Sleepless Nights

I'm fairly certain I stared at my ceiling
and the wall next to my bed for a total of 4 hours last night.

For the first time in forever
I went to sleep before 1am.
[My usual is 4am.]
I gave myself a 9am class this last semester
to kind of prepare for how early some jobs might call me in.
I thought I was being a good boy.

Obviously my body had other plans.
I almost wanted to cry. haha.
Even when I would fade into sleep for a little bit
I would wake up because I was thirsty.
My room was a little stuffy,
but that's how I like it.

I finally passed out at around 5 or so
and forced myself to shower at 8:22.
I was that tired that I remembered the exact time. Yes.

Of course, this is not my first experience,
and I'm sure you've experienced.
But why!!!!!????
This is such a rant,
but this is one of the few times I wish I was a robot.
Then my ass could just power down.
I could even set a timer on myself for exactly when I want to wake up.
But naw, I gotta rely on my own fatigue and an alarm clock.
[sigh]

You do kind of re-evaluate your life in the mean time, though.
It was a "the fuck am I going with my life?" theme last night for me.
Those are always fun. [blatant sarcarm]

As a man, let me tell you,
I even tried that one thing we do.
You know that one thing,
I just don't feel like being vulgar after yesterday's post.
That didn't even work.
If anything it woke me up more.

I could have drank some warm milk or something.
Ha! I would just now think to drink myself to sleep with alcohol.
Then you wake up the next day either still drunk or hungover on a weekday.
I think that what some people might call a warning sign.

I should have just watched TV or read a book instead.

Guess I'll know better next time.

Word.