Out

Well... it's come to this.
In a sense, it's going back to the Monologues' beginning
Something inspired me to write about this.
I've been avoiding it for a while,
but well.... here it goes.

Coming out is never easy.

Some kids are lucky enough
to realize it as a kid.
I'm not really sure how that works.
I thought puberty was the real indicator for that.
But then again, I was chasing girls at the age of 4
so I guess it's possible.
Obviously, I wasn't as lucky.

I think that if you know as a kid,
usually others will realize it too.
The hazing and disrespect will start then,
and the immunity to the name calling will build.
By the time their grown,
coming won't will be an issue for them;
their struggle is more so teaching people
and helping others with their sexuality.

For those of us that had no idea,
or maybe even denied it,
coming out is a struggle.
For one,
we have to come out to ourselves first.
This is definitely the hardest part.
It took me a whole year to really accept it.
I just couldn't believe that a guy like myself
who found a girl in every grade to treat as my Topanga
could be gay or bi.

The next part is telling friends and family.
Friends first.
This is because friends come and go.
If they can't accept you for who you are,
then it's on to the next one.
However, this isn't always the case with family.
You know, you can't pick your family.
You can even try to run away from them,
but you'll always turn back to them.
I mean, not having your family accept you
is problem one of the biggest fears a person can have.
The relation a person has with their family,
especially their parents,
can dictate how they'll live the rest of their life.

Coming out to my friends was easy;
facebook took care of that for me.
(statuses: spreading the news faster than TMZ)
My family,
only select people know.
Actually only 3.
The rest of my family...
I want to wait until I can support myself to tell them.
Not that they'd cut me off, but I don't know for sure.
My dad... he's always talking about me having a son,
asking me what I'm goin to name him.
And his brother and mother,
always asking me how many girl friends I have now.
I feel like they know...
...but I won't confirm just yet.

Now, for some people,
coming out just doesn't seem an option.
They'd rather not have anyone know.
It has to deal with their image.
You see, sometimes people hold you in a certain light,
and the fear is that once they find out,
they'll treat you completely different.
I mean, I get it,
but I'd rather have people know the real me
and treat me as they would from there.

With that said,
I don't introduce myself like,
"Hi, I'm Charles. I'm gay."
No, not at all.
I shouldn't be defined like that.
And it's not necessarily everyone's business to know.
If they find out, then cool.

Lastly,
this one is for all.
Don't out someone.
If they're in the closet, let them stay there.
Sure, you can convince them to come out,
but don't badger them and make them feel bad.
Know when to let it go.
I'm pretty sure I know some gay kids who aren't out,
and I have to remind myself not to make reference to it
around other people because I don't know if they know too.

Overall,
coming out is a tricky thing.
I wish it was easier,
like if there was just a clear indicator to tell if someone was or not,
no more hiding, and hopefully no more ridicule.
But such is not the world we live in.
Beatings still happen to gays,
but that's a subject I know little about.
So I'll end here.
And wish all my fellow gays and lesbians
a safe journey until coming into their own.
Word.