Double Chin

Alright, fine. I'll admit it.
I've gained some weight since graduation.
I will not disclose how much,
but yes it is on par (if not past) the freshmen 15.
There has to be some phenomenon called
the post-grad 30 or something right?
...crap, I said I wouldn't disclose.

For the most part, no one's made a big fuss about it.
That was until I returned back home for a week.
"You look bigger."
"Look at that round ol' face of yours."
"You getting fat, yo."
Yes, from the subtle to the flat out,
I expected comments on my weight.
It's only fair, they didn't really get the chance to
when I gained the freshmen 15.
I was still transitioning out of the
urban baggy clothes phrase into preppy-wear.

But girth aside, I really don't mind it.
As long as I can still dance my ass off,
I could weigh 300 pounds for all I care.
...okay, not really, but you get my point.

It's my face that bugs me.
That round face comment,
it's kinda true.
My cheeks poke out above
my sideburns as they reach my goatee.
But really, the worst part
is the slow formation of the dreaded...
DOUBLE CHIN. [lightning strikes]

There's something so demeaning about a double chin.
I suppose it's the true sign of overweight/obesity.
You can hide rolls in big clothes
or lumps under a veil of black,
but not even a turtleneck will hide
that twin beast hanging from your face.

I've discovered that as my double chin began to fully form
- or perhaps it was just when I consciously noticed it -
my eyes were drawn to the chins and necks of other people.
I noticed that even some of my "average" build friends
indeed too had the beginnings of what was sure
to become a full fledged double chin,
and there was nothing I could do to help them.

I mean, seriously,
has no exercise or machine been created
to target face fat.
The market for that is WIDE open.
Do you know how many people
would kill to see their jawline defined,
to see cheekbones they hadn't seen in years
without the use of cosmetic surgery?
Why must the face be such a hard to reach area
when losing weight?
I'm almost certain that's one of the last places
you start to see results in when working out.
Then again, I'm no doctor,
so what do I know.

All I know is,
I feel sorry for every female and asian man
who lacks the ability to grow facial hair
in the vain attempt to hide their extra chin.

So to all you doubler chins out there, keep your head up
- no seriously, it doesn't look so bad like that -
at least you're not a member of the no neck committee.
Word.