Black People Frighten Me

That's right. I said it.

Some of ya'll niggas scare the shit out of me.

I lived a relatively sheltered life.

My mom kinda kept me in the house for the first few years of my life,

and when she finally pushed me out

I found anyway to isolate myself from the kids outside

and go back inside where I belonged.

[confession: I ate a leaf so that kids would think I was cool weird.

Reality, they thought I was creepy weird.]

I mean, I went outside over my father's house.

But more times than not,

we ended up going to my friend's house and playing video games.

I've never witnessed a shooting.

I've never saw a group of gang members,

at least not that I realized.

None of my friends were a victim of gang violence.

My close friends make fun of "hoodlums."

None of my friends [well maybe one or two from my father's block]

has ever claimed to belong to a gang.

When I walk down the street and see a mean lookin black guy,

my mind imagines him beating my ass. It weird.

Now, I'm not sayin all black people are in gangs.

That's obviously ignorant and not the sole reason why I'm afraid of them.

Besides them having reckless, ignorant, and violent behavior,

blacks can be very judgmental.

If you don't fit a certain mold,

they will call you out in a heart beat.

Not like I'm the whitest black kid or anything,

but I've definitely shied away from the "hood" culture,

I suppose it could be called.

Just the other day I tweeted:

"I think I'm slowly starting to develop white people problems.... Quick, someone put me back in the hood! ...never mind I take that back."

You would think that by going to school in Baltimore,

I would venture into the urban areas a fair amount, but no.

I tend to go where the white kids go.

...sad, but true: I have not visited Morgan State since I've been down here.

In truth, I'm prejudice against my own kind.

I have this thing where I like to say, "I've been conditioned."

Conditioned to what, you ask?

To hold my fellow black brothers and sisters in a negative light.

When I see a negro I don't know,

I kind of shy away from them.

Even more so if they seem to be...

I don't know, very urban? It's hard to describe.

Like I said, they're very judgmental,

and I don't like not being like.

It's a thing I have to get over, I know.

It's funny though...

I could give a shit if a white girl doesn't like me.

...hmm. Interesting.

I suppose that means I desire my fellow black's approval.

I've never thought of it like that before.

[I love it when I have my own little breakthroughs.]

Oh, I remember the last reason why I'm afraid of blacks.

I'm concerned their ignorance might rub off on me.

Or even worst, my white friends will continually compare me to "hooder" blacks.

They'll see Soulja Boi or Gucci and expect me to love them.

Naw, I'm off that.

And I ain't dancing or sayin "lemon" for ya either.

Nevertheless,

this fear of black people's ignorance and disapproval is something I have to shake off.

It, in itself, is ignorant.

We shouldn't be afraid or intimidated by any group,

especially not when based off of stereotypes.