December 30, 2021

My Totally Biased 21 Best Albums of 2021


Welcome back. It's year nine. One more of these and I get a free Tidal subscription. Maybe by then Beyoncé and Rihanna will drop new albums.


2021 was yet another shitshow, but let's focus on what's important: the music. For me, 2021 was more so a year of phenomenal singles and vibes. This year's albums - I don't want to discredit them - but having to follow years like 2019 and 2020 that showed up and showed out, it was only a matter of time before a year gave us some medium grade material. That said, this year still has quality albums that you should give a chance. The collection this time around may be more eclectic than any other year I've reviewed. 


Like the year before it, 2021 saw a resurgence of genres thought long-forgotten like Pop-Punk and Grunge. Even in my search to find a worthy Rock album this cycle, I stumbled upon multiple Funk projects. It was a year of surprises. Of course, this being my biased list, you'll see old favorites as well.


Ever dutiful, I tried my best to listen to every new album as they dropped this year. I even started a quasi music blog via Instagram @djprophylactic (follow me, you won't!). However, albums slipped through the cracks as I listened to over 130 albums. Eventually I shortened my shortlist of 57 to a final 21. As always, I did so with the help of my handy criteria:

  1. Does the album have a thesis and support it? 
  2. How much does the album knock? 
  3. Does this album speak to me/the masses?  
  4. How many tracks standout vs fade into the background? 
  5. How does the album stack up against its genre peers?
  6. Does it help me forget about COVID/the state of the world?
Without further adieu, here's my opinion on this year's best albums. If I missed any great albums or you disagree, please let me know. This is always intended to start a conversation. As always, we start with those that nearly missed my full love but still desire attention.

Honorable Mentions

31) Olivia Rodrigo's SOUR (Pop/Pop-Punk)

30) Magdelena Bay's Mercurial World (Synth-Pop)

29) Audrey Nuna's a liquid breakfast (Rap/R&B)

28) Parcels' Day/Night (Funk)

27) Snoh Aalegra's Temporary High in the Violet Skies (R&B)

26) Vanjess' Homegrown (R&B)

25) St Vincent's Daddy's Home (Lounge Pop/Psychedelic)

24) BROCKHAMPTON'S ROADRUNNER (Hip-Hop)

23) SG Lewis' times (Dance-Pop/House)

22) Brijean's Feelings (Chill Jazz/House)



*~if a song has a hyperlink, it leads to a music video~*




21) Doja Cat's Planet Her
Release Date: June 25
Runtime: 44:06
Tracks: 14
Genre: Pop/R&B/Rap

Can I tell you all a secret? As much as I love Doja Cat, Planet Her isn't actually my 21st favorite album of 2021. However, as the months waged on, it earned my respect. You see, even from my first listen, I knew this album did not measure up to the greatness that was Hot Pink. Which is a shame; with a title like Planet Her, you'd think the thesis is so clear and the message would be so coherent. Instead we're treated to an album of half filler, songs to quickly be tossed up on TikTok or a fast play on the radio. Yet... Doja is a clever marketer and song maker, because the songs that do slap - that will stand the test of time - fuckin slap! She starts the album off with "Woman" and "Naked" which are undeniable Dance records. Add a little "toot toot" in there, and even Donna Summer would be jealous. The tracks worth your time become apparent as Doja raps/sings her "my pussy cums first" manifesto: what I truly expected from this project. Despite the albums hiccups, it wraps perfectly with the song of the year.

Breakout Single:
Standout Tracks:
Ain't Shit



20) Men I Trust' Untourable Album
Release Date: August 25
Runtime: 36:38
Tracks: 13
Genre: Indie/Dreampop

Men I Trust is a Montreal band I can't remember how I found. Perhaps they found me. This being their fifth album, the trio - with fun names like Jessy, Dracos, and Emmanuelle - opens with an ethereal track that sounds like a call to arms from a lady of the lake. From there, you're drawn in to delightfully two-step to lyrics and smooth beats that can only be described as dream-like yet not completely sleep inducing: a difficult task to fulfill. Emmanuelle's soft vocals lead you through a land of softboys and reliable lads she trusts to bare her soul. Through the album, she expresses doubts like not "know[ing] about your past" and "Do you miss me too?" The musicality of Untourable Album is truly what earned it a spot on this list. It reminds me of the days I would listen to Imogen Heap or Regina Spektor's early work, yet slightly more upbeat? From start to finish, this album is truly a vibe, though admittedly not for everyone. Listen to this while you have a free night to enjoy an edible and your feelings.


Breakout Single:
Standout Tracks:
Sugar



19) Spellling's The Turning Wheel
Release Date: June 25
Runtime: 57:32
Tracks: 12
Genre: Pop/Alternative

And now for the first bonus award of 2021! Earning the "Friend Recommendation of the Year" award, Spellling comes to us by way of an ally and fellow music lover. Though he heard it first from Anthony Fantino, I pushed my jealousy aside and gave her work an earnest listen. What I found was a world of musical whimsy and touching lyrics. With her third studio album, Spellling is becoming less and less overlooked. Her voice is angelic with a touch of raspiness to ground it in reality. Calling this album Pop almost feels to cheapen the messages Spellling is trying to deliver, yet her lyrics drop with such relatability, it's hard not to. Accompanied by what can only be described as a small synth-orchestra, the California native transports us to a late-80s/early-90s landscape with Falkor flying above. Like I said, it whimsical. Besides, who else could make a song about a penguin as enjoyable as Morgan Freeman did? 

Breakout Single:
Standout Tracks:
Emperor with an Egg
Queen of Wands



18) Sleigh Bells' Texis
Release Date: September 10
Runtime: 35:19
Tracks: 11
Genre: Noise Pop/Industrial Rock

I've been a phony Sleigh Bells fan since "Infinity Guitar" and "Rill Rill," but for some reason I never bothered to give their 2010 debut a listen. In fairness, I was terrible at seeking out indie albums in college. Then over the next decade, they seemed to disappear from the "mainstream" indie conversation. Now, in 2021, back with their fifth turn around the track, Alexis and Derek are back and louder than ever. Their trademark 808s shrills and grinding guitar riffs litter Texis but never become overdone. It's as if they hid in plain sight and perfected their craft. Alexis' vocals have evolved past the chants I knew her for while still utilizing the old skill. Some of the lyrics leave a little something to be desired, but the vibes are strong. And hey, simple lyrics make for easier sing-a-longs. Play this album anytime you need to hype yourself up or do chores around the house. 

Breakout Single:
Standout Tracks:
Rosary



17) Cautious Clay's Deadpan Love
Release Date: June 25
Runtime: 33:09
Tracks: 14
Genre: R&B

For any lover of R&B. unique songwriting, and vocals reminiscent of Cody Chestnutt, Cautious Clay is the man for you. Hipsters such as myself have been waiting for him to pop the last two years, dropping tracks like "Dying in the Subtlety" long before there were any whispers of his album dropping. Finally here with his debut, Deadpan Love is a record dedicated to the hopelessly awkward and desperately romantic. Without ever delving fully into the corny, Cautious' lyrics are endearing to anyone who fails at flirting. A talented musician, Cautious also helps produce most of the album. ADHD friendly, only one song on the album lasts more than three minutes, allowing for a complex array of sounds in just over a half hour. If ballads are more your speed, the Cleveland native has you covered with the second half of the album. Cautious Clay easily lives up to the hype of his prior singles. 

Breakout Single:
Standout Tracks:
Roots



16) serpentwithfeet's DEACON
Release Date: March 26
Runtime: 29:09
Tracks: 11
Genre: Alternative R&B

We all know serpentwithfeet loves a good sermon - or rather, loves taking us to church. So it's no surprise he named his second studio album Deacon. Opening with "Hyacinth" feels like a call to worship at his church for wayward queer negroes, a safe space that all are welcome to but especially his own kind. With production as smooth and sultry as we expect from the Baltimore-born artist, serpentwithfeet uses the beat to his advantage to sing his woes and triumphs. Deacon is a celebration of black love and black style. There's also a slight humble brag about being able to double his wardrobe with "Same Size Shoes" even if he claims it's about finally being able to fully relate to someone. While in celebration, there's still caution to not flaunt happiness in fear that it might last. Love is fleeting, but lust can be more fun. Play this on the way to or from a FWB's place.

Breakout Single:
Standout Tracks:
Amir



15) Ashnikko's DEMIDEVIL
Release Date: January 15
Runtime: 25:24
Tracks: 10
Genre: Pop/Rap

Everyone needs a little chaos in their ear, and Ashnikko is here to supply it. Just beginning her mixtape era, Ashnikko is already well-versed at blending genres: mainly Pop, Rap, and Punk. Warning us with her opening track that she's dangerous, she follows it up with tracks "Toxic" and "Deal With It," which samples Kelis' Caught Out There, solidifying that she's not one to be fucked with. Mixed with her carefree, try-me-if-you-dare attitude is her sexual side, ready to offer "your girlfriend cunnilingus on her couch." Her firm, barely screaming tone helps sell her songs as bops. Featuring guest spots from Princess Nokia and Grimes, Ashnikko is firmly cosigned in the alternative circles, as if her signature blue hair wasn't enough of an indicator. I wouldn't call this mixtape a full feminist movement, but it's definitely a great female forward project to dance to. And in this COVID world, I think that's the perfect balance we need right now. She even ends with a "musical" for all the cisgender heterosexual men!

Breakout Single:
Standout Tracks:
Little Boy



14) Willow's lately I feel EVERYTHING
Release Date: July 16
Runtime: 26:04
Tracks: 11
Genre: Pop-Punk/Indie Rock

Willow Smith has come a long way from singing about her hair or even fictional vampires living in an apocalyptic world. With her fourth studio album, the princess of the Smiths slides completely into her punk-rock bag to reinvigorate the spirit of the early 2000s. With instrumentals that seem inspired by N*E*R*D, Nirvana, and No Doubt, she receives her biggest helping hand from Travis Barker of Blink 182 drumming by name on at least three tracks. Full of all the angst you'd expect from a punk rock album, Willow's vocals have fully matured, allowing her to wail and serenade us at will. Her lyrics are also very poetic, giving you a little to think on whenever she's not being straightforward. lately I feel Everything easily earns this year "Cooler Than Your Vintage Memories" award. By the way, did I mentioned that annoying "Meet Me at Our Spot" song isn't on this project? And she managed to unearth the original Avril Lavigne for a feature.

Breakout Single:
Standout Tracks:
naïve
Lipstick



13) Jungle's Loving in Stereo
Release Date: August 13
Runtime: 40:02
Tracks: 14
Genre: Funk

Oh, you wanna get groovy? Then, bitch, look no further! Formed primarily by the London duo Josh and Tom on various instruments and vocals, they enlist various other vocalists to help fill out their chorus as they jam out track after track. Jungle should have made their first appearance on this list back in 2018, but they slipped through the cracks. However, finding them in the years to follow, I heavily anticipated their next project. This bass and horn riddled album far from disappoints. Loving in Stereo features funky melodies and interesting cord progressions that would make the BeeGees and the Gorillaz smirk. Lyrically, Jungle offers nothing too exciting, but who cares about that when you're dancing the night away. You can easily play this album from start to finish with a glass of wine in one hand and your darling or bestie in the other as you forgo your plans to go out and dance in your sweatpants instead.

Breakout Single:
Standout Tracks:
Lifting You



12) FINNEAS' Optimist
Release Date: October 15
Runtime: 43:01
Tracks: 13
Genre: Pop

Billie Eilish is gonna be so mad when she finds out I picked her brother's album over any of hers. Or maybe she'll be supportive? That's the kind of optimism Finneas brings to the table. Just joking, this album is full of pessimism and doubt and critiques about the world around him. Who doesn't love that? Surprisingly carrying a pleasant singer-songwriter type pitch himself, Finneas brings us his debut album. While half of the album finds him stripped down to acoustic instruments, he occasionally allows himself to get funky, adding complexity and variety to the album. Optimist also showcases his fine writing skills proving he knows how to share the best stuff for himself despite helping his sister earn a handful of Grammys. You'll find yourself singing along to Finneas' simplistic, slightly autotuned vocals as he croons about the 90s and relationships. With that I award him the "Most Emotional Big Brother" award. 

Breakout Single:
Standout Tracks:
The Kids Are All Dying
Around My Neck



11) James Blake's Friends That Break Your Heart
Release Date: October 8
Runtime: 43:42
Tracks: 12
Genre: Alternative/Pop

Speaking of emotional, my favorite sadboy released his fifth album this year. James Blake is back, and I couldn't be happier. Admittedly, rising above his last album was going to be a challenge, and he didn't quite achieve that goal. For a while, I wrote this album off because it seemed like more of the same from him. In a way, Friends That Break Your Heart is more of the same from James Blake, but what he regularly produces is fantastic and endearing and melodic. This record found him going more in a pop direction than his mumbly, singing in round debut and sophomore albums, slightly less hip-hip inspired than his fantastic fourth album. As he continues to break into the mainstream, James finds way to reinvent his sound in a way that can still capture us. Unlike before, where James sung about lust and failing relationships, as the album suggests Friends That Break Your Heart is more about friendship dynamics, envy/jealousy, and how to cope when you eventually grow apart. Things that hurt more than you realize they will; at least that was the case for me this Autumn.

Breakout Single:
Standout Tracks:
Life is Not the Same
Foot Forward



10) Remi Wolf's Juno
Release Date: October 15
Runtime: 39:43
Tracks: 13
Genre: Pop/Funk

Let me just call it for you all right now. Despite other artists debuting and having the album chart higher than hers on this list, Remi Wolf easily earns this year's "Best New Artist" award. From the first time I saw her video for "Photo ID" (not on the album) earlier this year, I knew it was meant to be. Outfitted in a hardcore late 90s aesthetic with music videos to match, the Palo Alto American Idol alum brings us raspy, sultry vocals that you'll find hard to resist. Her charm and bubbly attitude radiate off the tracks as she sings about her own empowerment, avoiding ex-lovers, trips to the liquor store, and members of the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Juno is a microdosed mushroom trip down a 90s rabbit hole through the lens of 2020 ideals and realities. It's also just a fun album. Besides one or two songs to skip, you'll find yourself throwing your head side to side along with her. Mark my word, Remi Wolf is the next big thing.

Breakout Single:
Standout Tracks:



9) Tune-Yard's sketchy
Release Date: March 26
Runtime: 37:01
Tracks: 11
Genre: Indie Pop/Alternative

It's been years since I've been able to add the Tune-Yards to one of these year-end lists. There's just something about Merrill Garbus' voice; it's so distinct, raspy, and melodic. While I love the Tune-Yards, I always have trouble truly describing them. Their sounds has evolved over the years, and they're a bit more by the books American-Rock than they were in the past, but they still have their worldly/South African flair about them despite being a California-based group. sketchy finds the duo reemerging for the fifth time, loop pedals and haunting lyrics in tow as usual. This album feels as infectious as Whokill and Nikki Nack, as Merrill laments about the courage to challenge our former selves and belief systems. Her powerful screams are matched by blaring horns, her whispers paired with soft 808 kicks and chimes. This year, Tune-Yards have earned themselves the "Return of the Mack" award.

Breakout Single:
Standout Tracks:
my neighbor



8) IDK's USEE4YOURSELF
Release Date: July 9
Runtime: 43:51
Tracks: 17
Genre: Hip-Hop

When I first heard IDK, I thought I was listening to the resurgence of "Old" Kanye. After further research, I discovered my ears were trying to fill the hole in my heart my former favorite rapper left when I casted him out. Curious about more than his flow, I gave IDK's second studio album a chance. To my surprise, once I ventured past the first track with a trap-beat, I was treated to soulful samples and 808s. Clever wordplay and punchlines transported me back to the height of backpack rap in the mid-00s. However, IDK (Ignorantly Delivering Knowledge) is far from the Mos Def type. He'll still brag on a track, spit lines about bitches, all the usual rap shit. And it's wonderful. Once he lures you in with his phenomenal bars, dope beats, and illustrious rap features, the Bowie, Maryland-raised rapper delves into more personal and taboo topics, including his upbringing and sexual abuse. There's even a skit or two! USEE4YOURSELF is more than meets the eye or ear, but you'll find that out for yourself.

Breakout Single:
Standout Tracks:
Peloton



7) Silk Sonic's An Evening with Silk Sonic
Release Date: November 12
Runtime: 31:17
Tracks: 9
Genre: Funk/R&B

Perhaps the most anticipated album of the year, Bruno Mars and Anderson .Paak had the entire country thirsting for more after they dropped "Leave the Door Open" in March. With Bootsy Collins as their special guest, An Evening with Silk Sonic double slaps us with funk and leaves before it overstays its welcome. Nostalgia for the 70s is very marketable, but you don't want to oversell the gimmick. Both Bruno and Anderson realize this, allowing their vocal and rapping skills to balance the album. I didn't measure, but they may actually share the stage equally, which is a feat when one star is arguably bigger than the other. Each track is funkier than the last as we slide from club song to sex anthem to revenge track to ballad. There's a little something for everyone on this collaboration. So gather you more agile homies, learn a song and a routine, and take to a street corner to woe the gender of your choice.

Breakout Single:
Standout Tracks:
Put On a Smile



6) Yebba's Dawn
Release Date: September 10
Runtime: 38:48
Tracks: 12
Genre: R&B/Jazz

I'd like to take this time out to thank Mark Ronson for introducing me to Yebba two years ago. And I guess I can extend that thanks to Ed Sheeran for signing her? Much to my surprise, Yebba is from Arkansas not South London, proving that America can grow blue-eyed soul ladies, too. Filling the shoes Duffy left on Warwick Avenue, Yebba gives us her debut Dawn. As I've alluded, her voice is full, dynamic, heavy but light. Siting the Clark Sisters as her main influence, Yebba performs vocal acrobatics all over this album. In her jazzy tone, she sings about the typical love and betrayal but touches on grief, having recently lost her mother to suicide. The album also features verses from Smino and A$AP Rocky. With Ronson leading production on Dawn (with help from Yebba), it's no wonder why this album is so delightful and so high on this list. Any other year, Yebba would have earned multiple "awards," but this year's top five had other plans....

Breakout Single:
Standout Tracks:



5) Lil Nas X' MONTERO
Release Date: September 17
Runtime: 41:17
Tracks: 15
Genre: Pop/Rap/Rock

And the award for "Gayest Album of 2021" goes to....! Joking aside, THE BOY DON'T MISS! It might seem confusing how a Nicki Minaj stan on Twitter become a pop sensation with a song that could have easily been taken as a joke or one-hit-wonder, but when you have marketing genius and trolling skills like Lil Nas X, stardom is as close as you want it. Out with his official debut album, LNX is the new great gay black hope (since Frank Ocean didn't want the mantle). And he has cosigns to boot. Featuring all the pop/hip-hop flair and beats we've come to expect from him and his team, Montero lets us into his mind with his self-titled album. He laments about love/lust and flaunts his sexuality in the face of conservatives, sure, but he also sings about dealing with imperfect parents, mental health, and looking for acceptance. It's a fairly emotional album, accompanied by synthesized horns and pianos. Elton John even shows up. Heavy is the head that wears the crown, and as a dark-skin black man and queer in America, he's very aware of all the targets on his back. Despite that, he sings through his pains and shares his triumphs with us. And each track is a hit. Like I said, THE BOY DON'T MISS!




4) Bo Burnham's Inside (The Songs)
Release Date: June 10
Runtime: 53:28
Tracks: 20
Genre: Synth-Pop/Singer-Songwriter

Bo Burnham has been an internet presence since nearly the beginning of Youtube. Comedy Central Records snatched him up as a teenager seeing his comedy and music promise. Some might have called him a protégé. Eventually, I'm sure that pressure got to him, and he hid for five years. He then dropped arguably one of the best Netflix comedy specials since the streaming service's existence. Basing his comedy in music, he released the special as his fourth comedy album. However, his songs don't sound like jokes. Produced solely by Bo, each song sounds like it could easily be on the radio, spanning different genres and decades. Without even seeing the special, the songs are infectious, introspective, and self aware. Bo recognizes the power he has to change and uplift the world with his comedy as an everyday white guy and agrees it's as ridiculous as it sounds. Through the album, we listen to him joke about calling his mother, white liberalism, technology, and growing older. Perhaps too smart for his own good, his lyrics are fun without being dumbed down. You'll find yourself singing along to this depressed white man's words, and for that, I award Inside (The Songs) with "The Unexpected."

Breakout Single:
Standout Tracks:
30



3) Tyler, the Creator's CALL ME IF YOU GET LOST
Release Date: June 25
Runtime: 52:41
Tracks: 16
Genre: Hip-Hop

And the award for "Most Rappinin-Ass Negro of 2021" goes to... Tyler, the Creator! Listen, when you have DJ Drama host your sixth album to give it that good 2006-2012 mixtape feel, you're already ahead of the pack. With rap features from Lil Wayne to Domo Genesis to YoungBoy Never Broke Again, Tyler has all his bases covered from Gen X to Zoomers. Still employing the smooth melodies from his most recent projects, Tyler reincorporates his hard flows and 808 heavy beats from his OddFuture days, supplying us with a rich tapestry of his current identity and the black experience. Having come to peace with his sexuality, he raps about bitches and niggas he's still lusting over. He also muses over his self reflection, community, and childhood. The pacing of the album is also fantastic. We're treated to six 150 or less second songs to give us that real mixtape feel before he transitions to more traditional 3.5 minute rap tracks. The second half of the album features two 9 minute songs, showcasing Tyler's versatility with style and composition. Call Me If You Get Lost is the perfect culmination of his skills. It's almost as if he found himself.

Breakout Single:
Standout Tracks:



2) Jazmine Sullivan’s Heaux Tales
Release Date: January 8
Runtime: 32:21
Tracks: 14
Genre: R&B

To keep it a stack, from the first note of Heaux Tales' intro, I knew this would be the album to beat. All year, I compared other projects to what Jazmine Sullivan assembled, and few measured up. I should be upset with her for setting the bar so high so early in the damn year (day 8? really?!), but who am I to hold excellence against a black woman? Cleverly pairing nearly every song with a black woman's "Tale," Jazmine's fourth album takes us on a journey of black sexuality, promiscuity, and heartbreak. Her lyrics are relatable, even when it seems like she's trippin during "Put It Down," but who among us hasn't been dickmitized into worshipping the concrete a dusty man steps upon? With a vocal range that even Beyonce and Adele could envy, Jazmine controls each track and chooses the perfect moments to show off. Featuring guests Ari Lennox and H.E.R., she proves that she knows how to play well with others, opening her up for any award show to invite her to perform multiple artists' tributes to come. Heaux Tales truly deserves the title of "Blackest Album of 2021" for showcasing black femininity as effortlessly as it does. But who could have possibly come along and pushed it out of the number one spot it deserved?

Breakout Single:
Standout Tracks:
On It (feat Ari Lennox)
Lost One



1) Adele’s 30
Release Date: November 19
Runtime: 58:15
Tracks: 12
Genre: Jazz/Soul

"It's about divorce, babe! Divorce." As the years go on and records become more digital, I prefer shorter albums. 80 minute albums are too much. However, this year's best album has the longest runtime on the entire list thanks to dynamic five- and six-minute tracks. That's right, Adele - or Delly Anne as black Twitter calls her - has returned with the fourth edition in her age-titled saga. Taking roughly five years to step away, raise her child, and focus on what she wants out of a relationship, she's returned to make us cry and wail once again. Perhaps her most musically adventurous album, Adele utilizes the jazzy influences we haven't heard since 19 along with her classic piano-balladeer skills. Always one to sing about love, longing, and lost, 30 focuses more on what Adele could have done differently in her marriage, as a person, and as a mother. (If "My Little Love" doesn't make you tear up, than you're heartless or you weren't a child of divorce.) Standing firmly in her decision to make music for her Millennial and Gen X peers, Adele is truly for all ages. She has a talent for making her experiences feel universal. 30 is a message of healing and growth, and we could all use a little of that as we move forward into the new year.

Breakout Single:
Standout Tracks:
I Drink Wine
To Be Loved


Welp. That's my time. As always, I hope you enjoyed my list and writing. If you found a typo, no you didn't. If you disagree with my picks, let me know. I want to know your favorites, too. Still can't believe this is the ninth time I've done this. I'll have to make a Best of the "Decade" list soon. Maybe it'll even have albums I ranked too low initially. Some albums have more staying power than others. Til next December, stay safe, warm, and vaccinated. 

Don't forget, you can check out my back catalog here: 2020, 2019, 2018, 2017, 2016, 2015, 2014, and 2013.
Oh, and of course, a playlist of this year's picks can be found below.



Word
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October 5, 2021

Last of the Grunts







Fluorescent lights buzzed and flickered over an elongated meeting table. Six people sat spread out around the table, a store bought cherry pie placed in the middle with a short stack of paper plates and plastic utensils. Daniel smiled at Tameeka knowing she was the one who advised against a farewell cake: too many carbs, not enough fruit. It was the least she could do, thanking him for saving her sanity.

Roughly three years ago, they and two others in their mid-to-late twenties were hired to help GlamTrek improve their outreach campaign and social media strategies. The glamour of the new job wore off after a month, but there was comradery among the recent recruits. Of one of two black people hired, Tameeka felt an instant connection yet rivalry with Belinda that she would never admit. They fought desperately for Daniel’s attention, but only she realized he was a discreet bisexual leaning more towards homosexuality but acknowledging anyone could be fun.

Three months into their employment, Ronnie was fired for stealing office supplies and petty cash. Tameeka didn’t blame him; they made well over minimum wage, but that still wasn’t much considering the price of living. Realizing that not even a white boy could get away with theft, the rest of the crew tightened up. Being closer to thirty than the rest of them, Tameeka fell into a self-appointed sense of leadership; her additional real world experience and knack for organization didn’t hurt either. It was then that she realized Belinda never saw her as a rival but as a partner who could do the things she didn’t want to do. This worked in both of their favors, because Tameeka despised handling any work with the community or strangers.

Being a woman of connections, however, Belinda left in a year’s time to become a social media manager for a new startup with better pay and better hours. Around the same time, Daniel started grad school. With Belinda phasing herself out, he naturally stepped into the community liaison role, learning that he had a passion for therapy. Over the remaining two years, he and Tameeka traded jokes and 90s references whenever they were both in the office. He was there for her when she foolishly tried to pick up the new girl Patricia and failed. She was there for him whenever he needed to complain about homework or a professor. He was such a good work friend, Tameeka invited him to her apartment whenever they had an evening work event. They would pregame with hard seltzers and grenadine, trading stories they couldn’t share in the office before running down the block to make their call time.

It was a whirlwind of fun that made a boring job exciting, but as they sat in the conference room accompanied by their two bosses, a programming manager, and Patricia, Tameeka began to evaluate her life. She was stuck between leveling up and plateauing at a position now attracting Generation Zoomers. Her work was consistent and appreciated, but would she want to progress in a place she had no allies? Worrylines attacking her forehead, Daniel nudged her with a piece of pie. She refused but felt him slide a fork into her hand and mouth “relax” as their highest level boss congratulated him on his next step across the country.

Pulling him aside, Tameeka made him promise to stay in contact. As a sign of good faith, he offered her one last piece of office gossip: he slept with Patricia last week. Stunned by the news, she instinctively turned her head and saw Patricia walking towards them. Tameeka avoided eye contact as they exchanged goodbyes. Then she felt a feminine touch on her shoulder. “Well, it’s just us now. We might as well be besties.” She looked up with a puzzled look on her face, slowly transitioning into a slow nod. Tameeka may have been the last of her class, but Daniel was not the last of her likable peers.



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October 4, 2021

Attitude

 



Int. Day - Living Room

The NYC apartment isn't large. The walls cluttered with pictures of friends, relatives, and pets. The furniture seems like it's been passed down for at least two generations. Home & Garden, Ebony, and Hispanic Network magazines litter the coffee table along with a pair of scissors. Seated on opposite couches are two women of color in their 50s. Jemma on the left is dressed in a colorful and comfortable mumu; Deborah on the right is dressed in business casual as if she popped over immediately after work.


DEBORAH
So what are you saying you "caught" him dead.

JEMMA
Yeah. Bastard was too much of a coward to cut out on me, so he offed himself.

DEBORAH
There's so much to unpack here. Okay, you don't seem that shaken up about it.

JEMMA
Why should I be? This was a long time coming. Listen, it's no secret Eugenio and me had our issues. Shit, half the building could vouch for how often we argued. Half the block even. [laughs] There's was this one time I threw a phonebook out the window at him. Honestly I can't remember if I was upset with him that day or if I just wanted that relic out the house. He's was always hoarding shit. All these magazines are his but now I can't bring myself to throw em out. Think I might make a collage or something for the funeral. What do you think?

DEBORAH
I mean, if that's how you wanna commemorate him, go for it. Never knew he was a Home & Garden man.

JEMMA
You know I liked them a lil fruity. Sorry, effeminate. I always forget you have HR training. 

DEBORAH
Speaking of, you said he was cheating on you?

JEMMA
Nah, he didn't have the cohones. But if you dig a lil deeper under the magazines... [she begins to part them like the Red Sea]

DEBORAH
Attitude?

JEMMA
It's for the queer community. Mostly gay men.

DEBORAH
And he just left them over the house?

JEMMA
Nah, he had em stashed like porn in different crevices of the apartment. Didn't find these until I was looking for his suit this morning. I arranged them like this to be dramatic. It's strange. You think in this city of all of em, he woulda have at least explored a lil bit, but he was always a homebody. Bastard never wanted to go out dancing.

DEBORAH
Yeah, any time we went out, you'd spend half the night complaining about him and the other half spending time getting a guy to buy you drinks.

JEMMA
They were good times! Harmless flirting. And I would come home those nights and find him snoring. And snoring. And as the years went on the snoring got worse. And as the snoring got worse, he got more forgetful, lethargic. I'd give him an errand to run and I'd catch him napping on the couch ten minutes later. "Aye, I just need to rest my eyes first." It's like he relished in sleeping to get away from me.
Well, come to find out the fucker had undiagnosed sleep apnea. I'm a heavy sleeper, so it never woke me up, but apparently he'd stop breathing in the middle of the night. Well, I went out with Yolanda two nights ago to see the new Marvel - you know me, any reason to get outta the house. I come back to find out he snored his last snore. No oxygen and his brain just cut out. Didn't even look like he ruffled the sheets. Fucker just submitted. Like he did it on purpose. 

DEBORAH
Don't be foolish. Who would do that?

JEMMA
[tearing up] A lazy mothafucker, that's who! Fucking pacifist. He always took the road of least resistance. What's easier than dying in your sleep? I knew he was unhappy with me, but I thought we had a suitable arrangement. I swear he loved my nightly recaps. But he rarely talked to me. And then I'd nag him and then we'd fight. Part of me is glad I don't have to take care of him anymore, but I miss him. Is this my fault?

DEBORAH
No. No, it is not. It sounds like he was depressed and didn't reach out for help. It's sad but it's nobody's fault.

JEMMA
You're right; it is his fault.

DEBORAH
That's not what I--

JEMMA
Ugh, why'd he have to be another man of color to die in his 50s. I'm sick of all these [she leans out the window] white people moving into my gotdamn neighborhood!

DEBORAH
[dragging her friend back inside] That's not helping.

JEMMA
Sure felt good to me. Eugenio would have laughed at that. 

Deborah looks around the living room until she finds what she's looking for. Picking up a phone book, she hands it to Jemma who's eyes light up with glee. Rolling back her shoulders, she winds up and hurls the phone book out the window at a young white man jogging. The women hide behind the sides of the window and fall over laughing once a scream confirms the target has been hit.





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October 2, 2021

A Preparatory Story: Geoffrey






He never aspired to a position of power, yet Geoffrey had been groomed for this life. Through he originally entered St Ignatius' all male atmosphere as a trio of gays like the reigning senior gays at the time, he now found himself the sole out homosexual of his class in his fourth and final year. It was unprecedented, really. The head queer, while fearsome, always had at least one - if not two - colleagues to help them rule quietly. And though Geoffrey knew of others his year he could confide in, none were ready to stomp the halls with him.

Confident in his sexuality and his slightly sturdy build, it still perplexed him that even in his last year his classmates would pull him aside to ask, “Hey, are you gay?” purely out of ignorance. He knew he wasn’t the most flamboyant of his peers, but he assumed it would have become obvious after four years studying together. There were only 107 students in their grade, after all. Yet he brushed it off, knowing he had his conquest in his day.

Of course, that was the chief - but not sole - purpose of the yearly renewed queerdom. In a school full of hormonal teenage boys, there were bound to be questions, inquiries, and explorations. Throughout the years, Geoffrey and his peers discretely addressed their fellow classmates' sexual concerns in the secrecy of the preparatory walls, some finding the courage to join their ranks at the end of a senior year, others accepting a mouth was just a mouth. (This was before the days of sexuality commonly being accepted as a spectrum, particularly in the black community.) The second role of this society was to ensure that queer students and other queer individuals their peers would meet later in life would be respected and treated as equal. No stigma, all chill. Lastly, if the head gay chose to accept, they were to influence the politics and culture of the school as a whole. Some saw it important to be part of the school government directly. Others, like Geoffrey, preferred to work in the shadows.

Today, however, he had to address the first two missions directly. The Class of 2009, as a collective, had been a problem since they stepped foot on campus their freshman year. Now as sophomores, they felt new rambunctious energy as the Class of 2010 entered. These two classes saw new spikes in openly out and daring homosexual boys, eager to speak their mind in any situation despite the danger or the authority figure. Knowing he only had so many lieutenants in the Class of 2008, Geoffrey saw it imperative to hold a caucus of all the known gays by October of that Fall Semester.

With Mr Ness occupied with Water Polo tryouts and practice, Geoffrey sat behind his desk in the office looking out into the cafeteria. Ness’ office was a common meeting place for queer students, water polo players, student government leaders, and any upperclassman looking to lurk on campus after hours. It was a modest size, enough room for a couple of worn in couches and a small armchair to line the walls with another chair sitting opposite of his desk. Plaques, degrees, and photographs of alumni and former water polo teams hung from the walls. That afternoon, Geoffrey was joined by Navius - a junior gay - and Conrad - a bored senior.

“What time are they all getting here? You know I gotta leave for work,” Navius said anxiously, watching the clock and tucking his grey polo into his khakis.

Geoffrey adjusted his glasses, keeping his gaze fixed on his history textbook. “As soon as Lionel gets here, you can leave. You got bout ten minutes to walk across the courtyard; you’ll be alright.” Hearing Navius huff, he looked up. “Look, the problem is they do what they want as it is. And that’s fine. We don’t need to be an unified front. They just need to know the rules and respect them so we can all… well.”

“Oh, don’t be modest on my part,” Conrad cut in, picking out his hair. “It’s not like I don’t know. After spending the last year eavesdropping, my world view has been illuminated. If these walls could talk --”

“Exactly. And we don’t need the faculty having more concern than they already do.”

“Imagine if they were running around doing the same thing though.”

Geoffrey and Navius shot him a lowered-eye, raised eyebrow smirk.

Conrad adjusted his legs underneath him on the couch in a singular leap. “Okay, who the fuck did what? Tell me!” Noticing he was shouting, he adjusted to a whisper. “I mean, let me in. Please.”

As Navius started to open his mouth, Javon and Kyle burst into the room, Lionel following behind them. “I’m telling you, you gotta try the sushi,” Lionel said. “Even from the cafe, it delivers.”

“Raw fish tho?” Kyle questioned.

“You’ll slurp it right up, no hetero.”

Navius chuckled and shook his head. “Ya’ll too much. But that’s my cue. Good luck, Geoffrey.” Before the senior could get a word out, the student worker grabbed his backpack and slid between Javon and Kyle out the door.

“Well,” Javon smacked his gum and plopped his in the chair angled in front of the desk, crossing his short, slender legs, “you called for the gurls--”

“--and the gurls! Have arrived!” Kyle spun slowly with his arms above his hands flourishing out. Dizzy from even that he sat in the chair closest to the door. Lionel, looking to keep things casual, opted to sit next to Conrad. They exchanged smiles.

“I guess asking for every single one of ya’ll to come was too much?” The lowerclassmen shrugged. Geoffrey closed his eyes and channeled Bernard who had come before him. “Listen, you know I love ya’ll - and pass this on to ya’ll friends - but ya’ll need to dial it back.”

“Uhn-uhn. I refuse to dim my star just because you’re boring,” Kyle snapped.

“First of all, lil boy, that’s not what I was talking about. Secondly, Brady and em used to stomp down these halls in full geish and heels. So learn ya history.” He took a moment to readjust himself behind the desk. “I’m talking about outting these boys ya’ll be messing with. We don’t do that.”

Javon sucked his teeth. “Yeah, I hear you, but these niggas be tryna pop off, and I’m not gonna let them talk to me me any kinda way. They wanna try me, I’mma come for them.”

“But see,” Lionel chimed in, “you gotta be strategic. Like, boom, a dude I messed with tried to play me in front of his friends last year. So I read his dusty ass twists. He ain’t have much to say after that.”

“Why I feel like I know who you talking bout?” Conrad felt Lionel elbow his ribs.

“I guess,” Kyle said. “But that don’t feel as satisfying.”

Geoffrey polished his glasses. “Trust me, it will. Just don’t embarass them too bad if you want them to keep finding you after school. Otherwise some of these men aren’t gonna figure themselves out til college or worst after they knock some poor girl up three times.”

“Okay, point taken, bitch.”

“Don’t call me bitch.”

“What up, bitches!” Silas burst into the room with two other water polo players following behind him. “Fuck ya’ll talkin bout in here? What up, ‘Rad?”

“Shut up, Silas. What are ya’ll doing here anyway? I thought ya’ll had practice.” Geoffrey swivled in the chair to check the calendar behind him.

“Nah, it’s just tryouts today, and I ain’t the captain so we waiting til they done.”

“Mmhmm.” As he turned back towards the door, through the space between the intruders, he spotted Trey in the cafe. “Excuse me for a second.” Manuveuring through the crowded office, he slipped out.

“So what, are we dismissed?” Javon called out to him.

“Yeah, we’re done. And Silas, don’t take my seat.”

His 6’5” friend had a clever response, but Geoffrey didn’t hear him as he glided to Trey who busy filling his water bottle. His wavy caesar hair shimmered in the sunlight coming through the glass doors, his sienna skin well moistured. He wore a t-shirt and athletic shorts that hung loose every where but his posterior, which at the moment mesmorized Geoffrey. Snapping back before being caught, he greeted his friend.

“Oh, yo, what up, G?” Trey smiled as he released the button to the fountain. “Did you want to get in on this?”

“What? No. I just… wanted to make sure you remember he have that history quiz tomorrow.” He amazed himself.

“That’s why I’m glad I got a spot next to yo smart ass in class. Bout to be cheatin than a mothafucka.”

Geoffrey rolled his eyes. “Or you could just study.”

“Nah, I’m bout to go practice some lacrosse drills.”

“Ya’ll aren’t even in season.”

“Grind never stops, knahmean. But if you’re here after I’m done, I’ll catch you for some notes.” Trey started making his way out the door, flashing his smile as usual.

Geoffrey hoped he had positioned himself out of Silas’ view to avoid ridicule. From the looks of it, it seemed most of the gays had cleared out of Ness’ office. As he started to make his way back, he noticed Conrad leave and pause at the cafe exit leading towards the computer lab. The afro’d lad cracked his neck and peeked behind him before carrying on his way. Having no real desire to reclaim his seat, Geoffrey followed him at a distance. The halls remained quiet as they each softly stepped, only noise of opening and closing doors echoing. Around the corner from the computer lab across from the bottom of the steps were double doors leading to the back stairwell and the closed gift shop. And one more door that was rarely used that led to the prayer room. Ensuring no one was behind him, he checked the doorknob: it was unlocked. He opened the door to find Conrad casually sitting on a pillow. He closed the door and locked it. This was discretion.





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October 1, 2021

Dusty




Dusk peaks through as stratus clouds cover Fourth City. Trash outline crashed cars. No lights flicker from the abandoned commercial buildings, no street lights either. Only the headlights of a modest hunter green Suburban illuminate the road as it makes its way past the city limits and into vast deserts that have become the norm. Colby gazes longingly out the back window as she strokes Martin’s forehead, his skin dry and ashy.

“Did we really have to leave?” she asks her companions in the front seat. “I think we could have survived another day.”

“Said the woman with the dying boyfriend in her lap,” Jace stares into the night before him from the passenger seat..

“All the less reason to move him!”

“Colby, was Martin’s piss not completely brown? Shit, mans was more dry than the pot he pissed in. Literally.”

“I wouldn’t know how brown his pee is. I’m not constantly looking at his dick like you are.” Colby looked back down at her mate. “But I do want to get him something to drink. He’s too beautiful to die.”

“He’ll do more than that if he dries out on us.”

“We already lost our first aider. I’m not losing anyone else if I can help it.” Barbara’s grip at ten and two tightens. Her buzzed head doesn’t hide the grays she’s growing, her chosen family growing smaller by the day. “We have to keep moving during the night as planned. That’s the fourth dry and empty city we’ve come across.”

Jace laughs. “Yeah, a lot less empty than the third one.”

“You’re not helping, Jace.”

He reaches into the glove compartment and grabs a hunter knife and a smooth stone. “I’ve helped plenty. Got more kills on these two separately than you do on your lil pea shooter.”

“It’s for emergencies only. And I still have faith we can find a solution.”

“Yeah, fuckin likely.”

“Fine.” Barbara removes her left hand from ten and tosses her pistol from her holster. “We’ve got three bullets left. Don’t waste em.” They trade a glance of competitiveness.Jace sucks his teeth as he nods and pockets the gun.

They ride in silence for less than a minute before the sound of hacking can be heard from the backseat. Jace turns in his seat to inspect the situation and finds Colby covering Martin with spit. “White gal, the hell kind of foreplay is this?”

“I have to keep him hydrated and this is all I have,” she said calmly trying to reserve her strength. Martin moans. “See, I think it’s working.”

“Bitc--- You’re not even getting it into his mouth.” Jace throws his stone at Martin who winces in pain. “There. Squeeze some water outta that or just bash his head in. And don’t you even start at me, Barbara. You just keep your eyes on the gotdamn road.”

“So much for fucking him, huh? Ya know, it’d be a lot easier if you weren’t suggesting we off our friends every ten minutes.” Her gaze fixed onto Jace. “Give me the gun back.”

“The fuck I am.” He pulls out the pistol and aims it at her head. “Martin could turn at any minute now and I ain’t gettin’ bit. So you keep driving or I waste two of these bullets real fast.”

Barbara shakes her head. “So you’re just gonna waste my bullets right away, huh, Jace?” Steering with her left hand, she grabs the gun with her right and points it up in the event he actually pulls the trigger. Instead, he tickles her armpit causing her to swerve on the dirt road. She tries to lower her arm but his attack is relentless as he maintains hold of the gun. Suddenly, POP!

The suburban slides left and right across the road until Barbara can steady the wheel and bring the vehicle to a stop. She checks the backseat; Colby is shaken but still holding tight to Martin. From what she can see, the roof of the car is still intact. Martin moans from the passenger seat doubled over. “What are you tryna do: kill me?” he screams.

In disbelief of his obtuseness, Barbara hops out of the car with the engine still running, not caring whether he lives or dies. “Fuck!”

Rolling down the window, Colby pops her head out. “What’s wrong?”

Barbara reaches through the driver side to turn off the ignition. “Front wheel popped. We’re not gonna be able to keep driving for long like this and we’re sitting sacks if we stay here.” She surveys the land with what little sunlight is left, wishing she hadn’t been so fast to kill the headlights.

“I don’t know why you didn’t let me ransack the whole city. I could have found us plenty of spares. I mean, what’s the point in stealing a car if we’re not gonna steal all we can?” For once Jace makes a point Barbara can’t deny, which only makes her more upset. “Mmhm, like I thought, you’re a shit leader.”

“Take that back, Jace! She’s doing the best she can,” Colby says as she jumps out of the car, dragging Martin along with her. Jace starts to scold her for leaving the backseat, but In truth, it’s relatively easy for the 6’3” former volleyball player to throw her 5’5” partner over her shoulders. In the short drive, he had forgotten he was only seating in the front seat because she allowed him to. “If Barbara says it’s time to hoof it, then it’s time to hoof it.”

It only takes six steps away from the Suburban for Colby to regret her decision. Feeling a slight crack under her foot followed but rustling, she makes use of her long legs and runs past Barbara carrying Martin like a backpack. Jace hops out of the car and jumps on the hood to inspect the situation. On the left side of the car, from under the sand, arises a tattered being more bone and sinew than skin and cloth. It’s eyes were sunken in yet thirsty for a fresh sight.

“Oh, you’ve gotta be kiddin’ me.” Jace climbed onto the roof of the suburban as three more creatures unearthed themselves on the right side of the car. “Of course, they sleep in the sand to keep cool. Of course, why fuckin wouldn’t they?!” Frantic, he reaches for the gun and aims it at the closest one on the right but his shot goes wide to the right - almost hitting a creature farther right. Jace looks over to Barbara who almost wants to laugh. “Oh shut up.” Feeling outdone, he tosses her the gun. Catching it and looping it around her finger, she quickly lines up a shot and takes out the monster Jace missed and the one he almost accidentally shot.

Rolling his eyes, Jace lets his guard down and doesn’t hear the fifth abomination creep up behind him. It grabs his ankles, and he falls hitting his head against the roof. Disoriented and frantic, he reaches for his knife before realizing it’s lying on the dashboard. Making his peace with the world, he shouts, “Run, bitch!”

Barbara tries to creep around the side of the car to save him but is met by a lone monster which she immediately shoots in the head. Out of bullets she watches in horror as her most annoying but loyal friend becomes a prune. The creature sucks on Jace’s ankle as he screams and attempts to fight back, only becoming weaker with each passing second. As his pale skin becomes translucent, he passes out. And then - poof - a cloud of dust appears, leaving his clothes draped over the back of the suburban.

Tears welling up and her eyes, Barbara runs after Colby before the creatures can feel the addition of moisture in the air. Before long, she catches up to the former sports star, and they find an abandoned building in the middle of the desert. “Is this on the map?” Colby askes.

“What map? I left it in the car like a coward. Crap, we left all our supplies behind. Jace was right; I’m leading us astray.”

“Listen,” Colby takes Barbara’s face into her hand. “You’re doing the best you can, and three of us are still alive.” Martin moans. “Well, mostly alive. Now let’s explore what’s probably a mirage and see if we can’t save my boyfriend.” She pecks Barbara on the lips and walks through the door.

With the quarter moon out, the interior of the building is partially illuminated. As her eyes adjust, Barbara sees Martin start to twitch. “Hey, Colby…”

“Just a little bit farther. We have to find water in here. He can’t turn yet.”

“You sure about that?”

Heeding her friend’s warning, Colby swings Martin off of her back until a nearby table. She rubs her eyes in circular motion of him, as if to milk them but nothing comes out. Realizing her plan, Barbara steps in. She thinks of the horrors she just witnessed and channels a tear. As it starts to well in her eye, Martin’s ashy skin begins to flake off, his hands crawling uncontrollably at his side. Barbara springs back as the tear leaves her cheek and lingers in the air. Eyes still closed, he catches it in his mouth and licks his lips. Colby begins to smile and lean in to hug him but feels a tug on the back of her shirt. As Barbara yanks at her, Colby sees Martin’s eyelids pop open to reveal sunken sockets. She yells and grabs Barbara’s hands as the women try to lose their recently turned friend.

Still spry, Martin chases after them on all fours, leaping from equipment to table to window ledge inevitably missing and falling as he adjusts to his new abilities and water-lust. On his third blunder, he looks up and realizes he’s lost them, letting out a crunchy, dry, defeated howl.

Having found a room, Barbara and Colby sit on the floor, back against the closed door, as they gasp for air. Colby, still too dry to cry, plants her face in her hands and pretends to weep. “How long? How long before we end up just like him? Ugh, just kill me.”

Finally cried-out herself, Barbara slowly realizes they’ve locked themselves in a closet. The walls are lined with boxes on shelves, dated from two years ago. She slides a box off the second shelf which plops down softly next to her and opens it. A chuckle escapes her lips, then full on laughter. It disturbs her friend’s dramatics and causes bewilderment. “What’s so fun--” Before she can finish, a thud crashes against the door. Barbara continues to laugh as she reaches into the box.

~~~

Barbara relaxes with her feet up on her desk, empty bottles of cola and other sodas littering the surface. Colby sits across from her, stroking Martin’s hair as drinks from the bottle of orange soda strapped to his face. They may die of diabetes, but for the moment, they were safe and hydrated.




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