They Came From Me

I still don’t fully understand how this happened. I only wanted a place to avoid the cold months; I had no idea it came with the price of pushing four mini-mes out of my pleasure region. Well, two of them look like me. The twins, they look more like this one tabby I knew on the outside. An okay feline, nothing much to look at. But he protected me from that smelly orange cat and fed me mice when I was too clumsy to hunt myself. I still can’t believe I feel out of that tree, but he was right there when I woke up. He even licked my bottom that got bloodied from the fall, he said.

But he told me to find the first house I could find, that I’d have better luck than him, that I needed it more and he’d survive on the streets for years. He told me to forget about him. Honestly, I had until the twins reminded me of him. What kind of spell did this place put on me? And why four of them? And why did each one hurt more than the last? I guess I have to be thankful to the two tall hairless cats that helped me through it. Though I will say, I’m upset they didn’t let me eat one of them.

Looking at the four of them now though, I understand. They’re cute in their own way. Nowhere near as cute as me, but I’m sure they’ll have no problem tricking hairless cats into picking up their poop. It’d actually be nice if they’d hurry up. I’m getting tired of licking each one of them clean every night; I feel like I’m starting to neglect my own coat.

Caring for someone other than myself is draining. Like literally, the four mini-mes keep attaching their mouth to their nipples and sucking milk out of me. I didn’t know I could even produce anything other than waste! At least, I hope they’re not eating my waste. No, that comes out of the same place they did. I think. I’ve never seen back there.

Ugh. Now I’m hungr-- Oh. The big-nosed, taller hairless cat that feds me is back. Perfect. All the food for me because the little waste monsters don’t have teeth yet. Hopefully they’ll keep playing while I enjoy my fancy feast so that we can all take a nap after I’m done. Yeah, that would be nice. Just one big ball of fluff.