April 26, 2010

A Forced Hiatus

My dear friends [and associates] -
Due to my heavy procrastination,
I will be taking a two week break
to focus on my many papers and projects.
I need to salvage this semester as best as possible.
I ain't tryna lose that scholarship, ya know?
Anyway, I hope you don't miss my rants too much.
You can still check out my old monologues.
They stay relevant very well.
So, until I finish my last project next Friday,
be well, listeners.
Continue breaking those taboos
and explore who you truly are.
Word.

April 22, 2010

An Underdog's Triumph

And so it comes down to 3 against 1.
The veterans stand together
as the young challenger recovers
from losing her two partners,
their competence not on par
to take down their opponents
in the two previous rounds.


But the young warrior is confident in her abilities;
even the vets know to stay on their toes.
They have not lost in years,
and tonight will not be an exception.


The challenger takes her mark at the start of the relay
as the veterans post up at their respective station.


The third rounds begins with
the battle of accuracy.
The Yellow vet hits his mark first and drains the container,
but the challenger is not far behind.
As the White vet begins the battle of gentleness,
he begins to feel the affect of the previous rounds.
His stomach becomes too weak for the competition,
allowing the challenger to go flip for flip with him.
She moves on to the battle of endurance
and steps up to bat, met by the Black vet.
They go neck and neck,
moving in perfect synchronization.
They spin together;
they swing together;
they hit together.
However... in the event of a tie,
the win goes to the challenger

The vets' fear has been confirmed.
The White vet takes himself out,
knowing that at his present state
he'll be of little use.
It is now 2 to 1.
The Yellow vet agrees to manage the White vet's post.
The battle is not as close this time.
The challenger gets an early lead in the accuracy battle.
The Yellow vet isn't far behind,
but the challenger as gentle as possible,
treating it like a lady.
She returns to the bat.
Once the Yellow vet finally finishes his gentle task,
the Black vet joins the challenger at the plate,
but it is too late.
She has finished, swung and connected.

The remaining vets are torn.
They are both capable of competing head on
with the strong competitor,
but they both have weakness.
The Black vet's accuracy is shot.
The Yellow vet's endurance is weak.
Ultimately, it comes down to the White vet's coin toss.
Heads: the Black vet.


At long last,
it's come down to a 1 on 1 relay.
The vet congratulates the young woman
on making it this far,
still unsure if he will beat her.
They take their positions at the starting line
and ready their hands.
The signal to start is given,
and they fire at their target.
They both have trouble hitting it for a while,
but the young woman manages to score first.
The Black vet hits his goal soon after
and trails closely behind her as
they move to the gentle round.
Being a pro at this event,
the Black vet blazes through the first two obstacles
but struggles on the third.
The challenger, however, doesn't hit a bump
and moves on to the final stage.
Again, the Black vet is only seconds behind.
He steps up to bat and begins,
but she is nearly finished.
Admitting defeat,
the Black vet drops his bat
as she ends the competition strong.

The crowd erupted in excitement.
A tradition of showing up the younger class had been broken
singlehandedly by no man, as it would have thought to be,
but instead by a woman.
And quite the woman indeed.

She should be proud of herself.
The White vet and Yellow vet
even went up against her solo after her victory,
and still they had to bow down to her in defeat.
She is truly a champ among us.
Word.

April 21, 2010

Sex Dreams

Originally, this was gonna be called Dreams About Assholes,
to go along with Monday's post,
but I figured that would be too vulgar.

Come on, son.
I know damn sure I ain't the only deviant having sex dreams.
We all went through puberty.
We all in high school, college, or just entered the working force.
Our hormones are still raging,
some more than others.

We've all waken up sweaty,
hopefully not sticky,
wondering "What the fuck?" or "...nice"

Now I didn't do any research or anything
[What do I look like: a good student?]
but I'm pretty sure gals have them just as often as guys do.

In my personal experience...
I think I usually have one a week.
I don't always remember them,
but I can feel when I probably did
because I don't wake up with sex on my mind.
I have to say that's definitely an advantage.
The days after I have a sex dream
I'm usually more focused.

Let me make a distinction:
sex dreams do not always equal wet dreams.
Nocturnal emissions don't even have to come from a sex dream.
...not that I would know.
Sex dreams are just... erotic.

Like... honestly,
mines don't even always get to "that part."
Sometimes it's just nice, intimate moments
they I can tell will lead to it.
Again, this is when "Dreams Are Assholes" come to play.
When this happens... you know... that one point... toward the end,
that's when I'm least focused
and become obsessed almost.
Not saying I'll accomplish my goal,
because I probably won't.
It'll noticeable.

A lot of the times, I won't remember the partner.
I'm pretty sure it's always someone I know or will know soon.
Most of the time, it's people who I don't think about in that way.
Some times, I dream about a person because they're off limits.
But there are those rear moments when I'll actually
dream, not fantasize, about whoever I'm fiending after.

Now, for these people we might not like like that,
what does this mean?
Obviously we don't want them sexually,
...or so we think.
Maybe they want us?
Maybe the tension is so much between you two
having a dream like this seem like a way to relieve it.
Maybe it's a dream about dominance or a power shift,
like if somehow your boss is involved... (sorry for that image).

In my personal opinion,
sex dreams are usually the most eventful of my dreams.
They often always mean something, even if it's something small.
So when you wake up from one,
don't be ashamed of it.
Just wonder why you had it.
The answer may shock you.
Word.

April 20, 2010

Always Something There to Remind Me

As some of you might remember,
around this time last year I did an imitation
since I was new to a certain group.
Well, this year someone did an impression of me.

Now, I totally didn't see it coming.
I haven't even been around the group much this year,
so I figured no one would have anything on me.
Plus, none of the newbies really knew me like that.

Oh, how I was mistaken.
The kid that did me told me he was doing someone else.
By happenstance, I cast this kid in my 10 minute play for my class.
[a monologue on that is in the future]
We rehearse in my room.
Sneaky him, he got a friend of ours to distract me
while he "borrowed" some of my clothes.

I didn't find out until I was on my way to the house
where the festivities would be going down.
I was excited... at first.
Then I got worried.
I began thinking what could he possibly have on me.

Three people were impersonated before me.
They were all throughly roasted.
I was shook. haha

I can honestly say, he did a good job.
First of all, dude came out with his face in brown makeup.
He got props for that.
He had one my blue sweater and my flip-up shades to.
He opened up by reading my blog on Hiphop & Homosexuality.
That was very necessary.
Then he ripped into my past, like people I've hit on and shit like that.
As his big finale,
dude went on my facebook,
pulled up a video of me dancing with an inebriated white girl,
and did a complete reenact me along to it
even pulling up someone for the audience.

I loved it.
I couldn't stop laughing at my past exploits.
How dumb I had been.
I was so embarrassed,
but I was in the same boat as many others.

All in all,
the message is this:
watch what you do.
People will find out.
And it will come back to haunt you.
We upperclassmen learned that last night.
For real.
But it was all in good fun. haha
Word.

April 19, 2010

Dreams Are Assholes

As much as I love to dream,
they piss me the [beep] off sometimes.

The main reason is because they're cliffhangers.

So you have a dream about searching in a cave.
You're tryna find a treasure.
You reach out for it, and suddenly you're surrounded.
Soon as you get ready for battle...

So you're in a daycare.
You're an infant; which doesn't bother you.
It makes sense in the moment.
You start to build stuff from oversized legos.
Just as you finally realize what you really wanna build...

So you're talking to someone you like.
They're eyeing you down,
you're eyeing them down.
You reach in for a kiss.
Suddenly they're behind you, sans clothes.
You get ready for a fine moment when...

So you're in your bed.
You shut off your cellphone alarm clock.
You step out bed and fall down,
but you don't stop falling;
it's nonstop.
You're just screaming, waiting for impending doom.
You prepare for what's at the bottom when...

You're alarm clock actually awakes you up.

In my experience,
a dream always jumps to a new dream
when it starts to get good.
A dream ends and you wake up
just before you realize what the dream actually meant.

I always wake up feeling that
if I could have just stayed in it for 5 more minutes,
I woulda found the meaning to life...
or at the very least the meaning to my life...
ok, just a solution to a current problem.
You get the point.

You don't know how many times
I've tried to fall back asleep
to pick a dream back up.
But all I can ever do is daydream an ending.
And if I do fall back asleep,
a new dream will start
or the old dream immediately morphs into a new one.

So yes,
my relationship with dreams are very love/hate.
But Lord knows I wouldn't give them up for the world.
Word.

April 16, 2010

Online Shopping Addiction

Like many young Americans,
money likes to burn a hole in my pocket.
So I'm always ready to spend.
However, I don't have a car
and the Baltimore bus system is... not the best.

One would think this would help me save money.
Yeah, maybe if this wasn't the 21st century.

Online shopping, how I love to hate you,
always there for me on a friday afternoon
when I can't make it to the mall.

You may be asking,
"CG, what do you buy online?"

Well, for one, I buy music.
iTunes and Rhapsody are my homeboys
when I actually feel like supporting artists.
As many of you know,
I'm a music junkie.
If there wasn't a shopping cart feature,
I'd buy so many $9.99 albums. haha
But luckily, I can browse through which ones
I think I'll actually bump the most
or which one I feel like trying out,
and leave the rest in virtual purgatory.

I use the same method when clothes shopping.
For my classy stuff, I'm a Urban Outfitters junkie.
They can be a little pricy at times,
but they have some deals on cardigans and sweaters.
I also buy a lot t-shirts... mostly funny ones.
Most of these shirts you actually can't find in stores.
So they're kinda exclusive,
especially since some go out of print when the original batch sells out.
I will tell you that Bustedtees.com is my main source,
but I won't put you on to the other ones.
Actually, it's a simple as typing funny tees into Google.

I've also bought books online.
I even buy groceries online (no produce, though).
The longest I've waited for shipping is 3-4 days.
Usually I can get around shipping & handling
by buying a certain number of tees,
but not on UrbanOutfitters,
since they want you to buy at least $150.

Now...
I usually find I can waste an entire paycheck online.
This is what happened last summer and fall.
This winter and spring,
my paychecks have been back on the slim side
since I was busy doing other stuff.
But now I'm working more,
and the big paychecks are returning.
It's very hard to say no.
To be honest,
I just bought 3 new funny tees.
Loyola, I'm sure you'll see them next week.

Anyway,
I'm trying to save more anyway.
So... I'll let you know how that goes.
Probably via Facebook status.
Those are always handy.
Word.

April 15, 2010

Lil Black Indie Boy


This is how I would describe myself somedays.

Now, indie as a term
is pretty vague all in itself.
I'd like to describe it as being outside the norm,
being hip, cool, trendy with out conforming.
Urban Dictionary calls it "cooler than emo."
It also calls people in this category arrogant.
I am, by no means, arrogant.
I simply know I'm better than you.
[It's fun to make fun of myself.]

But no, seriously,
I think I fall under the indie culture
more than the hiphop culture somedays.
I find myself preferring Radiohead or Regina Spektor or Franz Ferdinand
over Wu Tang or Lil Wayne or even Jay-Z somedays.
I consider the movies I watch indie, cult classics,
such as Pulp Fiction, Donnie Darko, Running with Scissors, Fight Club, Death to Smoochie, crap like that.
Granted, some of these movies are kinda mainstream now,
but they still have that non-mainstream feel to them,
kind of how like Radiohead and Modest Mouse are still kinda indie.

There's also the way I've been dressing.
In high school, my clothes kind of baggy.
Like, most of my clothes from then are still big on me.
Now, I buy t-shirts more fitted.
I wear a bit of flannel and tight jeans.
...
Come to think of it...
hip hop culture is beginning to have its own lil indie section
in addition to its underground/mixtape culture.
The biggest example of this I can think of is Kid Cudi.
It suddenly makes sense why people constantly compare me to him.
We kind of carry the same demeanor.
We take like as it comes, no high expectations.
We do our own thing, like what we wanna like,
no matter how different it might be.
This would also be why I like Lupe and Kanye so much.

I don't know.
Indie is just a "term" I've been drawn to since college.
But why the fuck do I need a label?
I can just be me.
But if you're a stranger,
and you see me walking by,
and you don't know my name,
by all means
call me "that black indie kid."
Word