[This is an installation in a series I began in 2017. Each stands alone as its own piece.]
Monologue 1: Housing -- Monologue 2: Green Thumb -- Monologue 3: Secession -- Monologue 4: Thirty More -- Monologue 5: Eustace
Dude, it's gonna be awesome. I've been working all these jobs all year: babysitting, pool boy, stock boy, mail boy, go go boy, grease monkey. And with their powers combined, I've saved up some [whispers] disposal income. [normal volume] I was tempted to stash it all under my mattress just so I could roll around in it, but you know, dirty money. Actually, I can just take a shower afterwards.
Anyway, I'm gonna spoil the hell outta you guys. I don't care if we pick names out of a hat, all of my favorite people are getting what I think they deserve this year. After the year we've all had... Shelley's car crash, Minnie's cancer scare, Gil's divorce, Quincy's craft beer explosion, and Raquel's foursome deciding to be a throuple without her... Yeah, there's need for joy in this group.
I wonder if I should get a lil... no, the club definitely has a skimpy santa's suit I can borrow the day of. Everyone loves slutty Christmas! Maybe I can just give Raquel a lapdance as her gift. Aaahhh, I'm just kidding; that's gonna be Gil's gift.
I've never been able to do anything like this, man. I'm so excited to be the sugar daddy for once. All I need you to do is not say a word... but get everybody's addresses. And maybe get a reindeer or elf costume. The more skin the better; potbelly midriffs are very in this season. Like the Santa Clause! And at the end of the day, you'll get the best present. No pressure to get me anything, obviously. The only gift Slutty Santa is gonna need are the smiles from all the lil unfortunate guys and gals across town.
Word
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