How to: Politely Tell Someone to Shut Up

We have moments when we just don't feel like talking,
nor do we feel like being talked to.
Yet, there's always someone there to talk your ear off.
Perhaps the other party is just really annoying
and you don't have the patience for it today.

Now of course,
the instant urge is to yell,
"Shut the fuck up and get away from me."
However, this is not polite
and even though others may feel the same about the other person
(you all talk about them behind their back),
they'll still give you a funny look
and leave you hanging when the other party becomes defensive.

So how do we go about this the "PC" way?
[For the record, fuck the PC way...
...but that's not very PC, is it?]

If you can tell the person is about to talk your ear off,
find a way to stop them.
One could be to walk away from your current position.
But some people are eager to share news and will follow you.

Next, try explain that you aren't in the mood to talk.
Say you have a headache
or your thinking about some things
or your not fully awake yet.

...however, some will still prove persistent.
They'll offer a quick line of advice or concern.
Even if you reject it with a "No, I'm alright",
they'll say "Ok... so..." and go on talking about what they want.

Walking away mid-sentence is rude,
and they'll only come back later to bother you.

So... smack 'em.
...wait, that's not polite.

Hmm...
You can try the Kanye approach.
"Hey, yeah. I'm really happy for you, and I'm not gonna let you finish, cause I have the most valuable time of all time. OF ALL TIME!"
Nope, somehow that still seems rude.

OK, I got it.
You grab somebody nearby and say,
"Hey, I gotta go, but Jane here would love to hear all about it."
Naw, that just passes it on, doesn't solve it.
Not to mention that move is grimy.

Let me stop joking around.
You wait til you notice they're about to pause for air,
and then you say, "Listen, I'm really not in the mood to talk.
I'll let you know when I'm in the mood."
And you shue them off.

Now, if you just plain don't like the person or they're annoying you,
you have to be a bit more direct.
"Hey, yeah. I'm sorry. I just don't really care about this conversation.
You're kinda just wasting your breath right now.
If you like hearing yourself talk,
I hear talking to yourself is great for that."
OK, not with that last sentence,
but you should say something along those lines.

I hope this has been a helpful tutorial for you.
If it has, let me know and I'll do more.
Word.

Black People Frighten Me

That's right. I said it.

Some of ya'll niggas scare the shit out of me.

I lived a relatively sheltered life.

My mom kinda kept me in the house for the first few years of my life,

and when she finally pushed me out

I found anyway to isolate myself from the kids outside

and go back inside where I belonged.

[confession: I ate a leaf so that kids would think I was cool weird.

Reality, they thought I was creepy weird.]

I mean, I went outside over my father's house.

But more times than not,

we ended up going to my friend's house and playing video games.

I've never witnessed a shooting.

I've never saw a group of gang members,

at least not that I realized.

None of my friends were a victim of gang violence.

My close friends make fun of "hoodlums."

None of my friends [well maybe one or two from my father's block]

has ever claimed to belong to a gang.

When I walk down the street and see a mean lookin black guy,

my mind imagines him beating my ass. It weird.

Now, I'm not sayin all black people are in gangs.

That's obviously ignorant and not the sole reason why I'm afraid of them.

Besides them having reckless, ignorant, and violent behavior,

blacks can be very judgmental.

If you don't fit a certain mold,

they will call you out in a heart beat.

Not like I'm the whitest black kid or anything,

but I've definitely shied away from the "hood" culture,

I suppose it could be called.

Just the other day I tweeted:

"I think I'm slowly starting to develop white people problems.... Quick, someone put me back in the hood! ...never mind I take that back."

You would think that by going to school in Baltimore,

I would venture into the urban areas a fair amount, but no.

I tend to go where the white kids go.

...sad, but true: I have not visited Morgan State since I've been down here.

In truth, I'm prejudice against my own kind.

I have this thing where I like to say, "I've been conditioned."

Conditioned to what, you ask?

To hold my fellow black brothers and sisters in a negative light.

When I see a negro I don't know,

I kind of shy away from them.

Even more so if they seem to be...

I don't know, very urban? It's hard to describe.

Like I said, they're very judgmental,

and I don't like not being like.

It's a thing I have to get over, I know.

It's funny though...

I could give a shit if a white girl doesn't like me.

...hmm. Interesting.

I suppose that means I desire my fellow black's approval.

I've never thought of it like that before.

[I love it when I have my own little breakthroughs.]

Oh, I remember the last reason why I'm afraid of blacks.

I'm concerned their ignorance might rub off on me.

Or even worst, my white friends will continually compare me to "hooder" blacks.

They'll see Soulja Boi or Gucci and expect me to love them.

Naw, I'm off that.

And I ain't dancing or sayin "lemon" for ya either.

Nevertheless,

this fear of black people's ignorance and disapproval is something I have to shake off.

It, in itself, is ignorant.

We shouldn't be afraid or intimidated by any group,

especially not when based off of stereotypes.

Long Hair, Kinda Care

Small fact,

I haven't cut my hair since... November, I think.

So by the end of this month, that'll make about 7 months.

For the better part of my college career,

and my last two years of high school,

I have kept a relatively low cut.

I would let it grow for about 2 or 3 months

and then get it cut when I could find a ride.

Prior to this,

I rocked afros viciously.

...let me correct myself.

It was more of a head full of locks.

My mom has described as a curly/nappy/straight hybrid.

This usually makes it hard for barbers to cut my hair,

not like I go regularly enough for them to know me anyway.

But yeah, back in the day

the only time I would get my haircut

was around class photo time.

And even then my momz cut my hair.

Don't laugh though,

she always made sure I looked decent.

It was never anything fancy,

but I never had a jagged hairline

(that I can remember).

Back in the day,

I loved my long hair.

I treated it like I was Samson.

Twirling my fingers through it

making tiny twist was a past time.

I acknowledged that I looked better with a low cut,

but for some reason I clung to the shaggy look.

It was during my freshmen year of high school

that my hair was its longest.

At this time, my mom braided it for me.

...yeah, it hurt, but I sat through it anyway.

It was okay... but I wasn't feeling it.

Because it hurt so much,

my mom couldn't get it that tight,

so it frizzed early.

Those braids didn't make it 5 days before I took them out.

I wore my hair out another 3 days

and then I had her cut it.

Around my junior year,

having waves in your hair was the craze,

so I forwent my hair

and got my scalp ta spinnin'. haha

My "gud harre" helped contribute to its success.

Now, for some reason,

I decided to just let my hair grow this past semester.

After the cut in November,

I let it rock for the usual 3 months.

But in February my schedule became too busy to hit up the barber.

In the following months,

I either couldn't find a ride

or I let the white kids who loved petting my hair convince me to keep it growing.

Another that kept it going were people asking me,

"Charles, you growin your hair?"

"That's what people tell me," I would always respond.

Most of my white friends were, like I said, for the fro.

They couldn't really grow it themselves

(besides a handful of them),

so I think they liked being exposed to a new grade of hair.

I always likened their pats to them petting me like a dog.

But I won't lie, I kinda liked it.

Most of my black friends were split in between,

but most days I heard,

"Yo Charles, you need a haircut, man."

And I would agree, but like I said busy schedule/no ride.

And so now, here I am again.

Contemplating going back to the braids.

The trend of guys with braids is long gone,

but I'm still curious to try it again.

It's basically comparable to when I cut off my goatee

know damn well I look dumb and baby-faced without it.

But yeah...

this was just a blog to keep you all in attendance.

I've had an incredible lazy weekend,

and I'm just tryna shake myself out of it.

Tomorrow though, you should get the usual insight and humor though.

None of this pure personal blog shit. haha

Til then my friends [and associates],

be proud of the hair you have.

Word.

Hispanics: A Feared Race?

During my hiatus

I saw an ad for the governor race in Alabama.

The white guy's main point in the commercial

was how the driver's license exam shouldn't be in 12 languages.

He said, and I quote,

"This is Alabama. We speak english. If you wanna live here, learn it."

Now, I had mixed feelings about this.

One of my Dominican friends showed me the clip,

so my mind immediately decided the guy was talking about Mexicans and other latino immigrants.

Yeah, I suppose everyone who lives in the US

should at least have some knowledge of the English language.

But the way he put it... sounded like he was against difference.

Sure, he justified his claims with how it would save the state money,

but I still felt funny about it.

This got me thinking about Hispanics/Latinos in the US in general.

Not to put anyone on blast, but I'll use Loyola as an example.

[This is prob why I waited until school was over to write this post.]

In the "minority spot" where we all hang out,

there has been more attendance from our spanish speaking brethren.

This was fine, however they always kinda separated themselves.

It was funny to observe.

You would walk in and see the black kids around the couch and chairs

and the hispanic kids around the table, or vice versa.

Towards the end of the semester, we all formed one big group,

but it took an underlining effort.

A kind of, "ok, how can we quietly solve it without calling it out and making people mad?"

Of course, once we all sat together, we joked about it.

And anytime the hispanic kids separated themselves again, we would point it out.

In all honesty, the hispanic population seems the least represented on campus.

Even the Asian population, though heavily assimilated into the white culture,

can be seen walking around the quad.

However, recently, the number of hispanics student has noticeably increased,

and a quiet concern has come across the black kids on campus.

Thoughts of them taking over and how we as black people have to hold firm

and continue as the main minority on campus.

This is probably all in my head, because I have a very conflicted mind.

But this is how I think sometimes, and I know it's wrong.

Attempting to rationalize my feelings,

I've decided it's because of the hispanic culture.

Think about it,

of any cultural group in the US,

who manages to hold on to their traditions the best.

Half of the Asian kids I know are whiter than white kids I know,

though some do manage to portray their culture.

Black kids for damn sure don't have much to hold on to.

Our culture was partially stripped from us during slavery [add smallest violin music here].

Only the a small percentage of African Americans look up their roots.

Caribbean kids are usually pretty prideful and hold on to their traditions.

But I find that Hispanics manage the best

in passing down tradition and culture.

Many of the Hispanic kids I know are bilingual.

Sometimes their parents might not even speak English,

but they still manage to function and make a living here.

I think I heard that by 2040,

the majority of citizens in the US will be Hispanic.

This can cause people to fear change.

Perhaps English will be replaced by Spanish as the primary language.

Maybe we'll have a nationwide siesta time?

You think that the liquor stores in the hoods

will be replaced by pure tequila stands?

...excuse my ignorance.

Remember, this blog is part of the process in ridding me of it.

Not just me, but all of us.

We need to have more open discussions like this.

Then we can understand more about each other,

and not fear each other... like I do sometimes.

Word.

Summer Reading

I remember getting summer reading assignments

while I was in high school.

Most kids usually were pissed they had to read,

but me being a writer, I didn't mind.

[Only the quizzes the first week back pissed me off.]

Now it seems that all us college students [and a few graduates]

are making up reading list of our own.

So, if you'd allow me,

I'd like to tell you what I plan on browsing. haha

First things first,

I'm reading my August Wilson plays.

He's my favorite playwright, possibly favorite author period.

I already owned Fences, Jitney, and the Piano Lesson.

And for Christmas, my sister got me

Two Trains Running, Gem of the Ocean, and King Hedley II.

I'm tryna convince her to buy me the last 4 for my birthday

so that I can read the whole Pittsburgh Cycle.

[Each of his 10 plays portrays blacks in a decade from the 20th century.]

Next, I'm gonna tackle some Chuck Palahnuik.

After I finally saw Fight Club last fall,

I borrowed the book from a friend and read it for winter break.

During my raid of things students were throwing out,

I came across two more of his books: Lullaby and Snuff.

So... I guess I'll be checking those out. haha.

Another thing I told myself I would do

is actually read the books I was supposed to read for classes,

at least the ones that interested me.

I mean... I was busy.

I skimmed most of them though. haha

But yeah, these books include:

Dante's Inferno - I'll eventually read the entire Divine Comedy

Kierkegaard's The Seducer's Diary - The title catches my attention

Ian McEwan's Black Dogs - About a divorce, but there's a dark secret according to the back cover.

Camus's The Plague - I started reading this; the language's a little difficult, but I like it.

There may be more added to this list as I clean my room and find books. haha

There are two books about race I really wanna read.

The first is Your Average Nigga: Performing Race, Literacy, and Masculinity by Vershawn Ashanti Young.

He spoke at my school last year and performed pieces from his book.

I bought it the same day and have been slowly chipping away at the chapters.

I like reading it on the train to make white people uncomfortable. haha

The second is Why are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria? by Beverly Daniel Tatum.

Some of you may remember my post from last fall that drew from this book.

A friend of mines has been raving about it since I started at Loyola.

So I finally bought it from the bookstore last semester.

I'll see what the hype is about this summer, I guess.

So that's about 13 altogether so far.

If I get through those in time,

I wanna go back and read some of my favorites

like Khaled Hosseini's The Kite Runner and A Thousand Splendid Suns [abused children outside of the US make for great literature],

Yann Martel's Life of Pi [a kid, a tiger, and a boat? how can it get better?]

Nick Hornby's How to be Good [some of that good ol British humor],

Uzodinma Iweala's Beast of No Nation [this and Lupe's Little Weapon are synonymous to me],

Bernard Malamud's The Assistant [corner store story ftw],

and many more that I could least but won't, for time and space sake.

I feel as if reading this summer will give it some purpose,

besides working my job and partying every other night. haha

It'll make me feel smart.

I need to watch less bad TV anyway.

Besides, I'm a writer.

I need to learn what styles really help a reader connect to a book.

I'm tryna be on your reading lists in future summers to come.

[My blog does not count as summer reading; sorry. haha]

Word.

Celebrity or Jackass

Sometime last week, I was walking across campus.

It was towards the end of finals,

so the place was nearly deserted.

As I reached the bridge to reach the residence halls,

a kid walked towards me.

He looked dead at me and said, "Hey Charles."

I almost looked behind me to see if there was anyone else,

but I knew there wasn't it.

Usually, I put on my tunnel vision,

but since he was the only other kid

I took note of him and said hi back.

Now... in all honesty,

I don't remember ever meeting kid.

I met a few friends of a friend earlier in the week,

but I didn't place them in my memory cause I doubted I would see them again.

So, I initially thought the kid had just heard about me.

You know... like he was talking to someone making an impact on campus.

Yes, of course, this made me feel good about myself.

But then I returned to reality.

Sure, I'm a presence on campus,

but I'm not really that notable yet.

[At least that's what I tell myself to keep humble.]

It was more likely that I just didn't remember meeting the guy.

A lot of white kids do tend to blur together

if I don't see them more than once.

We won't even bring names into it.

So... I'm still not sure what to make of it.

And all honesty, I did do a lot around campus this semester,

and I'll be doing even more next year.

Perhaps I will get recognized and called across the quad.

Maybe people will want to get to know me

just so they can build their resources.

Is that so bad to want?

To be a mini-celebrity on campus?

Or does it just make me an asshole?

I know we all have some sort of desire like this.

If I'm alone in this, then I truly am an asshole. haha

Word.

Why Am I Turned On?

This is a question I've asked myself throughout my life,

especially when I began exploring my sexuality.

Granted, men overall are very sexually driven creatures,

but it seems like every time I turn around,

I see someone I like.

...okay, I see a lot of people I like,

but I'm usually able to narrow it down to one I really want.

But how do I do this?

What is it that makes me desire someone so badly?

Well, it starts with the physical, obviously.

Now, does this mean the peak of fitness?

No, not particularly.

Muscular, skinny, petite, slightly pudgy, more to love, whatever.

The important thing is that it looks good on them

and they know how to accentuate their body type.

Of course, personality has to come into play too.

Sometimes you like people exactly like you in most ways,

other times you want the exact opposite.

For a while,

I believed I liked someone because they had something I didn't.

They were taller, cuter,

stronger, smarter,

musically gifted, athletic,

confident, successful, etc.

Any attribute or skill that I might not have.

But I mean...

we're all different,

so we all have something the other doesn't.

There has to be a better cause for attraction.

It must have something to do with certain combinations.

Yeah... that has to be why.

I think... it has something to do with becoming complete.

A couple is supposed to be the perfect package,

like I said, they complete each other.

They make up were the other is incapable.

When there's an aspect unfulfilled in a relationship, it fails.

I think I got a lil deeper with this post than I intended. haha.

At any rate, this is what I've come to believe.

You know... this blog is all about exploring the way things work, in a sense.

Insight and humor, right?

So where's the humor been, lately?

Don't worry, it's on the way.

And if you've still been laughing at these recent post,

then I'm obviously funny without trying. [no ego]

Anyway,

I'm finally back into the regular flow of things,

so the post we become more regular

as if it's been getting its proper fiber intake.

...don't you love bad jokes? haha

So, my dear friends [and associates],

what turns you on?

Word.

Graduation Anticipation

While creeping on Facebook today,

I saw a wall to wall between two recent college graduates that read:

How does it feel? Its true; nothing will ever be the same, but that’s life. Things change and we get older. But here’s to life after. Life after good times and care free days of no responsibilities and crazy adventures. To all the people we have met, cried with, fought with, laughed with, and loved. Here’s to remembering with a smile and getting to live those days in the future with the people who shared those moments with you, even if it’s only for a while. Here’s to staying young and being happy. Here’s to life after college…. Cue movie montage.

That got a tear jerk out of me

even though I still have a year left.

It just got me thinking...

"Damn, I only have a year left before I'm in the same position."

In truth, I'm closer than I think.

This year, something happened that I never noticed before.

After people finished their finals,

they declared they were their next year

(i.e.: sophomores said "I'm a junior").

This was the first time I ever did it myself.

My fellow juniors and I joyfully yet somberly stated we were seniors.

I suppose our generation is becoming more excited to reach adulthood,

which is something I thought would never happen.

I've been prepared to live forever young since I reached high school.

Responsibility, stability, maturity: attributes I thought I could run away from,

but they're finally catching up to me.

So... what will I do now?

Will I begin to prepare for life after college?

Will I start searching for jobs and internships?

Will I look for apartments?

Will I consider moving back home? [I can answer that one now: nope.]

Will I become an advisor to those juniors under me?

Will I compare after college plans with others?

All of this is quite daunting.

[daunting: a word I used in every essay for finals]

I don't want to give up my care free days.

I don't want to say goodbye to my community of friends.

I don't want to stop procrastinating.

I don't want to grow up.

But I have to.

To those graduating this year, I salute you.

You are brave, braver than you realize.

You are my role models more than anyone older could be.

I will be watching you closely,

observing your success and mistakes

so that I might learn how to adapt to a world after college.

If this post has depressed you,

I apologize, but it needed to be written.

This is the wake up call me and my fellow rising seniors need.

So class of 2011,

are you ready?

Are you ready to prepare for the rest of your life?

Because I'm not.

But we'll get there.

We always pull through at the last minute.

Word.

Secondhand Embarrassment

I think there's been moments in our lives

when we just feel embarrassed beyond belief.

And often, we aren't even the cause of it.

No, someone or something has done something so awkward or wrong

that it actually makes you feel awkward.

You want examples, you say?

Well...

-A guy washes his hands and gets water all over his crotch.

-An obese man has to be lifted out of this home,

and the crane breaks before setting him down.

-A girl pours her heart out to her boyfriend

right before he says, "I'm more into your sister."

-Catching your roommate watching porn or having sex.

Good TV, movies, plays, books, etc. know how to do this.

Steve Urkel is probably the best character to use as an example.

How many times did you feel embarrassed to know him,

especially when he said "Did I do that?"

Why do you think some YouTube videos are so popular?

Scarlett Takes a Tumble?

Leave Britney Alone?

Numa Numa Guy?

They're embarrassing videos,

and we love to make fun of them to cover something more.

I think I understand why we feel embarrassed for them.

It because we empathize with them;

we put ourselves in their shoes.

We understand how we would feel in the situation,

and we either feel sorry for the person

or hope that it never happens to us.

So keep feeling embarrassed for other people.

It proves you're human.

Word.

The Return

Oh! It feels so good to be back.

Yes, I'm happy to announce I am finally done with finals.
I can take myself off probation and blog once again.
And let me tell you... I missed talking to myself.
Haha. Naw, I know some of ya'll actually read this.
And to those that missed me for this 2 week stint,
I appreciate you.

Anyway... this is gonna be one of those rare ramble/recap post.
So like I said... yeah... finals.
For the most part, I had papers and projects.
Can you say procrastination, ho?
I would waste all day with friends,
then waste 12-4am browsing the web,
then nap for a bit,
and rush to get an assignment done in the morning.
I was a straight mess.
But somehow, I got through it.

Love life?
Non-existent as always.
You know me: ain't nothin out there for me.
Least nothin that I can tell ya'll about without bein cryptic.
You might see future post about it.
Not sure yet. haah

But summer is coming up...
and my bum ass'll be on campus.
Again.
Working for the same job as last year.
So... for the next 6-8 weeks, my soul belongs to my boss.
The cost of stayin on campus for free, I suppose.
But I found time to blog last summer,
so ya'll can expect the same quality/quantity of post.

But yeah... I kinda just wanted to touch base with you guys.
Like I said, I missed it. Really, I did.
I may blog over the weekend.
Not sure yet.
Oh, and I've thinking of some topics too.
So... get excited for that, I guess.
Anyway, enough rambling.
Enjoy your freedom from school.
And if you're still in school or stuck at work...
sucks to be you! haha
Nah, just make the best of it.
Positivity is key.
Word.