Arguing for Fun

Talk'o Tuesdays. 1st Ed, 2nd Vol. 

I never quite understood the need for arguing. For me, it's always been attached to anger and resentment. At its basis, there must arise a winner and a loser or worse: two losers as declared by a draw. My friends in relationships tell me arguing is healthy for any relationship, and I've definitely held my fair share of disputes with friends, but they all feel toxic to experience. 

So when I watch friends debate for the sake of debating and coming away nowhere near each other's throats, I am thoroughly confused. I'd even go as far as disappointed, upset that my television program didn't wrap up as expected. Some call it a meeting of the minds or sharing knowledge, but I call it foreign. 

I understand that in this world of sin, we're supposed to help each other in whatever way we can. Passing on information seems a great way to do so. Often, though, discussing which character portrayals in Midnight in Paris were true to their real life counterparts and then launching into an explanation of Hemingway's marriages and divorces can come off as bragging. Humans are very jealous creatures, and I've seen handfuls of friendly debates end in resentment, unbeknownst to the person held in contempt. 

Usually this person does not deserve the disdain they've attracted, but there is one culprit who does: the one sided arguer. No matter how hard you persist, they'll keep talking at you until you agree with them. They're conviction about Beyoncé being perfect in every way is too strong for them to listen to your counterpoint about Queen Bey's acting talents. It's pointless. You know this. Everyone around you knows this. But you're unable to escape Hurricane Yoncé until your opponent has run out of steam - or until someone else mentions feminism and Hillary Clinton. 

These two instances aside, it's always important to know when to fall back. So many parties have been ruined after two white guys couldn't stop debating over Radiohead's best album. Know when you've divulged enough information and when your brain has absorbed as much as it could. There are other debates to be had, my friend. 

On the other hand, it could be harmful not to engage in arguments. If you hear your friend saw they don't understand the importance of multicultural representation in media and all you do in response is "Mmm" while walking away to remove yourself from a stressful environment, you're not doing your part to enrich your community. At the very least, you're being a bad friend. That's right, you're the bad friend. Sometimes the headache is worth defending your friends from someone's misogynistic, off-hand comment. 

I admit, I am a frequent information withholder, but I'm trying to better myself. I'll never be on the level of "Tell me more about your findings in Morocco," but I hope to at least become an "I don't agree with you" person. Because open communication makes the world go round, or something like that. 

Word.