Lil Asian Chinese Menu Delivery Girl

The little Asian Girl heard the bell ring.
The school day was over.
She walked out of the classroom into the hallway.
She wobbled through to the main entrance,
as she had not let grown into her weight.
Upon her exit, a horn honked at her: her ride.
She hopped into the passenger's seat.

As the car pulled off,
the day's stack of menus dropped in her lap.
She looked up at the driver,
her eyes showing want for ice cream or whatever it is that children wish for nowadays.
Without looking at her the driver said,
"If you want somethng, you'll have to wait til after you do your homework. And you can only do your homework once you finish your job, which will help you buy whatever you want yourself."
The girl had spited her father for some time now,
but never spoke on it,
out of respect for the man.

They arrived at a college campus.
"I'll be back for you in half an hour."
The girl got out of the car and began to walk away.
"And make sure you take out any other Chinese menus you see."
As she walked around the campus,
she could feel the stares of the students.
She always felt out of place,
especially at this campus,
with its many white suburban kids.
She kept in mind that she would avoid applying to this school when the time came.

She knocked on front door after front door,
let in by whatever student happened to be working the desk in front.
They watched her with curiosity as he hobbled to the desk and stood on tippy-toes to place the menus down.
She could hardly tell if any other menus resided up there.

When she no longer had any menus in hand,
she stood on the corner that she had been instructed to wait.
Many older gentlemen gave her a long lookover.
She was often grateful she lived in America.

Her father showed up,
thirty minutes exactly after he dropped her off.
She started to climb into the car when he stopped her.
"Your hands are empty."
She found nothing wrong with this.
"I told you to grab the other menus too.
You ingrate of a child!
You know the punishment for not doing as I say."
He pushed his daughter out and locked the door.
Looking forward, he commanded,
"Walk home safely, and don't be late for dinner."
And he drove off.

The girl slumped down.
She was not surprised by her father's actions.
As she remained there on the corner,
she posed a question to herself:
Do I really want to go home?

Update

Sorry for not posting anything in a while.
As some of you know,
I mainly write on Facebook.
I just haven't felt like transferring them lately,
as often happens with me.
But, I'm trying to get myself together,
and soon, I'll start bringing you thr funk
for all of you who aren't friends with me on Facebook.
Til then, later.
....
Oh, and follow me at twitter.com/cgwacko
No ego. Haha

Being John Malkovich or In Their Shoes

It is to my understanding that we all wish to be someone else from time to time,
from the lowest of the low
to the highest of the high.
I mean yes,
we love ourselves,
but there's always at least the curiousity as to what it would be like to live a day in the life of someone else.

Well,
imagine there was a way to be someone else.
There's this movie called Being John Malkovich.
I really wanna see it.
Basically this guy finds this little portal
that allows him to become John Malkovich,
like literally take over his body and be him.
If you don't know who Malkovich is, google him.
Soon, he starts charging people to use the portal.
But I think if he uses it too many times,
he'll actually be stuck as John Malkovich,
not completely sure.
It sounds interesting; the weird kinda flick I'd be into.

Anyway,
I say this because I feel like we'll have the technology
to one day have people become other people,
as like a virtual reality holiday or something.
But it could be stressful.
Think about it.
Everyone has their ups,
but they also have their downs.
Their struggles may be much more than you could have ever imagined,
mostly because you probably thought you wouldn't have to encounter them.
Remember, if everyone wants to be someone else,
and you start life as someone else,
you'll just continuely want to escape to the next person you want to be,
hoping the hardships will be easier to handle.
But who's to say?
You were given your own troubles and woes for a reason;
they are yours to learn from.
Take responsibility for yourself,
and please stop wishing to be someone else.
Trust.

Blitz

You know how things can change outta nowhere?
Don't you hate that?
Well, I like to refer to it as a blitz.

This unexpected change just rushes at you,
it stuns you,
it makes you reconsider what you were about to do,
and then it hits you.
Sometimes you can adapt to it,
but other times you can only fall flat on your face.

I bring this up cause I experienced a couple blitzes this past month.
Well, for one, the line of work I was in this summer
always had a schedule subject to change.
And a week or so ago, it completely changed for the whole week.
Luckily, I hadn't made any plans yet,
but it went from half days to whole days and then some each day.
But I knew what I had signed up for.

Ah, a good one.
I signed up for this one biology class on insects to fulfill my core requirement.
Mid-August, they announced the class had been changed to forensic science.
As interesting as that sounded, I wasn't sure I was up for it.
So I add/dropped it and got into a 10am Theology on MWF.
I don't like classes before noon, but this one is okay.
Speaking of classes before noon,
I had a 11am on TTh's,
an English one,
but I had to add/drop that one too.
She was tryna go hard...like OD hard.
I could just tell I was gonna end up falling behind
with all the other things I'm tryna do this semester.
So now, I'm in this other biology class about the environment.
Seems interesting so far,
and it's at 1 MWF. :-)

Lastly,
I was in the loop,
one could say,
and was able to know what the musical for the fall might be.
At first, it was between a popular musical that would have just been wrong for the cast we have on tap currently, Rent, and one that would have been perfect for us, Reefer Madness.
Trust me, my summer roommate and I watched it and cast it ourselves. Haha.
Sometime mid-summer,
it was switched to another popular musical, A Chorus Line.
While this was great for my roommate and I,
for we once again watched and cast,
it was still not the best choice for our somewhat stiff cast of actors on tap.
You know... cause there's a lot of dancing.
So, I was prepared for A Chorus Line,
thinking I had a chance.
Then... a week or 2 ago,
the show changes to Chicago.
Turns out that was the plan all along,
just was waiting on the licensing to go through.
...I have yet to see Chicago.
I know it loosely.... but still...
Well... chorus actor, here I come again.

Life is full of Blitz,
some easier to recover from than others.
But always recover from them,
don't dwell on them,
otherwise you'll just make yourself upset.
Word.

Bar O' Soap

Okay, real serious question here...
Am I the only one that still washes with a bar of soap instead of body wash?

I mean,
I'm starting to feel as if I'm the only one
showering like a prison inmate minus the fear of dropping the soap.
If anything, I'm practicing not to just in case...
you know, cause black men like to get locked in jail for no reason. :-/

Anyway,I started to notice this freshmen year.
Outta about... 18 guys in my hallway,
I think I was the only one who used a bar,
as far as I could tell from walkin into their bathrooms.
I noticed the same last year and even this year in my room.
The shower is decked out in bottles of body wash and shampoo.
I feel so outta date with my lil bar of soap and its green soap box.

Why is body wash such a big hit with guys?
Is it because of soap scum?
Which I never really got in the first place.
Even if it is scum, it's still soap.
What's dirty about soap?
If any germs get on it, shouldn't the soap kill it?
Maybe I need a scientist to explain it to me.

I bet it won't even be long
before hotels start giving out little bottles of body wash and liquid soap
instead of soap bars.

I don't know,
I'm not too much a fan of the body wash.
I mean yeah,
it seems convienent and quick and easy,
but I feel like the smell really lingers,
which isn't always a good thing.
You ever smell something that tries too hard to smell good?
It's not very pleasing to the nose.
Also, like most black people,
I am accustomed to using a washcloth when I shower.
This is because when you share the soap at home,
you don't want to be using no soap with somebody else's body hair on it.
Ill... ick... nasty.
I feel like body wash is attempting to get rid of washclothes,
which I also am not a fan of.

Again,
maybe it's just me.
But until I'm convinced otherwise,
my Zest soap will suit me just fine.
Word.

Abs VS Flab

Okay, fun fact:
Before I came to college,
I weighed a measly 147 lbs.
Around the end of my freshmen year in college,
I was about 174 lbs, I think.
Yup, I traded my very slender physique
for a heavier one.
My abs slowly but surely developed into a gut,
one I still carry.
It can just be hard to tell because I suck it in.
I've become very good at this,
except for after I eat a lot.

Anyway,
I'm bringing this to light now
because during the summer,
I did a lot of physical labor.
Therefore, I have actually begun to develop muscles.
My biceps are starting to firm up,
and my chest is gettin bigger.
The only thing that really remains the same is my stomach.

Now, I can suck it in
so that it appears as a set of very fleshy abs...
with small love handles on the side.
What I'm tryna figure out now is do I wanna start workin out
and become a lean mean grillin machine again.
I mean, I do want to have like that nice beach bod again...
but there's something nice about a gut.
It's kinda comfortable
and fun to play with if you know what I mean.
As a skinny kid,
I had always wondered what it would be like to be fat.
I kinda know now, because I don't ever really plan on gettin "big" big.

Also,
did you know that the gut is kind of a trend now?
Yeah, not sure how this happened,
but some article I read said
a belly on guys was becoming part of this hipster uniform or something.
You know,
girth was a sign of wealth and power back in the Ye Ole days.
Maybe such is making a comeback of sorts.
Being in shape can be overrated anyway.
It's a bunch of pain and struggle,
and if you get real big and muscular,
it usually ends up turnin into fat or ugly/odd lookin muscle when you get older.

So, I'm still undecided at the moment.
But at the moment I'm leanin towards flab.
I mean ey,
it's easier to get to and maintain.
Word.

Summer Break

Uhn. Yes yes ya'll.
And it don't stop.
Back from my hiatus to give you the blog you all adore,
no ego. [Yes, I will be tryin to make that a thing. haha]

Tonight I'm talkin about summer breaks.
Not so much summer breaks themselves,
but you know how we've all been away from each other
and then we come back to college.
We ask each other how our summer went,
and we give the same overview just about:
Work, chilled. Nothin much.
If we went on a trip,
we mention it,
but of course no details.
We're much too busy for that.
You know us and our fast paced lives.
But it is what it is.
If any big details need to come up from a crazy summer,
it'll come up doin a game of kings during never have I ever.

But you know,
someone mentioned that like when we all finish our sophmore year of college,
we all work for the summer and don't do much else.
This is type true.
I found myself slavin for the most part.
I mean, I did attend some parties here and there,
but only because I was on campus.
And the parties were basically with just the people I worked with.
I'm tellin you,
college may be a great time,
but it prepares you for the multitude of boring summers that are to come.

Now, don't get me wrong.
This has been probably my best summer so far.
This seems to be true for most of the people I spent this summer with as well.
Maybe it being the last summer before we can't go oh-[insert single digit] helped.

Okay, I'll tell the high points of my summer.
This way, if someone asks me what I did this summer,
I can just be like, "Look at the blog, bitch." [no ego]
So okay:
-ended up runnin a naked lap; the one guy hit 7 in a row, hit the last cup, and then his partner hit the last cup too, so we had no rebutale. They are simply sick with theirs.
-went to PRIDE in NYC and ended up gettin redressed in super tight clothes upon my arrival; fun night though.
-roomed with an asian that exposed me to great youtube videos and repeatedly beat my ass in Scrabble
-helped the same asian make videos that were both hilarious yet meaningful for his certain someone
-worked from 11pm to 5am and started drinkin with coworkers soon after, watchin the sunrise as we did it. pure classiness.
-watch my roommate get fired and rehired in the same day.
-expanded my movie collection
-oh, found a couch while on the job and got to keep it
-made a lot of cool new friends, you all know who you all
-and last big thing was goin to Philly to visit a high school friend; good times.

Those were the high points of my summer, my dear friends [and associates].
I hope you all had an equally enjoyable summer,
and may the upcoming semester or work season treat you well.
Word.