Outside at the Restaurant

Whenever I visit New York City
I pass restaurants with patrons eating outside.
Usually I have to keep myself from staring.
It's not that I'm people watching,
I do that as part of my regular routine.
It's more of an admiration.

You see, I have this vision of a perfect life in my head.
As a writer, I see myself being part of the "in crowd" if you will.
I'll live in a small studio apartment
in some big city where there's always something to do.
I'll have friends and associates that provide great conversation.
And I'll eat at the small self-run restaurants that are recommended by newspapers.

To me, eating outside at a restaurant is a sign of class.
It says I'm good enough to dine here and be noticed by you.
I realize how pompous this sounds,
but dammit it's the life that's always allured me.

I feel as if some people, the middle-classer born to a well enough family,
naturally come into this kind of lifestyle.
It's their norm and always will be.

When I've visited NYC with friends in the past
[most recently with my best friend's friends],
we'll settle for eating at some fast food joint
or a popular restaurant in Times Square that has specials.
We tried to go to one of the restaurants where people dine outside once.
It was a beautiful white bricked building with a white awning.
Instantly I became excited and began checking my wallet
to make sure I had enough money to try something new and exotic.
But before I received a chance to count my duckets (ducats)
one of the guys in the group said, "Man, this place ain't for us. We don't belong here."

I had to agree.
Most of the people in our party were 16-19 year old black kids
wearing the latest in urban fashion trends.
The people I saw eating there,
and working there for that matter,
where all white, 25 and up dressed in sensible threads.
[There was one Asian waitress. Bad little number, too.]
My friend's friends were defeated before they even truly attempted to eat there.
A classic example of the black mentality:
a feeling of displacement without trying to integrate.

So I suppose I wish for a lifestyle of art exhibits, poetry readings, and outdoor dining
as a way of proving to myself that I don't have to fall victim to such a way of thinking.
It's a socioeconomic status I plan on achieving.
Besides, I heard this place called Benny's Burritos has great Mexican cuisine.
I can't let that go by.
Word.