Why Are All the Good Ones Girls?

It's no secret that many-a
girl best friend and fag hag alike
have fallen in like, lust, or love
with a gay man in their life.
Why wouldn't they? We're awesome.

But I'm here to reveal to you all
that this hopeless attraction is a two-way street.

Now, I suppose I can only speak for myself since
attempting to put on for my entire orientation would be foolish,
but there have been many girls to turn my head.
I suppose it's why I tried to convince myself I was bi for a while.

You see, I kissed my first girl on the cheek when I was 4.
Granted, she slapped me,
but that didn't stop me from picking a girl out to be mines
in every grade until high school when I went to an all boys' preparatory.
Even then I had a big titty fling [as my friends called it]
and my first actually girlfriend [whom I broke up with]
before exploring my sexuality.

Then there was my freshman year of college.
For the first month I engaged in a flirtatious relationship with a female
before coming out as bisexual.
Funny, I actually expected her to stick around.
She didn't. At least not in a romantic way.

Later that school year I dry humped a girl.
Yeah, that's right. I typed it.
Looking back on it,
I'm pretty sure I was imagining a guy the entire time.

Sam is the best, but not the one I made out with.

But my semi-bizarre dating past behind me,

I still find myself attracted to certain female friends based purely on personality.
I'm sure these girls know who they are.
They're funny, off-beat, charming,
have peculiar laughs, and are open and honest with me.
They're the type of girl that a queer
would make out with when he's drunk.
[That may have happened with one of them. Maybe]

With all this attraction to girls
and my lack of luck with guys
the past 3 and 1/2 years
you'd think I'd try being bi again,
but it just isn't me.
Sure, I like to play in a girl's hair,
fondle her boobies,
and dance with them in the club.
But I still enjoy talking to them about guys.
I just prefer a guy's touch.

There's a term someone used to
describe attraction rooted by personality in the absence of physical attraction
that I'm sure would really drive my point home,
but alas the Google search engine has not helped me rediscover it.

To all you hetero fools that I can't have,
learn to appreciate your women.
One of these days you just might catch
her making out with her gay best friend
who's just been acting a role all this time.
You're just lucky it isn't me.
Word.

2/5/11
Panromantic. That was the word I was looking for.