April 24, 2012

FIW Posts: Words from a Guest

Through the magic that is this week
I have acquired... an indentured servant if you will.
More on that later tonight.
Prepare yourselves, my dear friends [and associates],
for the first guest blogger on the Wacko Monologues ever!
Here to present his views on Loyola theatre and myself,
I'd like to introduce to you all Matt Rosenthal.

~


Hi Everybody,
As Charles just said, my name is Matt Rosenthal and I'm his freshman servant for this second day of FIW. Right off the bat I'd like to apologize if this isn't the most well written entry, as I'm new to blogging. With that being said I guess I'll offer my take on Loyola theatre.

Coming from a Catholic all-boys high school in Baltimore City, I was instantly surprised how much one could get away with in college theatre. I acted all throughout high school, and all of the plays/musicals that were done were pretty average in terms of raunchiness. Some stage violence, maybe a use of the word "damn," nothing special. However when I got here I felt a great sense of freedom. Sex, violence, there's not much that can't really be done on the college level. Secondly, after being cast in "The Rimers of Eldritch," I immediately noticed the sense of camaraderie within the cast and crew. The high school I came from was dramatic to say the least. The cast was always split into at least two parts and didn't really agree on a single thing together. This isn't the case here. It's everyone together and although there may be some disagreements, most if not everyone, would step up if one man or woman goes down. A great example of this is the last show of "Titanic" when one cast member injured himself 3 scenes into the show. Instantly everyone stepped up their game and we were able to finish the show, with people filling in for him in scenes and others taking his lines. That's a sign of not a few good friends, but a family. With Loyola theatre, I truly feel like it's a family.

Now onto my companion for the day Charles.
I see Charles as my mentor/idol here at Loyola. When I was nervous and freaked out on my first call with Event Services, I looked at Charles to give me help, since he was the only person I knew pretty much. I see the way he carries himself and I try to mimic it. Charles has his own sense of style and confidence about himself, a characteristic which I can only hope to try to attain in the next few years. It's also one of the reasons I picked him for my impersonation. I'll be honest and say that I didn't give it a whole lot of thought, which is something I dearly regret. I took a quick walk back to my room and started to realize what I had forgot to include in my impersonation. From this blog, to jokes about Events Services, and especially the way he dances. When I woke up this morning and read the impression post on here, I was instantly frustrated and got kinda down. I hate disappointing people and to disappoint someone I look up to made it 10x worse. I wish I could spend more time with Charles, cause I feel like I could learn a lot from him. I also wish him the best of luck in the future and hopes he visits sometime next semester.
Well I better get going, it's been an honor and a pleasure to be the first guest writer on the Wacko Monologues and an honor to be Charles' servant for the day.

Wishing peace, love, and good music since 1993,
Matt Rosenthal

~

...what, I'm not crying. What are you talking about?
Good job, Matt. Excellent post.
Word.

FIW Posts: The Art of Impersonating

For one odd reason or another,
a certain group I'm involved in
held a night of upperclassmen impersonations.
Overall the freshmen and other newbies renditions of their elders provide hilarious.
However, a few managed to fall flat,
one of which happens to be the lad who portrayed yours truly.

Out of all the freshmen,
I expected him to do the best job of doing me.
We knows me in two different areas of my campus life. I had him over half an hour ago to inform him how he failed me.

For starters,
he didn't talk but mumbled the whole time.
Yes, I have had struggles with my speech impediment in the past,
but for the purposes of an impersonation
he should have moved pass that obstacle in a comical way
and proceed into a hysterical monologue
that involved various aspects of my life.
He harped on one topic only: one of my mishaps with a boy.
To top it off, his portrayal was the shortest of all the acts.
I wanted more bang for my buck.

In his defense, my standards were very high.
A lad two years ago annihilated me with his rendition of Charles Clark.
He managed to include this blog, the various men I had hit on,
and he managed to copy a drunken dance of mines nearly perfectly.
Also his make-up and wardrobe were more on point.
He actually managed to steal my clothes his year.

In the past, some impersonators may have gone too far,
spilling a bit more T (truth) than necessary.
There have also been people who are too sensitive.
But this year all seemed to be fine.
All jabs were taken in jest with the best of spirits.

But I will say this.
The lad who impersonated me isn't done yet.
I have something in store for him tomorrow
that you will all be able to witness.
I am is master for the next 23 hours after all.
Word.

April 10, 2012

Queer Offspring

A couple weeks ago, I used Facebook to creep
on a guy from high school who has a kid now.
The little guy has to be at least two.
That freaks me out, man:
the thought of people I know having kids.
I went to an all boys high school,
so teenage pregnancy wasn't really a thing.

As a queer, I consider it lucky that I can never have an unexpected child (unless one of my sisters die and I'm charged with taking care of their seeds but perish that thought).
Still, the idea of kids is a weird thing in general. No matter what, a third party has to get involved.

Back in the days when I thought I was straight, I was dead set on having three boys:
Charles Montgomery, Maverick, and Vincent.
Don't ask me why I picked Maverick;
I was a weird kid, all right.
And I feel like my first born would be pretentious,
so Montgomery fits as a middle name.
But now there's like a 66% chance the kid
wouldn't be related to me when I am ready to be a dad
and that blows my high.

There's always the option of the whole sperm mixing thing
but I have a feeling I'm going to end up with a white guy.
It'll be clear whose kid it is.

So now's the time I ask myself: do I really want kids?
Does it really matter if they're related to me?
I feel as if I'd really have to be ready for a kid in my life
to accept an adopted child.
Otherwise I'd always be thinking, "You ain't mines,"
and that's not fair to them.

Before I can even have a kid, though,
I need a husband or partner
or whatever they'd want to be called.
I really don't care either way.
As long as I get to call you mines
and I'm yours, I'm happy.
I'm a romantic like that.

I wonder how NPH and Burtka operate.
I feel like they're every romantic gay male's role models right now.

As a queer who's only had one boyfriend ever
I can see myself at 35 still waiting for a mate, let alone a kid.
I somehow doubt most adoption agencies
allow a single man/woman to take care of a kid.
Even if they do, it'd be an even harder battle
for a single gay guy/gal to adopt.

Would a woman be willing to carry a baby knowing
I'd be the only one taking care of him or her?
Even with a partner of my own,
I feel she would want to be involved.
It came out of her;
she's bound to be emotionally attached to some extent.
To be honest, I couldn't raise a kid by myself.
I don't see myself being anywhere near responsible or selfless
enough for that anytime in the near future.

I suppose in a way that answers my question.
I mean, obviously I don't want a kid now.
I'm only nearing my mid-20s;
there's too much responsible yet reckless living I have left to do.

However, I look forward to the day I find a guy to settle down with.
And if by some (likely) chance he doesn't want kids at all,
I'm patient enough to wait him out until he does.
That's what dogs are for, right?
Word