I'll Just Take This...

So I was laying in bed this morning
and an idea for a post hit me.
I hesitated to actually write it,
but I think I'll go on ahead.

Have you ever liked a person so much
but you knew you could never be with them
so instead you took something to remember them by?
You know, like a little memento or something.
For some reason, you just can't let the person go
no matter how much you tell yourself to.
It's disturbing, to a degree;
having that memento is kind of a coping thing.

I'll admit, I've done it, but only once.
At the time I was drunk,
but I had to take care or somebody.
After they were done expelling liquids
and I had put them to bed,
I looked around the room
and before I left I grabbed something.
I laughed quietly to myself as I did it, too.

Don't worry, I told the person afterwards that I had it.
Did I return it? ....haha
I just.... I had to hold on to it.

There's something about knowing you have it,
being able to take it anywhere you want,
it's almost like Linus and his blanket.
That object is a substitute for that person being their,
being available to you at all times.
It's comforting.

Yeah, this sounds like some lonely shit,
but ey, it's a way to get by
until you can find someone
who feels the same way about you.
When you find that person,
then hopefully you'll be able to let go of that object
because then you'll actually have someone
always there for you.
Word.

#54 - Buy More Socks

Yes, this was actually part of my task list.
Listen, when I go shopping,
socks are the last thing on my mine.
Shit, jeans and shoes aren't even on my mine.
I shop for tees, shirts, and cardigans for the most part.
I only look at a person's top half,
so that the main part I dress myself.

However, when I composed my list,
I noticed that nearly all of my socks had holes in them.
In this, of course, is not cute.
I was like, "How all these holes get here?
I just bought these socks!"
In reality, I bought them 3 years ago.
They were just my nearest socks.
I only have 3 pairs older than them,
not counting my colored socks.
Those are still maintaining.

So, this Black Friday
while I was at Wal-Mart
I picked up some socks as an afterthought.
(They were in the same area I bought my new khakis for work.)
I haven't bust them open just yet,
but I can assure you that when I do
I'll be throwing out a few pair of socks.

For the most part I just buy white socks, the high joints.
I feel more secure that way.
I don't like how the wind might hit my ankles, not calming for me at all.
There's also the skin thing,
but more on that whenever I get around to buying shorts...
Buying bright socks or ones with characters on them has always seemed kind of girly to me, though I've seen numerous men wear some.
It's always thrown me off a bit.
Just never been by thing.
Like I said, I focus on the top half of my apparel.

Buying socks is also a relief for me.
I feel at home enough around some of my friends' apartments
to take off my shoes and relax.
But I thought twice about it recently
cause I ain't want to have my big toe waving hi at people.
And what if I were to get lucky?
I'd be tight if someone put a pause on things
just cause I had busted socks. haha

But yeah...
I completed a few different tasks here and there
and I'm currently in the process of completing more.
So more interesting post about them are coming soon.
You can believe that... homeboy.
Word.

Happy College-giving

As much as I love spending this time of year
with my family and friends from home,
my favorite Thanksgiving memories have
come from my college experiences.
I think it's because there aren't any adults around
and we can all just eat and wild out at the table.

Freshman year's thanksgiving was magical.
My entire hallway was one big community, so like Halloween, we all did something together.
The main room of girls cooked with some girls helping out.
We all pulled out coffee tables into the hallway and created one long Thanksgiving table.
We had little place cards with our names on them.
All of the food was pretty damn good, too.

This was the only Thanksgiving I spent with a majority of white people, although there was my Indian roommate & another black guy in attendance.
It really was a nice affair,
a time for us to all come together
despite the few disputes a few of us had prior to the event.
Our RA even came through on his way to his room.
He was impressed that we organized this ourselves.
The other hallway on our floor didn't do this.
I think he might have been a little embarrassed he didn't
think of it himself, but it was all good.
We welcomed him anyway.
After he left, and all the sparkling apple cider was gone,
I believe that's when the after-Thanksgiving festivities began.
I mean... it was our freshman year of college. hahaha


I can't remember who I spent Thanksgiving with
my sophomore year due to a lack of photographic evidence,
but I'm pretty sure it was with my black friends, just like junior year.
A bunch of us in our class, and some seniors,
got together in the girls' room and ate what they had prepared.
Of course we, the guys (all 3 of us) provided a few sodas and napkins.
...did we? ....let's just say we did. haha
Let me just say, a white Thanksgiving is fine and dandy,
 but ain't nothing like a black Thanksgiving.
The food just has so much extra mmphm.
And since we had some Caribbeans in the buildings,
we had some plantains too. mmmmm.
After the itis had stuck us and left, that's when the dancing and jokes began.
We laughed well into the night until homework started calling our names.


For my last Thanksgiving at Loyola,
the minority groups on campus
came together and sponsored one big meal for all of us.
I can't help but feel as if this was inspired by the wonderful
Thanksgivings the girls in my class held the years prior.
At any rate, it was a wonderful affair.
All us minorities came together for a potluck affair,
most everyone dressed very nicely
except for the few coming straight from a class.
We had soul food, Caribbean food, African food, and Hispanic dishes.
Somebody even came through with fried Oreos! [death]

Every class year was there.
It almost felt weird to be a senior,
seeing all the freshmen and sophomores about.
It made me a lil teary.
This might be my last Thanksgiving surrounded by a room full of friends.
Hopefully sometime in the future,
one of us will send out invites to one last
Thanksgiving as a group of friends.
Who knows? Maybe I'll host one.
Yeah, that would be outstanding.
Word.

Hip Hop Block: Kid Cudi Comes Alive as Mr Rager

Kid Cudi returns to the scene with the sequel to his first album Man on the Moon II: The Legend of Mr. Rager, seemingly picking up right where he left off. The entire album flows completely together, creating a wonderful picture. 

For the most part, Cudi supplies only two verses to each song, feeling no pressure to create a third verse that may not even fit with the song’s theme. He’s even gone on record say he enjoys writing hooks better, as it appears evident throughout the album.

Just like his debut LP, The Legend of Mr. Rager is split into five acts: The World I Am Ruling, A Stronger Trip, Party On, The Transformation, and You Live & You Learn. The record features in Mary J Blige, Cee-Lo Green, and Kanye West as well as other rappers and performers.

The album’s opening song “Scott Mescudi vs. the World” features Cee-Lo Green’s smooth vocals on the hook to accompany Cudi as he raps his welcome. “What up? How is everyone doing?/you are now in the world I am ruling/take a minute to adjust for the wondrous/clusterf--k of fun and enchantment.”

Cudi then contrasts the happiness in his world to the grim side. “Lost in the wind, I’ve lost all my friends/maybe they were never meant to be acquainted/money seems to make everything tainted/everybody mad cause they stuck/one less/took what I wanted and I did it all blunted/oh oh.” It’s a true yin and yang feeling.

“Revofev” (Revolution of Evolution) is a guitar backed chant with a capturing howl for a hook, comprised of oh’s and woah’s. It’s his invitation for you to stand alongside him. “Let go, life does get tough/no need to stress/hold you back too much/let's go, I heard they found the solution/where will you be for the revolution?”

Of course the Day ‘n Nite rapper has a song entitled “Marijuana” dedicated to his favorite herb. The piano and percussion ridden beat is highly entrancing. You can hear his passion for the plant in his course that takes up the majority of the song: “Pretty green bud/all in my blunt/oohh I need it/we can take off now/oohh Marijuana, yeah/I know you wanna… smoke.” The song only has one verse, as Cudi would rather vibe out using repetition. He ends the song repeating as it begins to fade out, “Marijuana had my back” and “Never left me lonely.” He also makes sure the song is exactly four minutes and twenty seconds long.

                The first single from the album, “Erase Me,” discusses the after effects of a breakup. No matter how much the two parties my want to forget about each other, sightings and memories prevents this from happening. This song features Cudi as a singer on a rock-ballad style song. “It's like I'm her new nightmare/she ain't escaping/it makes me feel a bit complete/yeah/knowing someone you love/don't feel the same way about ya/memories, they soon delete/hmmm.” Kanye West supplies the song’s last verse, explaining his experience with a girl named Aria that disturbed him to his creative process. His verse incorporates clever word play, as well.

                Sampling St. Vincent’s “The Strangers,” Cudi attacks “Maniac” with an intense focus on his dark side. The beat makes you want to bop your head as you join in with the chant of “I am a maniac!” Cudi ends his verse on the song with, “I love the darkness yeah/I’d like to marry it/it is my cloak, it is my shield, it is my cape/I love the dark, maybe we can make it darker/give me a marker.”

                Cudi also allows rapper Cage to supply the second verse to the song with an equally chilling vibe. “I am the maniac, I am the fool/I found a monster in me when I lost my cool/it lives inside of me eating what’s in its web/put black spray paint on my windows during the day/wanna spend time with it, I think I’m losing it/or I found it and I’m using it.”

                “Mr. Rager” is easily the anthem to the entire album, appealing to a generation of people constantly finding their place in the world. He approaches us in a sort of sing-talk kind of voice. “Birds seen flying around/you never see them/too long on the ground/you wanna be one of them.. (Yeah)/you wanna be one of them.. (Yeah).” The most captivating section of the song is without the chorus. It is here you hear all of Kid Cudi’s emotion. “HEY! Mr. Rager! Mr. Rager!/Tell me where you're going!/Tell us where you're headed!/I'm off on an adventure/Mr. Rager!/Tell me some of your stories/Tell us of your travels.”

“All Along” is sung to the effect of “This is what I’ve learned from my travels.” The hook sums up his sense of loneliness. “I know all along, all along/I know I'm meant to be alone/it’s crazy but all along, all along/I knew I was meant to be alone/out there on my own, yeah.” His verses explain why. “When the weeks change/the rumors change too/I'm addicted to highs/would you like to know why?/when the months change/so do my love point of views/I don't want what I need/what I need hates me/what I need hates me.” Anyone can relate to this.

          “Trapped in My Mind” closes out the album, with a confused Cudi, unsure of where to go but seemingly fine with it. “You see the sun seems to shine/when I am not looking/oh he's seen the trick every time./Things do get out of hand/once in a while inside my mental/hey, I'm taking a hell of a ride./When my ego is soaring and/no, I am not lucky/hey, I like to pat my own back./Now it's a gift and a curse since my birth/I'm in a prison/oh, I'm happy right where I'm at.” He finds it as a comfort as he elaborates in the hook. “You see I'm trapped in my mind/and I know it's crazy/hey, it's not that bad at all/when you think of the world/I know it's crazy/hey, I'm not that bad at all.” Overall, no matter how out of wack everything might seem, it’s manageable.

Kid Cudi’s Man on the Moon II: The Legend of Mr. Rager is raw emotion. The G.O.O.D Music artist has put out a record that is arguably better than his first and certain to interest any lover of hip-hop and true feelings.

Are We Really Fine With It?

I have to say,
my intro to psychology class
is by far my most interesting class this semester.
Not only does it have information
I'm actually interested in learning about,
but my classmates are more than two-thirds freshmen/sophomores.
To my fellow senior classmates and I,
it's simply entertainment as the young'ns
fuss about one of their first college courses.
The teacher's pretty cool, too.

At any rate, yesterday was an interesting class.
We were talking about personalities
and how they're shaped by nature and nurture,
you know genetics and surroundings.
As usual, the teacher went along with a tangent
started by a question from one of the younger students.
I can't remember exactly how or when,
but then someone asked about why guys looked up in public showers.

Oh wait, no. I remember now.
We talked about coping skills
and how some people compensate.
At some point, a kid brought up the example
of a supposedly closeted gay kid hitting on every girl he sees.
This of course lead to numerous more examples of gays and personality.

Eventually the teacher
stopped the class and went on her own tangent.
To sum up her statement, if we were truly fine with gay people
we wouldn't be worried about whether it's genetic or if people choose it.
We wouldn't be putting all this time into this research
and continuing to have debates about it.

I found this awe-strikingly true.
I almost stood up and applauded her.

A lot of people say they are accepting and understanding of gay people.
but the number significantly drops when in comes in terms of allies.
[Ally - a firm supporter of gay rights and issues]
It seems more as if gay people are simply tolerated,
a kind of "as long as they don't harm me" situation.
I'm not sure how I feel about that.

...correction.
I feel very bitter about it.
For the most part, I don't talk about homosexuality in public,
let alone myself and my sexuality.
In my mind, it was my way of not offending anyone.
I'm a people pleaser that way.
But... I think I'm about to change that.
In a way, it put me back in the closet.
And that, my friends, is not the wave.

So, what am I saying?
For one, I'll become more vocal about certain aspects of homosexuality.
But also, if you're one of those people who just tolerate gay people,
thank you for at least doing that, but please try to...
how can I say this...
broaden your horizons when it comes to how
you consider us in your mind.
That's how I can best put it.
Then I think we'll be closer to a better America
...for gay people at least.
Word.

PS: To those saying "Aw, boo-hoo. Poor gays. Suck it up."
Fuck off, we deserve respect.
Not judgment before you actually have a reason to dislike us personally.

Hip Hop Block: N*E*R*D Lures the Ladies with Nothing

Pharrell Williams, Chad Hugo, and Shay Haley are back at it again with their fourth LP Nothing. Together as the Neptunes, Pharrell and Chad have produced countless hits over the last decade. It only makes sense that they would create a few beats for themselves to get the masses moving as N.E.R.D.

The group’s style has been described as rock with a blend of funk and hip hop and elements of R&B and pop. Their mastery of blending different sounds is nearly unrivalled. Each member of the band plays various instruments with Pharrell fronting the vocals. Occasionally, Shay will lend his voice on a track as well.

Nothing is a ten track album with all the usual you expect from an N.E.R.D album. They’re main focuses are appealing to women and providing music to dance to.  The deluxe version of the album contains four bonus tracks, as well one additional track for those that buy it from iTunes or Amazon.

Their first single, Hot-N-Fun, featured Nelly Furtado and provided the summer with a nice prelude to what was to come. The opening lyrics are even written as an invitation, though it is actually the last track on the album. “Okay, we wrote this for a purpose, to motivate you at this time/with this hypnotizing bass line, please feel free to lose your mind/and get high, get money, get sex, get real, all intertwined/oh yeah, this is stadium music, 50,000 at a time.”

The first track on the album, Party People, is a high energy welcome. Bass bumps steadily and horns blear a plenty during the chorus: a repetition of, “What I need, what I need is that girl down” under a dragged out yell of “Party People!”

Pharrell uses his lyrics to instill a bit of confidence in his listeners. “Hey they if they complain, tell them m*****f*****s it’s your stage. Yeah yeah, hands in the air, let’s spray champagne everywhere.” T.I. even makes an appearance on the song, delivering his lyrics viciously fast. “Like tennis, get served/why she licks her/all I need is that girl right thurr/listen hurr/she playing under her dress/soaking wet, no fur/who? One on one sex? Not me, no sir.”

The following track Hypnotize U is the opposite to Party People tonally. The beat is mellow and melodic, almost hypnotizing as the song title suggests. After each of Pharrell’s sung verses, he quickly inserts “I’m behind you” as it then leads to the chorus: “Just close your eyes let me hypnotize you/I can make your stone feel sky blue/girl when you lost you know I’ll find you/if I’m not beside you, I’m inside you.”

Shay even takes the lead during the song to deliver a quick rap. “You’re a dream, inception your my queen/wait babe let me paint that wall/change the background take that off/in your eyes I could see you a winner/I know saints don't lie like a Lior/you could stay but there’d be no me/but if you come and set you free.” It’s an overall smooth track to lure in the ladies.

Perfect Defect also makes beautiful use of horns. Chad on guitar provides the track with a proper funk mood. Again, Pharrell opens the song appealing to the ladies, but this time to a specific offbeat female. “First day of school, guess who?/I would bump, into/the creme de la creme, that's you/But they treat you like, doo doo/so then you had to use, my wit/and think a-bout it/that's when I had to admit/they were right, you're the s***” 

The chorus is enough to woo any lady in want of being appreciate. “I don't care who gets you/I don't care what they don't see/I don't need God to remix you/it's less for them, but mo' for me.

            Overall, Nothing is a solid album from a solid group, certain to get you up and moving.

Master of Bations

This post may be the result of sexual frustration.
What can I say, I'm a honest blogger.

And now let us take a moment to get our giggles out.
HahaaHAHAHAahahhahAHAHAhahahaha.
Just kidding, you'll probably still laugh.

Obviously I can't speak for the female perspective,
but for guys... masturbation just kinda feels a void.

Believe it or not, the urge starts when we're young.

"Boy, you better stop playing with yourself under the table

before I chop it off and serve it as sausage tomorrow at breakfast."
It's kinda like a precursor of what's to come.
I guess parents just want to nip it in the bud
before it becomes chronic.

Eventually, we leave our pecker alone...
until one day, like the rest of our body, it grows.
That darn puberty, you little rascal you.
Throwing our tallywacker back in our face
(not literally of course... unless you're flexible like that).

Obviously if I'm talking about it, I'm a subscriber to the service.
I imagine that for all us man folk,
it's a form of relieving stress.
Sometimes your day is just terrible.
Sometimes someone you're after turns you down.

Other times, and maybe this is just me personally,
you're having trouble falling asleep.
Hey, it relieves tension and relaxes.
It's like a natural sleeping pill.
Oddly enough, if I don't feel like getting out of bed,
doing something similar will help me start my day.
I guess it releases endorphins, too.

I briefly considered becoming graphic,
but I think I already covered that
during the time my blog was only on Facebook.

There's also the obvious reason for
rubbing one out,
jerking the chicken,
spanking the monkey,
jogging the third leg,
slapping the bass (that's one right? if not, we should call it that).
That of course would be as a replacement for sex.
It's also the alternative, in a sense.
Gotta stay abstinent some how...

So, thoughts, comments, concerns?
Ladies, what do you have to say?
I was gonna talk about your methods,
but I only know what I see on TV.
I hear they smell like light sabers though.
Please, enlighten me.
Thank ya kindly.
Word.

I'm Bad at Politics

I will confess:
I did not participate in the 2010 Midterm Elections.
I didn't even obtain an absentee ballot.
Why, you ask in your most outraged voice?
Well, 1) I still forget I can vote.
2) I never follow politics besides the Daily Show or The Colbert Report.
3) When I saw the ads on TV, I only saw them bashing each other for governor.
4) I didn't know there was such a thing as a Midterm Election.

Yes, I am one of the many terrible Americans.
Even worse, I'm one of those terrible African-Americans,
something I've dreaded for more than half my existence on this Earth.

Why do I bring up the African-American aspect?
Because I saw on Twitter, my other avenue for what happens in the world,
that there are no African-Americans in the House of Representatives.
Now, who am I to say that their white counterparts weren't more qualified?
Remember, I don't follow politics.
But then I got hit with the even worse statistic:
only 4.7% of African-Americans voted during the Midterm Elections.

You have no idea how badly want to criticize my people,
but I can't because I'm part of the slacking 95.3%.
God, that looks daunting.

How did this happen?
I guess "we" thought with Barack in office, we'd be good.
"Ey, dawg. Fuck is a midterm election? I ain't never hearda that shit."
"Man, I just voted two years ago."
"All I know is that ain't kicking Barack out yet. He got til 2012. Then the world gonna end anyway."
"Truth. Now pass that menthol, yo."

African-Americans, myself included,
need to realize that if we plan on becoming respected in this country,
if we want to have an input and advance as a people,
we have to pay attention to the issues and vote.
It doesn't matter if it's Democrat, Republican, or Tea Party.
Shit, I bet most of us don't even know what the Tea Party is.
But then again, I kinda wonder if anyone really does.
Again, I don't follow politics.

I just reviewed my list of 101 tasks in 1001 days.
The only one pertaining to politics is:
94) Follow the next presidential election
I didn't even think of it until the end of my list.

I have to escape the mentality that I don't need to
pay attention to how our government functions
because I'm still a college student.
That excuse is only good for another seven months, anyway.

So do I pledge to watch more CNN
and attend town hall meetings?
I can't say for sure.
But I do plan on educating myself on the processes
and the laws and acts we already have in place.
I set out to clearly see what the Democrat and Republican parties stand for.
I mean, it took this site for me even begin to understand
what President Obama has actually been up to.

So this address not only goes out to my fellow African-Americans,
not just to myself,
not even just to other young Americans of voting age,
but to every one in this country.
We gotz ta do better.
Word.