[typical office space on a Monday morning]
Mary - [peaking over cubical wall] You don't look too good, Jack. You okay?
Jack - Yeah, I'm aight. Just miss this past weekend. It was so good!
Bill - [overing hearing from across the way] Sounds like you got yourself a case of the mondays to me.
Jack - A case of the what?
Mary - Of the mondays. You know, like--
Jack - Oh my God! I have to get to the bottom of this. [runs out of his cubical]
Bill - What's wrong with him?
Mary Ann - [shrugs] Maybe you should follow him.
[Bill looks off into the distance after Jack]
[Jack is in the bathroom now, alone, splashing water on his face]
Jack - How did these mondays develop inside of me? I didn't eat or drink anything out of the ordinary. ...Well, actually...
[scene goes dark and a spot light comes up on a friend]
Friend 1 - Hey, Jack! Bet you won't eat these chocolate covered ants I bought back with me from my trip to Africa.
Jack - But those are a delicacy. Perfectly fine to eat.
[1st spotlight fades as 2nd one rises]
Friend 2 - Hey, Jack! You wanna hit these 6 L.I ice teas with me in a row?
Jack - OKay, that was a bad idea that almost blacked me out.
[2nd spotlight fades; 3rd rises]
Friend 3 - Oh Jack... Why don't you follow me into this room? I've seen how you've been looking at me all night. [she winks]
Jack - And then she took a shot with me before I followed her in and that blacked me out. Did she... did she do anything to me while I was in there... like.... like shove mondays up my... What the fuck are mondays anyway? Ugh! I must still be drunk. Why did I invite my friends over last night?
[the bathroom door opens. It's Bill]
Bill - You okay, man?
Jack - Bill, what the fuck is a monday and how did it get inside me?
Bill - Umm... it's today.
Jack - Obviously it's today, but what is a monday?
Bill - It's today!
Jack - Bill, you aren't making any sense.
Bill - God, that is alcohol on your breath. Here. [hands Jack a mint] A monday is a day of the week. It comes right after the weekend. Today is a monday.
Jack - So how do I have a case of them? [gasp] Are mondays a type of beer, too?
Bill - No, dumb ass. You have a case of the mondays because you miss the weekend so much you seem disappointed it's monday. It's as if you recieved a case of mondays in your mail.
Jack - [stares blankly at Bill] ...oh ok.
Bill - You don't get it, do you?
Jack - I think I want a 30 case of the mondays for lunch.... or should I save it for tonight?
Bill - Go home, Jack.
Jack - Can I take Mary with me?
Bill- That's up to her.
Jack - Cause I don't think I can finish a case of mondays by myself.
Bill - Dammit, I'll go with you. You obviously can't drive anyway.
Jack - I took the bus to work today.
Bill - Well, good for you. Now come on.
Jack - OKay [starts to follow Bill out of the bathroom] Where are we getting the mondays from, though?
Bill - Shut up.
And thus,
a hungover caused by drinking on a sunday night became a case of the mondays.
Case closed.
Word.
Mary - [peaking over cubical wall] You don't look too good, Jack. You okay?
Jack - Yeah, I'm aight. Just miss this past weekend. It was so good!
Bill - [overing hearing from across the way] Sounds like you got yourself a case of the mondays to me.
Jack - A case of the what?
Mary - Of the mondays. You know, like--
Jack - Oh my God! I have to get to the bottom of this. [runs out of his cubical]
Bill - What's wrong with him?
Mary Ann - [shrugs] Maybe you should follow him.
[Bill looks off into the distance after Jack]
[Jack is in the bathroom now, alone, splashing water on his face]
Jack - How did these mondays develop inside of me? I didn't eat or drink anything out of the ordinary. ...Well, actually...
[scene goes dark and a spot light comes up on a friend]
Friend 1 - Hey, Jack! Bet you won't eat these chocolate covered ants I bought back with me from my trip to Africa.
Jack - But those are a delicacy. Perfectly fine to eat.
[1st spotlight fades as 2nd one rises]
Friend 2 - Hey, Jack! You wanna hit these 6 L.I ice teas with me in a row?
Jack - OKay, that was a bad idea that almost blacked me out.
[2nd spotlight fades; 3rd rises]
Friend 3 - Oh Jack... Why don't you follow me into this room? I've seen how you've been looking at me all night. [she winks]
Jack - And then she took a shot with me before I followed her in and that blacked me out. Did she... did she do anything to me while I was in there... like.... like shove mondays up my... What the fuck are mondays anyway? Ugh! I must still be drunk. Why did I invite my friends over last night?
[the bathroom door opens. It's Bill]
Bill - You okay, man?
Jack - Bill, what the fuck is a monday and how did it get inside me?
Bill - Umm... it's today.
Jack - Obviously it's today, but what is a monday?
Bill - It's today!
Jack - Bill, you aren't making any sense.
Bill - God, that is alcohol on your breath. Here. [hands Jack a mint] A monday is a day of the week. It comes right after the weekend. Today is a monday.
Jack - So how do I have a case of them? [gasp] Are mondays a type of beer, too?
Bill - No, dumb ass. You have a case of the mondays because you miss the weekend so much you seem disappointed it's monday. It's as if you recieved a case of mondays in your mail.
Jack - [stares blankly at Bill] ...oh ok.
Bill - You don't get it, do you?
Jack - I think I want a 30 case of the mondays for lunch.... or should I save it for tonight?
Bill - Go home, Jack.
Jack - Can I take Mary with me?
Bill- That's up to her.
Jack - Cause I don't think I can finish a case of mondays by myself.
Bill - Dammit, I'll go with you. You obviously can't drive anyway.
Jack - I took the bus to work today.
Bill - Well, good for you. Now come on.
Jack - OKay [starts to follow Bill out of the bathroom] Where are we getting the mondays from, though?
Bill - Shut up.
And thus,
a hungover caused by drinking on a sunday night became a case of the mondays.
Case closed.
Word.
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