Double Chin

Alright, fine. I'll admit it.
I've gained some weight since graduation.
I will not disclose how much,
but yes it is on par (if not past) the freshmen 15.
There has to be some phenomenon called
the post-grad 30 or something right?
...crap, I said I wouldn't disclose.

For the most part, no one's made a big fuss about it.
That was until I returned back home for a week.
"You look bigger."
"Look at that round ol' face of yours."
"You getting fat, yo."
Yes, from the subtle to the flat out,
I expected comments on my weight.
It's only fair, they didn't really get the chance to
when I gained the freshmen 15.
I was still transitioning out of the
urban baggy clothes phrase into preppy-wear.

But girth aside, I really don't mind it.
As long as I can still dance my ass off,
I could weigh 300 pounds for all I care.
...okay, not really, but you get my point.

It's my face that bugs me.
That round face comment,
it's kinda true.
My cheeks poke out above
my sideburns as they reach my goatee.
But really, the worst part
is the slow formation of the dreaded...
DOUBLE CHIN. [lightning strikes]

There's something so demeaning about a double chin.
I suppose it's the true sign of overweight/obesity.
You can hide rolls in big clothes
or lumps under a veil of black,
but not even a turtleneck will hide
that twin beast hanging from your face.

I've discovered that as my double chin began to fully form
- or perhaps it was just when I consciously noticed it -
my eyes were drawn to the chins and necks of other people.
I noticed that even some of my "average" build friends
indeed too had the beginnings of what was sure
to become a full fledged double chin,
and there was nothing I could do to help them.

I mean, seriously,
has no exercise or machine been created
to target face fat.
The market for that is WIDE open.
Do you know how many people
would kill to see their jawline defined,
to see cheekbones they hadn't seen in years
without the use of cosmetic surgery?
Why must the face be such a hard to reach area
when losing weight?
I'm almost certain that's one of the last places
you start to see results in when working out.
Then again, I'm no doctor,
so what do I know.

All I know is,
I feel sorry for every female and asian man
who lacks the ability to grow facial hair
in the vain attempt to hide their extra chin.

So to all you doubler chins out there, keep your head up
- no seriously, it doesn't look so bad like that -
at least you're not a member of the no neck committee.
Word.

Checker for Chubby

From a young age, I've been a firm believer
that big is as beautiful as skinny.
Never have I made fun of a fat person...
unless they started beef first,
then it's open season.
Shoot, I've even had my fair share of "big" crushes.
...no pun intended at all with that.

But there's something I've been wondering lately:
why is the idea of dating a bigger person so undesirable?
I understand the lust for a person with a fit physique;
they put in a lot of work (or have fortunate genetics) for their body.
However, pleasantly plump participants of the dating scene should be valid candidates for mates, too.

Traditionally speaking,
big women have naturally large posteriors and racks.
More times than not,
they're in proper proportion to the rest of their bodies.
Even more traditionally speaking,
flab was seen as a sign of wealth and prosperity
due to the lack of food for the common man of the day.
I'm thinking Louis XVII(?) era,
but I'm writing this too much on the fly to look it up.

I full support those who like bigger partners.
It is not a fetish.
The only time it goes too far is in the case of feeders,
assisting their partners reach ridiculous levels of fat.
That is true obesity.

Men are much more vain than women.
That's usually why you see hot women
with an out of shape guy.
They yearn for the inner.
Men are visual.
If it doesn't seem visually appealing, they want out.
Getting clowned by their friends doesn't help either.

Overall,
if you find a big girl or guy sexy
don't be upset with yourself.
Whether it be their confidence or size,
it's just something you're attracted to.