Watching

We, as a curious people, are very observant.
Many a time do I find myself staring at some one walking towards me on the sidewalk only to divert my eyes as they come closer.
Where did this taboo for looking at strangers come from?
We all stare and turn our heads when someone catches us.
You know the feeling yourself; it's like a Spider-sense goes off.
What draws us to look a people?
What attracts us to them?
Is it attraction?
In some situations, yes.
We look in a kind of hope residing in the back of our heads that they will catch us.
This way they know we're interested, forcing the next move on them.
Other times, we stare because we find something off.
Someone's hair is all wrong.
Their clothes don't match.
They have their kid on a leash like a dog.
What ever it is, we stare in hopes for correcting it, but do nothing.
Or we stare to get a quick laugh in.
But sometimes, staring can come out of pure boredom.
You may be waiting for the bus, train, or plane and see a person readin a paper.
The headline on the first page catches you.
It's about the war, or the recession, or if you're lucky a new detail about Chris Brown goin angry black man on Rihanna.
You stare intensely attempting to read the story from the next seat over.
Then, like magic, two red circle appear on the other side of the paper.
This alerts the original reader who then puts the paper down to catch your eyes.
You blush and divert your eyes to the board with the departure times.
Quick save, but it won't stop you from doin it again.

Speaking of watching, you know what really grinds my gears?
People looking over my shoulder to see what I'm typing.
They may not actually be even tryin to see what I'm doin.
Just their presence messes with my soul and I halt most of my usual activity.
I don't want to give them the satisfation of something juicy.
Yet, I'll do just the same to someone else.
Not usually, but if they give me reason to believe their up to no good...
Here, they know I'm there.
If they didn't want me to see, they shouldn't have been doin it.
Mmm... there I go, contradicting myself again.
My, how the mind can work.
Time to reevaluate things again.
Darn these blogs! [Not at all, I love em.]
Word. [to ya mother]

Chivalry

I was waiting for my train at Baltimore Penn Station.
I happened to be sitting in front of the door where passengers exit from their previous travels.
I'm a people watcher, so I stared intensely at the rushing crowd.
A little before midway through, this tall shifty looking negro emerges from the crowd and holds the door open.
I'm thinking, "Hmmm... okay. He must be waiting for his girl or homeboy to come up."
He was standing there for a solid minute; ain't no one come up he was with.
Then, I saw him swiftly catch the other door to the opening.
That's when this blind white lady come up and walked through.
I could tell she was blind cause she had one of them long ass sticks.
Yo, let me tell you, if ol' girl had got hit by that door...
I'm sorry, but my spirit not strong, ya'll.
Ya boy woulda started dyin. I wouldn't even be able to help her.
I woulda felt like I was too far away.
She probably woulda went flyin back like she got hit by that girl from Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and shit.
I woulda had to go to the bathroom.
And some of ya'll know ya'll woulda been the same.
But anyway, after that, the shifty lookin negro kept holding the door.
When the crowd died, and all had come up, he left his post.
Alone.
Nigga had just been holdin the door outta the goodness of his heart.

Now that's OD chivalry.

That shit made me think though: where has chivalry gone?
Even those of us who think we are upstanding citizens are not as chivalrist as we should be.
I mean, I hold the door for the next comin person, but I'll close that elevator door swiftly. Haha
Cab drivers used to open the door for you.
Now them mofos just charge you double what it should be.
Niceness is dead in America, at least in the cities.
We've become so cold and defensive.
We are afraid to be taken advantage of in this age of deceit and scandels.
Can we ever return to our former glory, of helping our fellow man?
Community Service seems to be a start, and this generation seems to be embracing it.
I mean, me, myself... I ain't the one.
You gotta wake up too early.
You see my point.
We're selfish too.
I just had my own revelation.
Will I change? Probably not.
But I'mma try and force myself.
It's the least I can do, attempt to progress.
Never know, it could be contagious.
Word.

Remember Last Night?

No, man.
I blacked out soon as I got there.
Fill me in.

Ah,
well I ain't got the whole story.
I did the same myself.
But what I do know is this.

Debbie said,
"Oh my God, you don't remember?
James was up on the table doin the Soulja Boy with some other guy.
It was hilarious."

I did the Soulja Boy.
Ugh, I vowed never to do that ignit shit again.

I know.
Them drinks makes us all do things we regret.
But that's not the worse.

Jules said,
"Yo, you don't remember?
Tyler was hittin on James hardbody.
Then I saw them walk off into the back."

I didn't.

I'm not sure.
But

Amanda said,
"You don't remember?
You and James were tryna convince me to have a threesome with you guys.
I almost agreed until Gina pulled me away."

Damn.
Wait, the two of us and her?
Like I said,
them drinks makes us all do things we regret.
Then

Ian said,
"Aw shit, you don't remember?
You gave everyone the Goat.
I was too proud to be mad."

You mean you Goated them?
Like the movie "Waiting" Goated them?

Balls and member through the legs and all.
I wish I remembered it myself.
The last thing I found out though was when

Mike said,
"You seriously don't remember?
You poured jungle juice all on Tyler
and told him James would take care of it."

Dude...

Sorry?

My ass is sore, dude.

Sorry?

You need to start running now.

Beer run?

Argh!!!!!

[Flees]

Oreo

This is what we call a black person who acts white.
If you're Asian then your a Twinkie.
I'm not sure what the Hispanic equivalent is though...
They are difficult group to bunch.
But I suppose, if they act black they're an opposite Reese's.
If they act white they're a Devil Dog.
These codename minorities often get dunked in milk,
you know... date white people.

But what exactly is acting white?
Acting proper?
Saying the whole word?
Putting kids on time out instead of beatin they ass?
Eating hummus?
Not being able to dance?
Looking over yout should before you say the N-word?
Yes, yes I believe that proper describes acting white.

But why exactly is it looked down upon by other minorities?
Because they're acting uppity?
Because they don't hang out with other minorities?
Because it's seen as not being true to themself?
Because they are representing the race properly?

But you see,
oreos and twinkies and devil dogs can't help it.
It's simply how they were brought up.
It's the culture they were subjected to.
Their parents wanted their kids to grow up there,
perhaps because they knew that their chances would be better that way.

It's very obvious when blacks are Oreos
because the black culture is very distinct.
But Asians ans Hispanics,their culture tends to vary.
It's more of a tradition thing with them.
Not as noticable as loud black in movie theatres.
So they aren't subjected to the glares and talkin behind the back
like Oreos recieve.
I'm noticing Oreos are becoming greater and number too.
Especially at a school like Loyola.
I feel as if it's necessary to have some bit of Oreo in you
in order to tolerate and/or be around white people constantly.
They can do and or say some stupid shit.
But on some level, they're alright.
They're the ones to model yourself after.
The standard to which every in America is compared against.
The Man comes from their race.
So,
why is it so bad to be an Oreo?

Oh, by the way,
whites who act black are Uh-Oh Oreos.
It only makes sense.
Word.

Yo, Can I Ask You Something?

Why do we always use that to preface a difficult question to ask?
Are we truly such socially awkward creatures?
Do we truly care that much about what people think of us?
I mean, it's not like we ask it to be polite and to gauge how offended they might be.
We do it because we don't want to seem that bold.
How dare we inquire about something that's been on our mind for months?
So, we use the phrase as a buffer,
to make us seem less of an ass and more timid in nature.

Now, for us on the recieving end,
we know what's up.
So we quickly jump to the worse thing they can ask us:
How do you know if your parents are gettin a divorce?
How do you know if your sister is dying?
What would you say if I said I liked you?
Do you know if I fucked an ugly broad from the bar last night?
Do you think it's bad I killed someone last night?
Then they actually ask the question:
Do you think Chappelle'll ever come back to his show?
After you recover from your brief panic attack,
you respond to the question as calmly as possible,
just like you prepared yourself if it was one of those questions.

Now, the point.
Let's stop beating around the bush.
It doesn't help anyone.
It only makes you miserable,
and leaves the other party in a state of ignorance.
Yes, ignorance is bliss.
But sometimes reality can be just as nice.
If you present it right.
So don't just ask your question randomly.
Don't be watching basketball one night
and ask your roommate if he watches you dress when you come back from the shower.
Accidentally be channel surfin and land on a sex scene or a kiss when you bring it up.
It's all about timing.
Then you can open Pandora's Box
and have that heart to heart
without any awkwardness.
Trust.

Newbs

Being new to anything can be difficult.
There's a sort of universal conduct to being new to something.

You often feel alone,
not really knowing anyone.
If you do,
chances are you still feel alone
cause they interact with the other co-workers, teammates, gamers, etc
more often.
Depending on your personality,
and the little Jimminy Cricket in your head,
you'll hesitate to join in,
unsure of how to connect with these individuals.
You will probably have to do something
that you are unsure of how to accomplish eventually.
Again, depending on who you are
you may not ask at the risk of looking dumb.
But you fool,
by doing that you look dumb
as you fail or don't even attempt
and someone comes behind you
to fix your wrongs.
This can lead to talking behind your back,
about how you do nothing and are a ditz.
This will go around
and no one will want to work with you.
So, your inexperienced ass gets no experience.
And you remain ignorant to your mistakes.
Eventually you get kicked out or fired or social exiled.
You know which ever fits.

Or,
you can take action.
Start asking for help.
Any wise man can tell you only a fool doesn't ask for help.
Interact with these strangers.
Follow them around, within reason.
Piss them off.
Eventually they'll get to know you,
and hopefully your personality is the likable kind.
Gain experince.
Fail,but learn from it.
Be observant.
Be not a newb for a year,
but blossom from a shrub to an evergreen,
or some other cheesy growth metaphor.
You get the gist, listeners.
Go forth and prosper.
Word.

One Man's Trash...

So, with the end of the college year
donation bins have popped up all around the campus.
Many kids have been dropping of things here and there,
the bigger dorms having the better turn out.
But man...you should see some of the things they donate.
First off, I noticed hella clam chowder.
I suppose college kids don't like canned seafood
that isn't Chicken of the Sea.
There were quite a few mops and cleaning supplies too.
Saw a few microwaves and other applicances.
Ratty clothes, of course.
The usual canned goods.
Open bags of cereal and other snacks?
I know they needy, but really though?
Giving away open food?
But that wasn't even the kicker.
The biggest disappointment were seeing tampons and maxipads.
Now... I'm a guy....I first thought... "Ey, maybe that shit expire."
But, no. A female friend of mines informed me differently.
So... what college girl in her right mindthrows away something she needs monthly?
B****, do you not get your period?
Was the shit not your brand?
Wait a minute.....
You don't get your period when you're pregnant, do you....?
Ooooooooooo.........

But honestly,
all that shit I saw,
made me wanna just roll up in there and swipe
a good bunch of stuff.
And honestly, why shouldn't I?
It's for the needy, right?
Well, I'm black.
I'm a college student.
I'mma be away from home this summer.
Shiiitt..
I'mma need some ramen noodles,
some cleaning supplies.
I'll take that microwave.
Ooo, a TV, why thank you.
You can keep them nasty ass tampons though.
Mmm... Indeed,
one white kid's trash
is one struggling black kid's temporary treasure.
Word.

Insomnia

Good ol' late night.
The usual stayin up til 4 AM has returned.
Not necessarily to do work. I just enjoy being up late.
I am one who believes more interesting things happen during the dark time.
And such happens to be true.

My manz was right: the freaks do come out at night.
Never in light will you see as many people so bold.
A drunk stumblin, pissin not in a bush, but in the street.
He wants to make the yellow line yellow-er.
Good think the only traffic is a drunk driver.
This drunk pisser is soon passed by a group of hooded gentlemen walkin into the woods.
One member of this party drops a little small baggy-waggy which the pisser goes a pissy-wissy on.
The crew pushes the man down on the street and forces him to lick the bag clean.
Upon completion, they pick him up, pants still hangin around his ankles, and drag them to their special bonfire episode in the semi-depths of the wood.
Just a block over, a couple is making out on a swing set.
The girl takes off her shirt, bitter cold as it was.
So you can only imagine how her "baby suckers" stood too.
Her fine companion then proceeded to motor boat her, yes he did.
They got up as if to go to a private location, to do a deed worth doing I'm sure, when they walked by an old homeless man under a lawn chair chillin in the sandbox.
The lawn chair happened to be moving up and down in a certain spot.
The guy was ready to fight, but the girl went over and let the bum do as her mate did.
Seeing this as an opportunity to open up the world of multiple sex partners, he went along with the girl's idea and pulled his car around.
They all got in, where I was to never see them again... because the windows fogged up.
While the threesome were busy with busyness and such, our drunk pisser and his new chums returned from what most have seemed to them to be an enchanted forest.
Two of them had the gaul to waltz across the street.
Together, no doubt.
Cute, but in a slobby way.
The group of herb enthusiasts returned into their dormatory leaving our humble pissant to fiend for himself.
He stumbled a bit more before trippin over a branch, faceplant style.
He then proceeded to fight with the dust, Uma Thurman Kill Bill coffin style.
All extended hand, sudden fist.
Quite the sight.

Now you tell me you can see that during the light and still have a conversation with friends across the country about politics or gossip or sex or anything that could be more intimate.
And not give a fuck about spellin or nothin of the sort.
It's just free form, as is, no apologies.
Tis why I fuckz with the night.
Early worm gets the worm, but the night owl get to savor the small rodent.
[Trust me, some fuckin NYC rat is better than Earthworm Jim anyday.]
Word.