How Can I Help You?

Have you ever seen a friend in a bad situation,

and you wanted to help

but you have no idea what to say?

The problem is we see they're dealing with a problem

but we don't know how to relate

because we've never been through it

or it's just a touchy subject in general.

Personally,

I keep quiet.

If you just start throwing generic statements their way

like "Everything's going to be ok"

or "It's not the end of the world"

or even "You're not alone"

the person might catch an attitude

and move away from you,

strengthening the wall they built between them and the world.

What I will do is observe them.

Sounds creeper-ish, I know,

but this way you can see how they're reacting.

(Not reacting is still a form of reacting).

You can't just approach them when you first notice something's wrong.

Yes, you can ask but don't get too involved in it

unless they start to vent to you.

That's when you have to pay attention to the details.

Try not to seem bored, even if you are.

The person's problem could be hella cliche,

but to them it's unique because it's their problem.

Judging from what the person says,

decide what to say.

For me, there are two options:

flowery and real.

Flowery is along the lines of the examples of what not to say,

but it still holds a little more weight.

You repeat things that they said and reassure them that'll get through it

and that you're there for them.

Real is the straight up truth.

It can sound mean as all hell when it comes out,

so you have to make sure the person can handle it.

The truth will be obvious;

it's just something the person is ignoring

but that's why they're venting to you: to hear it.

In other cases,

the person might not reach out for help at all.

They'll try to rough it out.

I tend to leave these people alone.

If they want to talk,

they know someone will listen.

Until then, just let them be.

Pry at your own risk.

Anyway,

that's just my opinion on the matter.

What about you all, my dear friends [and associates]?

How do you approach a situation like this?

How would you want to be approached?

You know I love it when I hear back from you.

Dwell on it, and get back to me.

Word.