BGN (Board Gaming Network)

INT. MOUNTAIN DEW STADIUM, SPORTSCASTER BOOTH - NIGHT

Two sportscaster are dresses in red, yellow, and black business casual attire. They are seated on opposing sides of a L-shaped metallic table with a 63’ monitor behind each of them. The BGN and C4A logos are sandwiched between the screens.

MELANIE

Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen. This is the C4A Championship Round on the Board Gaming Network, your place for all official broadcasts of all your favorite board and card game matches. I’m Melanie Martinez.

FLIP

And I’m Flip Fistaker. In case you haven’t been following our coverage all day, here’s what you missed.

[Infographics and stats appear on the monitor behind him]

In the qualifier rounds this morning, newcomer Tunechi Yamato wiped out veteran after veteran channeling his grandmother Jun Yamato’s legendary chinese checkers skills only to be beaten his cousin Hero Wasabi in the top 16.

MELANIE

That’s right, but Wasabi didn’t get much further than that. In the quarterfinal round, his opponent was able to stomach the spicy full flavor of his moves and spit something hot back at him. Everyone was pulling for this family to make it to the final stage, but it just wasn’t in the Yugioh Decks for them.

FLIP

You could say they didn’t “have the heart of the cards” within them.

MELANIE

[chuckling] That’s right, Flip, because they’re playing with what are essentially checker pieces. Now let’s go to the arena and see who actually made it to the grand fight.

EXT. MOUNTAIN DEW STADIUM, MAIN ARENA - NIGHT

The stadium resembles one used for baseball, but the diamond is replaced with a 24 sq ft platform with a wooden table and two plush chairs perfectly centered on it. The standard Connect 4 board is on the table, red and yellow circles stacked neatly on either side. Spotlights shine down, with more following the players as the enter. In the stands, the crowd roars.

FLIP (V.O.)

Up first, we have Manhattan’s own lord of Central Park, Andre “Stack ‘Em” Drake.

[Andre walks out to “Oh Boy” by Cam’ron. He’s wearing a pink fur coat that he throws off halfway to the platform, revealing tailored overalls studded “Stack Em’” and no shirt. The crowd goes wild.]

Two time C4A Champion and truly the showboat of the Association, Drake is known not only for stacking his pieces before every match but also for only winning vertically. He’s purposely forgone winning horizontally and caused stalemates. If it’s not up and down, yo boi Drake doesn’t want it.

MELANIE (V.O.)

[to Flip] I really wish you’d stop that.

[to the audience] But his opponent is no joke either, it’s John “JJ” Johnson!

[JJ walks out to “Bye Bye Bye” by N*SYNC. He’s chosen to perform choreography from the video instead of advancing plainly to the platform. By the time he arrives, he is out of breath.]

JJ has been in the Association for five years with this being is first time advancing all the way to the Finals. You can tell how excited he is to be here. Just looks at those moves and his cute little butt in those jeans as he grooves.

INT. MOUNTAIN DEW STADIUM, SPORTSCASTER BOOTH - NIGHT

FLIP

That’s right. BGN: the place for all your unbiased commentary.

MELANIE

Drake won the coin flip backstage and has chosen to go second, a smart move as he’ll be able to make the first move after JJ determines the landscape. Let’s go back down and watch the action unfold.

EXT. MOUNTAIN DEW STADIUM, MAIN ARENA - NIGHT

Andre and JJ take turns dropping piece after piece into the plastic receptacle as Flip and Melanie react. After Andre refuses to drop a fourth piece in what could win him the game horizontally, JJ drops his piece into the same slot and wins the game.

FLIP (V.O.)

Oh my lanta, ladies and gentlemen, JJ Johnson has played Andre Drake for the arrogant fool that he is. Never in all my days did I expect Drake to actually hold that true to his playing style, let alone fall for such a trick. We have a new C4A Champ, and he’s a scrawny white kid from Chicago!

INT. MOUNTAIN DEW STADIUM, SPORTSCASTER BOOTH - NIGHT

MELANIE

My sweetie JJ joins the ranks of not only Andre “Stack ‘Em” Drake himself but also Taylor “Swift” Anderson, Terrence “Tip It” Tippett, and Hector “High 5” Noreaga, the 5-time record holding champion who won every final’s tournament by connecting five! We go back to the field with Jolissa Smith for a post game interview with JJ. Jolissa.

EXT. MOUNTAIN DEW STADIUM, MAIN ARENA - NIGHT

JOLISSA

Thanks, Melanie. I’m here with John “JJ” Johnson who just won his first championship Connect 4 match. JJ, tell us, as a kid from the southside of Chicago, how does it feel?

JJ

Oh well, you know, gosh, man. I just wanna say thanks to my momz for always believing in me and my dad for lea--

[A streaker runs by Jolissa and JJ breaking his focus.]

FLIP (V.O.)

Gotdammit. Well folks, you know it happens every year: some fan gets by our lax security and runs naked across the field. Now, you see, if they’d do it in costumes, I wouldn’t mind it as much.

MELANIE (V.O.)

Oh, this is just fine by me. But let’s give our censors a break this year. For BGN, I’ve been Melanie Martinez.

FLIP (V.O.)

And I’ve been Flip Fistaker. Join us tomorrow night when we’ll be broadcasting the First Annual DC Deck Building Tournament at 8, preceded by What the Hell is This Game? at 7 hosted by Chet Mezzerro.

MELANIE (V.O.)

Til then, be easy.

[The camera pans out on the stadium as we see the streaker tackled by an angry Andre Drake back in his pink fur coat.]