Int. Plural Radish Black Box Theater
Black walls, ceiling, and floor form a perfect cube to create a theater space. Spotlights hang from the ceiling, but the work lights are on now to fully illuminate the room. The chairs are stacked except for seven forming a circle in the middle of the room. RAHIM, 27, African-American; TITUS, 31, Caucasian; and ITHACA, 34, Caucasian sit bored checking their phones.
RAHIM
I don't think anyone else is coming.
TITUS
They'll come.
ITHACA
You didn't make this a mandatory meeting. I barely rolled out of bed for this.
TITUS (annoyed)
They'll come.
RAHIM
Aight, but can I just start? I only planned for the hour, and I was hoping to grade papers down at Green Jenny's before they switched to happy hour. I'm no good with discount beers in front of me.
Titus pauses to respond until Ithaca slaps him on the shoulder.
TITUS
Yeah, fine.
RAHIM
Cool. So, I was telling Titus we should start advertising our shows on Tiktok.
ITHACA
Oooooh, this is why nobody else showed up.
Ithaca starts to gather her belongings.
RAHIM
No, seriously, think about it. We do stupid shit on stage all the time just messing around. If we record enough of those sessions in self-contained 60 second bites, we could bring in a bigger audience.
ITHACA
Teenagers. You really think teenagers would come to an improv show? The average age of our audience is 48, and that's with our friends coming to humor us.
RAHIM
(pitifully) I'm not a teenager. And you'd be surprised who you can reach on tiktok.
TITUS
Yeah, I watch tiktoks.
ITHACA
Aaah, no wonder you greenlit this pitch. Shouldn't have expected anything more from a manchild.
TITUS
Listen, this could actually be a way to expand our audience so we can stop paying our dues on this space outta pocket. Yeah, most of the creators on that damn app are under 23, but there are plenty of 30-somethings quietly watching as they procrastinate falling asleep too, even if they don't have the damn app.
ITHACA
So you want our videos to actually go viral? You know going viral isn't what it was ten years ago, right?
RAHIM
Mmm, she's not wrong. Our attention spans are def shorter. Like, you gotta be a God-Level tiktok if you wanna be remembered. Like so good you inspire copycats or a whole ass trend.
ITHACA
I'm not dancing.
TITUS
Oh, yeah, no. (He shakes his head as if to say "me neither.")
RAHIM
Ya'll are stiff, anyway.
MONA (off-screen)
It's gotta be something that slaps.
MONA, 28, Dominican-American, walks out of the shadows wearing all black. She spooks the men.
RAHIM
Damn, Mona. You gotta stop doing that.
MONA
Never. Anyway, we don't need to be original first. We can ride coattails til we finally start being funny; whenever that happens.
RAHIM
She's gotta a point.
Ithaca starts making her way towards the door.
TITUS
Ithaca! Come back.
ITHACA
This meeting coulda been an email. At worst, a zoom meeting. When ya'll are done deciding who to copy, let me know. Besides, you don't need the whole troupe for phone skits anyway.
RAHIM (checking his phone)
Yeah, I'mma get going, too.
TITUS
What?
RAHIM
Full transparency, my partner got outta work early and just sent me the purple devil emoji. Also, she scares me (motioning towards Mona) and there's not enough of a buffer anymore, so...
Ithaca and Rahim exit.
TITUS
That's fine. Mona and I can come up with something on our own, right?
Titus turns around, but Mona has faded back into the darkness on the edges of the room. Before exiting herself, she turned the lights out on Titus.
TITUS
Welp. I guess that's a wrap on today.
Word
~~
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