Mindsets Invading Dreams

Last night

I was in one of my random

"woo is me, I'm so single

and can't find anyone" moods.

I stayed up late tryna think of ways to remedy my situation

but I was too frustrated to come up with alternatives.

So I went to sleep.

As a result,

I went from dream to dream

with a sense of loneliness,

sometimes that I wasn't good enough,

other times that I didn't appeal to anyone.

I only got someone when I started smoking mary jane.

And even then, it was like one night stands.

Eventually, it moved on to cocaine

and the person I hooked up with that night OD

while I played ignorant to it.

I woke up in the middle of the night even more frustrated.

So I attempted to go back to sleep with a more positive outlook.

I lucid dreamed myself back to the same spot,

choosing to leave the drugs alone.

The person who OD came back to life in my dream

looking a hundred pounds lighter,

saying I should do the same.

I looked at myself and I had become heavier than I am in real life,

but I didn't care. I just slapped my gut in defiance,

as if to say "take me or leave me the way I am."

I reawakened with a smile on my face.

The message of all this is

1) be happy with who you are and what you have

2) don't go into things with a negative mindset.

If you tell yourself you can't, then you won't be able to.

If you say someone doesn't care about you, eventually they really wont.

If you believe you can jump over a car,

if you're Kobe than you definitely can.

But no, seriously keep positive.

Negativity is only a good trait when taking a STD exam.

Word

Quote of the Day, 3

"College is like a year long vacation with time share meetings called classes." -Charles Gregory Clark

This was a realization I came to within the first month of college.

There are just so many options.

You may come in alone,

but you pretty much make friends right off the bat.

And if you leave in the right building,

and on the right floor,

then it's basically like the whole floor is your room.

Doors are left open,

people share freely,

it's just one big ol' community.

That's freshman year at the very least.

From there

it's just more recklessness.

Sure,

there are classes and homework and papers and finals,

but those aren't the things that define a college experience.

It's the people you meet.

The people you love.

The people you hate.

The people you tolerate.

The people you talk about.

The people you work with.

College helps high school graduates

develop into fairly functional members of society,

as long as they can resist become alcoholics or drug addicts.

Let's not be ignorant.

College is where a lot of first happen,

whether it be your first time having Chipotle,

seeing an actual play,

meeting black people or white people,

making love,

seeing a steady bf/gf,

"experimenting" with homosexuality,

having your first drink,

having your first hit.

I just...

I love it.

It's becoming a cliche,

but I do wanna stay in college for the rest of my life.

But alas,

I have come upon my last year.

And while I'd like to stay,

my scholarship runs up this year.

So graduation is not an option. haha

Besides, I came in with 2011.

I plan on leaving with 2011.

It's a good year, a good class.

And they're the ones that helped me

develop into the man whose words you are currently reading.

Word.

Sexual Innuendos

A Youtube video I watched earlier this week

said gay men couldn't resist sexual innuendos.

I don't know if that's necessarily true of all gays...

...but it is for me.

For instance,

a female friend of mines said

she hadn't gotten any in a minute.

Then she started talking about food

and said she was lacking protein.

That's when I laughed.

She looked at me strange,

so I had to explain.

"Protein. haha. Meat. haha. Penis. haha"

To which she busted out laughing herself.

Cans, milk, melons.

I really can't help myself.

As a man, I think about sex enough as it is.

You say taco, I'll snicker.

You say member in the right context, I'll laugh.

You talk about George Bush and say something about Old Dick,

I'll probably say something to the effect of "ill."

Discharge.

It only gets worst when I'm around

another person who sees as many sexual innuendos as I do.

The other person will purposely say things so I'll point it out

and vice versa, and we'll just smile and laugh.

Salty, mixed nuts.

I just love em.

If I couldn't make sex jokes

or point out lil shit here and there,

I'd be less of a happy camper.

Let me know if you know any good sexual innuendos.

Word.

Quote of the Day, 2

“Write drunk; edit sober.” ~Ernest Hemingway

My man, Hemingway.

Now before you label me an alcoholic

[trust me, I already know I am haha],

think about how you are drunk.

You often think outside your usual standards

because the little guys in your head saying

"No, that won't work,"

are bound and gagged and thrown in a corner for a while.

This leaves you to act and think freely.

Now, we're usually around others when he drink,

social drinking and what not.

It's the folks that drink at home by themselves

that we call alcoholics.

But why?

Cause they like to enjoy a nice scotch or glass of wine

with their brunch? It's 5 o'clock somewhere.

If you are a creative individual suffering from a block

and you know how to reasonably drink,

I suggest writing while buzzed and see what you come up with.

But you must be sober to edit.

That's when you can catch errors or missing points.

That's why you can't be drunk all the time.

You have to be able to tell what's appropriate and what's not at some point.

Word

Spinning

Once you set the top in motion

it never stops.

It rotates

but is still

staying perfectly center

on the table.

It's been minutes

and it's still going

showing no sign of slowing.

You walk away

go to the groceries store

go to the movies

embrace your kids

tell them you love them

make dinner for them.

You all eat your meal

around the top

still spinning

just like Sir Newton said.

You look at your wife's top

wishing that it wasn't yours now

wishing you had listened to her

wishing it would stop spinning

because none of this is real now

not without her.

But you just smile

for the kids

because they don't need to worry

as the top

and the world

keep spinning.

Inspired by Christopher Nolan's Inception

Word.

Just Dance

Snap

Click

Thump

Pop

It starts in the index

It taps against the table as you sit idly by

listening to a song on the radio

You don't even notice as your head begins to bop

the movement in your index spreading to your right hand.

It's levitating over the table as shakes your arm into motion

a slow rotational turn and return to its original position

Now your right shoulder is jumping

as your left shoulder responds

Your left arm rejects action

until the song breaks down

horns blearing, hands clapping

By now your torso is jerking around

flailing your upper appendixes like a rag doll

Your legs, feeling left out, stand you up

and bend and jump around to the beat

Your upper half robotic

Your lower half spaghetti

Until they finally sync together

and become a tight fluid motion

as the beat keeps blasting out the speakers

Eyes closed, you envision all the colors imaginable

until you hear the song fade out

As it does you plop back in your seat

open your eyes

and smile.

Word

[This poem is bought to you by the magic that is Michael Jackson.

Oh, you wanna be starting something?]

Sonnet Fail

There once was a time I attempt to right a sonnet,

but as it began to form I felt the urge to vomit.

Rhyming is so overrated and foolish and clunky

But not when it alternates, that's when it's funky.

But I had no direction, just one starting image

and here is the work that I dare not finish:

A brick chimney releases white smoke

to signal the start of the renaissance.

On the roof is a kid catching a toke

attempting to recall hearing the response.

He sends his call down the square cylinder

as birds chirp eagerly 'round his blazed mind.

There's no steady beat, that's the first fault of it all.

Using the word renaissance, oh I had such balls.

What is the white smoke and why is he smoking it?

What am I, connecting to a college crowd? Yeah that would be it.

So this is my cop out I'm sending you cause I have integrity.

I'd rather give you a poem parody than absurdity .

Word.

[Poem week continues tomorrow...

with a much better product.

This I guarantee.]

Traffic Cone

Alone in the middle of a parking spot,

some jerk placed you there to save the vacancy.

Stolen away from your companions that blocked off

the accident on the side of the highway

that dark and rainy evening

when a mother speeding to see her son's recital

lost control of the wheel and skid into the barrier.

Now you're alone

no other orange cones

no cars around for that matter

what makes the place you stand so important?

Perhaps you're a symbolic X

that's hiding something beneath it

like treasure

or an indian burial ground

or perhaps a rock collection.

Whatever your purpose here

you're calling attention to yourself,

just like the teary-eyed boy playing the trombone solo.

Word.

Check Out My Package

The doorbell rings.

Who the hell can it be?

I didn't take a sick day off work to be bothered.

Go to the door and who is it other than the UPS man.

I would forget about that stuff I ordered online last week.

...wait. What did I order last week?

The man in brown hands me the clipboard.

I know the deal:

sign here

initial here

sign again here.

He snatches it back as soon as I lift the pen

which flies along by the chain attached to the board.

Rude bastard, I think

until he hands me three big boxes.

Overwhelmed, I shut the door as his hand opens.

Probably for a tip. Fuck that.

I spent enough on these boxes, I'm sure.

I scout my living room for the nearest sharp object

and spot my keys on the coffee table.

I got to town on the smallest box,

damn near deconstructing it.

It's a book.

A book? I can't even remember the last time I read.

Must have been an impulse buy.

I toss it to the side as I open the next box,

with less aggression as I only slit the tape down the middle

and rip it open with cutting the two side.

I reach inside and pull out a hat.

Immediately I take it out its bag and place it on my head

as I run towards my bathroom mirror.

Look at me. I'm so damn dapper.

Just call me dapper Dan.

Remember there's more to the box

I return to pull out a plaid shirt and blue jeans.

Seem like a nice match together...

but not with the hat.

I must have just bought the hat cause I knew it belonged to me.

With it still topping my figure,

I move my attention to the last remaining box.

Bigger than the first

but smaller than the second.

I cut all the sides this time.

It's like a grand finale.

I drop the box as soon as I open it

and let out a sound of pure joy:

a mannish squeal if you will.

I fall to my knees and pick the box back up

and remove the innards.

It the complete DVD collection of one of my favorite TV shows.

I don't remember buying this one.

Perhaps I sleep-purchased this.

But then I notice a note attached to the back of the DVD case.

"From an admirer" the envelope reads.

I can't even bear to open it yet.

I can only relish in the air that my new possessions offer up.

I even grab the book and flip the pages so I can smell the newness.

It was a good day to stay home.

Word.

It's Hot!

Well... how hot is it?

Hotter than the oven door.

Hotter than clothes fresh out the dryer.

Hotter than the inside of a jalapeno pepper.

Hotter than evaporated water.

Hotter than a verse from Jay-Z.

Hotter than Andre 3000. (cause that nigga is Ice Cold)

Hotter than Nelly's Tip Drill video.

Hotter than the block Lil Wayne was talking about.

Hotter than a flaming shot.

Hotter than volcanos when they make new islands.

Hotter than sticking your hands in your pants in the winter.

Hotter than a parade of gay men. (get it? cause they're flaming)

Hotter than your mom.

Hotter than a plump dark skin grandmother in Africa.

Hotter than something I wrote. (no ego)

Hotter than the mess you are. (oh! you cold as ice, CG)

That's how hot it is....

but I'm coolin though.

I'm sweating a swimming pool over here

and you can't jump in.

Private property, knamean?

Word.

Strollin'

For as long as I can remember,

people have told me I walk funny.

Well, not necessarily funny.

Just different.

They didn't even classify it as gay or thug or anything.

They described it as unique to me.

People can tell its me coming a mile away.

If it's not because of something funny on my shirt,

it's because of my walk.

It's been described as like a bounce.

They called it my swagga, but that word is dead now.

We'll just call it my stylo.

Someone once said it's like I always have a walk in my head.

...she was right, I do: headphones or not.

It just how I do.

Some of you may recall from an earlier post

that I avoid stepping on cracks as well.

I won't bother retelling my reasons for it.

But yeah... I think walking definitely says a lot about a person.

How straight their back is displays self confidence.

If their head is down, they aren't very social or comfortable.

Their pace shows urgency or lack thereof.

The length of their stride represent ...something, I'm sure. haha

So, what are your opinions on walking?

How do you walk?

Do you think it means anything?

Let me know.

Word.

Oh, and a quick update.

I've noticed I stop puttin up poems and short stories.

That wasn't on purpose;

it just kinda happened. haha

So... you can expect a couple to come your way this week.

Get hype!

SML

So...

I assume since you're reading this

that you're familiar with IM/text acronyms.

You know...

LOL

WTF

LMAO

ROTF

FML

and many more, I'm sure.

But just now,

as I browsed Twitter and talked to friends on AIM

[as I usually do]

I thought up a new acronym to add to the list:

SML - story of my life.

How this hasn't come up yet, I haven't the slightest.

Truthfully, it may not be used as often as the ones previously listed,

but it can still be clutch in online conversations.

"I always fall for the wrong person. sml"

"I just failed that Spanish quiz. sml"

"I'm def gonna regret eating this cheeseburger at 3 in the morning. sml"

"Her lace front stay offending me. sml"

Be it for serious stress or for humor,

SML can really come in handy.

So... in an attempt to see how cool I am

[which is not much at all... sike, I'm popular as shit. no ego],

I want you guys to start using it too.

Let me know if it takes off.

I'd feel accomplished if it actually does. haha

Word.