which was the week before I started college.
Nope, not even for a flu shot.
[Last time I got one, it gave me the flu.
Damn germs in a needle.]
Do I have a fear of the doctor?
No, not at all.
I just haven't gotten a check up in a long time.
Oh, excuse me. I mean physical.
That's the grown up way of saying it, right?
Yes, the last doctor I had was my pediatrician.
Yes, I was eighteen that last time.
Yes, he had a Jewish last name.
Yes, he...touched me.
That part was so awkward.
Like, it was fine when I was younger, it was no big deal.
But I had hair down there now.
...that and I knew I was gay by then.
...before this gets any more awkward, we'll just move on.
So, my mom scheduled an appointment with the family doctor.
When she said family doctor, I raised an eye to her.
I know my mom's side of the family is a lil bougie,
but I didn't think we had our own doctor.
Or maybe I'm just being ignorant
and most families have a doctor everyone goes to.
...unless your family takes group trips to the free clinic.
In which case... [shrug]. Least you getting some care.
When we arrived at his office
[yes, he has a private practice],
my mom went in as I filled out some paperwork,
it being my first time and all.
Let me take the time to note that no one was white.
I saw a Hispanic nurse.
The two receptionist were Hispanic and black.
It kinda made me smile.
Then I remembered although I wasn't in Newark,
I wasn't that far away.
Still, I smiled to myself.
When I went back to the room,
I had to wait for like ten, fifteen minutes.
I guess my mom took longer than expected.
Either that, or she was asking questions like always.
Ah, she's so inquisitive and cautious.
Finally, he came to me.
He was Indian,
and yes, for the most part I could understand him.
He seemed like he was in his lower 30s.
I figured he was the new family doctor or something.
He asked me questions and all that jazz.
Then he related to me.
At one point he even said,
"And I'm telling you this as a friend, feel free to call me anytime."
Dude, I just met you!... but thanks.
Made me feel welcome.
He even asked about my grandparents.
The two of them saw him as well.
He was a little rough during the physical though.
When he told me to lay down,
he pushed me back a lil.
He poked my stomach a lil viciously,
and then he pulled me back up.
At least he didn't check for testicular cancer.
I guess that was on me from now on.
Then I got blood work done with the Hispanic nurse.
She laughed at my t-shirt, Optimus Prime in glasses and a fake noise.
[Let me know if you get that.]
When she poked that needle in my vain,
I wanted to scream "THERE'S A NEEDLE IN MY FUCKIN' ARM! AAH!"
But I restrained myself from joking around.
Then I peed in a cup.
No, not for a drug test.
Again, to make sure everything was alright.
If you ever pee in a cup,
don't feel the need to fill it up.
They ain't gonna use all of it.
...unless someone spills some.
In which case, that's hilarious.
....I wonder how much skill
a woman has to have to piss in a cup.
Ladies? o.O
Anyway, I have my next appointment in April.
Apparently, you're supposed to go every three months?
I only went once a year to my pediatrician.
What gives?
Oh well, no use crying over it now.
This is just yet another step into adulthood.
So long, childhood innocence.
I shall miss thee.
Word.
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