Batman: World's Best Psychiatrist?

So, I was watching one of the best action cartoons of all time,
Batman: the Animated Series, on Amazon Prime last night
and I came across the episode "Baby Doll."
Allow me to recap it for you as your memory of it may be hazy.

The episode follows a former child actress
who has a physical condition that doesn't allow her to age.
Basically, she's stuck looking like a 5 year old.
As she grew older, she wanted more adult roles;
however, no one took her seriously because of her condition.
She also struggled with romantic relationships because of this.
Eventually she turns her frustrations into a life of crime
and ends up kidnapping her TV family.
By the end of the episode, Batman tracks her down
and they run into a funhouse of mirrors.
While Batman uses the darkness and mirrors to his advantage,
he allows BabyDoll to have her moment
as she sees what she should look like as an adult woman in a mirror.

She proceeds to breakdown shouting that nothing is real as she shoots every mirror attempting to kill Batman. "Why can't you just let me make-believe?" she asks. Then she comes back to her "adult" mirror and shoots the woman she will never look like.
She cries as she tries to shoot her gun, but alas no more bullets. At this time, Batman walks up to her and simply consoles her.
She hugs his legs and says, "I didn't mean to."
End episode.

Besides that being an emotional ass episode,
it made me realize something about Batman,
something I truly appreciated about that show as a kid.
For the majority of the series,
Batman wasn't out to kick the asses of the criminals in Gotham.
He was out to rehabilitate them.
Yes, sometimes force was necessary, but non-lethal force.
He knew that every criminal - from petty thief up to the Joker -
did what they did for a reason, no matter how twisted the reason may be.

The reason why Batman never kills the Joker is because
while pursuing him in his early criminal days,
the Joker (then the Red Hood) fell into a vat of chemicals
that changed his appearance and drove him insane.
Mr Freeze's end goal is usually building a world in which
he can rejoin his wife, who is terminally ill and cryogenically frozen.
Harley Quinn suffers from a case of severe Stockholm Syndrome
and is stuck in an abusive relationship with the Joker.
You're beginning to see the trend here.

I mean, come on.
That's why more than half of Batman's "nemeses" end up in Arkham Asylum.

I remember one episode of Batman: the Animated Series
where he visits a drug lord
and reveals to him how his ways have affected his son,
who had become addicted to his father's own supply.
The guy basically shut up shop after that.

Batman has no need to kill.
His goal is never to punish criminals;
it's to help them become successful members of society again.
Yes, he adopted the bat to scare his enemies,
but underneath the Dark Knight is a ray of light.

I totally understand why movie studios decided
to take Batman in a darker, more brutal direction.
But removing the camp stripped away his humanity in a way.
His only humane moment seemed to occur when he tried
to help Harvey Dent/TwoFace remain on the right path.
Or when he constantly tried to win Catwoman over to his side
instead of turning her in like the criminal she was.
Hmm... maybe they did manage to keep his humane side intact.

Man, if a guy like Batman can handle intense situations like
that without resorting to lethal violence,
I wonder why the standard police force in our country
can't be more tactful and understanding
while performing their civil duties?
The world may never know...
Word.

Black White Kids and White Black Kids

"New blacks" and select white people
have been under fire lately,
mostly for saying they live in a post-racial America
or that race isn't the problem.
As tweeter/blogger Crissle has said,
"Words mean things."
I understand what they might be trying to say,
but they're stating it in a completely false way.
Culturally, we may be heading towards a post-racial society,
but we are far from achieving it.

What I do believe is that the mixing of cultures
has affected today's youth in such a way
that they no longer sees divides among each other.
They feel free to be themselves, try new things, explore.
That's how you get black kids into goth or punk,
but they're not "real black."
That's how you get white kids trying to twerk and rap,
but they're "appropriating black culture."
[Do I think appropriating black culture is a thing? Yes.
Do I think most white people do it consciously? No.
Are managers and producers profiting off it? Absolutely.]

What I'm saying is I don't hate Miley Cyrus
for wanting to twerk with a big ass.
I don't think Macklemore and Iggy Azeala are the worst;
they're fans that think they're the only good rappers are.

For as long as I can remember,
black and white culture have been affecting me.
White people are always on TV and the radio,
so that's how they get to black kids.
But for a solid five years or so in the 2000s,
black recording artist ruled top of the Billboard charts.
At least 60% of the songs heard in clubs now
are either by black singers, rappers, or producers.
So it's no surprise that eventually white people
will like it and emulate it.

While we have Mac Miller in one corner,
we have Odd Future in the other.
We have FKA Twigs and the Weeknd
making music that is so different and Alternative,
but people often label them as R&B or "Alter-R&B."
Why do black singers always have to be R&B or Pop?
Look at Macy Gray.
If she isn't Alternative, I don't know what is.

It is clear to me that in 2014,
we have a melting pot of identities,
and my generation and younger
have not felt shy about switching it up.
Shit, a bunch of black teenagers in a metal band
were just signed to Sony and have a documentary in the works.

I know I've used music as sole reference in this post,
but to me, music is culture.
It's the most frequent influence in our lives.

We are a generation of just "trying to be ourselves."
Drake is a product of his environment.
Jaden Smith is a product of his environment.
Robin Thicke is a product if his environment.
(You know he had black nannies playing soul music;
that's how he ended up sounded like that.)

But as we become more integrated with each other,
it's important to remember we still have a long way to go
until we are all actually equals.
There are still old people, middle age people
stuck thinking in a way of oppression
that have taught their children to do the same.
That's why race is still an issue.
That's why he have to remind each other of what we are.
That's why we can't be blissfully ignorant.
Pretending to not see the problem is not dealing with the problem.
And that's why "Black-ish" is a terrible show.

I'm joking. I still haven't seen it.
[I will say I liked it better when it was called "My Wife and Kids."]
But a show like that will either help show how kids today are progressing,
or it'll be a mockery and sweep all of
Black America's real problems under the rug.

All this to say, let people be who they are
as long as they aren't hurting anyone or being offensive.
Be respectful to one another and help each other prosper.
You know, judge each other not "by the color of their skin,
but by the content of their character."
Word.

How to: Live in a City Without a License

As far back as I can remember,
I have never had a desire to drive a car.
A relative once told me that when I was 6,
someone left their car door open
and I tried to drive away in it.
I'm almost positive they were talking to the wrong nephew.

Between the poor skills I display at arcade racing games and my constant drowsiness as a passenger, I am spooked of the driver's seat.
Of course, I've been told that actually driving
is different from both of those experiences,
but you don't really cure someone's anxieties
by telling them "everything's going to be okay."

So as a 25 year old member of society
and an official two-year resident of Baltimore,
I feel authorized on how to help you
live in a city without the use of a personal vehicle.
Whether you're a scaredy cat like me
or you're just in between cars
because your old one was a piece of shit
and you don't have the funds/credit for a new one,
this guide is for you.


1) Work within a 7-mile radius of your place of residence
Listen, getting to work is a hassle when you have a car.
Now you have to figure out a way there,
and the less you have to travel, the better.
If you have the option or opportunity to work from home,
now would be the time to take it.
If not, it's time to move on to tip 2.


2) Become familiar with your city's bus system
Save the environment,
carpool with strangers near you!
The bus is not filled with scum;
the bus is full of your new friends.
Just don't talk to them,
they hate being bothered on the way to work.

If you live in a respectable city,
there will be a bus stop no less than 2 blocks from you.
With the help of the internet,
you can find whether that bus will take you directly to your destination
or if you'll have to get off at some point and transfer to another bus.
While switching buses can be annoying, it's not much trouble...
as long as the busses are on time,
which if you're in any respectable city they won't be.
Just learn the CPTimes of your bus and have change handy, you'll be fine.
If you still find taking the bus beneath you,
move on to tip 3.


3) Live with or date a person with a car
When carless, the more roommates the better!
Shift your begging as frequently as possible
so that one person alone isn't burdened
by your inability to navigate the road alone.
This should work well if you roommates
have similar schedules to yours.

If you happen to be living with a jerk
or other carless freaks,
it's time to latch on to a stranger with a car.
Hopefully you're good a dating,
keeping a person interested,
and having them sleep at your place all the time,
because you will need the skills.
Don't make it seem like they're your chauffeur
in exchange for rent money;
it should be more like in-house bartering.
Eventually, however, like all lousy couples,
you will break up and have to find a new way of getting around.
Well, that's why there are more tips, friend.


4) Befriend a Lyft/Uber driver
Don't take taxis/cabs.
They've been known to rip decent folk off
with their perilous "flat rates."
Be a true citizen of the 21st century
and help gentrify the neighbor with Lyft and Uber drivers.
With use of the app, you can see who's picking you up,
their ETA, and what kind of fancy car they drive.
That's right, no more mystery cab smells for you!
Sometimes the drivers even have candy!!!
And their rates aren't too shabby either.
However, if you don't trust strangers
in 1-on-1 situations, perhaps this next tip will do the trick.


5) If available, use Citibike and/or Zipcar
Have a license but no car? Use Zipcar.
You rent it for an hour, a day, park it back
in a Zipcar location, and you're done.
No license but like exercise? Use Citibike.
Pedal your way across town and get there eventually.
Don't know how to ride a bike?
Neither of these services are available in your town?
Well... uh...


6) Become comfortable spending time at home 
Who needs a social life, right?
Home is where the heart is
and home is where you'll stay.
Because, let's face it,
you're not gonna walk somewhere.
What is this, 1920?
Who are you, your grandparents?

No, just relax at home.
You're in the city.
There's a liquor store down the street
and Netflix calling your name.
If you still crave human interaction,
this would be a good time to test how popular you are
and see if you can get people to come to you.
Then, shit, seems like you just got a new chauffeur.
Word.

Morality Role Call

There's a lot of malarkey and tomfoolery afoot this week,
so I'm going attempt to address as much of it as possible
without out rambling, ranting, or turning this into a "thinkpiece."

In the past few weeks,
I've noticed majority holders (whites/straights/men)
look at for the "How" in problems.
How did the officer get away with shooting an unarmed man?
How did those nudes get leaked?
How did she get raped?

I'm not sure if it's true for all minorities,
but I prefer to look for the "Why."
Why did the officer shoot an unarmed black man?
Why did someone leak this celebrities nudes?
Why did she get raped?
I'm a firm believer that asking why attacks problems at their root.
If we understand why things are happening,
we can recognize these problems before they even occur
and address them properly like the civilized society we claim to be.

For instance, while it is important to reprimand the police force
for abuse of power and find ways to stop them from doing so again,
why do they feel they can abuse their power?
Why do they feel it's appropriate to target people of color?
Why do they think they can get away with murder
with no proof of justification?
Why must black children be told to not draw attention to themselves
and not give the police a reason to stop them
instead of being able to trust those placed there to "protect" them?
These are but a few of the root questions that need to be addressed
in not only the Michael Brown case, but every case
that has featured the unjust killing or arrest of a person of color.
Because this shit happens too frequently
in all parts of this country for this to be coincidence.

Recently, a few celebrities' nude photographs were leaked,
the most notable celebrity being Jennifer Lawrence.
For some reason, people began throwing shame at JLaw.
(Or, if you're a simplistic man, you just locked yourself away for an hour.)
But why? Why do people care that much?
Ms. Lawrence took those pictures in privacy,
for her pleasure and whomever they were taken for.
She didn't leak her own pictures.
She and many others were hacked. [Damn iCloud.]
Shame the hackers. Shame those that seek to exploit her.
Shame those that share the pictures without her permission.
Slut shaming needs to stop.
A person has a right to do with their body as they please.
If you're going to call them anything,
call them promiscuous or comfortable in their own skin.

Along the same lines,
rape is not funny.
It is also not the victim's fault.
Why are women told not to dress so "provocatively?"
Why are men not instructed to behave themselves,
take no for an answer, and not rape anyone?
The old way only suggests: "Don't be the one rape; let it happen to that other girl."
And why are male rape victims told to man-up and keep quiet?
That's a whole different issue about masculinity that I don't have steam for.

It's very obvious that I don't have all of the answers.
But I am willing to ask all of the questions
in the hopes of building a better society and making people think.
America likes to think ourselves better than other countries,
but a few of those "bad guys" just scolded us
for the inhuman treatment of the folks in Ferguson.

Listen, I know you want to think the United States only has a few problems,
but it has many. Some problems you might not even grasp fully.
But if you choose to ignore those problems
instead of learning about them, you're part of the problem.
I repeat, you're part of the problem.
Be a better person than our parents and grandparents.
Stand up for others' rights and protection in this country.
It's the moral thing to do.
Word.