Displaced and Disgruntled in Newark

As a fair amount of you know,
I'm currently taking a leave of absence from Loyola.
No reason to keep it a secret any longer,
I've ended up revealing it to anyone who's hit me up
on Facebook messenger this week anyway.
The reason is something I'm not disclosing to just anyone,
and to those who I have told
I hope it was understood not to spread it around.
If it wasn't... well, you know now.

In any case,
doing such has forced me to move back home to Newark, NJ.
Anyone who knows me is aware I've been weary of doing such ever since I set foot on Loyola's campus.
I mean, I didn't even apply to colleges in New Jersey.
Well... one, but it was my safety.
After my first summer break back at home,
I've spent practically every other break since on campus.
Ask some of my friends.
They say I live at Loyola, and it's true.
I haven't moved my stuff back home since that first summer.
It was weird to have to do it again.

The obvious reason why I didn't want to return to Jersey
is that I enjoyed the freedom of being miles away from my family.
That first summer home, I felt trapped.
Every move I made my mother had to know about.
Which is fair, considering she housed and fed me.
But my, how annoying it was.

Reason 2?
Most of my friends from high school
have a habit of staying at their colleges during breaks as well, rather it be
because their school is too far away from home to travel back for short breaks
or because there are better work opportunities where they are
or they're like me and just enjoy the environment there better.
As for the friends that stayed in state for school,
I've fallen out of touch with them.
I've fallen out of touch with most of my high school friends.
That's my fault, I'm bad with keeping up with folks.
Even now, I feel awkward attempting to reach out to them
so I'm not bored at home every day until I find a job.
I'll snap out of it soon though.

Loyola was so easy to move around.
If I got restless, I could walk to someone else's room.
I had so many options of things to do, people to see.
Here, I have to rely on NJ Transit or my parents to get from place to place.
My reluctance to get my license is biting me in the ass so hard right now.
But even still, I've been away so long,
I don't know what there is to do around here.
I never really knew what there was to do around here.
In high school, I was a homebody.
Nobody invited me out or to a house party (...ya bastards).

I may rep Newark, but in reality
I don't know much about it besides Downtown
and the reports of crime and violence I hear about
but have been lucky enough to never witness.

I can't claim Newark anymore than I can Baltimore,
as much as I might like to.
I can only rep Loyola,
because that's the bubble I've lived in for the past four years
with a few exceptions.
I don't know anything else.
I think that's one of the biggest fears any senior has:
how do I step into the real world when college is all I know?

Hopefully internships and jobs off campus
have helped you prepare for life after graduation.
I wasn't as lucky.
Again, blast be my lack of driving knowledge.
So, my time in Newark will have to serve as an alternative.
Perhaps this may be the learning experience I so desperately needed.
I doubt it, but I'll treat it as such.
Wish me luck, my dear friends [and associates].
I'll be back to Loyola to finish up soon.
Word.