facts.
I am goin from overviews and hearsay.
Said, but true.
So, remember when I said I was gonna start with the current events?
Well, this is one of em.
So, here's what I know
.Obama is planning on sending 30,000 to Afghanstan,
thus tripling the troops over there when he first got in office.
Um... I thought he was tryna pull em out?
Is this like some weird math equation?
By adding 30,000 to x amount of current soldiers for y amount of time it equals zero troops in z months?
"We must reverse the Taliban's momentum. ... And we must strengthen the capacity of Afghanistan's security forces and government." -Obama
But um... shouldn't we let them worry about that themselves?
They're a developing nation.
They can handle themselves.
If not, the UN can step in with their... army? Never mind.
But you know,
as ignorant as I may be about this war (or these wars),
I don't think my generation know much more than I do.
I hope I'm wrong, but I don't know.
I was in my theology class today,and for some reason we were discussing the war in Iraq.
We were going through some of the criteria for just causes of war.
The teacher picked out like 5, and we had to agrue if the US checked yes or no in each category.
The yes side seemed to fill up fast.but the no time took more thought.
And the yes answers were vague at that.
It kinda scared me.
We're informed enough to know why we're over there,
but not enought to legitamently agrue against it.
It got me to thinking,
what if I got drafted?
The thought never came to mind.
The middle east is far away.
And I never considered myself a legit candidate to go over there.
Never even thought I'd know anyone over there.
But fact is, I have a few high school friends in the service.
And my sister is in the Air Force.
I guess things are just starting to become real to me.
And to think it only took 8 years or so for it to hit.
[But if I do get drafted, I'm punking out.
Sorry. Me write; me no fight. Haha.
I'd make my asthma act up something vicious.]
But yeah,
with all this said,
I'll def be paying more attention to what's goin on overseas.
Actually start listening to the reasons
instead of just being against it from the jump.
Cause that's just ignorant...
isn't it?
Word.
November 30, 2009
Top 10 Reasons, EP3
Yeah, I think it gonna be come a weekly thing,
prob every Monday.
This week: Why We Procrastinate
With Finals upon us soon, it only makes sense.
10) It's only a quiz.
[It's not like it actually counts towards my grade... that much.]
9) You can't concentrate under these conditions.
[I would go to the library but it's too quiet. And my room's too loud. Oh well, nowhere to go.]
8) Youze hungry.
[No one can focus when the stomach requests attention.]
7) Tomorrow's better.
["Why put off until tomorrow what you can do today?" Because I can, bizzach.]
6) TV time.
[Wait...It's Monday? Shiiiit, Love of Ray J come on tonight.]
5) Your room is dirty.
[Cleanliness is next to Godliness. So is Cosbyness. So clean your room, or there will be no chocolate pudding for you! Gwa-hahaha.]
4) You already got the outline.
[I got the gist of it. The rest will fall into place.... all by itself... without me even typing it.]
3) It's party time.
[Come on, b. It's Saturday. You seriously expected me to stay in? Ha!]
2) The mate beckons.
[GF/BF or booty call. Sometimes sex or even a long makeout session just trumps gettin ya learn on.]
1) You forgot.
[Wait.... what you mean the Spanish compostion if do next class? Class is in 45 minutes! Grrr.]
And as always,
you end up on Facebook.
Also, a quick shout out to me manz, Sean Rogers.
He one of the main reasons I procrastinate
cause he be having me online, dying.
But in related news, he just started his own blog as well.
http://perceptivedeception.blogspot.com/
Check him out. He only got one post so far...
but he does poetry and opinions.
Until later, my friends [and associates].
Word.
prob every Monday.
This week: Why We Procrastinate
With Finals upon us soon, it only makes sense.
10) It's only a quiz.
[It's not like it actually counts towards my grade... that much.]
9) You can't concentrate under these conditions.
[I would go to the library but it's too quiet. And my room's too loud. Oh well, nowhere to go.]
8) Youze hungry.
[No one can focus when the stomach requests attention.]
7) Tomorrow's better.
["Why put off until tomorrow what you can do today?" Because I can, bizzach.]
6) TV time.
[Wait...It's Monday? Shiiiit, Love of Ray J come on tonight.]
5) Your room is dirty.
[Cleanliness is next to Godliness. So is Cosbyness. So clean your room, or there will be no chocolate pudding for you! Gwa-hahaha.]
4) You already got the outline.
[I got the gist of it. The rest will fall into place.... all by itself... without me even typing it.]
3) It's party time.
[Come on, b. It's Saturday. You seriously expected me to stay in? Ha!]
2) The mate beckons.
[GF/BF or booty call. Sometimes sex or even a long makeout session just trumps gettin ya learn on.]
1) You forgot.
[Wait.... what you mean the Spanish compostion if do next class? Class is in 45 minutes! Grrr.]
And as always,
you end up on Facebook.
Also, a quick shout out to me manz, Sean Rogers.
He one of the main reasons I procrastinate
cause he be having me online, dying.
But in related news, he just started his own blog as well.
http://perceptivedeception.blogspot.com/
Check him out. He only got one post so far...
but he does poetry and opinions.
Until later, my friends [and associates].
Word.
November 26, 2009
What I'm Thankful For, The Rehearsal
With Thanksgiving being today,
everyone is expected to say what we're thankful for
around the table before we can destroy the food.
I've decided to write this blog for two reasons:
1) I always freeze up and say something dumb.
2) I don't want to mess up and let something slip.
See, I don't tell my fam much,
especially my extended family,
cause they don't need to know.
Granted, this Thanksgiving it's just
me, mom, her parents, and maybe two other folks.
So if I let something slip like,
oooh... my sexuality, which only my mother knows about.
Not that I'd say it during the thanks,
but maybe in conversation.
there ain't gonna be nothing else to take the focus of me. Haha
So, with that said,
allow me to present my prepared "I'm Thankful For."
Hi family. Hi Lord.
This Thanksgiving, I have plenty to be thankful for.
I'm thankful to have the education I'm recieving,
for my writing, that I have a way to voice my opinions,
to be privileged enough to not have any major struggles in my life,
and to have such good friends and family as support system when I need them.
Now who's next?
Feel free to leave you prepared thanks in the comments.
Have a good turkey day.
Word.
everyone is expected to say what we're thankful for
around the table before we can destroy the food.
I've decided to write this blog for two reasons:
1) I always freeze up and say something dumb.
2) I don't want to mess up and let something slip.
See, I don't tell my fam much,
especially my extended family,
cause they don't need to know.
Granted, this Thanksgiving it's just
me, mom, her parents, and maybe two other folks.
So if I let something slip like,
oooh... my sexuality, which only my mother knows about.
Not that I'd say it during the thanks,
but maybe in conversation.
there ain't gonna be nothing else to take the focus of me. Haha
So, with that said,
allow me to present my prepared "I'm Thankful For."
Hi family. Hi Lord.
This Thanksgiving, I have plenty to be thankful for.
I'm thankful to have the education I'm recieving,
for my writing, that I have a way to voice my opinions,
to be privileged enough to not have any major struggles in my life,
and to have such good friends and family as support system when I need them.
Now who's next?
Feel free to leave you prepared thanks in the comments.
Have a good turkey day.
Word.
November 25, 2009
Hood Housing
As a few of you know,
I haven't really been back in Jersey since April.
Sure, I came back for the weekend of Pride in June,
but I was in NYC the whole time.
Well... it's Thanksgiving break,
and where else could I go but home?
Let me just say... Loyola has severely spoiled me.
I feel like more of an uppity negro than I ever have before.
The first thing that hit me was the availability of a computer.
Usually when I come back from college,
I go to Irvington and use my father's computer...
but the internet is acting up on it.
Luckily, I have my laptop here...
But a nigga couldn't get a signal.
Well, as you see I found one.
It's weak as all hell though, cause I'm stealing that shit. Haha
Where's Houndnet when you need it?
Secondly is my freedom.
I can do whatever I want at college, obv.
But back here,my mom always keeps tabs on me.
But... last night,I stayed at my dad's.
However, I failed to remember that my bed is in his bedroom.
As I told Twitter last night:
"I don't like staying at my father's house. Especially when this nigga is my direct roommate. This ain't college! :-/"
Also, they're always over my shoulder when I'm in the house.
Gets a lil annoying.
I woke up this morning though to feel all chilly and such.
I forgot I can't control the heat.
Ain't no thermostats at my pops's place.
But why was the basement warmer than the 2nd floor when I woke up?
I thought heat rose?
Eventually the heat did come on.
With a hiss.
I looked around scared as shit
before realizing it was just the radiator.
Good ol hood heat. :-/
Eventually,my laptop needed recharging.
You know I couldn't find a single wall socket with 3 prongs, only 2.
I was tight.
Least I found the one power strip with 3 prong outlets.
I was bout to be shit outta luck. Haha
The one thing I do like about my father's house though:
Tha Bassment.
No not basement, Tha Bassment.
Cause we got a banging sound system down there,
and all the walls are covered with old school records,
mostly R&B and Soul.
My grandfather owned a record shop back in the day.
Told you love a music ran in the family, man.
But of course, I got hungry.
But ain't no food in the house,
except for the stuff for Thanksgiving tomorrow.
So I had to run out to the bodega.
Ah, how I missed the bodega.
But discussing of this is for another day.
Maybe tomorrow before the feast?
Luckily,
I'm bout to go back over to my momz in Newark.
We kinda bougie over there. Haha.
Later, hood house.
Til I see you again on Sunday when I'm bout to leave out.
Word.
I haven't really been back in Jersey since April.
Sure, I came back for the weekend of Pride in June,
but I was in NYC the whole time.
Well... it's Thanksgiving break,
and where else could I go but home?
Let me just say... Loyola has severely spoiled me.
I feel like more of an uppity negro than I ever have before.
The first thing that hit me was the availability of a computer.
Usually when I come back from college,
I go to Irvington and use my father's computer...
but the internet is acting up on it.
Luckily, I have my laptop here...
But a nigga couldn't get a signal.
Well, as you see I found one.
It's weak as all hell though, cause I'm stealing that shit. Haha
Where's Houndnet when you need it?
Secondly is my freedom.
I can do whatever I want at college, obv.
But back here,my mom always keeps tabs on me.
But... last night,I stayed at my dad's.
However, I failed to remember that my bed is in his bedroom.
As I told Twitter last night:
"I don't like staying at my father's house. Especially when this nigga is my direct roommate. This ain't college! :-/"
Also, they're always over my shoulder when I'm in the house.
Gets a lil annoying.
I woke up this morning though to feel all chilly and such.
I forgot I can't control the heat.
Ain't no thermostats at my pops's place.
But why was the basement warmer than the 2nd floor when I woke up?
I thought heat rose?
Eventually the heat did come on.
With a hiss.
I looked around scared as shit
before realizing it was just the radiator.
Good ol hood heat. :-/
Eventually,my laptop needed recharging.
You know I couldn't find a single wall socket with 3 prongs, only 2.
I was tight.
Least I found the one power strip with 3 prong outlets.
I was bout to be shit outta luck. Haha
The one thing I do like about my father's house though:
Tha Bassment.
No not basement, Tha Bassment.
Cause we got a banging sound system down there,
and all the walls are covered with old school records,
mostly R&B and Soul.
My grandfather owned a record shop back in the day.
Told you love a music ran in the family, man.
But of course, I got hungry.
But ain't no food in the house,
except for the stuff for Thanksgiving tomorrow.
So I had to run out to the bodega.
Ah, how I missed the bodega.
But discussing of this is for another day.
Maybe tomorrow before the feast?
Luckily,
I'm bout to go back over to my momz in Newark.
We kinda bougie over there. Haha.
Later, hood house.
Til I see you again on Sunday when I'm bout to leave out.
Word.
November 23, 2009
Top 10 Reasons, EP2
Kehehe. In today's edition of Top 10 Reasons,
I'll be counting down Why You Don't Wanna Remember the Weekend.
It's only appropiate, since today is monday. Haha.
10) You payed way too much for that cab ride.
[Maybe if you spoke the cabbie's native tongue you coulda got him to lower flat rate or to not run his Speedy Gonzales meter.]
9) While playing Never Have I Ever, you're dark past got the best of you.
[I was gonna put something really explicit here, but I like to think I have some class. Haha]
8) You stayed home last night only to hear tales of epicness the following morning.
[Damn you, Biology test! I could have seen a midget pimp riding one of his employees down the street like he was a jockey.]
7) You ran into your ex and ended up making out with them at the end of the night.
[Now they won't stop callin and textin you. Look, it was only a booty call!]
6) You got thrown out of the bar before closing.
[If only you hadn't knocked over every single bottle when you found yourself behind the bar, making free drinks for everyone.]
5) You sucked at pong and ran a naked lap.
[Now everyone knows about that mole on your butt. Ick.]
4) You say someone you've been crushing on and ended up throwing up all over them as soon as the first word came outta your mouth.
[Well... at least your liquid courage got them to realize you're a person on God's green Earth. Now you're just that gross kid who puked on them.]
3) You kissed a girl/guy, and you liked it.
[I mean, it may not be what you're used to. But you're bout to become real accustomed with it.]
2) You got written up for that house party.
[When the cops came a knocking, I hope you weren't the one that jumped out the window.]
1) "Wait? ...There was a last night?" You blacked out bastard.
[The ultimate way to make sure you forget last night. Now, to avoid your chatty friends.]
Runners up:
After buying her all those drinks, she still went home with her friends.
Your liquid courage never kicked.
Now for a completely change in pace,
about my solo this past weekend. Haha.
It went well.
Nervousness didn't hit until I was right up in front of everyone.
Some how I got through it.
I didn't sing the whole thing,
the director sung the second half.
But I like to think I provide background vocals for him. Haha.
But no, the spirit really started moving during that song though.
It def lasted longer than we rehearsed it,
but that's how God works sometimes.
Anyway,
that's been my weekend.
Hope you enjoyed yours as well.
Word.
I'll be counting down Why You Don't Wanna Remember the Weekend.
It's only appropiate, since today is monday. Haha.
10) You payed way too much for that cab ride.
[Maybe if you spoke the cabbie's native tongue you coulda got him to lower flat rate or to not run his Speedy Gonzales meter.]
9) While playing Never Have I Ever, you're dark past got the best of you.
[I was gonna put something really explicit here, but I like to think I have some class. Haha]
8) You stayed home last night only to hear tales of epicness the following morning.
[Damn you, Biology test! I could have seen a midget pimp riding one of his employees down the street like he was a jockey.]
7) You ran into your ex and ended up making out with them at the end of the night.
[Now they won't stop callin and textin you. Look, it was only a booty call!]
6) You got thrown out of the bar before closing.
[If only you hadn't knocked over every single bottle when you found yourself behind the bar, making free drinks for everyone.]
5) You sucked at pong and ran a naked lap.
[Now everyone knows about that mole on your butt. Ick.]
4) You say someone you've been crushing on and ended up throwing up all over them as soon as the first word came outta your mouth.
[Well... at least your liquid courage got them to realize you're a person on God's green Earth. Now you're just that gross kid who puked on them.]
3) You kissed a girl/guy, and you liked it.
[I mean, it may not be what you're used to. But you're bout to become real accustomed with it.]
2) You got written up for that house party.
[When the cops came a knocking, I hope you weren't the one that jumped out the window.]
1) "Wait? ...There was a last night?" You blacked out bastard.
[The ultimate way to make sure you forget last night. Now, to avoid your chatty friends.]
Runners up:
After buying her all those drinks, she still went home with her friends.
Your liquid courage never kicked.
Now for a completely change in pace,
about my solo this past weekend. Haha.
It went well.
Nervousness didn't hit until I was right up in front of everyone.
Some how I got through it.
I didn't sing the whole thing,
the director sung the second half.
But I like to think I provide background vocals for him. Haha.
But no, the spirit really started moving during that song though.
It def lasted longer than we rehearsed it,
but that's how God works sometimes.
Anyway,
that's been my weekend.
Hope you enjoyed yours as well.
Word.
November 20, 2009
Solo Singin'
So...
I may be singing a solo.
What of it? Big woop.
Wanna fight about it?
haha.
But yeah,
I'm singing a solo for the Gospel Choir here at Loyola tomorrow.
You know... the concert in the chapel at 7 tomorrow?
The one that's been advertised,
but you probably ignored it just like all the other posters on campus.
Yeah, that one.
Come out and hear the choir singing.
We got mad other choirs coming too.
And a free reception. ;-) [Reception. Not dinner. Haha]
It'll be a great night of fellowship.
But enough of the shameless promotion.
I'm here today to talk about singing a solo.
Now, I've done it before.
But that was at my church back in the day.
You can sing like crap and they'll still be like,
"Go head, baby." "Oh bless your heart." "You better sing, child!"
But now that I'm singing alone for real for real...
There's actual pressure now.
You know like,
you can't just fudge the words like you might in an ensemble.
You gotta know them words!
And the notes... ooo-wee.
If you a half step off... you just feel bad.
The audience might not notice, but you will.
And so will your accompanyment.
And don't start off in the wrong key!
Auh! That happened to me when I auditioned for Chicago.
It was already bad enough I'm a baritone/bass.
I started off wrong and couldn't fix it.
I was like, "Well, I'm not in this show," as I walked off.
Haha
But speaking of baritones and basses.
Do you know how hard it is for us to shine?
We get grouped in with the tenors on gospel songs,
having to sing them notes that's in our head voices. Haha.
And even if we do get a bass part, it's usual some background ish,
you know, the tempo or something.
I don't know, it's not all bad.
It's real fun hitting them low low notes. Haha.
But yeah,
I heard the song and was like,
"Hey. I can do that. That I can do!" [This would a Chorus Line reference. Come on! Get it together, dear listeners.]
Now, there are some high notes for me,
that would be no prob for a tenor or someone else.
But I see this song as a challenge.
I've been expanding my range these pass few years.
It's time to see just how well I can do.
I suppose we'll find out tomorrow.
And for those of you who can't make it,
I'll report back on Monday with a small section on how it turned out.
Enjoy your weekend, folks.
Word.
I may be singing a solo.
What of it? Big woop.
Wanna fight about it?
haha.
But yeah,
I'm singing a solo for the Gospel Choir here at Loyola tomorrow.
You know... the concert in the chapel at 7 tomorrow?
The one that's been advertised,
but you probably ignored it just like all the other posters on campus.
Yeah, that one.
Come out and hear the choir singing.
We got mad other choirs coming too.
And a free reception. ;-) [Reception. Not dinner. Haha]
It'll be a great night of fellowship.
But enough of the shameless promotion.
I'm here today to talk about singing a solo.
Now, I've done it before.
But that was at my church back in the day.
You can sing like crap and they'll still be like,
"Go head, baby." "Oh bless your heart." "You better sing, child!"
But now that I'm singing alone for real for real...
There's actual pressure now.
You know like,
you can't just fudge the words like you might in an ensemble.
You gotta know them words!
And the notes... ooo-wee.
If you a half step off... you just feel bad.
The audience might not notice, but you will.
And so will your accompanyment.
And don't start off in the wrong key!
Auh! That happened to me when I auditioned for Chicago.
It was already bad enough I'm a baritone/bass.
I started off wrong and couldn't fix it.
I was like, "Well, I'm not in this show," as I walked off.
Haha
But speaking of baritones and basses.
Do you know how hard it is for us to shine?
We get grouped in with the tenors on gospel songs,
having to sing them notes that's in our head voices. Haha.
And even if we do get a bass part, it's usual some background ish,
you know, the tempo or something.
I don't know, it's not all bad.
It's real fun hitting them low low notes. Haha.
But yeah,
I heard the song and was like,
"Hey. I can do that. That I can do!" [This would a Chorus Line reference. Come on! Get it together, dear listeners.]
Now, there are some high notes for me,
that would be no prob for a tenor or someone else.
But I see this song as a challenge.
I've been expanding my range these pass few years.
It's time to see just how well I can do.
I suppose we'll find out tomorrow.
And for those of you who can't make it,
I'll report back on Monday with a small section on how it turned out.
Enjoy your weekend, folks.
Word.
November 19, 2009
What You Mean You Ain't Never Seen It?
You know how there are just something you are expected to know?
You know...
kinda like common knowledge.
And if you don't know it,
you just a disgrace to the race or to your friends.
For example,
some things that will get you a funny look if you say you don't know them if you black:
Dr. Martin Luther King
Miles Davis
Jay-Z
Boyz in the Hood [and other movies like that]
How to fry chicken [I'm joking. Gosh... Or am I?]
I bring this up today because
in the Minority Spot
we were watching TVand it ended up on BET [aka Black Evil Television].
However, it had Menace on. So we let it rock.
Then one of the more outspoken people in the room stood up and said
"If ya'll ain't never seen this movie, you ain't black," as a joke.
To his amazement people in the room had actually not seen the movie.
Even more to his amazement, I had not seen it.
He could only shake his head as he said,
"This is why I hate Loyola."
I tried to explain.
Of course I had channel surfed as a kid
and seen the movie on BET before,
but I always said "I ain't bout this right now."
It was all editted and shit anyway.
However, I do agree,
the movie is pivotable.
Black people should watch the movie.
I plan to watch it in full this weekend, prob Saturday.
[Hit me up if you tryna get down.]
When you don't have knowledge of things that are so common in your culture, you miss out.
It puts you at a disadvantage.
It can also make you somewhat of an outsider,
even take away a bit of your creditability.
I should know....I think I just had my black card revoked. :-/
Onward to retrieve it!
I'd hate to slowly have my skin turn a creamy shade.... or would I?
Word.
You know...
kinda like common knowledge.
And if you don't know it,
you just a disgrace to the race or to your friends.
For example,
some things that will get you a funny look if you say you don't know them if you black:
Dr. Martin Luther King
Miles Davis
Jay-Z
Boyz in the Hood [and other movies like that]
How to fry chicken [I'm joking. Gosh... Or am I?]
I bring this up today because
in the Minority Spot
we were watching TVand it ended up on BET [aka Black Evil Television].
However, it had Menace on. So we let it rock.
Then one of the more outspoken people in the room stood up and said
"If ya'll ain't never seen this movie, you ain't black," as a joke.
To his amazement people in the room had actually not seen the movie.
Even more to his amazement, I had not seen it.
He could only shake his head as he said,
"This is why I hate Loyola."
I tried to explain.
Of course I had channel surfed as a kid
and seen the movie on BET before,
but I always said "I ain't bout this right now."
It was all editted and shit anyway.
However, I do agree,
the movie is pivotable.
Black people should watch the movie.
I plan to watch it in full this weekend, prob Saturday.
[Hit me up if you tryna get down.]
When you don't have knowledge of things that are so common in your culture, you miss out.
It puts you at a disadvantage.
It can also make you somewhat of an outsider,
even take away a bit of your creditability.
I should know....I think I just had my black card revoked. :-/
Onward to retrieve it!
I'd hate to slowly have my skin turn a creamy shade.... or would I?
Word.
November 18, 2009
Gaga Over the Lady
You know,
when Lady Gaga first arrived on the scene,
I thought she was just another pop diva.
I didn't really pay attention to her.
She just had okay songs to me.
I thought she might just fade away.
Then she became more relevant.
That's when I just thought she was odd.
I heard her on the Wale "Chillin" track and said,
"Hmm... she's not all bad, but nothing special."
Now, I know.
All gays love her.
But I wasn't the one.
Even when she was at this year 's VMAs
and proclaimed "This one is for God and the gays."
I was just like, "Oh, that's nice."
But she did catch my attention that night.
Not just because of her crazy outfits,
which she had plenty to spare.
[Did ya'll see that fucking bird's nest around her hear, yo?!]
But because of her performance of "Paparazzi."
I had actually never heard the song before.
So as she sung and moved around the stage
I found myself captured, not wanting to look away.
The blood at the end was a bit much, yes,
but still some how I loved it.
Now she has this remix out with Beyonce.
Most of you have seen it. "Video Phone."
Some people hate it. Most people love it.
I must say, Gaga kept up with Sasha.
I had to give her props.
But Gaga didn't totally win me over until today, actually.
I was in the place where all us minorities gather here at Loyola.
I'll call it the Minority Spot from here on out and in other monologues.
It was particularly poppin today.
Lotta good people in there.
Someone said they hadn't seen the "Video Phone" video,
so someone put it up on the TV [which is connected to a computer as well.
Yes, we do it way big up in the Minority Spot.]
This soon led to watching other recent Beyonce videos.
Then the guy showing the videos decided to go back to Gaga.
[This was not before making a quick pit stop at Brandy singing in her bathroom to "Somewhere Over the Rainbow." She actually went in. Haha]
Anyway,
we watched "the Gaga" perform her hit songs,
just her on the piano in a room by herself.
I was able to hear her without all the other shit behind her,
no computerized voiced.
I must say... she can actually sing.
Her lyrics were also quite interesting.
But the main thing that caught me was just her.
Her personality.
She is quirky and socially awkward as all hell.
She just would just do weird funny shit with her voice during some parts in the song.
In one video, she actually put her leg up on the piano as she was playing.
I started dying.
Gotta admit,
I think I'm slowly becoming a fan.
I'm listening to her on imeem right now.
Drawing my final verdict.
I think I'm leaning towards the "yay" side over the "nay".
I mean,
as people say after listening to Gaga (for some reason),
I live!
Word.
when Lady Gaga first arrived on the scene,
I thought she was just another pop diva.
I didn't really pay attention to her.
She just had okay songs to me.
I thought she might just fade away.
Then she became more relevant.
That's when I just thought she was odd.
I heard her on the Wale "Chillin" track and said,
"Hmm... she's not all bad, but nothing special."
Now, I know.
All gays love her.
But I wasn't the one.
Even when she was at this year 's VMAs
and proclaimed "This one is for God and the gays."
I was just like, "Oh, that's nice."
But she did catch my attention that night.
Not just because of her crazy outfits,
which she had plenty to spare.
[Did ya'll see that fucking bird's nest around her hear, yo?!]
But because of her performance of "Paparazzi."
I had actually never heard the song before.
So as she sung and moved around the stage
I found myself captured, not wanting to look away.
The blood at the end was a bit much, yes,
but still some how I loved it.
Now she has this remix out with Beyonce.
Most of you have seen it. "Video Phone."
Some people hate it. Most people love it.
I must say, Gaga kept up with Sasha.
I had to give her props.
But Gaga didn't totally win me over until today, actually.
I was in the place where all us minorities gather here at Loyola.
I'll call it the Minority Spot from here on out and in other monologues.
It was particularly poppin today.
Lotta good people in there.
Someone said they hadn't seen the "Video Phone" video,
so someone put it up on the TV [which is connected to a computer as well.
Yes, we do it way big up in the Minority Spot.]
This soon led to watching other recent Beyonce videos.
Then the guy showing the videos decided to go back to Gaga.
[This was not before making a quick pit stop at Brandy singing in her bathroom to "Somewhere Over the Rainbow." She actually went in. Haha]
Anyway,
we watched "the Gaga" perform her hit songs,
just her on the piano in a room by herself.
I was able to hear her without all the other shit behind her,
no computerized voiced.
I must say... she can actually sing.
Her lyrics were also quite interesting.
But the main thing that caught me was just her.
Her personality.
She is quirky and socially awkward as all hell.
She just would just do weird funny shit with her voice during some parts in the song.
In one video, she actually put her leg up on the piano as she was playing.
I started dying.
Gotta admit,
I think I'm slowly becoming a fan.
I'm listening to her on imeem right now.
Drawing my final verdict.
I think I'm leaning towards the "yay" side over the "nay".
I mean,
as people say after listening to Gaga (for some reason),
I live!
Word.
November 17, 2009
Music Overload
I was talkin to a very good friend one night,
discussing hip hop as we usually do.
It was a rousing convo,
one in which I discovered I may be losing touch with hip hop.
This is utter nonsense, of course.
But still, it makes me wonder.
I mean, my friend has committed to hip hop,
memorizing lyrics as if it's his job.
He sees branching off from old school into backpacking and other sub-genres of hip hop as expanding his taste enough.
Lately, for me though,
I've been listening to all kinds of stuff:
Hip Hop, Rap, R&B, Soul, Alternative, Rock.
And I love them all, Hip Hop & Alternative being the main two at the moment.
But with this,
I've been constantly receiving new music.
Why just this fall,
that's when I began to feel overwhelmed.
I was fresh from a summer of
discovering J. Cole & Big Sean and
80s music, musical soundtracks, and other music I had stolen from my friend/roommate/coworker.
Then the wave of fall Hip Hop landed at my shores.
Q-Tip, Jay-Z, and Kid Cudi dropped first.
I was blown by all three on different levels.
Q's was great to just vibe to,
Hov's was just straight hip hop,
and Cudi captured the way I was feelin at the time. My man.
I rotated the three new albums for a good week or two,
while listening to my man D.O.'s unoffical CD.
He still gotta go to the studio, though.
Then I felt the urge to download Mos Def,
since he had dropped an album I hadn't copped from over the summer,
only to realize I only had singles of his.
I downloaded his whole collection and listened to that on random for a week straight.
Oh, I decided to download MGMT a bit late around this time too.
Like I said, alternative was taking it's affects on me.
LMFAO's album soon followed.
I heard "Lalala" and "Shots" and lost my mind. Haha
I soon returned to downloading singles
as John Mayer's "Who Says" premiered
and select Lupe tracks were released to the public.
Around the same time,
my single provider had throwback albums on his page
including the Best of Aaliyah, Big Pun, and Dre's The Chronic.
Download. Download. Download.
I also stumbled upon Mr. Hudson's new album on the site.
Since he was featured on 808 & Heartbreaks, I gave him a chance.
I regret it not at all. Great stuff to study to.
I kept getting more singles like
Russian Roulette by Rihanna, Letter by Wale, Popular Demand by the Clipse, etc.
I then found Ryan Leslie's album.
It was a good album to reconnect to R&B with.
It didn't last long, cause the same day I copped Wayne's No Ceilings mixtape.
Gave it a good full listen and liked it.
Haven't listened to the mixtape since.
I went back to rocking my singles playlist until Wale dropped.
Attention Deficit is a good album.
I'm still listening to it,
even though I've just received the Where the Wild Things Are soundtrack
as well as a shit ton of alternative music
from a friend after staying up all night with him as he worked the student desk.
I've also been bumping the A Cool Stick EP.
If you don't know about em,
check em out at acoolstick.com
They're an interesting blend of Hip Hop, Funk, and Acoustic.
But as you see,
I've been OD in these past few months.
There are only but so many hours in the day.
It's been a struggle to balance between my new stuff,
my favorite of the old stuff,
and the random old stuff that'll play when iTunes is on random.
I think I'm beginning to forgot what I have.
Shit, I even have other new music,
but I didnt list them because I didn't feel like listening to them yet.
In addition, I have been listening to the alternative stuff a bit more,
as it is almost brand new to me
and I find it very useful to do homework to.
With the approach of December,
only more music will come.
I believe the Clipse's new joint wil be out soon,
the Nas and Damien Marley collab,
and of course the long awaited return of my man Lupe!
I really want to slow down on my music downloading,
but I'm not sure if I know how.
I'm simply a music junkie.
If you have any ideas on how to help me slow down
or have any new music to help enable my addiction
just hit me up.
Thank ya kindly in advance.
Word.
November 16, 2009
Top 10 Reasons, EP1
This hit me in class while I was taking a test.
I think I'll make this another miniseries.
So, here's the first addition:
Top 10 Reasons Why Black People Think a Guy is Suspect
[suspect is slang for gay]
10)That nigga's clothes too tight, even with the new style around.
[Tight jeans should still have some slack. Muscle shirts are not the straightest things a man can wear.]
9) That nigga is shirtless, even without females around.
[Being too comfortable in your own room can really discomfort your friends]
8) That nigga got gay friends.
[It not that big of a deal now, but some people still think gay by association carries.]
7) That nigga takes offense to the word gay or fag.
[Usually only gays and gals have a problem with it, so again, by association.]
6) That nigga is too touchy-feely.
[Black people don't like to be touched unless they fighting of loving.]
5) That nigga lisps and/or talks with too light an inflection on words.
[Stereotypes are a bitch. :-/]
4) That nigga only hangs around ugly girls.
[Especially if they don't even talk to girls while they're out and about.]
3) That nigga got his eyebrows and/or nails done.
[The metrosexual era is gone. That shit don't fly to easily now.]
2) That nigga wears women clothing.
[Crossdressing is supremely suspect, even if they do it for a play.]
1) You seen that nigga kiss another nigga on a dare.
[Even on a dare, that nigga is gay.]
Runners up:
They don't play sports.
They listen to typically girly music.
They appreciate the arts.
Hope I gave you all a few laughs
and some food for thought.
Word.
I think I'll make this another miniseries.
So, here's the first addition:
Top 10 Reasons Why Black People Think a Guy is Suspect
[suspect is slang for gay]
10)That nigga's clothes too tight, even with the new style around.
[Tight jeans should still have some slack. Muscle shirts are not the straightest things a man can wear.]
9) That nigga is shirtless, even without females around.
[Being too comfortable in your own room can really discomfort your friends]
8) That nigga got gay friends.
[It not that big of a deal now, but some people still think gay by association carries.]
7) That nigga takes offense to the word gay or fag.
[Usually only gays and gals have a problem with it, so again, by association.]
6) That nigga is too touchy-feely.
[Black people don't like to be touched unless they fighting of loving.]
5) That nigga lisps and/or talks with too light an inflection on words.
[Stereotypes are a bitch. :-/]
4) That nigga only hangs around ugly girls.
[Especially if they don't even talk to girls while they're out and about.]
3) That nigga got his eyebrows and/or nails done.
[The metrosexual era is gone. That shit don't fly to easily now.]
2) That nigga wears women clothing.
[Crossdressing is supremely suspect, even if they do it for a play.]
1) You seen that nigga kiss another nigga on a dare.
[Even on a dare, that nigga is gay.]
Runners up:
They don't play sports.
They listen to typically girly music.
They appreciate the arts.
Hope I gave you all a few laughs
and some food for thought.
Word.
November 13, 2009
Green Note
Such a sweet melody you produce,
how can I help but give chase?
There you are floating along like the wind,
circling around,
passing from one person to the next.
You're a restless little creature.
Please, allow me to play with you,
hold you firmly in my fingers,
rub you against my face,
gather all of your cousins and dive into you,
place you securely in my pocket.
Come hither.
What's your name anyway?
George?
Why, you're just a little fellow.
I can teach you how to become a Benjamin.
Just follow me to this casino down the street.
Allow us to make sweet sounds in the hotel room
and drag it down to the main lobby.
To the slots, we go to train.
The big tables are not for you.
Now disassemble yourself into a clinky sound
and fall down the hole.
Don't you fail me as I pull the lever.
If you do then you'll never be a Benjamin, George.
What's this?
Cherry, Lemon, Jackpot?
Oh, green note, you've played me for a fool.
The sheet music you originated from
must have been a cruel song.
An enviable rhythm that I'll dance to no more.
Word.
how can I help but give chase?
There you are floating along like the wind,
circling around,
passing from one person to the next.
You're a restless little creature.
Please, allow me to play with you,
hold you firmly in my fingers,
rub you against my face,
gather all of your cousins and dive into you,
place you securely in my pocket.
Come hither.
What's your name anyway?
George?
Why, you're just a little fellow.
I can teach you how to become a Benjamin.
Just follow me to this casino down the street.
Allow us to make sweet sounds in the hotel room
and drag it down to the main lobby.
To the slots, we go to train.
The big tables are not for you.
Now disassemble yourself into a clinky sound
and fall down the hole.
Don't you fail me as I pull the lever.
If you do then you'll never be a Benjamin, George.
What's this?
Cherry, Lemon, Jackpot?
Oh, green note, you've played me for a fool.
The sheet music you originated from
must have been a cruel song.
An enviable rhythm that I'll dance to no more.
Word.
November 10, 2009
Video Chatting
I just realized something.
We living in the future.
In the Jetsons cartoon,
they had homes and offices with big ass screens that were video phones.
Well... here we are, 2009.
And we all here chattin it up on our laptops.
Granted, people have owned video cameras for their computers for some time now,
but I just got my laptop with video,
so it's official now. No ego. Haha.
But yeah....
even though I've only video chatted with my two best friends from high school,
I really do like it.
I'm hardly back in Jersey,just as they are hardly back in Jersey.
And when we are in Jersey,
we usually not there at the same time.
So, in between all those holiday visits,
it's a nice way to see their faces and hear their voices again.
Sure, we have regular phones,
but as Hov, Drake, and many others are beginning to say:
We Off That!
Video chatting is just retarted.
haha. It definitely takes joking up to a new level.
Cause you can be right there,
a person will look away,
you can be gone.
They wonder where you went
only for you to pop back up 3 minutes after
they been talking to themselves.
Haha.
But I think my favorite video chatting experience was when I started chattin around my college friends.
As some of you remember from an earlier note,
the minorities here at Loyola's campus have a lounge where we all chill at.
So, one day my friend from high school hits me up on Skype.
It was just text, but then he video called me,
so I figured, "Why not?"
....
I should have known better.
This nigga started to clown the people around me as soon as my end of the video popped up.
I couldn't help but start dying.
Talking about flat booties
and bad hair and koofis
and various other things.
I think he started talkin spanish to one girl
and they were not on the same page.
I ain't know who to feel ashamed/embarrassed for,
so I felt sorry for myself.
I should have no better.
My friends from different circles never tend to mix in well.
But that's a story for another note.
Haha.
Nevertheless, I am a fan of video chatting.
But the day when all calling is like that...
and you can't call in sick because they can see your ass faking...
That's when I'll start to hate video chatting.
Haha. But chill then... I'm good.
Word.
We living in the future.
In the Jetsons cartoon,
they had homes and offices with big ass screens that were video phones.
Well... here we are, 2009.
And we all here chattin it up on our laptops.
Granted, people have owned video cameras for their computers for some time now,
but I just got my laptop with video,
so it's official now. No ego. Haha.
But yeah....
even though I've only video chatted with my two best friends from high school,
I really do like it.
I'm hardly back in Jersey,just as they are hardly back in Jersey.
And when we are in Jersey,
we usually not there at the same time.
So, in between all those holiday visits,
it's a nice way to see their faces and hear their voices again.
Sure, we have regular phones,
but as Hov, Drake, and many others are beginning to say:
We Off That!
Video chatting is just retarted.
haha. It definitely takes joking up to a new level.
Cause you can be right there,
a person will look away,
you can be gone.
They wonder where you went
only for you to pop back up 3 minutes after
they been talking to themselves.
Haha.
But I think my favorite video chatting experience was when I started chattin around my college friends.
As some of you remember from an earlier note,
the minorities here at Loyola's campus have a lounge where we all chill at.
So, one day my friend from high school hits me up on Skype.
It was just text, but then he video called me,
so I figured, "Why not?"
....
I should have known better.
This nigga started to clown the people around me as soon as my end of the video popped up.
I couldn't help but start dying.
Talking about flat booties
and bad hair and koofis
and various other things.
I think he started talkin spanish to one girl
and they were not on the same page.
I ain't know who to feel ashamed/embarrassed for,
so I felt sorry for myself.
I should have no better.
My friends from different circles never tend to mix in well.
But that's a story for another note.
Haha.
Nevertheless, I am a fan of video chatting.
But the day when all calling is like that...
and you can't call in sick because they can see your ass faking...
That's when I'll start to hate video chatting.
Haha. But chill then... I'm good.
Word.
November 9, 2009
The Bad I Love
You ever do some shit you know you ain't have no business doin?
How bout stay around a boy/girl friend or just a friend that was no good for you?
Personally,
I think we've all been in this situation at least once.
But why do we put ourselves in such spots?
For some reason,
girls always tend to go for the bad boy.
They never go for their best male friend,
who's been there waiting patiently on the sideline
for the girl to realize how they love them so.
Instead, the girls lust after the kid who used to bully them in grade school
or who rides the bike, or the one always getting in trouble for silly shit.
They want the excitement.
And they're young, so they figure they need it.
So that's it.
The excitement.
But why are exciting things so frequently associated with bad things?
Why can't a night of board games be more exciting than goin out on a Thursday night?
Why can't a friend that always listens to your problems be more exciting than the friend who orders you around all the time?
Why can't a nice steady office job seem as exciting as trying to make it as an actor?
Because in a sense they just aren't.
They're safe, which usually means you know what's going to happen.
With the latter in those match-ups,
as Kevin Garnett said, and I often quote in situations,
"ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE!!!!!"
But as we grow older,
we learn to appriacate the stablity
from all the times we went chasing excitement and got injured.
It's just a shame we have to what so long for such a good lesson.
Word.
How bout stay around a boy/girl friend or just a friend that was no good for you?
Personally,
I think we've all been in this situation at least once.
But why do we put ourselves in such spots?
For some reason,
girls always tend to go for the bad boy.
They never go for their best male friend,
who's been there waiting patiently on the sideline
for the girl to realize how they love them so.
Instead, the girls lust after the kid who used to bully them in grade school
or who rides the bike, or the one always getting in trouble for silly shit.
They want the excitement.
And they're young, so they figure they need it.
So that's it.
The excitement.
But why are exciting things so frequently associated with bad things?
Why can't a night of board games be more exciting than goin out on a Thursday night?
Why can't a friend that always listens to your problems be more exciting than the friend who orders you around all the time?
Why can't a nice steady office job seem as exciting as trying to make it as an actor?
Because in a sense they just aren't.
They're safe, which usually means you know what's going to happen.
With the latter in those match-ups,
as Kevin Garnett said, and I often quote in situations,
"ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE!!!!!"
But as we grow older,
we learn to appriacate the stablity
from all the times we went chasing excitement and got injured.
It's just a shame we have to what so long for such a good lesson.
Word.
November 5, 2009
It's Who You Know
Honestly,
no matter what you're trying to do with your life,
this is almost pretty much a fact.
Be it business, writing, art, technical fields, etc.
When you know the right people,
doors tend to open up for you.
It can start from school.
You and a few other people share common interest,
or maybe you have friends in completely other fields.
You graduate and go your seperate ways.
A few years down the line,
you might still be struggline to land that job at a Fortune 500.
Meanwhile, an old friend calls you up for some drinks.
They tell you how well their doing at this one company.
You get the idea to sublty ask if they can put a good word in for you.
Next thing you know,
you're working entry level at a compnay that can take you places.
You know,
you'd think you could get around on your own merit and credentals.
But sometimes the wackest people get the best jobs
cause they have the best connects.
Meanwhile, you got mad skills and still living in yo momma basement.
Not to say all people with success are the wack ones,
cause some of them are fucking geniuses.
They are the ones that can make it on their own
...and their the ones that help you out in times of need.
But you know...
there is a way to get by on your own merit and get the right hookups.
It's called interning. Haha.
I'm tryna get my internship in line for next semester.
It sucks though, cause my carless/license-less ass can't get to any off campus internships,
so I gotta manage with the ones here at Loyola.
But, I plan to make the best of it,
learn what I can, see if the people in charge can get my name out there to anyone else and see what happens.
Gonna be putting on my best nigga shuffle and manners,
brown nosing like a mug to seem the best and reliable
so they think highly of me.
Because remember,
it's who you know.
Word.
no matter what you're trying to do with your life,
this is almost pretty much a fact.
Be it business, writing, art, technical fields, etc.
When you know the right people,
doors tend to open up for you.
It can start from school.
You and a few other people share common interest,
or maybe you have friends in completely other fields.
You graduate and go your seperate ways.
A few years down the line,
you might still be struggline to land that job at a Fortune 500.
Meanwhile, an old friend calls you up for some drinks.
They tell you how well their doing at this one company.
You get the idea to sublty ask if they can put a good word in for you.
Next thing you know,
you're working entry level at a compnay that can take you places.
You know,
you'd think you could get around on your own merit and credentals.
But sometimes the wackest people get the best jobs
cause they have the best connects.
Meanwhile, you got mad skills and still living in yo momma basement.
Not to say all people with success are the wack ones,
cause some of them are fucking geniuses.
They are the ones that can make it on their own
...and their the ones that help you out in times of need.
But you know...
there is a way to get by on your own merit and get the right hookups.
It's called interning. Haha.
I'm tryna get my internship in line for next semester.
It sucks though, cause my carless/license-less ass can't get to any off campus internships,
so I gotta manage with the ones here at Loyola.
But, I plan to make the best of it,
learn what I can, see if the people in charge can get my name out there to anyone else and see what happens.
Gonna be putting on my best nigga shuffle and manners,
brown nosing like a mug to seem the best and reliable
so they think highly of me.
Because remember,
it's who you know.
Word.
November 4, 2009
Warmer and Warmer
I’ve never been one for unnecessary caffeine,
but for some reason Dearest has put the wedding gift to use, for once.
She sets the warm liquid on the stand beside the bed.
I awaken to its aroma.
I marvel at the ring left behind as I raise the mug to my mouth.
It couldn’t have been sitting there longer than two minutes.
I examine the surface of the stand closer and find two additional rings,
laid out as if I found a secret stamp at Disneyland.
Two more and we got the Olympics!
I chuckle aloud, yet manage not to scold myself.
Scold. Why does that word ring so loud in my head?
Why is my head ringing at all? A scent now accompanies the stiffness of the coffee,
one I’ve been attempting to ignore for weeks, one of unfamiliar musk and grass.
I allow the mug to rest on the stand as I leave my bed.
Rushing to leave the presence of this ill feeling,
I forgo the shower and put on the suit I wore yesterday,
I walk out of the bedroom, into the hall,
past the kitchen to hear the Doll call after me as I attempt to avoid her.
I’ll leave the Dame to her household duties.
If we can’t be clean, then at least the house should be.
As I open the door to depart, there’s the young gardener,
shirt barely buttoned,
muscles protruding,
shears in hand.
All of a sudden this summer day feels cold.
Just another through back poem for you all to enjoy.
Copyrighted to the fullest!
Word.
but for some reason Dearest has put the wedding gift to use, for once.
She sets the warm liquid on the stand beside the bed.
I awaken to its aroma.
I marvel at the ring left behind as I raise the mug to my mouth.
It couldn’t have been sitting there longer than two minutes.
I examine the surface of the stand closer and find two additional rings,
laid out as if I found a secret stamp at Disneyland.
Two more and we got the Olympics!
I chuckle aloud, yet manage not to scold myself.
Scold. Why does that word ring so loud in my head?
Why is my head ringing at all? A scent now accompanies the stiffness of the coffee,
one I’ve been attempting to ignore for weeks, one of unfamiliar musk and grass.
I allow the mug to rest on the stand as I leave my bed.
Rushing to leave the presence of this ill feeling,
I forgo the shower and put on the suit I wore yesterday,
I walk out of the bedroom, into the hall,
past the kitchen to hear the Doll call after me as I attempt to avoid her.
I’ll leave the Dame to her household duties.
If we can’t be clean, then at least the house should be.
As I open the door to depart, there’s the young gardener,
shirt barely buttoned,
muscles protruding,
shears in hand.
All of a sudden this summer day feels cold.
Just another through back poem for you all to enjoy.
Copyrighted to the fullest!
Word.
November 3, 2009
Reality TV
Upon their conception,
reality shows seemed like a good idea.
Why not give people a chance to tell their story?
Why not see how people live on the day to day?
But somewhere along the way,
things took a turn.
The earliest reality show I can think of is MTV's Real World.
7 teens and 20-somethings live in a house in a popular city
coming together from all parts of the country
to show what happens when people stop being polite
and starting getting... "real".
It's been a ride of drama and foolishness ever since.
The next big hit would have to be CBS's Survivor.
It was here that reality took a stretch.
Putting people on an island like they're stranded...
but then giving them challenges for "immunity"
so they can stay stranded. Haha.
Here people's ugly side comes out,
because now money is involved.
They lied, they cheated...
they formed alliances... oooo.
Which they would only break in the long run.
It wasn't long before dating reality shows came along.
The Bachellor was on of the stand outs, easily.
But it was no where near as entertaining as the shows that followed,
especially on VH1.
Flava Flav started it all.
It was ridiculous how many good lookin ghetto girls he had fightin over him.
It only made it better that he nicknamed them all such slutty names.
Then, after being rejected twice by him,
Tiffany Pollard aka New York got her own show.
Soon Bret Michaels got his own show.
And soon more and more spinsoff came along,
like Real Chance of Love, Daisy of Love,
New York Goes To Hollywood,
and my favorite For the Love of Money.
It's kinda like Real World vs Road World,
where drama, dating, and money collide.
Aw, it's a fuckfeast of amusing shit.
Now, it's okay that these minor celebrites have their own shows.
They have nothing better to do than try to rebulit their image.
But recent Diddy and Ray J have been on their reality show grind.
You can tell that they struggling,
Ray J more so than Diddy.
Diddy does likes to punk people around on TV.
Rather it be Making Da Band, Making His Band, or I Wanna Work for Diddy.
This is beginning to be a problem.
Correction: this has long been a problem.
As the days goes by,
more and more TV is scheduled with "reality" shows.
But shocking conclusion though:
These shows aren't reality anymore!
They are fabrication of what some people wish to be real.
They should no longer be called reality.
They should be called what they are.
People Acting Idiotic for the Camera shows
or PAIC shows for short. [pronounced pee-ah-ik]
Now..
Yes, I do watch these shows.
I'm not saying their bad, persay.
But they are a mockery of the human experience.
And that's why I watch them. Haha.
Word.
reality shows seemed like a good idea.
Why not give people a chance to tell their story?
Why not see how people live on the day to day?
But somewhere along the way,
things took a turn.
The earliest reality show I can think of is MTV's Real World.
7 teens and 20-somethings live in a house in a popular city
coming together from all parts of the country
to show what happens when people stop being polite
and starting getting... "real".
It's been a ride of drama and foolishness ever since.
The next big hit would have to be CBS's Survivor.
It was here that reality took a stretch.
Putting people on an island like they're stranded...
but then giving them challenges for "immunity"
so they can stay stranded. Haha.
Here people's ugly side comes out,
because now money is involved.
They lied, they cheated...
they formed alliances... oooo.
Which they would only break in the long run.
It wasn't long before dating reality shows came along.
The Bachellor was on of the stand outs, easily.
But it was no where near as entertaining as the shows that followed,
especially on VH1.
Flava Flav started it all.
It was ridiculous how many good lookin ghetto girls he had fightin over him.
It only made it better that he nicknamed them all such slutty names.
Then, after being rejected twice by him,
Tiffany Pollard aka New York got her own show.
Soon Bret Michaels got his own show.
And soon more and more spinsoff came along,
like Real Chance of Love, Daisy of Love,
New York Goes To Hollywood,
and my favorite For the Love of Money.
It's kinda like Real World vs Road World,
where drama, dating, and money collide.
Aw, it's a fuckfeast of amusing shit.
Now, it's okay that these minor celebrites have their own shows.
They have nothing better to do than try to rebulit their image.
But recent Diddy and Ray J have been on their reality show grind.
You can tell that they struggling,
Ray J more so than Diddy.
Diddy does likes to punk people around on TV.
Rather it be Making Da Band, Making His Band, or I Wanna Work for Diddy.
This is beginning to be a problem.
Correction: this has long been a problem.
As the days goes by,
more and more TV is scheduled with "reality" shows.
But shocking conclusion though:
These shows aren't reality anymore!
They are fabrication of what some people wish to be real.
They should no longer be called reality.
They should be called what they are.
People Acting Idiotic for the Camera shows
or PAIC shows for short. [pronounced pee-ah-ik]
Now..
Yes, I do watch these shows.
I'm not saying their bad, persay.
But they are a mockery of the human experience.
And that's why I watch them. Haha.
Word.
November 2, 2009
Black Face, White Face
So... this Halloween
I dressed as a white guy, right.
More specifically,
I was Dave Chappelle as Chuck Taylor,
a white newscaster he played on his show.
I had my fake microphone,
my blue blazer,
my chuck taylors on my feet,
my blonde wig,
and of course white facepaint all over my face and neck.
Let me tell you about my experience.
Of course,
my friends, white guys, all liked my costume.
I kinda got the idea from them.
They're all pretty cool.
Then a few white girls came over.
I'm pretty sure I creeped them out,
they didn't look me in the face or even in my general direction the whole time we were in the room.
Then we went out.
When we arrived on the scene,
I received more looks.
People would often see me and immediately look away.
I got a few people who asked me who I was supposed to be.
Because I didn't feel like explaining it all,
I simply said I was a white newscaster.
The person would nod and walk away.
I didn't get any props for more costume.
Well, except from one guy who screamed,
"Hey, you're a white guy!"
I did see one guy in black face,
but it was actually brown.
He was rasta.
When I returned back on campus
and saw a few other friends,
they gave me props for my costume.
I don't know.
I feel like I may have offended the white folks while I was out.
Obviously, I don't care.
It was actually done to see how they would act.
I did put on a stereotypical white voice,
speakin all proper and what not,
commenting on lude acts as a disgrace,
making a few mildly racist comments.
I also danced awkwardly and requested for cous cous to eat.
I was simply performing a sort of modern day ragtag.
If I had seen someone out in legit blackface this Halloween,
I might have wanted to fight,
but I would have gone up to him and interviewed him with my mike.
I really wish I had.
To me though,
one race dressing as another race is just like
a guy dressing as a woman for Halloween.
Is it not?
Obviously, I wanna hear what you have to say on the matter.
Black, white, brown, yellow, red, whatever.
What do you think about someone being something they clearly aren't?
Let me know.
Word.
I dressed as a white guy, right.
More specifically,
I was Dave Chappelle as Chuck Taylor,
a white newscaster he played on his show.
I had my fake microphone,
my blue blazer,
my chuck taylors on my feet,
my blonde wig,
and of course white facepaint all over my face and neck.
Let me tell you about my experience.
Of course,
my friends, white guys, all liked my costume.
I kinda got the idea from them.
They're all pretty cool.
Then a few white girls came over.
I'm pretty sure I creeped them out,
they didn't look me in the face or even in my general direction the whole time we were in the room.
Then we went out.
When we arrived on the scene,
I received more looks.
People would often see me and immediately look away.
I got a few people who asked me who I was supposed to be.
Because I didn't feel like explaining it all,
I simply said I was a white newscaster.
The person would nod and walk away.
I didn't get any props for more costume.
Well, except from one guy who screamed,
"Hey, you're a white guy!"
I did see one guy in black face,
but it was actually brown.
He was rasta.
When I returned back on campus
and saw a few other friends,
they gave me props for my costume.
I don't know.
I feel like I may have offended the white folks while I was out.
Obviously, I don't care.
It was actually done to see how they would act.
I did put on a stereotypical white voice,
speakin all proper and what not,
commenting on lude acts as a disgrace,
making a few mildly racist comments.
I also danced awkwardly and requested for cous cous to eat.
I was simply performing a sort of modern day ragtag.
If I had seen someone out in legit blackface this Halloween,
I might have wanted to fight,
but I would have gone up to him and interviewed him with my mike.
I really wish I had.
To me though,
one race dressing as another race is just like
a guy dressing as a woman for Halloween.
Is it not?
Obviously, I wanna hear what you have to say on the matter.
Black, white, brown, yellow, red, whatever.
What do you think about someone being something they clearly aren't?
Let me know.
Word.
October 29, 2009
Current Events
Hello my good dear listeners.
I know some of you are a lil tight,
me not posting to frequently lately.
But November promises to be busier for me than October,
and I always seem to blog more when I don't have time for it.
So expect a flood load of monologues come next week.
But for now,
I thought I'd hit you all with an update.
I think I'm bout to start current events.
As some of you may have noticed,
I hardly ever touch on things in the news lines
or any thing that might pop off on the internet.
But lately, I feel as if I have more of an opinion on things.
Before I just felt as if I wasn't aware enough.
Also, I didn't like to deal with reality.
But I think I'm coming to grips with it.
This isn't to say that you'll see less of my topical rants and works of fiction.
No, it just means that in between
you'll see how I feel on issues that pop up on the day to day.
Thus creating more frequent post.
Haha, I feel like I'm back in 7th grade
when I had to stand in front of the class
and report on some news clippin I found the day before.
...Damn, that means I'mma have to start doing research.
Now I remember why I didn't do the news. Haha.
But yeah, that's all I wanted to let you guys know.
This is only a teaser.
However, below are a few of the best posts
I've published on Facebook while fixing kinks on Blogger.
See you all next week,
and have a reckless yet safe Halloween.
Word.
I know some of you are a lil tight,
me not posting to frequently lately.
But November promises to be busier for me than October,
and I always seem to blog more when I don't have time for it.
So expect a flood load of monologues come next week.
But for now,
I thought I'd hit you all with an update.
I think I'm bout to start current events.
As some of you may have noticed,
I hardly ever touch on things in the news lines
or any thing that might pop off on the internet.
But lately, I feel as if I have more of an opinion on things.
Before I just felt as if I wasn't aware enough.
Also, I didn't like to deal with reality.
But I think I'm coming to grips with it.
This isn't to say that you'll see less of my topical rants and works of fiction.
No, it just means that in between
you'll see how I feel on issues that pop up on the day to day.
Thus creating more frequent post.
Haha, I feel like I'm back in 7th grade
when I had to stand in front of the class
and report on some news clippin I found the day before.
...Damn, that means I'mma have to start doing research.
Now I remember why I didn't do the news. Haha.
But yeah, that's all I wanted to let you guys know.
This is only a teaser.
However, below are a few of the best posts
I've published on Facebook while fixing kinks on Blogger.
See you all next week,
and have a reckless yet safe Halloween.
Word.
Why Are All the Black Kids Not Even Eating Lunch in the Cafeteria?
Some of you know the book
"Why Are All The Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria?"
It's a good book.
I've started to read it, and it's true.
Allow me to tell a personal account if you will.
Here at Loyola,
we - blacks and other minorites - have a spot.
We all go to this spot to eat lunch or to just hang out between classes.
It's a place of hilarious jokes and free debates
without judgment from any outside sources.
It's a safe haven, if you will.
What happens there usually does stay there,
or at least between us.
However, as of late,
there have been classes held in our place of recreation.
Now, this is fine...
but our place is more of a lounge.
It's not really the place for a class.
The chairs are too comfy and the flat screen tv too inviting. Haha.
These classes are usually held during peak lunch time hours,
thus forcing the minorities to eat else where.
Today was the first time it affected me.
Eating down here in the cafeteria,
where I'm currently at,
is much different.
You don't have the freedom to just wild out and be you;
you feel constricted by your surroundings.
In our lounge, people will come in and out,
providing a wide array of characters.
Down here, you have to search.
Though the search is still easy.
We're all sitting together. Haha.
In fact, I don't see too many other minorities down here...
maybe two or three that usually don't come to the lounge anyway.
I also don't recongize any of the white kids down here,
and I know my fair amount of white kids. Haha.
But I think I see why there are classes in the lounge now.
I think this is a way to force us back into the cafe,
to have us not rely on the lounge as an escape.
We need to learn how to interact with everyone and not exclude ourselves.
Because when we exclude ourselves,
they - the whites - will exclude us themselves because they feel as if we want no part of them. Once we start eating in the cafe together,
maybe we'll start to invite whites..
and then maybe we'll branch off and eat with our new white friends,
while of course still reconnecting to have our occasional wild outs...
much needed ones, I assure you.
Because white kids just don't understand sometimes.
Word.
"Why Are All The Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria?"
It's a good book.
I've started to read it, and it's true.
Allow me to tell a personal account if you will.
Here at Loyola,
we - blacks and other minorites - have a spot.
We all go to this spot to eat lunch or to just hang out between classes.
It's a place of hilarious jokes and free debates
without judgment from any outside sources.
It's a safe haven, if you will.
What happens there usually does stay there,
or at least between us.
However, as of late,
there have been classes held in our place of recreation.
Now, this is fine...
but our place is more of a lounge.
It's not really the place for a class.
The chairs are too comfy and the flat screen tv too inviting. Haha.
These classes are usually held during peak lunch time hours,
thus forcing the minorities to eat else where.
Today was the first time it affected me.
Eating down here in the cafeteria,
where I'm currently at,
is much different.
You don't have the freedom to just wild out and be you;
you feel constricted by your surroundings.
In our lounge, people will come in and out,
providing a wide array of characters.
Down here, you have to search.
Though the search is still easy.
We're all sitting together. Haha.
In fact, I don't see too many other minorities down here...
maybe two or three that usually don't come to the lounge anyway.
I also don't recongize any of the white kids down here,
and I know my fair amount of white kids. Haha.
But I think I see why there are classes in the lounge now.
I think this is a way to force us back into the cafe,
to have us not rely on the lounge as an escape.
We need to learn how to interact with everyone and not exclude ourselves.
Because when we exclude ourselves,
they - the whites - will exclude us themselves because they feel as if we want no part of them. Once we start eating in the cafe together,
maybe we'll start to invite whites..
and then maybe we'll branch off and eat with our new white friends,
while of course still reconnecting to have our occasional wild outs...
much needed ones, I assure you.
Because white kids just don't understand sometimes.
Word.
Case of the Mondays
[typical office space on a Monday morning]
Mary - [peaking over cubical wall] You don't look too good, Jack. You okay?
Jack - Yeah, I'm aight. Just miss this past weekend. It was so good!
Bill - [overing hearing from across the way] Sounds like you got yourself a case of the mondays to me.
Jack - A case of the what?
Mary - Of the mondays. You know, like--
Jack - Oh my God! I have to get to the bottom of this. [runs out of his cubical]
Bill - What's wrong with him?
Mary Ann - [shrugs] Maybe you should follow him.
[Bill looks off into the distance after Jack]
[Jack is in the bathroom now, alone, splashing water on his face]
Jack - How did these mondays develop inside of me? I didn't eat or drink anything out of the ordinary. ...Well, actually...
[scene goes dark and a spot light comes up on a friend]
Friend 1 - Hey, Jack! Bet you won't eat these chocolate covered ants I bought back with me from my trip to Africa.
Jack - But those are a delicacy. Perfectly fine to eat.
[1st spotlight fades as 2nd one rises]
Friend 2 - Hey, Jack! You wanna hit these 6 L.I ice teas with me in a row?
Jack - OKay, that was a bad idea that almost blacked me out.
[2nd spotlight fades; 3rd rises]
Friend 3 - Oh Jack... Why don't you follow me into this room? I've seen how you've been looking at me all night. [she winks]
Jack - And then she took a shot with me before I followed her in and that blacked me out. Did she... did she do anything to me while I was in there... like.... like shove mondays up my... What the fuck are mondays anyway? Ugh! I must still be drunk. Why did I invite my friends over last night?
[the bathroom door opens. It's Bill]
Bill - You okay, man?
Jack - Bill, what the fuck is a monday and how did it get inside me?
Bill - Umm... it's today.
Jack - Obviously it's today, but what is a monday?
Bill - It's today!
Jack - Bill, you aren't making any sense.
Bill - God, that is alcohol on your breath. Here. [hands Jack a mint] A monday is a day of the week. It comes right after the weekend. Today is a monday.
Jack - So how do I have a case of them? [gasp] Are mondays a type of beer, too?
Bill - No, dumb ass. You have a case of the mondays because you miss the weekend so much you seem disappointed it's monday. It's as if you recieved a case of mondays in your mail.
Jack - [stares blankly at Bill] ...oh ok.
Bill - You don't get it, do you?
Jack - I think I want a 30 case of the mondays for lunch.... or should I save it for tonight?
Bill - Go home, Jack.
Jack - Can I take Mary with me?
Bill- That's up to her.
Jack - Cause I don't think I can finish a case of mondays by myself.
Bill - Dammit, I'll go with you. You obviously can't drive anyway.
Jack - I took the bus to work today.
Bill - Well, good for you. Now come on.
Jack - OKay [starts to follow Bill out of the bathroom] Where are we getting the mondays from, though?
Bill - Shut up.
And thus,
a hungover caused by drinking on a sunday night became a case of the mondays.
Case closed.
Word.
Mary - [peaking over cubical wall] You don't look too good, Jack. You okay?
Jack - Yeah, I'm aight. Just miss this past weekend. It was so good!
Bill - [overing hearing from across the way] Sounds like you got yourself a case of the mondays to me.
Jack - A case of the what?
Mary - Of the mondays. You know, like--
Jack - Oh my God! I have to get to the bottom of this. [runs out of his cubical]
Bill - What's wrong with him?
Mary Ann - [shrugs] Maybe you should follow him.
[Bill looks off into the distance after Jack]
[Jack is in the bathroom now, alone, splashing water on his face]
Jack - How did these mondays develop inside of me? I didn't eat or drink anything out of the ordinary. ...Well, actually...
[scene goes dark and a spot light comes up on a friend]
Friend 1 - Hey, Jack! Bet you won't eat these chocolate covered ants I bought back with me from my trip to Africa.
Jack - But those are a delicacy. Perfectly fine to eat.
[1st spotlight fades as 2nd one rises]
Friend 2 - Hey, Jack! You wanna hit these 6 L.I ice teas with me in a row?
Jack - OKay, that was a bad idea that almost blacked me out.
[2nd spotlight fades; 3rd rises]
Friend 3 - Oh Jack... Why don't you follow me into this room? I've seen how you've been looking at me all night. [she winks]
Jack - And then she took a shot with me before I followed her in and that blacked me out. Did she... did she do anything to me while I was in there... like.... like shove mondays up my... What the fuck are mondays anyway? Ugh! I must still be drunk. Why did I invite my friends over last night?
[the bathroom door opens. It's Bill]
Bill - You okay, man?
Jack - Bill, what the fuck is a monday and how did it get inside me?
Bill - Umm... it's today.
Jack - Obviously it's today, but what is a monday?
Bill - It's today!
Jack - Bill, you aren't making any sense.
Bill - God, that is alcohol on your breath. Here. [hands Jack a mint] A monday is a day of the week. It comes right after the weekend. Today is a monday.
Jack - So how do I have a case of them? [gasp] Are mondays a type of beer, too?
Bill - No, dumb ass. You have a case of the mondays because you miss the weekend so much you seem disappointed it's monday. It's as if you recieved a case of mondays in your mail.
Jack - [stares blankly at Bill] ...oh ok.
Bill - You don't get it, do you?
Jack - I think I want a 30 case of the mondays for lunch.... or should I save it for tonight?
Bill - Go home, Jack.
Jack - Can I take Mary with me?
Bill- That's up to her.
Jack - Cause I don't think I can finish a case of mondays by myself.
Bill - Dammit, I'll go with you. You obviously can't drive anyway.
Jack - I took the bus to work today.
Bill - Well, good for you. Now come on.
Jack - OKay [starts to follow Bill out of the bathroom] Where are we getting the mondays from, though?
Bill - Shut up.
And thus,
a hungover caused by drinking on a sunday night became a case of the mondays.
Case closed.
Word.
Ashamed of the Types of Stereos
I'm really not one to put anyone on blast...
but sometimes it's hard to talk about something without doing so.
So...
let's just say I was at a gathering of mostly black people.
Everyone in the place is either a leader in their own right or a freshman.
I walk through the door and what do I spot not even 5 steps away from the door...
...but fuckin fried chicken.
Fried chicken and a few drinks.
Thank the Lord there wasn't any grape soda..
only orange for my man Kel.
A nigga such as myself just had to shake his head in shame.
It wasn't even in a bucket.
Naw, b.
It was in one of them white styrofoam containers inside a brown paper bag.
Worst of all,
white people came through too.
I was ashamed as shit.
I mean,
yeah I ate some chicken with duck sauce and hot sauce...
but I was still feelin ashamed.
The white kids ate it too,
but I know they was like, "....niggas" in their heads.
But come on, everyone loves fried chicken, right?
Now my good friends [and associates],
why is it that I felt so ashamed of having fried chicken at this gathering of black people?
Have I been conditioned to feel so?
Perhaps yes.
Anytime I see watermelon or fried chicken or rims or anything a black person may want stereotypically, I try to distance myself from.
In all honesty,
I don't really eat fried shit anymore.
My mom stopped frying food around the time I started high school.
But why must I feel ashamed?
Why should we let stereotypes control our lives,
stop us from doing certain things?
We enjoy the things we enjoy.
Simple as that.
I'll still laugh anytime I see a Jamician with a beef patty and pineapple soda,
but I won't critisize them for it...
cause shit...
I love them shits too.
As always,
I open this up to discussion.
Perhaps I can host an in person debate about this issue,
maybe even other topics.
I think I'd like that.
Hmmm....
Word.
but sometimes it's hard to talk about something without doing so.
So...
let's just say I was at a gathering of mostly black people.
Everyone in the place is either a leader in their own right or a freshman.
I walk through the door and what do I spot not even 5 steps away from the door...
...but fuckin fried chicken.
Fried chicken and a few drinks.
Thank the Lord there wasn't any grape soda..
only orange for my man Kel.
A nigga such as myself just had to shake his head in shame.
It wasn't even in a bucket.
Naw, b.
It was in one of them white styrofoam containers inside a brown paper bag.
Worst of all,
white people came through too.
I was ashamed as shit.
I mean,
yeah I ate some chicken with duck sauce and hot sauce...
but I was still feelin ashamed.
The white kids ate it too,
but I know they was like, "....niggas" in their heads.
But come on, everyone loves fried chicken, right?
Now my good friends [and associates],
why is it that I felt so ashamed of having fried chicken at this gathering of black people?
Have I been conditioned to feel so?
Perhaps yes.
Anytime I see watermelon or fried chicken or rims or anything a black person may want stereotypically, I try to distance myself from.
In all honesty,
I don't really eat fried shit anymore.
My mom stopped frying food around the time I started high school.
But why must I feel ashamed?
Why should we let stereotypes control our lives,
stop us from doing certain things?
We enjoy the things we enjoy.
Simple as that.
I'll still laugh anytime I see a Jamician with a beef patty and pineapple soda,
but I won't critisize them for it...
cause shit...
I love them shits too.
As always,
I open this up to discussion.
Perhaps I can host an in person debate about this issue,
maybe even other topics.
I think I'd like that.
Hmmm....
Word.
Attendance
Hahaha.
Okay, so you know how college kids go to class, right?
And how sometimes they don't go, right?
....I forgot where I was going with that. Haha
But anyway,
I noticed something this week.
Teachers always learn ethnic kids' names faster than white kids' name.
Now, it's not because our names are different.
Ain't no way some old white man is gonna get Shaquisha or Tekino in one shot.
Naw, it's obv cause we don't look like anyone else in the class.
You know that one game Guess Who?
You remember how if you had one of the 2 black people you were fucked cause the other guy knew who you had?
Well that's what teachers do.
They remember a name, let's say Charles, belongs to a black kid.
They'll knock down all the white kids faces, then the ethnic girls.
Then he'll try his luck, get it right, and remember it.
The hardest to get are obviously the white girls.
They're so many of them and they all have similiar features if you group the right ones together.
[and yes, that was another one of my countless stabs at white chicks :-P]
I bring up all this to say this...
Do you now how hard it is for me to skip class!!!???
Even if the teacher doesn't take attendance,
they're gonna notice they're down a blackie.
A white girl can miss a class with a strict attendance taker and still get credit like she was there cause her friend'll say here twice, pointing her head in different direction each time.
[ranting mode cooling down]
I mean,
I guess I understand why attendance is important.
We are here to learn after all.
But let that be up to us.
We're adults.
If we feel like stayin in after a hard hard night, then let us.
Don't make attendance affect our grades.
Our poor tests grade due to the fact that we weren't in class for the notes will hurt our grades enough.
But ey, what do I know?
I'm just some preppy black kid with a new laptop and a lot of free time.
Word.
Okay, so you know how college kids go to class, right?
And how sometimes they don't go, right?
....I forgot where I was going with that. Haha
But anyway,
I noticed something this week.
Teachers always learn ethnic kids' names faster than white kids' name.
Now, it's not because our names are different.
Ain't no way some old white man is gonna get Shaquisha or Tekino in one shot.
Naw, it's obv cause we don't look like anyone else in the class.
You know that one game Guess Who?
You remember how if you had one of the 2 black people you were fucked cause the other guy knew who you had?
Well that's what teachers do.
They remember a name, let's say Charles, belongs to a black kid.
They'll knock down all the white kids faces, then the ethnic girls.
Then he'll try his luck, get it right, and remember it.
The hardest to get are obviously the white girls.
They're so many of them and they all have similiar features if you group the right ones together.
[and yes, that was another one of my countless stabs at white chicks :-P]
I bring up all this to say this...
Do you now how hard it is for me to skip class!!!???
Even if the teacher doesn't take attendance,
they're gonna notice they're down a blackie.
A white girl can miss a class with a strict attendance taker and still get credit like she was there cause her friend'll say here twice, pointing her head in different direction each time.
[ranting mode cooling down]
I mean,
I guess I understand why attendance is important.
We are here to learn after all.
But let that be up to us.
We're adults.
If we feel like stayin in after a hard hard night, then let us.
Don't make attendance affect our grades.
Our poor tests grade due to the fact that we weren't in class for the notes will hurt our grades enough.
But ey, what do I know?
I'm just some preppy black kid with a new laptop and a lot of free time.
Word.
Affirmative Action
A very good friend and fellow writer of mines posted a status last week that disturbed me a bit.
"MOMENT OF IGNORANCE: white woman, just given birth to a healthy baby girl a few days ago, proclaimed on a christian radio show that she donated $1000 to planned parenthood to help pay for the abortions of "children of color" so that her child would not have to be cheated out of a job by affirmative action. She says she's getting rid of the competition. WOW......Lord, we need you"
Needless to say, I was ready to start a march on Washington after reading that.
Now,
affirmative action has been under debate for a minute now,
mostly by the whites that feel they've been cheated out by a lesser black adversery.
Boo hoo.
As if you all don't make up the majority of the U.S. and the job market,
the good jobs I mean.
You as a people have been groomed to be the best intelligentally.
As far as I know,
up until a couple hundred years ago,
we were groomed to be big and strong.
That's why we domimant sports now. :-P
Not downing my fellow brothers and sister,
no, not at all.
I'm just saying...
I actually do believe the white man's computing power to be better than ours.
Now, that may be part of my conditioning.
How this got in my head, I have no idea.
But it's these sorts of subconcious things that hold us back.
Affirmative action was created to give us a fair shot.
Cause head to head, the higher percentage of kids with 3.5s all through High School is definitely in the white community.
Us ignorant negros don't know nothing but rap lyrics and new dances. :-/
I'm exgerrating,
but my lack of spelling as seen above is no joke.
Black education systems,
as I've touched on before, are not all too good.
There are exceptions, but still.
We just tryna find a way to come up in life without having to rap or play ball.
Let us play catch us for a bit.
We deserve it.
And to that mother that supported the abortion of colored babies... if I ever see you in the streets, you better find a way to abort me from beating that ass. Viciously. Word.
"MOMENT OF IGNORANCE: white woman, just given birth to a healthy baby girl a few days ago, proclaimed on a christian radio show that she donated $1000 to planned parenthood to help pay for the abortions of "children of color" so that her child would not have to be cheated out of a job by affirmative action. She says she's getting rid of the competition. WOW......Lord, we need you"
Needless to say, I was ready to start a march on Washington after reading that.
Now,
affirmative action has been under debate for a minute now,
mostly by the whites that feel they've been cheated out by a lesser black adversery.
Boo hoo.
As if you all don't make up the majority of the U.S. and the job market,
the good jobs I mean.
You as a people have been groomed to be the best intelligentally.
As far as I know,
up until a couple hundred years ago,
we were groomed to be big and strong.
That's why we domimant sports now. :-P
Not downing my fellow brothers and sister,
no, not at all.
I'm just saying...
I actually do believe the white man's computing power to be better than ours.
Now, that may be part of my conditioning.
How this got in my head, I have no idea.
But it's these sorts of subconcious things that hold us back.
Affirmative action was created to give us a fair shot.
Cause head to head, the higher percentage of kids with 3.5s all through High School is definitely in the white community.
Us ignorant negros don't know nothing but rap lyrics and new dances. :-/
I'm exgerrating,
but my lack of spelling as seen above is no joke.
Black education systems,
as I've touched on before, are not all too good.
There are exceptions, but still.
We just tryna find a way to come up in life without having to rap or play ball.
Let us play catch us for a bit.
We deserve it.
And to that mother that supported the abortion of colored babies... if I ever see you in the streets, you better find a way to abort me from beating that ass. Viciously. Word.
Lil Asian Chinese Menu Delivery Girl
The little Asian Girl heard the bell ring.
The school day was over.
She walked out of the classroom into the hallway.
She wobbled through to the main entrance,
as she had not let grown into her weight.
Upon her exit, a horn honked at her: her ride.
She hopped into the passenger's seat.
As the car pulled off,
the day's stack of menus dropped in her lap.
She looked up at the driver,
her eyes showing want for ice cream or whatever it is that children wish for nowadays.
Without looking at her the driver said,
"If you want somethng, you'll have to wait til after you do your homework. And you can only do your homework once you finish your job, which will help you buy whatever you want yourself."
The girl had spited her father for some time now,
but never spoke on it,
out of respect for the man.
They arrived at a college campus.
"I'll be back for you in half an hour."
The girl got out of the car and began to walk away.
"And make sure you take out any other Chinese menus you see."
As she walked around the campus,
she could feel the stares of the students.
She always felt out of place,
especially at this campus,
with its many white suburban kids.
She kept in mind that she would avoid applying to this school when the time came.
She knocked on front door after front door,
let in by whatever student happened to be working the desk in front.
They watched her with curiosity as he hobbled to the desk and stood on tippy-toes to place the menus down.
She could hardly tell if any other menus resided up there.
When she no longer had any menus in hand,
she stood on the corner that she had been instructed to wait.
Many older gentlemen gave her a long lookover.
She was often grateful she lived in America.
Her father showed up,
thirty minutes exactly after he dropped her off.
She started to climb into the car when he stopped her.
"Your hands are empty."
She found nothing wrong with this.
"I told you to grab the other menus too.
You ingrate of a child!
You know the punishment for not doing as I say."
He pushed his daughter out and locked the door.
Looking forward, he commanded,
"Walk home safely, and don't be late for dinner."
And he drove off.
The girl slumped down.
She was not surprised by her father's actions.
As she remained there on the corner,
she posed a question to herself:
Do I really want to go home?
The school day was over.
She walked out of the classroom into the hallway.
She wobbled through to the main entrance,
as she had not let grown into her weight.
Upon her exit, a horn honked at her: her ride.
She hopped into the passenger's seat.
As the car pulled off,
the day's stack of menus dropped in her lap.
She looked up at the driver,
her eyes showing want for ice cream or whatever it is that children wish for nowadays.
Without looking at her the driver said,
"If you want somethng, you'll have to wait til after you do your homework. And you can only do your homework once you finish your job, which will help you buy whatever you want yourself."
The girl had spited her father for some time now,
but never spoke on it,
out of respect for the man.
They arrived at a college campus.
"I'll be back for you in half an hour."
The girl got out of the car and began to walk away.
"And make sure you take out any other Chinese menus you see."
As she walked around the campus,
she could feel the stares of the students.
She always felt out of place,
especially at this campus,
with its many white suburban kids.
She kept in mind that she would avoid applying to this school when the time came.
She knocked on front door after front door,
let in by whatever student happened to be working the desk in front.
They watched her with curiosity as he hobbled to the desk and stood on tippy-toes to place the menus down.
She could hardly tell if any other menus resided up there.
When she no longer had any menus in hand,
she stood on the corner that she had been instructed to wait.
Many older gentlemen gave her a long lookover.
She was often grateful she lived in America.
Her father showed up,
thirty minutes exactly after he dropped her off.
She started to climb into the car when he stopped her.
"Your hands are empty."
She found nothing wrong with this.
"I told you to grab the other menus too.
You ingrate of a child!
You know the punishment for not doing as I say."
He pushed his daughter out and locked the door.
Looking forward, he commanded,
"Walk home safely, and don't be late for dinner."
And he drove off.
The girl slumped down.
She was not surprised by her father's actions.
As she remained there on the corner,
she posed a question to herself:
Do I really want to go home?
September 16, 2009
Update
Sorry for not posting anything in a while.
As some of you know,
I mainly write on Facebook.
I just haven't felt like transferring them lately,
as often happens with me.
But, I'm trying to get myself together,
and soon, I'll start bringing you thr funk
for all of you who aren't friends with me on Facebook.
Til then, later.
....
Oh, and follow me at twitter.com/cgwacko
No ego. Haha
As some of you know,
I mainly write on Facebook.
I just haven't felt like transferring them lately,
as often happens with me.
But, I'm trying to get myself together,
and soon, I'll start bringing you thr funk
for all of you who aren't friends with me on Facebook.
Til then, later.
....
Oh, and follow me at twitter.com/cgwacko
No ego. Haha
September 4, 2009
Being John Malkovich or In Their Shoes
It is to my understanding that we all wish to be someone else from time to time,
from the lowest of the low
to the highest of the high.
I mean yes,
we love ourselves,
but there's always at least the curiousity as to what it would be like to live a day in the life of someone else.
Well,
imagine there was a way to be someone else.
There's this movie called Being John Malkovich.
I really wanna see it.
Basically this guy finds this little portal
that allows him to become John Malkovich,
like literally take over his body and be him.
If you don't know who Malkovich is, google him.
Soon, he starts charging people to use the portal.
But I think if he uses it too many times,
he'll actually be stuck as John Malkovich,
not completely sure.
It sounds interesting; the weird kinda flick I'd be into.
Anyway,
I say this because I feel like we'll have the technology
to one day have people become other people,
as like a virtual reality holiday or something.
But it could be stressful.
Think about it.
Everyone has their ups,
but they also have their downs.
Their struggles may be much more than you could have ever imagined,
mostly because you probably thought you wouldn't have to encounter them.
Remember, if everyone wants to be someone else,
and you start life as someone else,
you'll just continuely want to escape to the next person you want to be,
hoping the hardships will be easier to handle.
But who's to say?
You were given your own troubles and woes for a reason;
they are yours to learn from.
Take responsibility for yourself,
and please stop wishing to be someone else.
Trust.
from the lowest of the low
to the highest of the high.
I mean yes,
we love ourselves,
but there's always at least the curiousity as to what it would be like to live a day in the life of someone else.
Well,
imagine there was a way to be someone else.
There's this movie called Being John Malkovich.
I really wanna see it.
Basically this guy finds this little portal
that allows him to become John Malkovich,
like literally take over his body and be him.
If you don't know who Malkovich is, google him.
Soon, he starts charging people to use the portal.
But I think if he uses it too many times,
he'll actually be stuck as John Malkovich,
not completely sure.
It sounds interesting; the weird kinda flick I'd be into.
Anyway,
I say this because I feel like we'll have the technology
to one day have people become other people,
as like a virtual reality holiday or something.
But it could be stressful.
Think about it.
Everyone has their ups,
but they also have their downs.
Their struggles may be much more than you could have ever imagined,
mostly because you probably thought you wouldn't have to encounter them.
Remember, if everyone wants to be someone else,
and you start life as someone else,
you'll just continuely want to escape to the next person you want to be,
hoping the hardships will be easier to handle.
But who's to say?
You were given your own troubles and woes for a reason;
they are yours to learn from.
Take responsibility for yourself,
and please stop wishing to be someone else.
Trust.
September 3, 2009
Blitz
You know how things can change outta nowhere?
Don't you hate that?
Well, I like to refer to it as a blitz.
This unexpected change just rushes at you,
it stuns you,
it makes you reconsider what you were about to do,
and then it hits you.
Sometimes you can adapt to it,
but other times you can only fall flat on your face.
I bring this up cause I experienced a couple blitzes this past month.
Well, for one, the line of work I was in this summer
always had a schedule subject to change.
And a week or so ago, it completely changed for the whole week.
Luckily, I hadn't made any plans yet,
but it went from half days to whole days and then some each day.
But I knew what I had signed up for.
Ah, a good one.
I signed up for this one biology class on insects to fulfill my core requirement.
Mid-August, they announced the class had been changed to forensic science.
As interesting as that sounded, I wasn't sure I was up for it.
So I add/dropped it and got into a 10am Theology on MWF.
I don't like classes before noon, but this one is okay.
Speaking of classes before noon,
I had a 11am on TTh's,
an English one,
but I had to add/drop that one too.
She was tryna go hard...like OD hard.
I could just tell I was gonna end up falling behind
with all the other things I'm tryna do this semester.
So now, I'm in this other biology class about the environment.
Seems interesting so far,
and it's at 1 MWF. :-)
Lastly,
I was in the loop,
one could say,
and was able to know what the musical for the fall might be.
At first, it was between a popular musical that would have just been wrong for the cast we have on tap currently, Rent, and one that would have been perfect for us, Reefer Madness.
Trust me, my summer roommate and I watched it and cast it ourselves. Haha.
Sometime mid-summer,
it was switched to another popular musical, A Chorus Line.
While this was great for my roommate and I,
for we once again watched and cast,
it was still not the best choice for our somewhat stiff cast of actors on tap.
You know... cause there's a lot of dancing.
So, I was prepared for A Chorus Line,
thinking I had a chance.
Then... a week or 2 ago,
the show changes to Chicago.
Turns out that was the plan all along,
just was waiting on the licensing to go through.
...I have yet to see Chicago.
I know it loosely.... but still...
Well... chorus actor, here I come again.
Life is full of Blitz,
some easier to recover from than others.
But always recover from them,
don't dwell on them,
otherwise you'll just make yourself upset.
Word.
Don't you hate that?
Well, I like to refer to it as a blitz.
This unexpected change just rushes at you,
it stuns you,
it makes you reconsider what you were about to do,
and then it hits you.
Sometimes you can adapt to it,
but other times you can only fall flat on your face.
I bring this up cause I experienced a couple blitzes this past month.
Well, for one, the line of work I was in this summer
always had a schedule subject to change.
And a week or so ago, it completely changed for the whole week.
Luckily, I hadn't made any plans yet,
but it went from half days to whole days and then some each day.
But I knew what I had signed up for.
Ah, a good one.
I signed up for this one biology class on insects to fulfill my core requirement.
Mid-August, they announced the class had been changed to forensic science.
As interesting as that sounded, I wasn't sure I was up for it.
So I add/dropped it and got into a 10am Theology on MWF.
I don't like classes before noon, but this one is okay.
Speaking of classes before noon,
I had a 11am on TTh's,
an English one,
but I had to add/drop that one too.
She was tryna go hard...like OD hard.
I could just tell I was gonna end up falling behind
with all the other things I'm tryna do this semester.
So now, I'm in this other biology class about the environment.
Seems interesting so far,
and it's at 1 MWF. :-)
Lastly,
I was in the loop,
one could say,
and was able to know what the musical for the fall might be.
At first, it was between a popular musical that would have just been wrong for the cast we have on tap currently, Rent, and one that would have been perfect for us, Reefer Madness.
Trust me, my summer roommate and I watched it and cast it ourselves. Haha.
Sometime mid-summer,
it was switched to another popular musical, A Chorus Line.
While this was great for my roommate and I,
for we once again watched and cast,
it was still not the best choice for our somewhat stiff cast of actors on tap.
You know... cause there's a lot of dancing.
So, I was prepared for A Chorus Line,
thinking I had a chance.
Then... a week or 2 ago,
the show changes to Chicago.
Turns out that was the plan all along,
just was waiting on the licensing to go through.
...I have yet to see Chicago.
I know it loosely.... but still...
Well... chorus actor, here I come again.
Life is full of Blitz,
some easier to recover from than others.
But always recover from them,
don't dwell on them,
otherwise you'll just make yourself upset.
Word.
September 2, 2009
Bar O' Soap
Okay, real serious question here...
Am I the only one that still washes with a bar of soap instead of body wash?
I mean,
I'm starting to feel as if I'm the only one
showering like a prison inmate minus the fear of dropping the soap.
If anything, I'm practicing not to just in case...
you know, cause black men like to get locked in jail for no reason. :-/
Anyway,I started to notice this freshmen year.
Outta about... 18 guys in my hallway,
I think I was the only one who used a bar,
as far as I could tell from walkin into their bathrooms.
I noticed the same last year and even this year in my room.
The shower is decked out in bottles of body wash and shampoo.
I feel so outta date with my lil bar of soap and its green soap box.
Why is body wash such a big hit with guys?
Is it because of soap scum?
Which I never really got in the first place.
Even if it is scum, it's still soap.
What's dirty about soap?
If any germs get on it, shouldn't the soap kill it?
Maybe I need a scientist to explain it to me.
I bet it won't even be long
before hotels start giving out little bottles of body wash and liquid soap
instead of soap bars.
I don't know,
I'm not too much a fan of the body wash.
I mean yeah,
it seems convienent and quick and easy,
but I feel like the smell really lingers,
which isn't always a good thing.
You ever smell something that tries too hard to smell good?
It's not very pleasing to the nose.
Also, like most black people,
I am accustomed to using a washcloth when I shower.
This is because when you share the soap at home,
you don't want to be using no soap with somebody else's body hair on it.
Ill... ick... nasty.
I feel like body wash is attempting to get rid of washclothes,
which I also am not a fan of.
Again,
maybe it's just me.
But until I'm convinced otherwise,
my Zest soap will suit me just fine.
Word.
Am I the only one that still washes with a bar of soap instead of body wash?
I mean,
I'm starting to feel as if I'm the only one
showering like a prison inmate minus the fear of dropping the soap.
If anything, I'm practicing not to just in case...
you know, cause black men like to get locked in jail for no reason. :-/
Anyway,I started to notice this freshmen year.
Outta about... 18 guys in my hallway,
I think I was the only one who used a bar,
as far as I could tell from walkin into their bathrooms.
I noticed the same last year and even this year in my room.
The shower is decked out in bottles of body wash and shampoo.
I feel so outta date with my lil bar of soap and its green soap box.
Why is body wash such a big hit with guys?
Is it because of soap scum?
Which I never really got in the first place.
Even if it is scum, it's still soap.
What's dirty about soap?
If any germs get on it, shouldn't the soap kill it?
Maybe I need a scientist to explain it to me.
I bet it won't even be long
before hotels start giving out little bottles of body wash and liquid soap
instead of soap bars.
I don't know,
I'm not too much a fan of the body wash.
I mean yeah,
it seems convienent and quick and easy,
but I feel like the smell really lingers,
which isn't always a good thing.
You ever smell something that tries too hard to smell good?
It's not very pleasing to the nose.
Also, like most black people,
I am accustomed to using a washcloth when I shower.
This is because when you share the soap at home,
you don't want to be using no soap with somebody else's body hair on it.
Ill... ick... nasty.
I feel like body wash is attempting to get rid of washclothes,
which I also am not a fan of.
Again,
maybe it's just me.
But until I'm convinced otherwise,
my Zest soap will suit me just fine.
Word.
September 1, 2009
Abs VS Flab
Okay, fun fact:
Before I came to college,
I weighed a measly 147 lbs.
Around the end of my freshmen year in college,
I was about 174 lbs, I think.
Yup, I traded my very slender physique
for a heavier one.
My abs slowly but surely developed into a gut,
one I still carry.
It can just be hard to tell because I suck it in.
I've become very good at this,
except for after I eat a lot.
Anyway,
I'm bringing this to light now
because during the summer,
I did a lot of physical labor.
Therefore, I have actually begun to develop muscles.
My biceps are starting to firm up,
and my chest is gettin bigger.
The only thing that really remains the same is my stomach.
Now, I can suck it in
so that it appears as a set of very fleshy abs...
with small love handles on the side.
What I'm tryna figure out now is do I wanna start workin out
and become a lean mean grillin machine again.
I mean, I do want to have like that nice beach bod again...
but there's something nice about a gut.
It's kinda comfortable
and fun to play with if you know what I mean.
As a skinny kid,
I had always wondered what it would be like to be fat.
I kinda know now, because I don't ever really plan on gettin "big" big.
Also,
did you know that the gut is kind of a trend now?
Yeah, not sure how this happened,
but some article I read said
a belly on guys was becoming part of this hipster uniform or something.
You know,
girth was a sign of wealth and power back in the Ye Ole days.
Maybe such is making a comeback of sorts.
Being in shape can be overrated anyway.
It's a bunch of pain and struggle,
and if you get real big and muscular,
it usually ends up turnin into fat or ugly/odd lookin muscle when you get older.
So, I'm still undecided at the moment.
But at the moment I'm leanin towards flab.
I mean ey,
it's easier to get to and maintain.
Word.
Before I came to college,
I weighed a measly 147 lbs.
Around the end of my freshmen year in college,
I was about 174 lbs, I think.
Yup, I traded my very slender physique
for a heavier one.
My abs slowly but surely developed into a gut,
one I still carry.
It can just be hard to tell because I suck it in.
I've become very good at this,
except for after I eat a lot.
Anyway,
I'm bringing this to light now
because during the summer,
I did a lot of physical labor.
Therefore, I have actually begun to develop muscles.
My biceps are starting to firm up,
and my chest is gettin bigger.
The only thing that really remains the same is my stomach.
Now, I can suck it in
so that it appears as a set of very fleshy abs...
with small love handles on the side.
What I'm tryna figure out now is do I wanna start workin out
and become a lean mean grillin machine again.
I mean, I do want to have like that nice beach bod again...
but there's something nice about a gut.
It's kinda comfortable
and fun to play with if you know what I mean.
As a skinny kid,
I had always wondered what it would be like to be fat.
I kinda know now, because I don't ever really plan on gettin "big" big.
Also,
did you know that the gut is kind of a trend now?
Yeah, not sure how this happened,
but some article I read said
a belly on guys was becoming part of this hipster uniform or something.
You know,
girth was a sign of wealth and power back in the Ye Ole days.
Maybe such is making a comeback of sorts.
Being in shape can be overrated anyway.
It's a bunch of pain and struggle,
and if you get real big and muscular,
it usually ends up turnin into fat or ugly/odd lookin muscle when you get older.
So, I'm still undecided at the moment.
But at the moment I'm leanin towards flab.
I mean ey,
it's easier to get to and maintain.
Word.
August 31, 2009
Summer Break
Uhn. Yes yes ya'll.
And it don't stop.
Back from my hiatus to give you the blog you all adore,
no ego. [Yes, I will be tryin to make that a thing. haha]
Tonight I'm talkin about summer breaks.
Not so much summer breaks themselves,
but you know how we've all been away from each other
and then we come back to college.
We ask each other how our summer went,
and we give the same overview just about:
Work, chilled. Nothin much.
If we went on a trip,
we mention it,
but of course no details.
We're much too busy for that.
You know us and our fast paced lives.
But it is what it is.
If any big details need to come up from a crazy summer,
it'll come up doin a game of kings during never have I ever.
But you know,
someone mentioned that like when we all finish our sophmore year of college,
we all work for the summer and don't do much else.
This is type true.
I found myself slavin for the most part.
I mean, I did attend some parties here and there,
but only because I was on campus.
And the parties were basically with just the people I worked with.
I'm tellin you,
college may be a great time,
but it prepares you for the multitude of boring summers that are to come.
Now, don't get me wrong.
This has been probably my best summer so far.
This seems to be true for most of the people I spent this summer with as well.
Maybe it being the last summer before we can't go oh-[insert single digit] helped.
Okay, I'll tell the high points of my summer.
This way, if someone asks me what I did this summer,
I can just be like, "Look at the blog, bitch." [no ego]
So okay:
-ended up runnin a naked lap; the one guy hit 7 in a row, hit the last cup, and then his partner hit the last cup too, so we had no rebutale. They are simply sick with theirs.
-went to PRIDE in NYC and ended up gettin redressed in super tight clothes upon my arrival; fun night though.
-roomed with an asian that exposed me to great youtube videos and repeatedly beat my ass in Scrabble
-helped the same asian make videos that were both hilarious yet meaningful for his certain someone
-worked from 11pm to 5am and started drinkin with coworkers soon after, watchin the sunrise as we did it. pure classiness.
-watch my roommate get fired and rehired in the same day.
-expanded my movie collection
-oh, found a couch while on the job and got to keep it
-made a lot of cool new friends, you all know who you all
-and last big thing was goin to Philly to visit a high school friend; good times.
Those were the high points of my summer, my dear friends [and associates].
I hope you all had an equally enjoyable summer,
and may the upcoming semester or work season treat you well.
Word.
And it don't stop.
Back from my hiatus to give you the blog you all adore,
no ego. [Yes, I will be tryin to make that a thing. haha]
Tonight I'm talkin about summer breaks.
Not so much summer breaks themselves,
but you know how we've all been away from each other
and then we come back to college.
We ask each other how our summer went,
and we give the same overview just about:
Work, chilled. Nothin much.
If we went on a trip,
we mention it,
but of course no details.
We're much too busy for that.
You know us and our fast paced lives.
But it is what it is.
If any big details need to come up from a crazy summer,
it'll come up doin a game of kings during never have I ever.
But you know,
someone mentioned that like when we all finish our sophmore year of college,
we all work for the summer and don't do much else.
This is type true.
I found myself slavin for the most part.
I mean, I did attend some parties here and there,
but only because I was on campus.
And the parties were basically with just the people I worked with.
I'm tellin you,
college may be a great time,
but it prepares you for the multitude of boring summers that are to come.
Now, don't get me wrong.
This has been probably my best summer so far.
This seems to be true for most of the people I spent this summer with as well.
Maybe it being the last summer before we can't go oh-[insert single digit] helped.
Okay, I'll tell the high points of my summer.
This way, if someone asks me what I did this summer,
I can just be like, "Look at the blog, bitch." [no ego]
So okay:
-ended up runnin a naked lap; the one guy hit 7 in a row, hit the last cup, and then his partner hit the last cup too, so we had no rebutale. They are simply sick with theirs.
-went to PRIDE in NYC and ended up gettin redressed in super tight clothes upon my arrival; fun night though.
-roomed with an asian that exposed me to great youtube videos and repeatedly beat my ass in Scrabble
-helped the same asian make videos that were both hilarious yet meaningful for his certain someone
-worked from 11pm to 5am and started drinkin with coworkers soon after, watchin the sunrise as we did it. pure classiness.
-watch my roommate get fired and rehired in the same day.
-expanded my movie collection
-oh, found a couch while on the job and got to keep it
-made a lot of cool new friends, you all know who you all
-and last big thing was goin to Philly to visit a high school friend; good times.
Those were the high points of my summer, my dear friends [and associates].
I hope you all had an equally enjoyable summer,
and may the upcoming semester or work season treat you well.
Word.
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