Int. Lively Cruises Galley - Day
A moderate sized cruise boat. The interior is lined with tables and customers. There is a bar behind a small dancefloor with a small stage off to the side.
Chet and Alanis sing Afternoon Delight to a young, dining Asian couple. They finish; the couple claps to be polite but it's clear they don't know the song or what it's about. He walks away. Alanis catches up with him.
ALANIS
I still can't believe you actually got Reese to clear that song.
CHET
I can't believe they didn't appreciate it. How do you not know Afternoon Delight? We're the same age! Goddamn Asians.
[They laugh.]
No, but seriously, if they don't tip me -
ALANIS
Tip us.
CHET
Right. Well, I'm not giving you 25% of a dollar.
ALANIS
They're not gonna stiff you that bad.
CHET
Whatever. I have to go check on a table of 60-something white ladies and pretend I like older women.
[Chet puts on his camera smile as he walks over to the table of women waving him over and lifting their empty mimosa glasses.]
Ext. Lively Cruises Dock - Day
Ebony continues her deckhand training as a Captain finishes showing her how to anchor a boat. Her attention wanders over to the ticket booth where she sees Claire staring at her. Claire realizes this and quarter turns to take a picture as if pretending she never saw Ebony.
EBONY
Hey, who works out of the ticket booth, again?
CAPT. CARL
The ticket booth operators, clearly.
[He looks over at the booth.]
Oh, right. And occasionally the photographers. Though I'm not sure why she's taking pictures of the boat. Hey, Claire! If you're gonna take pictures, at least take 'em of me with the trainee! We'll probably use it at the Holiday party. (back to Ebony) If you stick around that long.
[Ebony laughs.]
[Carl doesn't.]
So anyway, once you loop the rope around the post, you tie the knot. Now I'm gonna undo everything and watch you attempt to do this, alright? Ebony? Ebony?
[Ebony half-listens as she watches Claire photograph them out the side of her eye.]
EBONY
(snapping back) Yeah, totally. Let me at it.
[Ebony slaps her thighs and poses like a macho man before walking over and tripping on the rope. Carl catches her before she falls in the water.]
Claire looks at her camera and smiles.
Int. Lively Cruises Galley - Day
[The cruise has docked and passengers are filing off, some stumbling.]
ALANIS
God I love when we have cruises with open bar.
CHET
Whoever from corporate thought of a Bottomless Mimosa and Bloody Mary cruise, I thank them for these glorious tips.
ALANIS
See, I told you that couple would tip you.
CHET
Not them, the white people. That one group I was serving dropped a twenty each. I fucking love lil white ladies.
ALANIS
What’d that couple leave you?
CHET
Their phone numbers. I realized halfway through the one guy was gay. Which really confuses me: he should have definitely known Afternoon Delight. Anyway, I might give his number to Greg.
ALANIS
Are you gonna call the girl?
CHET
No. I don't want to upset my Carroll County upbringing.
ALANIS
Do you ever sleep inside you race? I'm starting to think you're self-racist.
CHET
Listen, when you're one of four Asian kids in the whole county and the only Asian girl is your sister, then we can talk.
ALANIS
You poor adopted bastard.
CHET
Listen, my parents may be lame but... No yeah, they're pretty lame. Thanks for rescuing me from South Korea though, I guess.
ALANIS
So what, you gonna go home with one of those old white ladies?
[Chet presents a twenty dollar bill with a phone number on it.]
You're shitting me.
CHET
If I need more from where this came from, I know who to call.
ALANIS
What did you sing for them, anyway?
CHET
Shook Me All Night Long. One of them said it was their daughter's favorite song, so I did it.
ALANIS
Are you ever gonna sing something not 70s or 80s?
CHET
Excuse you, I do 90s way more than I do 70s. Afternoon Delight was your idea anyway.
ALANIS
Thanks for doing that, by the way. It'll probably be the first and last time, though.
CHET
What do you mean? You skipping town and waited to the last minute to tell me or something?
Alanis looks around to make sure the busboys aren't in hearing range.
ALANIS
I heard a rumor that Corporate is cutting out performances on the boat and making most of the cruises buffet style.
CHET
(pause) Bullshit. We’re the main attraction. What else do they have to stand out if not singing and dancing waiters?
ALANIS
They want to expand the speedboat tours, I think.
[Chet looks out the window to see a speedboat tour on its way.]
CHET
Damn those motorized bastards to hell. So what, they're cutting the staff in half after this season?
ALANIS
Or transferring them to other departments, yeah.
CHET
Well, fuck. I guess everything's about to change then.
ALANIS
What do you mean?
CHET
You know the lease on my place is up this month. I'm not staying there another year; it's in a shitty part of town and Bonnie and Evan are moving to Philly anyway.
ALANIS
They didn't tell me that! Jeez, you think you're friends with your coworkers...
CHET
Yeah, anyway. I need to find a new place and roommates. Probably a cheaper place, too. But I don't know what's gonna be cheaper than my place now.
ALANIS
You're gonna quit aren't you?
CHET
Like you weren't thinking the same thing. Besides, I kinda wanna get back into acting. I haven’t been in a show since the winter. Gotta make sure my hype in Baltimore doesn't fade away.
ALANIS
Sure. I'll see you at the next waiting job. Who are you gonna get to live with you anyway?
[Chet gives a look at Alanis like she's supposed to know.]
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