Last of the Grunts

Fluorescent lights buzzed and flickered over an elongated meeting table. Six people sat spread out around the table, a store bought cherry pie placed in the middle with a short stack of paper plates and plastic utensils. Daniel smiled at Tameeka knowing she was the one who advised against a farewell cake: too many carbs, not enough fruit. It was the least she could do, thanking him for saving her sanity.

Roughly three years ago, they and two others in their mid-to-late twenties were hired to help GlamTrek improve their outreach campaign and social media strategies. The glamour of the new job wore off after a month, but there was comradery among the recent recruits. Of one of two black people hired, Tameeka felt an instant connection yet rivalry with Belinda that she would never admit. They fought desperately for Daniel’s attention, but only she realized he was a discreet bisexual leaning more towards homosexuality but acknowledging anyone could be fun.

Three months into their employment, Ronnie was fired for stealing office supplies and petty cash. Tameeka didn’t blame him; they made well over minimum wage, but that still wasn’t much considering the price of living. Realizing that not even a white boy could get away with theft, the rest of the crew tightened up. Being closer to thirty than the rest of them, Tameeka fell into a self-appointed sense of leadership; her additional real world experience and knack for organization didn’t hurt either. It was then that she realized Belinda never saw her as a rival but as a partner who could do the things she didn’t want to do. This worked in both of their favors, because Tameeka despised handling any work with the community or strangers.

Being a woman of connections, however, Belinda left in a year’s time to become a social media manager for a new startup with better pay and better hours. Around the same time, Daniel started grad school. With Belinda phasing herself out, he naturally stepped into the community liaison role, learning that he had a passion for therapy. Over the remaining two years, he and Tameeka traded jokes and 90s references whenever they were both in the office. He was there for her when she foolishly tried to pick up the new girl Patricia and failed. She was there for him whenever he needed to complain about homework or a professor. He was such a good work friend, Tameeka invited him to her apartment whenever they had an evening work event. They would pregame with hard seltzers and grenadine, trading stories they couldn’t share in the office before running down the block to make their call time.

It was a whirlwind of fun that made a boring job exciting, but as they sat in the conference room accompanied by their two bosses, a programming manager, and Patricia, Tameeka began to evaluate her life. She was stuck between leveling up and plateauing at a position now attracting Generation Zoomers. Her work was consistent and appreciated, but would she want to progress in a place she had no allies? Worrylines attacking her forehead, Daniel nudged her with a piece of pie. She refused but felt him slide a fork into her hand and mouth “relax” as their highest level boss congratulated him on his next step across the country.

Pulling him aside, Tameeka made him promise to stay in contact. As a sign of good faith, he offered her one last piece of office gossip: he slept with Patricia last week. Stunned by the news, she instinctively turned her head and saw Patricia walking towards them. Tameeka avoided eye contact as they exchanged goodbyes. Then she felt a feminine touch on her shoulder. “Well, it’s just us now. We might as well be besties.” She looked up with a puzzled look on her face, slowly transitioning into a slow nod. Tameeka may have been the last of her class, but Daniel was not the last of her likable peers.

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Attitude

 

Int. Day - Living Room

The NYC apartment isn't large. The walls cluttered with pictures of friends, relatives, and pets. The furniture seems like it's been passed down for at least two generations. Home & Garden, Ebony, and Hispanic Network magazines litter the coffee table along with a pair of scissors. Seated on opposite couches are two women of color in their 50s. Jemma on the left is dressed in a colorful and comfortable mumu; Deborah on the right is dressed in business casual as if she popped over immediately after work.

DEBORAH

So what are you saying you "caught" him dead.

JEMMA

Yeah. Bastard was too much of a coward to cut out on me, so he offed himself.

DEBORAH

There's so much to unpack here. Okay, you don't seem that shaken up about it.

JEMMA

Why should I be? This was a long time coming. Listen, it's no secret Eugenio and me had our issues. Shit, half the building could vouch for how often we argued. Half the block even. [laughs] There's was this one time I threw a phonebook out the window at him. Honestly I can't remember if I was upset with him that day or if I just wanted that relic out the house. He's was always hoarding shit. All these magazines are his but now I can't bring myself to throw em out. Think I might make a collage or something for the funeral. What do you think?

DEBORAH

I mean, if that's how you wanna commemorate him, go for it. Never knew he was a Home & Garden man.

JEMMA

You know I liked them a lil fruity. Sorry, effeminate. I always forget you have HR training. 

DEBORAH

Speaking of, you said he was cheating on you?

JEMMA

Nah, he didn't have the cohones. But if you dig a lil deeper under the magazines... [she begins to part them like the Red Sea]

DEBORAH

Attitude?

JEMMA

It's for the queer community. Mostly gay men.

DEBORAH

And he just left them over the house?

JEMMA

Nah, he had em stashed like porn in different crevices of the apartment. Didn't find these until I was looking for his suit this morning. I arranged them like this to be dramatic. It's strange. You think in this city of all of em, he woulda have at least explored a lil bit, but he was always a homebody. Bastard never wanted to go out dancing.

DEBORAH

Yeah, any time we went out, you'd spend half the night complaining about him and the other half spending time getting a guy to buy you drinks.

JEMMA

They were good times! Harmless flirting. And I would come home those nights and find him snoring. And snoring. And as the years went on the snoring got worse. And as the snoring got worse, he got more forgetful, lethargic. I'd give him an errand to run and I'd catch him napping on the couch ten minutes later. "Aye, I just need to rest my eyes first." It's like he relished in sleeping to get away from me.

Well, come to find out the fucker had undiagnosed sleep apnea. I'm a heavy sleeper, so it never woke me up, but apparently he'd stop breathing in the middle of the night. Well, I went out with Yolanda two nights ago to see the new Marvel - you know me, any reason to get outta the house. I come back to find out he snored his last snore. No oxygen and his brain just cut out. Didn't even look like he ruffled the sheets. Fucker just submitted. Like he did it on purpose. 

DEBORAH

Don't be foolish. Who would do that?

JEMMA

[tearing up] A lazy mothafucker, that's who! Fucking pacifist. He always took the road of least resistance. What's easier than dying in your sleep? I knew he was unhappy with me, but I thought we had a suitable arrangement. I swear he loved my nightly recaps. But he rarely talked to me. And then I'd nag him and then we'd fight. Part of me is glad I don't have to take care of him anymore, but I miss him. Is this my fault?

DEBORAH

No. No, it is not. It sounds like he was depressed and didn't reach out for help. It's sad but it's nobody's fault.

JEMMA

You're right; it is his fault.

DEBORAH

That's not what I--

JEMMA

Ugh, why'd he have to be another man of color to die in his 50s. I'm sick of all these [she leans out the window] white people moving into my gotdamn neighborhood!

DEBORAH

[dragging her friend back inside] That's not helping.

JEMMA

Sure felt good to me. Eugenio would have laughed at that. 

Deborah looks around the living room until she finds what she's looking for. Picking up a phone book, she hands it to Jemma who's eyes light up with glee. Rolling back her shoulders, she winds up and hurls the phone book out the window at a young white man jogging. The women hide behind the sides of the window and fall over laughing once a scream confirms the target has been hit.

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A Preparatory Story: Geoffrey

He never aspired to a position of power, yet Geoffrey had been groomed for this life. Through he originally entered St Ignatius' all male atmosphere as a trio of gays like the reigning senior gays at the time, he now found himself the sole out homosexual of his class in his fourth and final year. It was unprecedented, really. The head queer, while fearsome, always had at least one - if not two - colleagues to help them rule quietly. And though Geoffrey knew of others his year he could confide in, none were ready to stomp the halls with him.

Confident in his sexuality and his slightly sturdy build, it still perplexed him that even in his last year his classmates would pull him aside to ask, “Hey, are you gay?” purely out of ignorance. He knew he wasn’t the most flamboyant of his peers, but he assumed it would have become obvious after four years studying together. There were only 107 students in their grade, after all. Yet he brushed it off, knowing he had his conquest in his day.

Of course, that was the chief - but not sole - purpose of the yearly renewed queerdom. In a school full of hormonal teenage boys, there were bound to be questions, inquiries, and explorations. Throughout the years, Geoffrey and his peers discretely addressed their fellow classmates' sexual concerns in the secrecy of the preparatory walls, some finding the courage to join their ranks at the end of a senior year, others accepting a mouth was just a mouth. (This was before the days of sexuality commonly being accepted as a spectrum, particularly in the black community.) The second role of this society was to ensure that queer students and other queer individuals their peers would meet later in life would be respected and treated as equal. No stigma, all chill. Lastly, if the head gay chose to accept, they were to influence the politics and culture of the school as a whole. Some saw it important to be part of the school government directly. Others, like Geoffrey, preferred to work in the shadows.

Today, however, he had to address the first two missions directly. The Class of 2009, as a collective, had been a problem since they stepped foot on campus their freshman year. Now as sophomores, they felt new rambunctious energy as the Class of 2010 entered. These two classes saw new spikes in openly out and daring homosexual boys, eager to speak their mind in any situation despite the danger or the authority figure. Knowing he only had so many lieutenants in the Class of 2008, Geoffrey saw it imperative to hold a caucus of all the known gays by October of that Fall Semester.

With Mr Ness occupied with Water Polo tryouts and practice, Geoffrey sat behind his desk in the office looking out into the cafeteria. Ness’ office was a common meeting place for queer students, water polo players, student government leaders, and any upperclassman looking to lurk on campus after hours. It was a modest size, enough room for a couple of worn in couches and a small armchair to line the walls with another chair sitting opposite of his desk. Plaques, degrees, and photographs of alumni and former water polo teams hung from the walls. That afternoon, Geoffrey was joined by Navius - a junior gay - and Conrad - a bored senior.

“What time are they all getting here? You know I gotta leave for work,” Navius said anxiously, watching the clock and tucking his grey polo into his khakis.

Geoffrey adjusted his glasses, keeping his gaze fixed on his history textbook. “As soon as Lionel gets here, you can leave. You got bout ten minutes to walk across the courtyard; you’ll be alright.” Hearing Navius huff, he looked up. “Look, the problem is they do what they want as it is. And that’s fine. We don’t need to be an unified front. They just need to know the rules and respect them so we can all… well.”

“Oh, don’t be modest on my part,” Conrad cut in, picking out his hair. “It’s not like I don’t know. After spending the last year eavesdropping, my world view has been illuminated. If these walls could talk --”

“Exactly. And we don’t need the faculty having more concern than they already do.”

“Imagine if they were running around doing the same thing though.”

Geoffrey and Navius shot him a lowered-eye, raised eyebrow smirk.

Conrad adjusted his legs underneath him on the couch in a singular leap. “Okay, who the fuck did what? Tell me!” Noticing he was shouting, he adjusted to a whisper. “I mean, let me in. Please.”

As Navius started to open his mouth, Javon and Kyle burst into the room, Lionel following behind them. “I’m telling you, you gotta try the sushi,” Lionel said. “Even from the cafe, it delivers.”

“Raw fish tho?” Kyle questioned.

“You’ll slurp it right up, no hetero.”

Navius chuckled and shook his head. “Ya’ll too much. But that’s my cue. Good luck, Geoffrey.” Before the senior could get a word out, the student worker grabbed his backpack and slid between Javon and Kyle out the door.

“Well,” Javon smacked his gum and plopped his in the chair angled in front of the desk, crossing his short, slender legs, “you called for the gurls--”

“--and the gurls! Have arrived!” Kyle spun slowly with his arms above his hands flourishing out. Dizzy from even that he sat in the chair closest to the door. Lionel, looking to keep things casual, opted to sit next to Conrad. They exchanged smiles.

“I guess asking for every single one of ya’ll to come was too much?” The lowerclassmen shrugged. Geoffrey closed his eyes and channeled Bernard who had come before him. “Listen, you know I love ya’ll - and pass this on to ya’ll friends - but ya’ll need to dial it back.”

“Uhn-uhn. I refuse to dim my star just because you’re boring,” Kyle snapped.

“First of all, lil boy, that’s not what I was talking about. Secondly, Brady and em used to stomp down these halls in full geish and heels. So learn ya history.” He took a moment to readjust himself behind the desk. “I’m talking about outting these boys ya’ll be messing with. We don’t do that.”

Javon sucked his teeth. “Yeah, I hear you, but these niggas be tryna pop off, and I’m not gonna let them talk to me me any kinda way. They wanna try me, I’mma come for them.”

“But see,” Lionel chimed in, “you gotta be strategic. Like, boom, a dude I messed with tried to play me in front of his friends last year. So I read his dusty ass twists. He ain’t have much to say after that.”

“Why I feel like I know who you talking bout?” Conrad felt Lionel elbow his ribs.

“I guess,” Kyle said. “But that don’t feel as satisfying.”

Geoffrey polished his glasses. “Trust me, it will. Just don’t embarass them too bad if you want them to keep finding you after school. Otherwise some of these men aren’t gonna figure themselves out til college or worst after they knock some poor girl up three times.”

“Okay, point taken, bitch.”

“Don’t call me bitch.”

“What up, bitches!” Silas burst into the room with two other water polo players following behind him. “Fuck ya’ll talkin bout in here? What up, ‘Rad?”

“Shut up, Silas. What are ya’ll doing here anyway? I thought ya’ll had practice.” Geoffrey swivled in the chair to check the calendar behind him.

“Nah, it’s just tryouts today, and I ain’t the captain so we waiting til they done.”

“Mmhmm.” As he turned back towards the door, through the space between the intruders, he spotted Trey in the cafe. “Excuse me for a second.” Manuveuring through the crowded office, he slipped out.

“So what, are we dismissed?” Javon called out to him.

“Yeah, we’re done. And Silas, don’t take my seat.”

His 6’5” friend had a clever response, but Geoffrey didn’t hear him as he glided to Trey who busy filling his water bottle. His wavy caesar hair shimmered in the sunlight coming through the glass doors, his sienna skin well moistured. He wore a t-shirt and athletic shorts that hung loose every where but his posterior, which at the moment mesmorized Geoffrey. Snapping back before being caught, he greeted his friend.

“Oh, yo, what up, G?” Trey smiled as he released the button to the fountain. “Did you want to get in on this?”

“What? No. I just… wanted to make sure you remember he have that history quiz tomorrow.” He amazed himself.

“That’s why I’m glad I got a spot next to yo smart ass in class. Bout to be cheatin than a mothafucka.”

Geoffrey rolled his eyes. “Or you could just study.”

“Nah, I’m bout to go practice some lacrosse drills.”

“Ya’ll aren’t even in season.”

“Grind never stops, knahmean. But if you’re here after I’m done, I’ll catch you for some notes.” Trey started making his way out the door, flashing his smile as usual.

Geoffrey hoped he had positioned himself out of Silas’ view to avoid ridicule. From the looks of it, it seemed most of the gays had cleared out of Ness’ office. As he started to make his way back, he noticed Conrad leave and pause at the cafe exit leading towards the computer lab. The afro’d lad cracked his neck and peeked behind him before carrying on his way. Having no real desire to reclaim his seat, Geoffrey followed him at a distance. The halls remained quiet as they each softly stepped, only noise of opening and closing doors echoing. Around the corner from the computer lab across from the bottom of the steps were double doors leading to the back stairwell and the closed gift shop. And one more door that was rarely used that led to the prayer room. Ensuring no one was behind him, he checked the doorknob: it was unlocked. He opened the door to find Conrad casually sitting on a pillow. He closed the door and locked it. This was discretion.





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Dusty

Dusk peaks through as stratus clouds cover Fourth City. Trash outline crashed cars. No lights flicker from the abandoned commercial buildings, no street lights either. Only the headlights of a modest hunter green Suburban illuminate the road as it makes its way past the city limits and into vast deserts that have become the norm. Colby gazes longingly out the back window as she strokes Martin’s forehead, his skin dry and ashy.

“Did we really have to leave?” she asks her companions in the front seat. “I think we could have survived another day.”

“Said the woman with the dying boyfriend in her lap,” Jace stares into the night before him from the passenger seat..

“All the less reason to move him!”

“Colby, was Martin’s piss not completely brown? Shit, mans was more dry than the pot he pissed in. Literally.”

“I wouldn’t know how brown his pee is. I’m not constantly looking at his dick like you are.” Colby looked back down at her mate. “But I do want to get him something to drink. He’s too beautiful to die.”

“He’ll do more than that if he dries out on us.”

“We already lost our first aider. I’m not losing anyone else if I can help it.” Barbara’s grip at ten and two tightens. Her buzzed head doesn’t hide the grays she’s growing, her chosen family growing smaller by the day. “We have to keep moving during the night as planned. That’s the fourth dry and empty city we’ve come across.”

Jace laughs. “Yeah, a lot less empty than the third one.”

“You’re not helping, Jace.”

He reaches into the glove compartment and grabs a hunter knife and a smooth stone. “I’ve helped plenty. Got more kills on these two separately than you do on your lil pea shooter.”

“It’s for emergencies only. And I still have faith we can find a solution.”

“Yeah, fuckin likely.”

“Fine.” Barbara removes her left hand from ten and tosses her pistol from her holster. “We’ve got three bullets left. Don’t waste em.” They trade a glance of competitiveness.Jace sucks his teeth as he nods and pockets the gun.

They ride in silence for less than a minute before the sound of hacking can be heard from the backseat. Jace turns in his seat to inspect the situation and finds Colby covering Martin with spit. “White gal, the hell kind of foreplay is this?”

“I have to keep him hydrated and this is all I have,” she said calmly trying to reserve her strength. Martin moans. “See, I think it’s working.”

“Bitc--- You’re not even getting it into his mouth.” Jace throws his stone at Martin who winces in pain. “There. Squeeze some water outta that or just bash his head in. And don’t you even start at me, Barbara. You just keep your eyes on the gotdamn road.”

“So much for fucking him, huh? Ya know, it’d be a lot easier if you weren’t suggesting we off our friends every ten minutes.” Her gaze fixed onto Jace. “Give me the gun back.”

“The fuck I am.” He pulls out the pistol and aims it at her head. “Martin could turn at any minute now and I ain’t gettin’ bit. So you keep driving or I waste two of these bullets real fast.”

Barbara shakes her head. “So you’re just gonna waste my bullets right away, huh, Jace?” Steering with her left hand, she grabs the gun with her right and points it up in the event he actually pulls the trigger. Instead, he tickles her armpit causing her to swerve on the dirt road. She tries to lower her arm but his attack is relentless as he maintains hold of the gun. Suddenly, POP!

The suburban slides left and right across the road until Barbara can steady the wheel and bring the vehicle to a stop. She checks the backseat; Colby is shaken but still holding tight to Martin. From what she can see, the roof of the car is still intact. Martin moans from the passenger seat doubled over. “What are you tryna do: kill me?” he screams.

In disbelief of his obtuseness, Barbara hops out of the car with the engine still running, not caring whether he lives or dies. “Fuck!”

Rolling down the window, Colby pops her head out. “What’s wrong?”

Barbara reaches through the driver side to turn off the ignition. “Front wheel popped. We’re not gonna be able to keep driving for long like this and we’re sitting sacks if we stay here.” She surveys the land with what little sunlight is left, wishing she hadn’t been so fast to kill the headlights.

“I don’t know why you didn’t let me ransack the whole city. I could have found us plenty of spares. I mean, what’s the point in stealing a car if we’re not gonna steal all we can?” For once Jace makes a point Barbara can’t deny, which only makes her more upset. “Mmhm, like I thought, you’re a shit leader.”

“Take that back, Jace! She’s doing the best she can,” Colby says as she jumps out of the car, dragging Martin along with her. Jace starts to scold her for leaving the backseat, but In truth, it’s relatively easy for the 6’3” former volleyball player to throw her 5’5” partner over her shoulders. In the short drive, he had forgotten he was only seating in the front seat because she allowed him to. “If Barbara says it’s time to hoof it, then it’s time to hoof it.”

It only takes six steps away from the Suburban for Colby to regret her decision. Feeling a slight crack under her foot followed but rustling, she makes use of her long legs and runs past Barbara carrying Martin like a backpack. Jace hops out of the car and jumps on the hood to inspect the situation. On the left side of the car, from under the sand, arises a tattered being more bone and sinew than skin and cloth. It’s eyes were sunken in yet thirsty for a fresh sight.

“Oh, you’ve gotta be kiddin’ me.” Jace climbed onto the roof of the suburban as three more creatures unearthed themselves on the right side of the car. “Of course, they sleep in the sand to keep cool. Of course, why fuckin wouldn’t they?!” Frantic, he reaches for the gun and aims it at the closest one on the right but his shot goes wide to the right - almost hitting a creature farther right. Jace looks over to Barbara who almost wants to laugh. “Oh shut up.” Feeling outdone, he tosses her the gun. Catching it and looping it around her finger, she quickly lines up a shot and takes out the monster Jace missed and the one he almost accidentally shot.

Rolling his eyes, Jace lets his guard down and doesn’t hear the fifth abomination creep up behind him. It grabs his ankles, and he falls hitting his head against the roof. Disoriented and frantic, he reaches for his knife before realizing it’s lying on the dashboard. Making his peace with the world, he shouts, “Run, bitch!”

Barbara tries to creep around the side of the car to save him but is met by a lone monster which she immediately shoots in the head. Out of bullets she watches in horror as her most annoying but loyal friend becomes a prune. The creature sucks on Jace’s ankle as he screams and attempts to fight back, only becoming weaker with each passing second. As his pale skin becomes translucent, he passes out. And then - poof - a cloud of dust appears, leaving his clothes draped over the back of the suburban.

Tears welling up and her eyes, Barbara runs after Colby before the creatures can feel the addition of moisture in the air. Before long, she catches up to the former sports star, and they find an abandoned building in the middle of the desert. “Is this on the map?” Colby askes.

“What map? I left it in the car like a coward. Crap, we left all our supplies behind. Jace was right; I’m leading us astray.”

“Listen,” Colby takes Barbara’s face into her hand. “You’re doing the best you can, and three of us are still alive.” Martin moans. “Well, mostly alive. Now let’s explore what’s probably a mirage and see if we can’t save my boyfriend.” She pecks Barbara on the lips and walks through the door.

With the quarter moon out, the interior of the building is partially illuminated. As her eyes adjust, Barbara sees Martin start to twitch. “Hey, Colby…”

“Just a little bit farther. We have to find water in here. He can’t turn yet.”

“You sure about that?”

Heeding her friend’s warning, Colby swings Martin off of her back until a nearby table. She rubs her eyes in circular motion of him, as if to milk them but nothing comes out. Realizing her plan, Barbara steps in. She thinks of the horrors she just witnessed and channels a tear. As it starts to well in her eye, Martin’s ashy skin begins to flake off, his hands crawling uncontrollably at his side. Barbara springs back as the tear leaves her cheek and lingers in the air. Eyes still closed, he catches it in his mouth and licks his lips. Colby begins to smile and lean in to hug him but feels a tug on the back of her shirt. As Barbara yanks at her, Colby sees Martin’s eyelids pop open to reveal sunken sockets. She yells and grabs Barbara’s hands as the women try to lose their recently turned friend.

Still spry, Martin chases after them on all fours, leaping from equipment to table to window ledge inevitably missing and falling as he adjusts to his new abilities and water-lust. On his third blunder, he looks up and realizes he’s lost them, letting out a crunchy, dry, defeated howl.

Having found a room, Barbara and Colby sit on the floor, back against the closed door, as they gasp for air. Colby, still too dry to cry, plants her face in her hands and pretends to weep. “How long? How long before we end up just like him? Ugh, just kill me.”

Finally cried-out herself, Barbara slowly realizes they’ve locked themselves in a closet. The walls are lined with boxes on shelves, dated from two years ago. She slides a box off the second shelf which plops down softly next to her and opens it. A chuckle escapes her lips, then full on laughter. It disturbs her friend’s dramatics and causes bewilderment. “What’s so fun--” Before she can finish, a thud crashes against the door. Barbara continues to laugh as she reaches into the box.

~~~

Barbara relaxes with her feet up on her desk, empty bottles of cola and other sodas littering the surface. Colby sits across from her, stroking Martin’s hair as drinks from the bottle of orange soda strapped to his face. They may die of diabetes, but for the moment, they were safe and hydrated.




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My Totally Biased 20 Best Albums of 2020

 🎶 "Through the fire, to the limit, to the wall. For a chance to be with you, I'd gladly risk it all! 🎶

That's what it feels like to finally be in the last days of 2020. What should have been a year of rebirth for us all turned more into a year of panic but also reflection for those privileged to have the opportunity. And as I look back over the year, I pour one out for what could have been one of the danciest years of our lives. Not only did Pop and Hip-Hop make big waves this year, but Disco returned and was - dare I say - accepted again now that straight white men aren't actively trying to put down queerness and carefree living. As a reward, Rock crawled out of it's early grave and graced us with its presence as well! 

Trapped in my home, I listened to well over 110 albums, EPs, and mixtapes. Let's not even mention all the singles and random tracks I had on rotation. I may have truly been in my musical bag this year. And there's been quite the selection. While the top 5-7 albums of the year were fairly clear to me early on, there were many B+ through B- albums that tripped me up. My shortlist by late Autumn consisted of 50+ albums. Eventually I shortened it down to 38 and now to a final 20. As always, I did so with the help of my handy criteria:

1. Does the album have a thesis and support it? 
2. How much does the album knock? 
3. Does this album speak to me/the masses?  
4. How many tracks standout vs fade into the background? 
5. How does the album stack up against its genre peers?
6. Does it help me forget about quarantine?

Even with my ever heightened listening radar, there are still albums I didn't make time for, pay enough attention to, or know of their existence. Keep the discourse going and let me know what some of your favorite albums were this year. Trading music is my love language after all (one of em at least). As always, I start by offering you the albums that almost made the cut so I can craftily extend my list.

Honorable Mentions

30) Disclosure's Energy (Dance/House)

29) Jessie Ware's What's Your Pleasure? (Alternative/Disco)

28) Oliver Tree's Ugly is Beautiful (Rock/Pop)

27) Phantogram's Ceremony Alternative/Rock)

26) Thundercat's It Is What It Is (Psychedelic/Soul)

25) Kid Cudi's Man on the Moon III (Rap/Hip-Hop)

24) Duckwrth's SuperGood (R&B/Pop)

23) Dirty Projectors' 5EPs (Alternative/Indie Rock)

22) Kali Uchis' Sin Miedo (R&B/Pop)

21) Lianne La Havas' Self Titled (R&B/Soul)

*~if a song has a hyperlink, it leads to a music video~*

20) Megan Thee Stallion's Good News
Release Date: November 20
Runtime: 49:50

Tracks: 17
Genre: Rap, Hip-Hop, R&B

It's hard to say if Megan's debut album truly deserves a spot on this list. I went back and forth since Good News' release trying to determine its rank, if it was better than the albums I just placed on the Honorable Mentions bench. At the very least, I have more to say about Meg's album. She opens with a diss track to the rapper that shot her, a negro I don't care to mention by name. Using the instrumental to Biggie's "Who Shot Ya," it's clear that she's gonna stick to her rapping ass ways. In fact, Megan's production makes use of a lot of hip-hop and R&B samples, barely evolving the sound, but allowing her to rap on the track as if she was old enough to be on the original track. Because of that, this definitely feels more like a mixtape than an honest album, lacking any true theme. However throughout the album, you can tell the hottest chick in the rap game is honestly having fun, and that's what makes Good News so endearing as a rap fan. It takes me back to the 00s when rappers would boast but also celebrate life. Granted, the record does skip when we make it to "Don't Rock Me to Sleep," her possible pop crossover, but all is readjusted with the "Savage (Remix)" making the cut.

Hit Single:

Body

Standout Tracks:

Freaky Girls (feat SZA)

Work That

Skip It

Cry Baby (feat DaBaby) - because we wish Megan free from his tyranny

19) Perfume Genius’ Set My Heart on Fire Immediately
Release Date: May 15
Runtime: 50:42

Tracks: 13
Genre: Alternative, Rock, Pop

It's no secret I have a thing for skinny, sensitive, painfully artistic, distraught, sad white boys. So obviously Perfume Genius and I have flirted for quite some time. Yet he was always just a little too abstract for me to truly understand. The appeal and draw was always there, but I could never truly say I understood him. Well, either he dumbed himself down or I finally became attuned to his methods, because his fifth album Set My Heart on Fire Immediately does just that. Perhaps his queer themes are more apparent the time around. Maybe it's his use of 80's inspired sounds and arrangements. There's a slim chance his version of Rock is just what I needed to believe in the genre again. Not to mention his tracks blend perfectly into each other. His thesis of love unrequited is pure, but perhaps a little basic. There are also some sounds that deter me whenever he goes to guttural with his guitars, yet when he's in his dreamland pocket, he wins me back over everytime. 

Hit Single:

On The Floor

Standout Tracks:

Jason

Nothing at All

Skip It

Describe - because after the pureness of the intro track, it's a little too garbled

18) Sufjan Stevens' The Ascension
Release Date: September 25
Runtime: 80:30

Tracks: 15
Genre: Alternative, Electropop, Indie Rock

With seven prior albums tucked in his Birkenstocks, Sufjan Stevens is no stranger to haunting our frontal lobes. The longest album on this year's list, this 45 year old from Detroit still manages to stay fresh with new whispers and lullabies to distract us from our woes while shoving them promptly back in our faces. Each song is a new kaleidoscope of emotions as The Ascension's cover would suggest. Themes of isolation, uniqueness, social status, and death rule the project. While some songs come off slightly heavy-handed, other songs work well as anthems of dissension. With the length and weight of The Ascension, it is rare I have time to complete the meditation in one sitting. It's then I begin to wonder if Sufjan proposed this more as a choose your own adventure album, so that we may all climb our own paths to enlightenment since no one size fits all. Can you feel that, Mr Krabs? That's nirvana calling.

Hit Single:

Video Game

Standout Tracks:

Make Me an Offer I Can't Refuse

Sugar

Skip It

America - because a twelve minute acid trip about what a shitshow of a country this has become can be a bit too much depending on your high

17) Tom Misch and Yussef Dayes’ What Kinda Music
Release Date: April 24
Runtime: 45:04

Tracks: 12

Genre: Funk, Jazz, Neo Jazz

It brings me great joy to feature Tom Misch on this list. After doubting his debut efforts in 2018, I feel I can rightfully justify his presence with his sophomore effort What Kinda Music. This time teaming up with jazz drummer Yussef Daves, the English duo pull us in with an eerie synth keyboard that feels like its surrounding us while listening to the album's intro and title track. From there, Daves masterfully drums along as Misch strums. Misch himself has a deep yet youthful voice that compels you as he wails. When he needs a break, the two provide us with jazzy interludes and breaks that'll have you tapping your foot. I can only describe this album as major Nevada vibes. I've never been, and it's likely the duo hasn't been either. But What Kinda Music starts off as a melancholy night on a dusty, dark trail that eventually evolves into riding around with the roof down as the sun bakes your skin and you arrive in the big city to try you luck with whom or whatever will have you. It's a wonderful feeling.

Hit Single:

Nightrider (feat Freddie Gibbs)

Standout Tracks:

Lift Off (feat Rocco Palladino)

I Did It For You

Skip It

Julie Mangos - because it sounds like the album notes before arriving to the big boss

16) HAIM’s Women in Music Pt III
Release Date: June 26
Runtime: 51:39

Tracks: 16
Genre: Rock, Alternative, Indie Pop

From the jazz saxophone intro through to the "bonus tracks" that preceded the album to promote it, Women in Music Pt III is a month of sunny to overcast weather over California. This isn't to say the album is one note, but if you know the vibes, you know the fucking vibes. With this being the HAIM sisters' third album, they're no stranger to walking through empty parking lots and deserts set to their music. They know their formula and they execute it well. Danielle leads the vocals flawlessly as her sisters accompany her. But when they stray from pure Rock sounds and experiment more with pop and alternative R&B sounds, their imaginations come a live. Those songs excited me so much that some other parts of the album fell flat. However, HAIM manages to create an impressive collection of work that can drag you out of bed and force you on your way out the door (or eight weary feet to your home office) with a spring in your step.

Hit Single:

Now I'm In It

Standout Tracks:

3AM

I Know Alone

Skip It

Up From a Dream - because really who wants to wake up from a dream

15) Empress Of’s I’m Your Empress Of

Release Date: April 3
Runtime: 33:21

Tracks: 12

Genre: Alternative, Synth-Pop, Electronica

Light your incense, pour your wine, ingest that edible, and settle in for the chillest bath or solo dance party you've had in months. Empress Of introduces herself for the third time with this near self-titled project, and downloads us into her world with the titular intro. With short spoken word pieces from her Honduran mother about the struggle to assimilate and prosper in the States, Empress Of sings about broken relationships in a hypnotizing way, never taking more than three and a half minute intervals of your time. In fact, I'm Your Empress Of has the shortest runtime of any album on this list, garnering the title of "Best Editing." Lorely knows what she has to say, at times repeating only four lines and allowing the instrumentals to strengthen her arguments. A singer-songwriter of a different flavor, Empress Of is no stranger to dancing the pain away, and I gladly welcome her into the rotation.

Hit Single:

Give Me Another Chance

Standout Tracks:

U Give It Up

Maybe This Time

Skip It

Hold Me Like Water - because it's the one track on the album she didn't write or produce herself

14) Gabriel Garzon-Montano’s Aguita

Release Date: October 2
Runtime: 42:23

Tracks: 10
Genre: Alternative R&B, Soul, Reggaeton

Most Drake fans will recognize Gabriel's voice as the sample on the song "Jungle," but being the hipster I am, I find the original "6 8" much better. In all honesty, I didn't come across GGM until last year, but I was immediately a fan. His melodic voice has a way of slowly coming from behind to caress you like a familiar spirit, slowly lifting you off the ground as you float into your new happy place. That isn't to say his songs are all rainbows. On the contrary, it's the way he's able to sing through his pain that really draws you in. This is no different on his third album Aguita, especially on tracks like "Fields" and "Bloom." However, Mr Garzon-Montano tries something new on this record: reggaeton. Possibly feeling fully comfortable in his heritage, he let's his Spanglish fly on a decent two-fifths of the album. On first listen, it can be a bit jarring, bouncing between haunting, alternative, melodic songs and Reggaeton anthems that could be ready for the club. Yet I firmly believe Gabriel marries his two identities perfectly, making for a dynamic listening experience.

Hit Single:

Someone

Standout Tracks:

Aguita

Bloom

Skip It

Blue Dot (feat Theo Blackmann) - because Gabriel does just fine on his own, and after the blue dot usually comes the red

13) Khruangbin’s Mordechai

Release Date: June 26
Runtime: 43:53

Tracks: 10

Genre: Soul, Funk, Psychedelic

Consisting of Laura Lee, Mark Spear, and Donald (DJ) Johnson, Khruangbin's a funky three piece outfit from Houston, Texas looking to shake ya up with their third effort Mordechai. Criticized in the past for simply conducting music studies on Thai and Iranian rock, the trio finally find their own voices and sound. What results is a psychedelic trip that feels like a melting Care Bears episode. Occasionally feeling vocal, the trio chants over tracks like "Connaissais de Face" and "Time (You and I)." Khruangbin easily makes your brain feel like the set to Three's Company, all very groovy but also slightly scandalious and sexy as if you were to slip into an one night stand's silk satin sheets and suddenly contemplate spending the night when you know you have that big meeting in the morning. Is it worth risking it all? You be the judge. For reasons soon to be obvious to you, I award Mordechai the title of "No Words, Just Vibes."

Hit Single:

Time (You and I)

Standout Tracks:

Pelota

Father Bird, Mother Bird

Skip It

Shida - because it's the closing credits to a movie you don't want to end

12) D Smoke’s Black Habits
Release Date: February 7
Runtime: 60:02

Tracks: 16
Genre: Rap, Hip-Hop, Soul

D Smoke is a rappers' rapper. From his bars to his subject matter to his flow, this man has the talent. So it's no wonder that upon appearing on Netflix' Hustle & Flow, he won the competition. Ashamed at myself for not tuning in, I promised myself I would at least give the winner's album a chance. When I tell you Black Habits wowed me from the first listen, I fib not. With immediate comparisons to Kendrick Lamar in both flow and story telling abilities alike, D Smoke's Inglewood emits from every track on the album. However, he takes his lyrics above and beyond with his Spanish skills. That's right; he raps so fluently en Espanol it feels like an incantation. Each track on Black Habits is better than the last. With themes of family and thriving as a community at the core of this album, D Smoke is not afraid to call upon his brother SiR and various musically inclined cousins to help him deliver his message, earning this record the "Family Man of the Year" award. With his connections to TDE, D Smoke lucked out on amazing beats and stunning features from Snoop, Jill Scott, and Ari Lennox. It truly is a showstopping rap album for those truly fans of the genre.

Hit Single:

Gasper Yanga (feat Snoop Dogg)

Standout Tracks:

Black Habits I (feat Jackie Gouche)

Lights On (feat SiR)

Skip It

Black Habits II - because if there's gonna be a second, I want there to be a full series

11) Rina Sawayama’s Sawayama

Release Date: April 17
Runtime: 43:39

Tracks: 13
Genre: Pop, Dance, Metal

Pure vocal talent. That's the first thing you'll hear on Rina Sawayama's debut album. Her sweet pop vocals are suddenly joined by jarring rock guitars and synths. You ask yourself what kinda album is this? Rina whispers in your air, "It's an experience," as the intro track triumphantly comes to a crescendo of an ending. Sawayama is an experimentation of sounds and genres, using late 90s-era pop as its basis. Elements of metal, dance, house, and R&B litter the album, showing off Rina's versatility. Some may find this confusing, but I find it delightful and exciting. She has the range and talent to show us everything she can do, from leading us to the dancefloor to the mosh pit to the bathroom mirror for a good cry. It's far too easy to name Sawayama as the "Most Adventurous Album of the Year." With topics ranging from fame, family, and identity, Rina deals with her dualing British and Japanese sides with rawness that I can only admire. She is my winner for "Best New Artist." Watch out for her.

Hit Single:

XS

Standout Tracks:

Who's Gonna Save You Now

Bad Friend

Skip It

Fuck This World (interlude) - as a protest that it didn't become a full song

10) Durand Bernarr’s Dur&
Release Date: August 28
Runtime: 47:16

Tracks: 13
Genre: Soul, R&B, Hip-Hop

Durand wastes absolutely no time introducing himself and gets right to the point on "Mixxed," the intro to Dur&. He and his fans have been waiting YEARS for his true debut album. After years performing originals and covers on Youtube and touring the global singing backup for Erykah Badu (and on The Internet's albums), Durand finally comes to us fresh off an appearance on BET's The Next Big Thing. Though he didn't win the competition (somehow), the hilarious and talented singer guides us on how to deal with fuckbois, clingers, and our own emotions. The production effortlessly mixes 90s and 00s R&B stylings while updating the sound for a new generation. Durand's vocal range is vast (singing different octaves as his own backup on the album) and has been praised by the likes of Erykah and Amber Riley. One of those good raised in the church voices. Like most singers of this caliber, he truly comes alive while singing live, but he still manages to put life into each song as he adjusts to his new limelight. Listen closely to his lyrics that will have you in stitches and adding new phrases to your lexicon, like "dick so good make a nigga relocate" or "take care of them chops." Dur& very effortlessly earns the title of "Ooo, That Boy Can Saaang!" Certified house cleaning music.

Hit Single:

Stuck (feat Ari Lennox)

Standout Tracks:

Relocate

Prepared

Skip It

Passport - Because I'm never too sure when I'll find myself in a proper lounge

9) Spillage Village’s Spilligion
Release Date: September 25
Runtime:  49:45

Tracks: 12

Genre: Rap, Funk, Gospel

Remember back in the day when emcees would come together like Voltron to destroy a track? Well, imagine a whole album of that. At its core, Spillage Village is made up of phenomenally slept on rappers JID and Earthgang, but the collective is rounded out by Mereba, Hollywood JB, Jurdan Bryant, Benji, and 6lack. Bursting out of the scene of Dreamville Records for their fourth joint venture, Spillage Village comes together to deliver a gospel of peace and fellowship while incorporating elements of a typical black Christian church service into their songs and interludes. Even with features from Ari Lennox, Chance the Rapper, and others, the core group still finds time to spotlight each of their members throughout Spilligion's runtime. This is a feel good album like no other, meant to enrich and uplift communities that feel looked over and left behind. JID and Earthgang did such a superb job leading this clique, it's no wonder other artists on this list tapped them for features. I think it is safe to dub Spilligion "The Blackest Album of the Year."

Hit Single:

End of Daze (feat Ant Clemons)

Standout Tracks:

Baptize

PsalmSing

Skip It

Jupiter - because even for an album about community, it's a lil too kumbaya

8) Lady Gaga’s Chromatica
Release Date: May 29
Runtime: 43:08
Tracks: 16

Genre: Pop, Electronica, Disco

You know how people say they miss the Old Kanye. Well the gays missed the Old Gaga, and after trips around the sun with Tony Bennett and Bradley Cooper, our Motha Monster has returned. Up to her old tricks with a new disco spin, Lady Gaga transports us to her new planet Chromatica, where anything and everything is possible. Separated into three acts, her sixth studio album first launches us into the pop stratosphere as Gaga fights to leave Earth and return to her home planet to bring peace through dance. Act II finds our hero realizing she's the one in trouble, even being betrayed by BlackPink as the KPop group outperforms her on the standout track of the album. It's also safe to say Act II has the best pop and disco bops of the album. Finally, Act III finds Gaga hurled back into space, left forsaken but soon discovered and adored by a new group. Is this the actual plot of Chromatica? Who's to safely say. It's fun, Pop-flavored art and you can digest it however you want. After years away and finally back to form, I'm proud to award Lady Gaga the "Comeback Kid" award. May dancefloors next year honor Chromatica's impact.

Hit Single:

Rain on Me (feat Ariana Grande)

Standout Tracks:

Replay

Plastic Doll

Skip It

Sine from Above (feat Elton John) - because it's Elton who throttles her back into space, and it's not a pretty sight

7) Childish Gambino’s 3.15.20

Release Date: March 22
Runtime: 57:44

Tracks: 12

Genre: Hip-Hop, Soul, Experimental

Of all the overlooked albums this year, Gambino's fourth album 3.15.20 may rank the highest. Choosing to forgo track listings and album art, he dropped a white square and twelve tracks to the world, only naming two of them. (The album art featured above was displayed during the livestream of the album.) We begin at "0.00" in an echo chamber of reverbs and a chant calling out "we are, we are, we are." Next, a Robocop-esque version of Gambino leads us on a night ride around our new environment before Ariana Grande comes in to remind us how "Time" works. After that, we're left to explore different sounds and flows of Gambino as he raps and sings at the top of his game in a way that seems to caution us of the world over production that is at one moment haunting, eerie, and mechanical and the next bouncy, jovial, and fluid. With no clue as to what's coming next, each track is jarring and adventurous in a new way until we stumble upon a familiar song from two years ago: a very early single or an oasis in the dark hellscape Gambino has left us in? By the end of our journey, we are wary but rewarded with groovy guitar riffs identifiable as the Awaken, My Love-era. Then, in an updated Because The Internet fashion, he tells us what it was all about, a tip of what it means. 3.15.20 is a "Figure It Out" sort of an album. That is it's only crime, but perhaps it's greatest triumph.

Hit Single:

42.26 aka Feels Like Summer

Standout Tracks:

35.31 aka Little Foot, Big Foot

19.10 aka Haunted

Skip It

32.22 aka Chaos - because it may induce seizures for the ear sensitive, unless you like Rina's "STFU!" then you're fine

6) Gorillaz’ Song Machine, Season One: Strange Timez
Release Date: October 23
Runtime: 60:05

Tracks: 17

Genre: Electropop, Post Punk, Hip-Hop

The Gorillaz did an odd thing this year; then again, odd is where they live. They started a webseries of sorts featuring the cast of usual suspects: 2D, Murdock, Noodle, and Russell. With the first episode dropped on January 30 of this year, a new single was released featuring an British rapper named Slowthai. It was a punk-rap anthem that got you out of your seat, headbanging along. As the months followed, a new song/video/episode premiered. It was clear they were working up to an actual release. By October, Song Machine, Season One: Strange Timez was announced. In what may be one of the best rollouts in the last decade, the Gorillaz managed to excite fans new and old, calling upon names like Schoolboy Q and St Vincent and shining a spotlight on newcomers like JPEGMAFIA, Earthgang, and Octavian. The genres on the album are near limitless, and the flavor combinations varied. Somehow they managed to combine Elton John and 6lack, and the song works wonderfully. True masters of their craft, the Gorillaz' gift us this seventh album in a time of great need. Time can only tell what Season Two will have in store.

Hit Single:

Pacman (feat Schoolboy Q)

Standout Tracks:

Dead Butterflies (feat Kano and Roxani Arias)

The Last Chord (feat Leee John)

Skip It

Severed Head (feat Goldlink and Unknown Mortal Orchestra) - only because it's the hard combination to comprehend on first listen

5) Chloe x Halle’s The Ungodly Hour
Release Date: June 12
Runtime: 37:17

Tracks: 13

Genre: R&B, Soul, Pop

[Michelle Obama voice] "Hey queen(s). Girl(s), you have done it again, constantly raising the bar for us all, and doing it flawlessly. I'd say I'm surprised, but I know who you are." Chloe and Halle have returned to give us the best vocals of 2020. It really and truly is as simple as that. You like R&B, listen to this album. You miss when artists would really sing, listen to this album. You like girl groups with out the filler of LaTavia and Farrah, listen to this album. While Chloe gives you the raspy maturity of a more mellow T-Boz, Halle tickles your Disney Princess memories with her higher register. Together they are a force to be reckoned with, and on The Ungodlly Hour they deliver bop after bop until they've decided you're ready for their chiller side. The album transitions from the club to the post-game where the girls recap the events of the night and unload and unpack what they've been through. On this sophomore effort, there is no slump, only growth and maturity. Not to mention, Chloe x Halle completed a whole circuited of live performances that redefined what could be accomplished from the comfort of your backyard (or sound studio) with a little effort. Brava, ladies!

Hit Single:

Do It

Standout Tracks:

Ungodly Hour

Lonely

Skip It

Catch Up (feat Swae Lee) - because the last thing Chloe x Halle need is help from a rappin ass mothafucka.

4) Fiona Apple’s Fetch the Bolt Cutters
Release Date: April 17
Runtime: 51:54

Tracks: 13

Genre: Rock, Alternative, Baroque Pop

[Mr G from Summer Heights High voice] "Well thank god you're here. Where have you been, bitch? Where have ya bloody been?" Mostly disappeared from the public's mind since 2012 besides her cover of "Pure Imagination" used in a Chipotle ad in 2014, Ms Apple graces us with her presence, insight, and rage with her fifth album Fetch the Bolt Cutters. We're brought in first with a simple piano-led medley yearning for love before we are thrown in the middle of the complications of what that love can bring. Over the course of the album, Ms Apple and her band clap, stomp, and improvise their way into our brains with acoustic sounds that beg you to join in the jamboree. While she also deals with her relationship with other women and past sexual assault, she keeps the album light with humor. It's a wonderful balance of charm and wit that challenges listeners to look inward and face their own inner oppressors. By all accounts, this may technically be the best album of the year, but for my conditions, I'm looking for slightly more bounce this year. And so, to deal with any outrage, I rightfully declare Fetch the Bolt Cutters as 2020's "Miss Congeniality."

Hit Single:

Shameika

Standout Tracks:

Under The Table

Heavy Balloon

Skip It

Cosmonauts - because I think other songs on the album are stronger

3) Tame Impala’s The Slow Rush
Release Date: February 14
Runtime:  57:27

Tracks: 12

Genre: Psychedelic Pop, Electronic, Soft Rock

On "Instant Destiny," Kevin Parker insists he's "about to do something crazy." And you know what, I'm not gonna argue with him. From the mastermind behind Tame Impala, The Slow Rush comes in faster than you would think, yet goes no where fast. This fourth album from Tame Impala almost feels like a fever dream. Have you ever had the urge to crip walk to an indie, psychedelic song before? Because there's at least three songs if not more on this album that will make you consider it. Experimenting with mixing sounds more than he has with previous efforts, KP dips his thumb in the Pop-flavored Koolaid and likes it. Sharing his new excitement, he lets his long hair flow across the album, occasionally bundling it back up for more somber tracks like "Posthumous Forgiveness." As the album pushes on, the sense that time is running out becomes more urgent, and by the final track we're hoping KP will milk every last second out of "One More Hour." So join him as he floats along the coastline; maybe you'll be lucky enough to find yourself in Australia with him, where you can dance freely. Ah, what it must feel like.

Hit Single:

Borderline

Standout Tracks:

Breathe Deeper

Is It True

Skip It

Tomorrow's Dust - only because I'm afraid you might catch something from it

2) Sam Sparro’s Boombox Eternal
Release Date: February 21
Runtime: 39:25

Tracks: 12

Genre: Dance, New Jack R&B, Pop

Few people remember Sam Sparro, so allow me to reintroduce him to you. Labeled a one-hit wonder after dropping "Black and Gold" in 2008, Sparro is back with his third album Boombox Eternal. As the name suggest, it harks back to an era when carrying around a boombox on your shoulder was the norm, when cassette tapes were the most advanced piece of listening technology we possessed. Diving into his New Jack Swing bag, Australian born Sparro delivers full chest-voiced vocals as he takes us back in time when love seemed so easy. The late 80s/90s synth sounds he borrows gave birth to my favorite single of the year: "Love Like That." Fantastic from start to finish, Sparro will have you dancing and crooning along by the time he asks us how to "Save a Life." A gay icon to me and soon to you as well, Sam Sparro deserves to be a household name. Perfectly compact at just under 40 minutes, Boombox Eternal is the perfect vibe for any long drive or moment alone in your bedroom. You'll feel like you're on the beach getaway you truly deserved this year.

Hit Single:

Everything

Standout Tracks:

Eye 2 Eye

Outside the Blue

Skip It

The PPL - Who are these PPL and what do they want?

1) Dua Lipa’s Future Nostalgia
Release Date: March 27
Runtime: 37:17/43:23

Tracks: 11/13

Genre: Pop, Nu-Disco, Synth-Pop

I don't think people realize how much I love Dua Lipa. I admired everything about "New Rules" but I tried to write her first album off. That was a mistake, and not one I would make again for her return. Future Nostalgia is the moment. She is that pop girl, that diva, dare I say that icon. Dua Lipa made this pop-disco perfection of an album and put her whole titty in it to feed the masses. Originally overlooked because of the state of the world, Future Nostalgia was a gift. Though it deserved its time in the club - and still deserves - this album saved many people from going insane those first few months of self-isolation. As the name suggest, this record yearns for the past as well, but it brings it to current day. Imagine the Austin Powers franchise but with a witty 20-something heroine. That's what Future Nostalgia serves. Each track is a different vibe of disco modified to fit Dua's vocal range and talent, which is broad. Her voice is full and infectious. She encourages you to sing along but will always be the top female vocalist. Her views on love and lust are unique yet relatable. Even during the albums mellow moments, it keeps you moving. It is the perfect album to combat 2020 and therefore my pick for "Best Album of the Year."

Hit Single:

Don't Start Now

Standout Tracks:

Pretty Please

Good in Bed

Skip It:

Boys Will Be Boys - only because it doesn't feel discooooooooo

So many twists and turns! How exciting for you all. I hope you enjoyed my list. And if you didn't, feel free to let me know. What did I fuck up? What did I miss? I'm always interested to learn. Thank you for coming back year after year. It truly is my pleasure. Till next December, stay safe, stay healthy, and stay musically inclined.

Don't forget, you can check out my back catalog here: 2019, 2018, 2017, 2016, 2015, 2014, and 2013.
Oh, and of course, a playlist of this year's picks can be found below.

Word.