Showing posts with label autumn. Show all posts
Showing posts with label autumn. Show all posts

November 26, 2020

Alternative Black History Facts: Pies (26/31)


The year was 1854. Tensions were especially high in Chickasaw, Mississippi. The autumn air wasn’t as crispy as it usually was, and the colonizers couldn’t stand it. Sweaty and upset, they didn’t enjoy finding their Jack O’Lanterns already starting to rot on November 1st. Usually, the families would leave their pumpkins out on the porch to scare the slaves all November until they got a taste for something seasonally sweet that apples wouldn’t satisfy. Preserving the innards from the ice box, the h’whites would still drag the jack o’lanterns inside to scoop any remaining meat out for their pumpkin pie filling. 


After smelling sweet pies on the window sill autumn after autumn, the slaves had enough of being jealous. Unaware most of the pumpkin was already emptied out, one night, Cletus and Fletus stole three four pumpkins from Massa Winston’s porch. Unfortunately, Cletus was caught by the overseers’ dogs, but he wasn’t no snitch. He destroyed the evidence and let Fletus return to the slave quarters. 


“I thought they seemed kinda light,” said Fletus when they finally inspected the pumpkins.


“Wells, whats wes gonna dos now?” said his brother Plebus.


That’s when Auntie Ruth had an idea. “Go out and fetch me a few of them yams.” Usually stewed, Ruth figured they were just as orange on the inside as a pumpkin. So she skinned and boiled the yams, mashed em up good, added some milk from the cow down the road, and some spices - including nutmeg - they hid from their owners. Crumbling stale bread to make a crust, she put it in the furnace and made something incredible.


“Damn,” Fletus said. “I think Cletus mighta got whooped for nothing.”


“No,” Ruth said. “Without ya’lls courage, I might not have had this idea.”


And that’s how the first sweet potato pie was made. To this day, black people prefer it over pumpkin pie even though they almost taste the same because making pies outta gourds is some white people shit.

 

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November 9, 2015

Fuckboi-ism & Fall of the Pumpkin Spice Fairy

And now, two impromptu poems:

Fuckboi-ism

You shack up in a committed relationship
or stay single long enough to become a fuckboi

You think it can't happen to you
you have morals but morals are shit
when it comes to carnal desires
Logic goes out the window

Drink that bottle of whiskey
Wallow in self-pity
Lie to yourself
Message that person that likes you
for a reasons you can't begin to fathom

Use them
Neglect them
Discourage them
Wait two months
Draw them back in
Repeat

Before you realize what've you become
it's too late
It's been three years
It's habit

You are fuckboi
Fuckboi are you
Never to be trusted again
until you put on that sheep's clothing

~~~

Fall of the Pumpkin Spice Fairy


Every September 22nd
after weeks of anticipation
the Pumpkin Spice Fairy awakes from her slumber
to grace lattes and baked goods with her presence
She scoots around on the Great Pumpkin
leaving nutmeg trails in her wake
She dons custom orange cardigans
inspiring fashion designers' creations
She hums Danny Elfman scores
while watching foliage land on the lake
She dines with Oprah
for the October Favorite Things luncheon

But this November 1st,
her nationwide tour of the States
was snipped by a cold breeze
scented by peppermint from the North
Jacqueline Frost appeared early
to answer the cries of those
yearning for Christmas
The fairy pleaded for one more month
to at least make it to Thanksgiving
but Ms Frost turned a deaf ear and cold shoulder
pushing the Pumpkin Spice Fairy back
until you knocked her head against a tree
banished until next year's Autumn.



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