Runaway!

Ever since Mr West performed the song on the VMAs a month ago,
it keeps coming to mind, ringing in my head over and over again.
In a way, Runaway has regrettably become my current theme song.

Initially, I took the title of the track at face value.

As a senior in college, assignments are constantly piling up. RUNAWAY!

The responsibilities of post-collegiate life approaches. RUNAWAY!

More and more people look to me for advice. RUNAWAY!

The expectation that I'll soon change my reckless ways. RUNAWAY!

But as I listened to the lyrics more,

I realized Kanye wasn't talking about running away himself.

It was more so a warning/command for everyone 

to get away from him while they could.

He's always been called an arrogant asshole;

this song is just him fessing up to it once again.

I believe this song applies to me

because I've found myself becoming a bit of an asshole myself.

Allow me to breakdown a bit of self-diagnosis

I've been discussing with myself these past 2 months.

I've always been under the impression that I was a nobody,

and as a result no one liked me in all honesty.

So I fought as hard as I could to get on people's good side.

After a few years of trying, people were convinced I was a good guy.

I'd garnered people's affection.

But then my cynical side popped up.

He asked, "Why do people like you?

What did you do to deserve it?

You're nobody. You're an asshole."

As he kept spitting venom in the back of my head,

I started to believe it.

And as I believed it, I became an asshole.

To quote Guatama Buddha, “All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think, we become.”

Since I have embodied this asshole spirit,

the good part of me wants to push away all worthy souls.

I don't want them to become tainted by me.

I need them to RUNAWAY!

Let me wallow in my own self-destruction

or patiently wait as I reconstruct myself.

[Suddenly, Gnarls Barkley's Run is playing in my head.]

I know, this is kind of a dark post,

but it was holding back a few of my more positive ideas.

So if you know me personally

and I've seemed distant lately,

this is probably why.

I'm trying to get past it,

but as with all things it takes time. 

But trust me,

"Baby, I got a plan.

Run away fast as you can."

Word.