May We Blog?

My dear friends (and associates), I have done you a disservice. I wasn't here for you in your time of need. There was no one to rejoice with you when learning Harriet Tubman would be the new face of the twenty dollar bill nor was there anyone to channel your rage when it was revealed that the former slave owner would be on the opposite side of the bill AND that we'd have til wait until 2030 for said bill. There was no one to give you live coverage of the Maryland state and Baltimore city primaries. No one to sing a stripped down, acoustic version of Little Red Corvette when Prince died. No one to fill you teacup with lemonade when Jay-Z gave Beyonce lemons. 

I could tell you I'll be covering all those things today, but that would be a lie. I could tell you why I missed a whole month of blogging, but I already did all the recapping I cared for two weeks ago. So why have I gathered you here today, on a Sunday no less. 

Well, I love making things up to people, and I love challenging myself. For the four weeks in May, you can expect a post nearly every weekday. And you can count on this promise because I'll be writing my monologues in advance. That's right, no more day-of writing for me. I'll be too busy for that. And the best part is that they'll be themed!

Music Mondays

This isn't your typical new music blog. No, anyone can do that. Every Monday will feature older albums that I deem worthy of bringing back to your attention so you can bop through your entire work week. 

Talk'o Tuesdays
This segment will allow me to talk about hot pressing issues and current events. My take on "Wake Up, America" journalism. These are the posts I usually write and that you love reading. 

Writing Wednesdays
Who doesn't love when I have a creative outlet? Humpday will be my time to mess around with poetry, short fiction, or maybe even preview something longer I'm working on. I suspect a series could even erupt if I keep this up long enough. 

Hot Take Thursdays
Conspiracy theories need to shine, and mine are no exception. My humor will shine through as I try to make sense of how the world works. Who knows, maybe my spicy takes could be right a few times. 

(In)Frequent Fridays

An anything goes, this is what I have left over segment. Sometimes I'll write on Fridays. Sometimes I won't. Literally anything could happen. 

I hope you're as excited about the new lineup as I am. Who knows, maybe I'll be a great writer and keep this up through June if they become popular enough. We'll see if my madness pays off. 

Word. 

What's the 411?

Welcome back to our regularly scheduled programming. Sorry for the lack of posts last week. My imaginary sponsors alerted me to last month's ratings and heavily suggested I find a way to improve them. So obviously I'm just going to talk about myself while attempting not to reveal too much. You know like normal people and vloggers filming update videos do.

Depressing bit out of the way first, I've been thinking about my family a lot recently. Well, my dead relatives mostly. My mother suggested I write them letters since I still haven't properly grieved them because emotions are hard and scary and constantly feeling like you can't breathe is oddly exhilarating. I've written letters to my grandparents briefly telling them how they affected me and how I miss them, but mostly venting about my problems hoping they'll visit me in a dream and guide me. I still haven't written to my father, so my chakras have been completely out of wack for a week. I thought rewatching the Last Airbender would help, but it's more of a nice distraction than anything else. I hope to bring myself to the task by tomorrow.

Speaking of writing, I finished the outlines for the second and third episode of my biographical TV show two months ago during an unexpected "maniac" week. Hopefully I'll stop waiting for another episode and just produce content again. I'm long overdue on writing something for my friends to star in, too. It's time I become the content creator I've always dreamed of becoming.

Speaking of webseries written by and about gay people, my favorite one is back. It's called The Outs. It only took them three years to come back. Honestly, the first season is probably the best webseries of all time, and that's not just my opinion. I'm not gonna give you a synopsis; instead here's a link to watch the first season for free. LINK! Unfortunately, Vimeo saw their worth and picked up their second season as a show you have to pay for, but it's worth it. If you don't wanna do that, you can just listen to their totally awesome soundtrack on soundcloud. 

In other news, two potential big changes coming up before the year's midway mark that I obviously can't talk about until they're actually confirmed. But once they are, I feel like I'll be happier and more fulfilled. Perhaps I shouldn't allow them to be the sole source of hope, but whatever, I'll wing it. 

Lastly, thanks to the help of my actual "sponsors" I've been able to cook new things again. Much like writing, cooking for more than two hours and producing something incredible is unbelievably satisfying. If you're my friend on any social media, you saw I made my first pizzas from scratch, and I am absurdly proud of myself. At this rate, my cooking challenge could be the first thing I complete on my 102 Tasks list. 

I suppose that's enough updates for one post. Thanks for reading my rant. Check back in Thursday when I'll be teaching you the importance of always having a drifter bundle on deck and how to survive in the concrete jungle with a rotten tomato.* 

Word. 

*Thursday's post has yet to be determined. Probably something gender related, though. 

Covered in Songs, Part 2: Collection

Forewarning, I won't be covering the most popular covers ever. Well, possibly a few of them. We all know the golden standards: Whitney's And I Will Always Love You and Hendrix' All Along the Watchtower. I've even reported on a couple renditions towards the end of last year, including Ellie Goulding's Take Me to Church by Hozier and Erykah's Hotline Bling by Drake.

This post around, I'll be "covering" a few of my favorite remakes of the 90s, 00s, and now along with suggestions from the Facebook community. To listen to any song I mention, just click on the artist's name - original or cover artist - because a post full of videos is a mess, and I'm considerate towards your browsers.

Scott Bradlee with members of the Postmodern Jukebox collective

Youtube Channel covers
More times than not, YouTube covers are looked down upon as unworthy of our time. That's because they're plentiful and often filmed in coffee shops or bedrooms. These two YouTube collectives, however, deserve our attention for their originality and creativity. 

Pentatonix

If you haven't heard about Pentatonix, you probably have and didn't realize it. Before they released their first album of originals, the five part a capella group turned their failed contract from the Sing Off into a lucrative YouTube channel, covering songs from Fleet Foxes to an anthology of Michael Jackson songs. 

If Christmas is your jam, they've released two and a half albums of that variety. (I highly suggest Mary, Did You Know?) Between the four part harmonies, vocal arrangements featuring a prominent beat boxer, and colorful videos, Pentatonix is definitely a group to check out.

Postmodern Jukebox

Led by pianist and arranger Scott Bradlee, the Postmodern Jukebox are a collection of (mostly jazz) singers and musicians that take the hits of the last 40 years and transpose them through the musical styles of the 1920s through 60s.

Notable tracks include Miley Cyrus's We Can't Stop as Doo Wop, Ariana Grande's Focus in the style of Ray Charles, and Guns and Roses' Sweet Child of Mine as a New Orleans swing. There's also a Sad Clown that sings Sia's Chandelier.

Beatles covers

The Beatles are by far the most covered artists of all time. Here's my obligatory salute to their accomplishment. 

Fiona Apple - Across the Universe

Fiona Apple sings like a melancholy songbird soaring above the wreckage of the world as she tries to heal the land with her melody. Not a far stretch from the song's appearance on the Pleasantville soundtrack. Some have called it better than the original track. I don't disagree. 

Boyz II Men - Yesterday

The Philly R&B group did the unexpected by covering this Beatles' song, as an a capella arrangement, no less. The groups bass singer perfectly captures the essence of the strings section of the original recording. Sprinkle three majestic black voices on top of that, and Yesterday feels like today.

[Foreseeing the length of this post, this concludes my Beatles' coverage. If you yearn for more, there's a Wikipedia page dedicated to all the official covers.]

Ingrid Michaelson

Acoustic covers
Ingrid Michaelson - Creep by Radiohead
Radiohead's Creep is a song of loneliness and self loathing. Choosing to sing over ukelele strumming, Ingrid Michaelson offers an offputting bubbly take on the song. Creep becomes a song about recognizing where you don't belong and moving on with your life under Michaelson. 

Katy Perry - Black and Gold by Sam Sparro and Electric Feel by MGMT

Katy Perry is often critiqued for featuring weak or pitchy vocal performances on her own songs. I offer up a hypothesis that her songs are simply overproduced, as Katy sounds wonderful over an acoustic guitar. While both songs consist of heavy production to get its bop across, Katy is able to make acoustic covers danceable through the power of her voice alone. 

Grizzly Bear - Too Little Too Late by Jojo
It's hard to imagine an indie, chillwave band covering a moderately catchy pop song from a teenaged girl with a great voice, but that's what makes Grizzly Bear's rendition so good. Opening with minor keys of the piano and an chant that turns the bridge of the original into a warning, Daniel Rossen proceeds to entrance us his smooth voice. 

Obadiah Parker - Hey Ya by Outkast

Though not my favorite cover, Obadiah Parker's Hey Ya is popular with the Facebook community, and I can understand why. Hey Ya became so popular that it became annoying to listen to. This stripped down portrayal of Andre 3000's solo debut offered a break from the catchy beat. Consider it an island vacation spent on a hammock instead of the resort's dancehall. 

Ella Erye

Indie covers
Chet Faker - No Diggity by Blackstreet

Chet Faker is a white man covering an R&B song while managing to keep its soul in tact. Probably for the best, Chet Faker chose to use the top 40s, rap free version of the song. His lazy, nonchalant singing style adds to the laid back feel of the song. Spitting game is his forte, after all. Though the organ sounds like it belongs in a Nissan commercial, it oddly fits the vibe. 

Durand Bernarr - Bitch Don't Kill My Vibe by Kendrick Lamar

Probably one of my favorite covers of the past five years, Durand Bernarr offers up a soulful rendition of one of Kendrick's most popular songs. Wording the chorus into a more polite approach and adding Monica's Just One of Those Days as the bridge, Durand transforms the ingredients of this song perfectly. 

Scavenger Hunt - Latch by Disclosure ft Sam Smith

During a Capital Cities concert, Scavenger Hunt opened for the band. Along with their original songs, they included a sultry version of Latch. Stripped down but still electronic in nature, it's a surprise the singer's alto didn't cause couples in the audience to commence baby making immediately. It's the perfect balance between Disclosure's and the acoustic version of the track. Definitely add this to your sex playlist. 

DrDr - Cry Me a River by Justin Timberlake

Cry Me a River is a song of a lover scorned seeking revenge. DrDr's version takes it a step further and add a nightwatcher element. The updated take on Timberland's production literally sounds like a stalker tiptoeing behind their prey. There's truly something to be said when a woman covers a song originally sung by a man. 

Ella Eyre - We Don't Have To Take Our Clothes Off by Jermaine Stewart

Originally produced in the 80s, Jermaine Stewart gave the world a standardly campy song with a serious message during the height of the AIDS epidemic. However, due to the heavy synth, it's easy for the song to be taken as a dance song about exploring other options, leading to Gym Class Hereos' homage to the song. 

Luckily, Ella Erye recognized the relevance of the track as we fight for rape rates to drop. She recorded a more serious and soulful version of the song that truly drives the point home. Take a moment and cry to this. 

Band of Horses

Respect covers
Cee Lo Green - No One's Gonna Love You by Band of Horses and
Band of Horses feat. the UGA Redcoat Maching Band- Georgia by Cee Lo Green

Found on Cee Lo's LadyKiller, No One's Gonna Love You is probably one of my favorite tracks from him. I was honestly surprised to discover the song was originally by Band of Horses. Cee Lo's version offers up the soul and strife the track lacked. 
After realizing this, Band of Horses decided to return the favor by covering Georgia, a single that never landed on a Cee Lo album. Oddly enough, they add the folky nature Georgia needed. It goes to show that more artists should occasionally write for others in the industry. 

Chance the Rapper

Main Stream covers
Chance the Rapper - Everyday is Wonderful from Arthur
The 90s were probably the best decade for theme songs, particularly from cartoons. PBS's reggae-theme for Arthur, sung by Ziggy Marley, is what originally inspired me to watch the show. Chance the Rapper must have felt the same reaction, as he and his collective The Social Experiment releases their own version of the song. It's an inspiration bop that can get you through your darkest days. Because everyday, it could be wonderful. 

James Blake - Limit to Your Love by Feist
Another song I had no idea was a cover, Limit to Your Love takes Feist's tender and confrontational song and transforms it into a haunting record full of despair. Choosing to use fewer lyrics and create loops and rounds of his voice, the song becomes a chant as you fall through the emptiness of your soul. It's a wonderful feeling. 

Flaming Lips - Seven Nation Army by the White Stripes

By some sorcery, the Flaming Lips created a more intense version of Seven Nation Army. Screamed mostly through a megaphone, it sounds as if Wayne Coyne is leading an army through the desert of Mad Max: Fury Road. It's actually surprising they didn't use it for the soundtrack. The woos during the instrumental chorus pulls the track together.

Whitney Houston - I'm Every Woman by Chaka Chan

Attempting to stray from the disco roots of the song, Whitney opens her version with a sensual intro backed by every woman she embodies. The track then breaks into an updated disco track suitable for the 90s. Some would argue her vocals out do Chaka's much like she did to Dolly. However, Whitney knows how to respect her fellow divas and shouts Chaka's name during the outro.

Janelle Monae - Smile by Charlie Chaplin/Nat King Cole

Originally composed by Charlie Chaplin without lyrics, Nat King Cole gave voice to Smile. Years later, Janelle Monáe covered the song on her first EP. The heart and soul Janelle adds to her rendition would make you think she wrote it herself. The power and pain behind her voice as she sings over a bass guitar (and eventually keyboard) resonants within you. 

Seether - Careless Whisper by George Michael 

If you don't want to click on the George Michael link, just know this is that catchy song with the saxophone that became a meme. There's no further stretch for this record than a hard rock version, but Seether manages to capture a completely different essence that George Michael's sultry stylings could never comprehend. This is great for a night drive. 

Nirvana and Kid Cudi - Where Did You Sleep Last Night by Leadbelly/American Folk

Dating back to the 1870's to an unknown composer, the distinct origins of Where Did You Sleep Last Night are untraceable. Leadbelly released the first commercial version of the song in the 1940s, but Nirvana most notably publicized the song during the MTV Unplugged set. Kurt Cobain offered the suffering the song was most likely routed in. 
Years later, Kid Cudi produced a version of the song under the name WZRD for the album of the same name. Though it does not feature the same pain Cobain portrayed, Cudi offers a more melodic version I find particular enticing. 

Childish Gambino - U Don't Have to Call by Usher and So Into You by Tamia

It wouldn't be a music post by Wacko without me talking about Donald Glover. He has a variety of covers, but these two are his most recent. 

U Don't Have to Call is a mixtape cover, which means there are plenty of liberties taken. The track starts of as a ballad and moves into a night ride through the city. He wraps up his version with a monologue, attempt to get the attention of a woman without being to desperate. 
So Into You is more of a serious cover, it being one of Gambino's favorite songs. Forgoing the Fabolous route, he sings the entire song start to finish. Starting with simple snaps, by the time he reaches the bridge, his full band joins him to encapsulate the track. It's sweet and wonderful and everything you will ever need. 

Thus concludes look inside cover songs. I hope you enjoyed the long short list I've put together for you. Disagree with any of my picks? Want to suggest more songs to me? Leave a comment below; maybe they'll be a part 3 someday. A long long day from now. 

Word

Covered in Songs, Part 1: Criteria

February 2016 was probably the most eventful Black History Month I've experienced, both good and bad. One of the lowlights was discovering multiple crappy acoustic covers of Beyonce' Formation and Rihanna's Work in one day. The highlight was finding that Black Twitter and Black Tumblr made the same discoveries and decided to clapback with trap covers of beloved white songs like The Beatle's Hey Jude, Adele's Hello, and Nickleback's Photograph.

You can find one of the worst Formation covers here. You can find a compilation of the trap covers here.

This got me wondering what constitutes a good cover. I posed a request to my Facebook friends: supply me with the finest covers you've heard. I was overwhelmed by the amount of submission.

After a month of "research," I am ready to supply you with a fine crop of cover songs. But first, I feel it mandatory to explore what makes one successful.

It is important to note that cover songs are the highest compliment another musician can pay another. You know, imitation is the greatest form of flattery. Unless you're one of the white men that bastardized Formation because you wanted to be included. I suppose some people cover songs to one-up the originator, too. Those are usually the crappier ones, yeah?

When remaking a song, you need to decide how you want to change it, if at all. I learned from the Food Network you get penalized for not transforming the ingredients. How are you going to present the song in a way we haven't heard yet? Most people go about this by changing the instrumental, either by reimagining the original production or changing the genre completely. There's also the acoustic route.

If you're going to bend the genre, it should be one that makes sense. Changing a rap song to a country song, you better have a good reason other than being controversial. Although, if a song has the right meter, almost anything can be turned into a rap. Granted the lyricist will usually add in their own lyrics to show off their creativity, but the cover still holds if he or she uses more than the hook.

Acoustic covers are meant to show off one of two things: the lyrics of the song or the singer's vocal range. Either slay the song melodically or have a funny enough voice to make it amusing. The same goes for covering songs without changing anything at all. Either be Whitney Houston singing And I Will Always Love You or don't attempt it at all. If your cover makes us forget the original and becomes the new standard, kudos.

For moderate singers and performers, the more unconventional your fresh take the better. Beatles covers are far too common. How will you make us love yours and forget the rest?

Lastly, the most crucial criteria is respect. Harping back to genre-bending having a reason, the source material shouldn't be so far mutated that no one can recognize it. It's important to pay homage. If you do a great job, maybe the original artist will even cover one of your songs.


You can look forward to my list of great covers this Thursday. It obviously won't be all inclusive, but it should be enough to wet your palate. Until then, jam on, my good friends (and associates).


Word

Hot Takes with Wacko, EP1

Hot Take - an opinion based on simplistic moralizing rather than actual thought. Not to be confused with a strong take. [Urban Dictionary]

Hot Take - a journalism term derisively used to describe a "piece of deliberately provocative commentary that is based almost entirely on shallow moralizing" in response to a news story, "usually written on tight deadlines with little research or reporting, and even less thought." [Wikipedia]

Welcome to a new segment where I take something random I think and try to make sense of it. Will this segment actually return? Who knows. Not me, that's for sure. I know hot takes are usually seen as a negative, at least from my brief research. Some might argue my blog is nothing but hot takes. This may be true, but these hot takes still make you think, beloved.

It's no secret that we're a people obsessed with the past. Our parents might say the current generation is the one always trying to reclaim the 90s, but no, there's more to it than that. Everyone like to reminisce and think of days they once knew or heard about as children. Throwbacks are a national pastime. I'm sure nearly everyone reading this has played the "What Decade Would You Want to Live in Besides This One?" game. Some people answer the groovy 70s. Some want to swing pass the Great Depression into the 40s. Other want to go back further and experience the glorious Roman Empire. (Talkin about Caesar!) Most of these people are white. Playing that game isn't as fun for people of color.

I say that to say this: Hollywood is racist and wants to make as many reenactment and period piece movies and television shows to keep out actors of color. Think about it. Most studios aren't going out of their way to colorblind cast actors in their reenactments. Even Drunk History stays true to color lines for the most part. I've never seen Titanic, but I hear the only color you see during those three hours is on a canvas and in the band as they play while the ship sinks. Or you could just watch this video. At best, minority actors and actress play bit parts or stereotypes because that's what they were seen as during the time. Or on the other side, you get slavery pieces. Those are the successful and popular reenactments we have to choose from, because lord forbid we're cast in films set in Ancient Egypt or anywhere else set in Northeastern Africa. Looking at you, Gods of Egypt.

Luckily, change is in the air. The 90s were a prominent time for black people in the media, and granted it's about an athlete's murder case, I'm happy American Crime Story started its first cycle with the OJ case. It gives me hope the Jimi Hendrix bio-flick didn't.

I couldn't end this hot take without mentioning Hamilton the Musical. It's proof that you can take historical figures, plug in multicultural actors and hip-hop, and have success. It's so successful, it's sold out until the end of the year. You know why it's sold out? Because there was a void for something of this caliber. The viewing public is ready for more diverse and daring works of art. So Hollywood, don't be afraid to take risks on us. We can tell our stories while telling yours. Hopefully you can do the same.

Word

And the President of 2020 is...

And now, another actual monologue from my upcoming show You're Not My Step-Mother and You Never Will Be! coming to a stage near you this Neveruary.

~~~

Listen, I love Kanye, adore him. He's a mastermind. Music as we know it wouldn't be what it is without him. So imagine what the States will be like if he actually runs for president in 2020. The entire world would never be the same!

Now, I hear you. Why would we want Kim Kardashian-West as our First Lady? Well, I'm personally hoping he divorces her, but don't allow her to dissuade you the same way Sarah Palin did. We can work around that package deal. I mean, wouldn't it be everything to have North and Saint West as the First Children. [gasp] Jay-Z could remix My President is Black again!

Stop giving me those crazy eyes! Yes, future President West is nuts. Bonkers. He's come after people when they weren't talking about him or his family. He's messed around with supporting Cosby. But look what he's been through. Such humble beginnings as an aspiring producer and rapper from the south side of Chicago. He made his way unto the Roc-A-Fella team. He survived a car crash that could have taken his life away. He survived the emotional trauma of his mother passing. He's almost done surviving his breakup with Amber Rose. No matter how big he gets, he's still an underdog. You want him to stay in his lane; the fashion industry wants him to stay in his lane. And granted, his latest collection seems like a ripoff, but that's the true sign of a businessman and mogul. He's literally doing better than selling water to a whale*.

All I'm saying is, I want Kanye to win more. He inspired me in high school. I wanted to be Kanye. In some ways I still do; I aspire to his levels of confidence and success. I want to see him go as far as possible. Because the farther he goes, the farther I can go. He's paving the way, and I shall follow him until I can make a path of my own!

That's how you sound when you talk about Trump, Trisha. Don't lie, you love his "humble" beginnings, too. You think if Trump can be as irreverent as he's been, as racist and unapologetic as he's been and succeed to the highest office in the land, so can you. You're pushing a man you know would be terrible for this country because you believe things will start going your way. He's convinced you to buy into his brand. He's spent close to two decades brainwashing you between all his scandals and time on television. And yes, he's entertaining. Damn, is he entertaining, but in the same way Jafar is entertaining, Trisha. In the same way that got Dubba Bush re-elected, Trisha. I'm sorry, but I just can't support that. Separate the character from the gotdamn person!

And if all you took away from this conversation is that I would actually want Kanye West to be my president, then you're denser than I thought.


~~~
Previews start in my living room next month.


Word


*Jay-Z lyric from U Don't Know, Blueprint 1 era

Hillary Dabbin for Votes

Likability shouldn't play this large a role in a presidential campaign, but unfortunately we tend to favor the candidates that can relate to us. Hillary Clinton and her team recognize this, and have been doing everything they can to capture the youth demographic. Luckily for many [sigh] millenials, we've been able to see through her bullshit.

By no means am I Hillary hater. I think she's a love lady and politician. But the way she's been campaigning towards the young adults of America is insulting. First there was the Vine.

It's like watching your mom trying to relate and keep you around, which ultimately pushes you away because you can't tell she's not genuine nor is she finding out what you're actually interested in.

But have no worries, kids. Hillary soon realized one of our super cool interests: dancing. And what dance is oh so popular right now? That's right, the whip and the nae nae. At least they were before she attempted the moves with Ellen Degeneres. It's almost as if she's trying to distract us from her actual platform. She's not talking to us.

That's when the unthinkable happened. Last night on Broad City, Ilana stumbled upon one of Hillary Clinton's campaign centers and joined the team. I appreciated the nods to the harsh critiques of Hillary ranging from sexist comments to demeaning questions. They were some jokes at her expense as well, but nothing we hadn't heard before. Then a moment happened that I thought was a dream. Hillary appeared before Abbi and Ilana, causing them to fangirl an obscene amount while Hillary stood basking in adoration. For the majority of the scene, the duo weren't even in the same shot as Hillary. It was only during Abbi and Ilana's awkward hug session with Clinton while she stared into the camera that I realized what happened: they'd been bought.

Granted, Abbi and Ilana have met Hillary prior to this episode in real life, and I have no doubt they are fans of her and possibly supporters of her campaign. But last night's episode of Broad City bordered on pandering from Hillary's appearance onward. Little about it felt natural. It's like the tone of the show shifted for five minutes. It made me feel sorry for the actresses more than anything.

Maybe this is being an adult: realizing that your favorite actors and tv shows have political alignments that differ from your own and learning how to properly react. I would like to think I would notice if the same was being done for Bernie - Lord knows I'd notice if it were for Trump - but I could possibly be blind behind my rose-colored glasses.

In any case, I appreciate Hillary's enthusiasm. I just don't think she's spent enough time marketing her policies to young voters in a way that they will understand and respect her. Perhaps this is because she knows what she wants to accomplish won't appeal to young voters. Perhaps she's done more than I realize; I'm only but so educated on all of her rounds. My only hope is that if Hillary is our Democratic nominee this election year she stops shucking and jiving for our votes and relates to us a personal level. ...or at least hire a running mate who can.


Word