Farewell, Fun Summers

Well, it certainly has been an interesting one.

I've tried to live it up to the best of my ability,

and I hope those of you preparing

to enter your senior of college have done the same.

Because if it is,

this may be your last summer to really wild out.

Though the economy is still a little rocky,

we're all expected to have some sort of job once we graduate.

For most, I envision this being a 9 to 5.

This isn't to say you can't still enjoy your summer

once you join the work force full time.

It just becomes harder.

More hours,

more responsibilities,

less days off.

Those factors don't equal more time at the beach.

For others though,

we may return to our same summer job,

and we'll be able to take part in the usual activities.

But in the back of our minds

we'll still have the stress of what's going to happen come September.

Will I be able to hold on to this job past August?

Can I find a more stable, long-term position elsewhere?

Where will I live and can I find roommates?

Will I have to go back to living with my parents?

And if so, for how long?

These are all questions we should be asking ourselves now.

I'm sure those that have come before us

will advise us to do the same.

And to those who are not here yet,

you too should keep these questions in mind.

For the sooner you can answer them,

the better off you'll be when you actually have to face them.

In regard to this coming year,

yes prepare for what's ahead.

But please remember to enjoy yourself.

Now comes the last year of "the best years of your life,"

unless you plan on making all of your 20s exciting too like I do.

This may be the last time you see some of your classmates.

Sure, you may be saying "Thank God" about some of them,

but some you will truly miss, even being Facebook.

Yeah, weird. I know.

Enjoy this time you have together.

Tell people what you really think of them.

Share your knowledge with the underclassmen.

Be role models to the freshmen that will no doubt look up to you.

Give as much to your college and local area as you can.

Make this truly a year to remember.

Class of 2011,

this one's on us.

Word.

Lil Black Book

Naw, I'm not enough of a mac

to be old school and

actually have a book filled with numbers.

My lil black book started from a writing class.

I was supposed to keep it around with me

and write ideas that popped into my head.

Otherwise, the good ideas might be forever lost.

I actually kept up with it at first,

carrying it in my backpack when it was hot

and in my coat pocket once it cooled down.

I would whip it out in class

when I would daydream and want to remember it

or if the teacher said something that caught me as odd.

For instance, one science teacher said,

"Well I have news for you;

we're all homo... homo sapiens!"

I almost bursted out in laughter,

maybe because he had a thick spanish accent.

A few of the lines I wrote down in the book

have inspired me to write blog posts as well.

"Never walk behind white girls crossing the street.

They will get you hit," sparked "Crossing the Street."

There are also a few funny lines

I may insert in to later works.

"About 5am last night

I heard my roommate moaning and sucking

to what must have been a wet dream.

I envied him that night."

But somewhere around the end of that semester,

winter break, and the following semester,

my lil black book became a way to keep track

of group projects and booklists.

Soon enough I stopped carrying it all together.

The last thing I wrote in it

were instructions for my Theology Final paper.

The last creative phrase I wrote was

"Sucka for love like a heart-shaped lollipop."

So now

the lil black book sits on my desk.

I plan on lugging it around once again

with hopes of filling it up

with brilliant thoughts and ideas.

Once I do that

I'll invest in a small lil black book,

one I can pocket in my jeans.

I carry around a pen at all times as it is now.

I mean, I figure it part of the writer description.

The book is just the canvas.

Word.

Leave Me Alone, Youtube

Yes, I have a Youtube addiction.

I like to think most of us do,

but I fear mines may be a more severe case.

I've shared 3 videos with 3 separate friends just today,

and I know I may share more.

See, when you share your addiction

you don't seem as caught up

because then you have others to join you.

It's like misery: it loves company.

I don't even remember how it happened.

All through college,

I used youtube mostly to watch music videos

and to catch up on the latest viral videos

such as: Charlie Bite Me, Sneezing Panda, Leave Britney Alone.

But something changed with 2010,

maybe even during the last few months of 2009.

It stemmed from the lack of quality TV shows on air at the time.

The only good ones came around at night when I was busy,

so I would just catch them online.

If I couldn't find it legitimately,

I flocked to youtube and watched the pirated version.

I remember people would share different links

of funny videos on facebook with each other.

Since I'm a facebook stalker in my downtime,

I would watch this videos.

Then I would follow the link back to youtube

and watch the uploader's other content.

If I liked it, I would subscribe.

Alphacat and Affion Crockett captured me

with their music parodies

and kept me on with their skits and such.

This is how it started.

A good asian friend of mines

introduced me to a few channels last summer, too.

One was Derrick Comedy, Spelling Bee being one of my favorite videos.

There's also StarKidPotter which is basically an acting troupe

that writes, directs, composes, and acts in its own productions,

A Very Potter Musical and Me & My Dick being prominent musicals.

Lastly, my friend introduced me to channels that redubbed animes.

CardGamesFTW redubbed Yugioh

and TeamFourStar tackled Dragon Ball Z.

I don't remember the transition,

but I began to watch vloggers soon after.

Vloggers are basically bloggers like me [and some of you]

except you can see their face and hear their emotions.

I think I remember the first vlogger I started to follow.

His youtube name is bee318ti.

I saw his video when he ranted about Keri Hilson.

I was literally on the floor dying from laughter.

Later I realized he was a gay black man.

I think that's when I subscribed.

The same person that introduced me to him

introduced me to Xem Van Adams,

another gay black vlogger but a bit more insightful.

Between the two, I thought I was set.

But no, my Youtube addiction was growing,

and at the time so was my security about my sexuality.

That's basically I how crossed over

and started watching gay white vloggers

such as Davey Wavey, GDProphetXVII, and Centerfold.

It helped that they weren't hard on the eyes either.

Eventually, they would mention or collab with other vloggers

and I would become curious and follow the links.

Eventually I found this collab channel call 5 awesome gays.

Yeah... that's when my addiction reached a new level.

A different gay blogged each weekday, and I loved it.

This channel also mentioned other channels

which lead to me subscribing to other collab channels

which lead me to subscribe to each individual vlogger's channel.

Checking my youtube account has become like

checking facebook and twitter for me.

It doesn't help that I've finally stumbled

across the partnered channels

which are basically the channels that get so many views

that Youtube features them more often.

AlphaCat is in this category

as well as Charlieissocoollike and Phillip Defranco.

Now, I have no where named all the channels I'm subscribed to.

There are about 109 at the moment.

But you want to know what the biggest sign is that I'm addicted to Youtube?

[This is for those of you who actually read this far.]

I started vlogging myself.

That's right. I'm a youtuber and I didn't tell you.

Shit, I feel like I'm comin out to my parents or something. haha

Yeah. The videos are kinda lackin in quality at the moment,

so that's part of the reason why I didn't tell you guys.

If you want you can find them and see what you think of em.

If you're smart than you already know what my youtube name is.

I plan to keep making more,

once I figure out exactly how I want to present myself

and learn how to work my camera.

I was just using my webcam before.

But yeah... that's my addiction to Youtube.

So um... rate, comment, favorite, subscribe.

Word.

Swim, Black, Swim!

During my short stay back in Jersey,

I ate dinner with my mom and caught the news.

One story in particular mentioned

black families hanging out by the lake for a cookout.

Well, a few of the kids decided to go in the water.

Soon they started to drown.

None of them knew how to swim.

None of the parents went in after them.

Alas, they too could not swim.

They had to watch as their children's lungs filled with water.

This is a serious issue in the African American community.

I know many a black folk who can not swim.

I'm one of them.

There are a couple of reasons for this.

1) Fear of the unknown in the water

2) Not privileged enough to receive swimming lessons

3) Preconceived notion that swimming is a white activity

4) Fear of messing up our hair [I'm just playin... but I'm sayin.]

Of course I'm not saying black people can't swim.

I know quite a few who can.

Shoot, the one black guy, Cullen Jones, who competed and won

in the 4x100m freestyle swimming relay

graduated from my high school.

[a lil St Benedict's pride for you there]

But he was only the second black person to do this.

Black people,

we have to overcome our fear of large bodies of water

if we want to avoid another loss like the one I described.

Find someone in your community to give you lessons,

even if you have to start off in a bathtub.

It wouldn't hurt for you to make some white friends, too.

Invite them to your next trip to the lake

and make sure they don't drink too much

so they can serve at the lifeguard.

...you think I'm playing. haha

Don't worry,

I'mma find me someone to teach me how to swim

before I graduate in the big ass pool at the school's gym.

I mean, swimming is more important than dougie-ing.

And hey,

maybe once we learn how to swim

we can tackle frozen water and start playing hockey, too.

...you're right. Baby steps, baby steps.

Word.

Hag to the Fags

If you're a gay man,

you should have at least one.

I'm just saying,

they're pretty useful.

Think about it.

Sure you have gay friends,

but there may be some kinda tension,

perhaps even sexual tension.

With a girl as a confidant,

you ain't gotta worry about

things turning into sex.

This is the one time

when a woman and a man can be friends. haha

Oddly enough though,

unbeknownst fag hags

are usually the ones with the gay boyfriend.

Sometimes they're too blind to see it.

Other times they just found a guy too good to them

to let a little thing like sexual orientation

get in the way of their happiness.

Eventually,

they come to their senses

and if there are no hard feelings

a gay man and fag hag couple are created.

I said before how FGs can serve as alternate friends

to a gay guy with gay friends.

Well, I find it more frequent

that gay guys without close gay friends

are the most likely to attract and latch on to fag hags.

It's just a theory, but it would make sense.

The gay guy needs someone willing to go to the gay bar with him. haha

Some fag hags don't like to be called as such.

I mean, what woman would want to be called a hag, right?

Sometimes they leave gay people alone altogether,

but often they get over it

and use their gay friend to talk about guys

that their other friends may be tired hearing about.

Now,

I've always wandered if there was

a male equivalent to a fag hag.

I mean, lesbians need solace too, right?

Would a guy be as receptive to a lesbian

as a girl would be to a gay guy?

And what rhyming name can we come up with for him?

Damn, now I'm on a search to find this pair.

Alert me if you find one.

Word.

AC Issues

Is it bad that I can only stand to be in my room

half-naked with a towel tied around my head

and a strong drink in hand?

So I've been in my new fall apartment

for about a week now.

[We're just gonna ignore that

the start of school is still a whole month away.]

As many of you know

August is notoriously the hottest month all year.

2010 ain't no exception.

In my summer housing on campus,

the central air would cut on and off as it pleased

but at least it kept the 2 floor dorm cool.

[That's right I said 2 floors.

We do it way big round here at Loyola. haha]

In my fall room, however,

there are 4 window AC units:

1 in each bedroom, the living room, and dining room.

One alone is noisy as a Thursday night at a college bar.

All four is damn near Halloween at Baltimore's Fells Road.

But here's the kick,

it'll still be blazing in the room.

If I turn them off,

I only sweat a lil faster.

The circulation is terrible.

I'd probably be better off opening a window.

But I'm on the first floor

and I'd still be walking around half naked. haha

Too often am I faced with the choice

of sweating a puddle with no AC

or turning them on for slight relief and noise complaints from neighbors. haha

So if you were me,

what would you do?

I've already told you my alternative,

but I'd like a bit of variation. haha

Word.

Embarrassing Moments: Squats

I've always been one to laugh at myself.

As I've stated before,

if you don't take the opportunity to laugh at yourself

everyone else will.

So, now provide me the chance to humiliate myself.

It is a humbling experience after all.

It was a long day at work today.

Tasks were added throughout the day

slightly breaking team moral.

Between the end of my lunch break and when we finished,

I was assigned to straighten a wheel on a cart.

I found the rubber mallet necessary to complete the task.

So I squatted down,

kinda in that legs open manner

where someone could kick me square in the balls if desired.

All was fine at first,

I tapped relentlessly on the crooked wheel.

I decided I needed to get a little lower for a better swing.

Then came a ripping sound.

I froze, hoping it wasn't what I thought it was.

I was aware that my khakis had a small hole in the "tant " region.

[urban dictionary the term if you must]

But it sustained the same size for a whole semester.

So I tend to forget about it since it was never visible.

But I have gained a bit of weight of the summer,

so I suppose it finally caught up to my clothes.

See, this is why I strictly wear jeans. haha

I tried to ignore the sound

and continued working.

Unfortunately, I heard it again.

I could feel a breeze on my right thigh now.

I hurried fixing the wheel

and stood up to inspect myself discreetly.

The tear stopped just short of my balls

and nearly reached the bottom of my natural tear.

Needless to say,

I walked with my legs closed real tight like.

There were other times during the day when I had to bend down.

To ward off attention,

I turned my rear end in a direction where no one was working.

My drawers were dark gray,

so if anything the gap looked like a shadow.

Luckily everyone was too busy with their assignments to notice.

This may have been on account of the presence of our boss at the time.

I did however tell my one friend cause we're always joking around.

She said it didn't even look that bad.

Only people staring at it would notice.

That's when I thought popped in my head.

What if people did see it and didn't say anything?

Might people have been checking me out and thought,

"If I tell him, he'll know I was staring at his fat ass"?

Yeah, I know. I think too highly of myself.

Go suck it. haha

Anyway,

I made it through the afternoon

without being called out for ripped pants.

I'm just lucky we only worked in our warehouse today.

Cause showing unexpecting students and visitors

my crescent mooning would not have been sexy.

...or would it?

Word.

Boredom is Dangerous

In a philosophy class I took last semester,

I read that boredom was evil.

In my opinion,

boredom will make you turn

to anything as a source of entertainment.

This can mean doing things you normally wouldn't.

Boredom is a common occurrence in our society

as we become more accustomed to instant gratification.

In essence, there is no reason for us to ever be boredom.

We can always be productive in whatever we do.

We could even read a book or play a sport.

But we aren't in the mood to do that.

So we say we're bored until something different comes along.

Often, this means our standards are lowered.

Sure, that means we'll try new things.

But some of these new things may be things

we promised we'd never do.

Such as:

bungee jump

piss in the monkey cage at the zoo

get a legit mohawk

hook up with someone we don't particularly want.

My usual cure for boredom is to gorge myself on food.

This isn't particularly the best solution...

but it keeps me out of trouble. haha

Truly, the best cure for boredom may be a hobby.

Paint, build, travel, read, garden.

Find something that can take up your time

when you're all alone and have nothing better to do.

Perhaps then boredom will never revisit you.

Word.